The nerves were coursing through my body like corrosive acid, tiny beads of sweat clinging to the very top of my forehead as I watched Michelle Law rise up and sit on the spindly little stool. I balled my hands into fists as I awaited my fate, this one decision would change everything. Slowly I let out a breath as I heard the shout "Hufflepuff!". Then I definitely started to panic, watching Professor Mcgonagall's mouth move to form the words I was scared of hearing the most, but she said them anyway. "Sacrillia Lupin".

All I could hear was roaring in my ears as I took the tentative step up to the elevated stage and sat down. The eyes of an entire school were on me and I felt my face flooding with colour. I examined the faces, catching my brother's tense face as I could tell he was inwardly praying I would be in his house. My eyes then flickered over the faces of his friends, letting them linger a fraction longer on Sirius, who was beaming at me. As I scanned the hall a pair of sad, black eyes caught my eye at the Slytherin. The boy was pale and skinny, with a slightly large nose and long black hair hanging slightly curtain-like at the sides of his face. His brow furrowed slightly as he realised I was looking right back at him, and he looked away a conflicted look filling his pale face.

"This is one of the toughest sortings I've ever had, you could be placed anywhere. You are as ambitious and cunning as a Slytherin, as intelligent and witty as a Ravenclaw, you are definately as loyal as any Hufflepuff. However there seems to be something that is forcing me to choose Gryffindor for you, some outward force which I cannot control, as if the universe is telling me you are destined to be in this house" the sorting hat whispered in my ear.

"Are you sure it's not my brother and my friends bewitching you?" I thought, watching James Potter in particular for any signs of bewitchment, though I struggled to find any.

"You think I could be fooled by silly little third years? Of course not. It's beyond them that I can feel it. I can sense bravery and a nerve like no other. I feel I am obligated to place you there, though I am sure you will do well. It'll have to be GRYFFINDOR!"

There was a roar from the Gryffindor table as I descended down to my house, my eyes flickering back to the mysterious boy at the Slytherin table who looked disappointed then appeared to look away. Remus moved up a seat to make room for me as I recieved many pats on the back from fellow Gryffindors. He wrapped me in a vice like hug, beaming. I gave the mystery boy one last look as he watched me with unexplained sadness in his eyes.

"Thought you were going to the dark side then" Sirius grinned as I sat down.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"You kept looking at the Slytherin table" he shrugged, his eyes widening suddenly. I turned my head to see what was terrifying him so much and saw an exceptionally pretty girl with red hair cascading over her shoulders like a waterfall with startlingly green eyes giving him one of the worst glares I had ever seen.

"Excuse me, not all of Slytherin are bad. I'd say there are some worse offenders on this table" the girl said loudly, a venom in her voice.

Sirius muttered something under his breath, however it was clearly not quiet enough as the girl seemed to gain even more fire in her eyes.

"Don't talk about him Black! Yes that's right I heard you! He's ten times the man you'll ever be" she was almost shouting now, the eyes of all the students on her.

"Yeah...come on Sirius, Lily is right" James said, looking at the girl hoping for some approval but got none, instead met her lip curling in contempt.

"Could we continue with the Sorting now?" Professor Dumbledore asked, chuckling at the disagreement happening.

They all gave their apologies looking abashed and turned to watch the sorting again, and I blushed slightly then also turned to watch the rest of the sorting, the words of the sorting hat still ringing in my ears. Nothing was ever normal for me.

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"Okay thankyou Professor Flitwick" I called walked briskly out of the charms classroom, late for Transfiguration. I had stayed behind to discuss a piece of work I had done which subsequently made me late for my next lesson. Mcgonagall would of course understand but even so, it was not worth the risk. She was known to be ruthless, and I didn't want to be on the end of a fierce telling off. As I turned the corner of the corridor to head down the staircase I was met by an unpleasant group. It was the Slytherin prefect accompanied by other members of his house, I assumed I was going to get in trouble. He was a prefect after all.

"Well, well, well. A midget out on the corridors in lesson time. Tut tut" he taunted, flicking his silky blonde hair out of his eyes.

"I...I...I was talking to Professor Flitwick I have a note with me if you just let-" I stammered, flushing a deep crimson.

