Community Psychology: A Study Of Arrested Development.
Chapter 3: Piercing Armor
Jeff sat at the table in the study room and played with his phone.
"After Pierce was arrested, Jeff returned to the study room to think about his next move. That's when Britta returned from her last move."
Britta marched into the study room and said "First the good news: I was not arrested for impersonating a lawyer."
"Good." said Jeff. "Wait, there was a possibility of that?"
"Where's Pierce?" asked Britta. "I thought you were keeping an eye on him."
"Something happened in the cafeteria." said Jeff. "He's been arrested by security."
"What?" yelled Britta. "(bleep)!"
"He got into an argument with Michael Bluth's workers and it got nasty." said Jeff.
"And what did they do about the workers?" asked Britta.
"They did nothing." said Jeff. "They used the excuse that they couldn't do anything with them because they weren't students. Don't worry about them. Michael said he'd handle it."
At the construction site, Michael handled it.
"The way you treated that old man and that sandwich maker was completely insensitive and unprofessional! I want you both to go back there and apologize to them and don't come back until you do! And I don't want to hear about any (bleep)ing or (bleep)ing or (bleep)ing or back (bleep)ing or cross (bleep)ing..."
Abed filmed him while Troy stared slack-jawed.
Back in the study room, Jeff got up and walked over to Britta. "Where's Annie?" he asked.
"She said she had a thing to do." said Britta. "I have no idea what she meant by that."
"I'm sure she'll call if she needs help." said Jeff. "Right now, we have some other business to take care of. I'm going to work on getting Pierce out of jail while you can continue trying to stop this frat house."
"Do you really think I have a chance at that?" asked Britta.
"No." said Jeff in a sneering tone. "I just want you out of the way while I try to avert disaster. In the meantime, you can keep trying. And just remember you can't impersonate a lawyer without a college degree."
"Meanwhile, Annie was impersonating a lawyer without a college degree."
"'It was lying there' is not a valid excuse." said Annie to a client. "If it's not yours, you have to ask permission. You don't even need a law degree to know that."
"While Annie was explaining the concept of sharing, Britta decided to pay the dean a visit."
Britta marched into Dean Pelton's apartment and threw open the door to the bathroom to find the shower running. Pelton, almost naked, yelped.
"We need to talk." she said sternly.
"Can't you see I'm about to get into the shower?" yelled Pelton.
Britta looked at his crotch to see him wearing cutoff jean shorts.
"It's about Pierce." said Britta.
"Ah, yes." said Pelton. "I heard about that."
"Well, are you going to help us free him or not?" asked Britta.
"It's not that simple." said Pelton. "Pierce has a long list of complaints against him since enrolling thirteen years ago. Just ask Mary. He suggested that her pyromaniac boyfriend help out with a bonfire protesting air pollution."
"I know that Pierce has a long history of getting on people's bad sides." said Britta. "But he was just standing up to a couple of bullies this time. Surely, that must be commended."
"It is commendable." said Pelton. "But that's not the way security sees it. Michael Bluth's workers are building their frat house and they run the college security squad, so security is looking out for the workers. I can try to talk to the guards."
"Well, what can I do?" asked Britta.
"If enough people are opposed to the frat house," said Pelton "you could get the attention of the board of directors and possibly change their minds. It's a stretch, but it might work. Now, if you don't mind."
Pelton took off his glasses and stepped into the shower. Britta smiled.
"Britta suddenly had an idea for dealing with Pierce as Jeff went to visit Michael and convince him to help with the situation."
Jeff marched into the cafeteria and made his way to Michael's table.
"He took a more direct approach."
"Get Pierce the (bleep) out of jail now!" he demanded.
"I'll talk to the security guards as soon as I can." said Michael. "But they seemed pretty pissed. I think that Pierce has that kind of effect."
"Yeah, he does." said Jeff.
"So, why do you want him out of jail?" asked Michael.
"Well, regardless of his behavior, he's still a friend." said Jeff. "Our study group is not just a bunch of students in the same class studying the same thing. We're practically family. I'm sure you know what it's like to have a member of your family who's a little screwed up."
"Just one?" asked Michael. "No. Sounds great, though."
"So, I can surely count on your assistance getting Pierce out of jail." said Jeff.
"Why me?" asked Michael.
"Well, I thought you might have a better chance than I did since you used to be a Nu Beta." said Jeff.
"Whoa." said Michael. "I was not with the Nu Beta's. I was in the Tri-Xi frat."
"Did you just say you were with Tri-Xi?" asked a skinny man with a buzz cut.
"Yes, I did." said a confused Michael.
"Hey, brother!" said the man. "Professor Holly, Greendale pottery teacher."
They shook hands and Michael looked at his hand in disgust. "You've got something on your hands." he said.
"It's modelling clay." said Professor Holly. "Occupational hazard. I'm a monster."
"Professor Holly was about to share some stories of the fraternity, as well as a scathing rant about the movie 'Ghost', when Garrett ran in with a crisis alert."
"There's a situation developing at the construction site!" yelled Garrett as he ran into the cafeteria.
Jeff and Michael made their way to the construction site to find Britta leading