His friends laughed nastily as he smirked, interrupting me. "No, no that won't be necessary" he paused, studying me more carefully. "Hang on, you're Lupin's sister aren't you?"

I nodded, setting off a string of catcalls. "Look I have to go, I'm already late" I said trying to get around him, but he held his arm out and stopped me.

"Now, now. You don't get along that easily. You see your brother and his friends were less than respectful to us, in fact if I remember rightly he put pepperup potion in our pumpkin juice last week?" the blonde boy said, turning towards his friends who agreed.

"But that's my brother, NOT me" I said, annoyed now.

"Oi, we don't do backchat" he said, creeping closer to me, his sickly breath right in my face. "You're a very pretty girl aren't you Lupin"

His wand was combing through my curls and I was back to being scared again, stepping away slightly, preying a teacher or someone would come along. "Leave me alone"

"I don't think I can" he purred, putting his wand to my throat.

"Lucius! There's a teacher coming" one of his group suddenly said, making Lucius step back and pant.

"Shit! Come on guys, split up" he ordered, running off, the rest of his group splitting off except for one. The remaining group member turned round to reveal himself as the boy who had been watching me at the sorting.

"Why aren't you running?" I asked confused, instinctively backing away in case he was going to attack me.

"There is no teacher" the boy said simply, walking away towards the staircase. I followed him out there, wanting answers. He turned at my footsteps and examined me. "I made it up, Lucius Malfoy is unpredictable. I wasn't sure what he would do to you"

"Why would you help me?" I asked, as we continued the walk down.

"I don't know" he replied, turning down towards the transfiguration corridor.

"What would Malfoy have done?"

"I don't know"

Making a noise of irritation I stopped him halfway down the corridor. "Do you know anything?"

The boy smirked at me. "I know you're late for transfiguration"

I studied him for a moment, letting a small smile betray the irritated face I had painted on. He smiled back, a little warily as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to, but it was a real smile.

"Thankyou" I said, turning away.

"No problem Sacrillia" he replied, turning to walk up the corridor.

I registered the fact that he knew my name and I didn't know his. "Hang on, what's your name?" I called.

"Severus Snape" he shouted back before disappearing.

I stared for a moment at the place where he was stood before turning to go into my classroom, but for that moment- my mind was on Severus Snape.

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I stared at him for a long time, unable to comprehend him being there. We hadn't spoken in seven years and hadn't seen each other for four. He was like a ghost, he was my past.

"Hi Lia" Severus said, his voice hollow and his eyes wide. It was weird seeing him looking so much older, more adult. He still had the curtain hair and slightly large nose, but he was lacking the acne and looked much more mature. Quite handsome really. His dark eyes were scanning me, probably viewing how much older I looked now. He is 23 and I am 21, both officially adults.

"Hello Severus" I half whispered, stepping aside from the doorway to signal him in. Severus bowed his head courteously, stepping into the hallway of the house- ducking under the door frame. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before leaning to give me a kiss on the cheek.

After the emotion of the day I found myself flinging my arms forward to wrap him into a tight hug, my arms around his neck. I heard him breathe out as his limp arms found their way around my waist as he buried his face into my hair. Letting myself sob he held me closer, rubbing my back and when I was finished he produced a tissue with his wand for me to wipe my eyes with.

"Thankyou" I said hoarsely, pulling myself away from him. "I have to go attend to dinner, it's in the oven, but you could join me?"

"I'd love to" Severus nodded, following me through to the kitchen. "How are you?"

I considered my answer for a moment. I could lie to him just like I had been doing for the past two years, or- the answer I favoured more- I could tell him the truth. "Better than I have been for a while, yourself?"

Severus considered me for a moment. "The same"

Automatically I walked towards the wine cabinet to grab a glass of wine for him when I remembered, there was none. Awkwardly I turned to him, embarassment clear in my face. "Erm- we don't keep any wine in the house any longer"

I caught the flicker of process going on in his eyes, as though he was coming up for his own reason as to why, and I was fairly sure it would be accurate. "No matter, wine isn't necessary for everything. A soft drink will do fine"

Gratefully, I accepted this answer pouring us both glasses of coke and setting them on the table before returning to the stove to retrieve the chicken, potatoes and carrots. We both sat at the table and he removed his long black travel cloak to reveal matching silky robes, he looked so different from who he was. So polished, so guarded, too perfect.

"You've done well for yourself then" I nodded towards his fine cloak as he draped it over the chair.

Severus looked guarded and embarrassed as he replied. "Dumbledore pays well I guess"

I nodded, attempting to figure out how to phrase my next question in a somewhat polite way. "Severus, I hate to ask but how did-"

"How did I get a job with such a good wizard after I had become such a dark one?" he finished my question, not looking or sounding particularly angry- more like he was expecting it. "I was very fortunate to find someone who was willing to overlook and forgive the mistakes I had made"

"I missed you" I admitted, blushing slightly. Today had been a day of realisation, that hiding my feelings was getting me nowhere. It hindered more than it helped. I didn't want to drift through life, only surviving by the thought of coming home to another bottle of wine. Things were going to be better now, I was sick of hurting. Sick of hurting the people I love. Hurting them like I hurt Severus.

Severus didn't smile, in fact he looked slightly pained.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" I apologised, regretting my decision almost instantly.

"No, no Lia don't" he looked more pained at my words. "Don't apologise. It just hurts because I feel the same, but I've never been like you. You have always been open, and I have not. Every time I have I have gotten hurt."

"Then how could you tell me all that?" I asked, finishing my meal and setting down my knife and fork.

"Have you ever noticed Lia, you ask a hell of a lot of questions" Severus said, rising up and collecting plates- ignoring my pleas for him to stop.

"Do I?"

"Yes, you do" he replied with a slight smile, washing the plates using his wand. "But I always liked that, inquisitive"

I bit my lip, letting hazel eyes meet black- the history between us was massive and it showed. Every word, every action was tense, unsure, hesitant. Things could never be the same as they were.

"I better go" Severus said suddenly, edging towards the door.

"You can stay here...if you want- you don't have to" I offered, kicking myself at how stupid I sounded.

He narrowed his eyes slightly, but nodded. "Thankyou, that would be lovely"

Relief flooded through my body, although I had told Remus I would be okay I actually doubted whether I would be able to restrain myself from drinking. Now I knew I could, also I didn't want Severus to walk back out of my life again.

"I am going to go to bed now if that's okay, could you show me where I am sleeping?"

"It'll be in my room, I figured it would be too weird to stay in Remus' room" I said, leading him towards my small, but neat room.

"That will be fine, thankyou for the meal and the place to stay" Severus said, bowing his head towards me.

"It was my pleasure, as I mentioned before, it was lovely seeing you" I replied, reaching for a hug. Not quite as intense as our first hug, more of a quick, unsure goodnight hug.

"Good night Lia"

"Good night Severus"

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I was sat in the living room, reading some medical journal to learn of new potions and spells that had been discovered. The development of medicine in recent years was incredible, magic beyond anything anyone had ever dreamed of. There was a bang behind me and I span round, leaving the journal forgotten. I stood up and wandered out into the kitchen area, fear and adrenaline coursing through me. I felt like someone was watching me.

"Lia" came a raspy voice behind me.

Then I saw him, he had his wand aloft and he was walking forward, a look of evil in his eyes. "CRUCIO"-

;x;

"Lia, Lia! Wake up" someone was shouting, shaking me.

I opened my eyes to see Severus Snape, and I had to stop for a moment to process his being there. Finally I remembered and let out a shaky breath, accepting a glass of water he passed me with an equally shaky hand.

"Thankyou"

"You were screaming Lia, I thought something must of-" he said earnestly, stroking my hair before pulling his hand back, surprised with himself.

"Just a bad dream" I whispered resting the glass back down. "I'll get up now"

"What are you on about? It's two 'o clock in the morning, you can't" Severus protested, gently pushing my shoulders back down.

"I'm too scared to sleep" I said, my voice cracking and a tear escaping.

"What if I...what if I stay with you?" he suggested, a startling red filling his usually chalk white cheeks.

"Please" I whispered, reaching for his hand as I had done so many times before. He wrapped his fingers round mine and i stood and pulled him towards my room- he couldn't stay in there it would be too strange for him.

I pulled over the covers and lay under them, my heart racing, I felt him lie on the other side and with a shaking hand I turned off the light and finally went to sleep, a dreamless sleep.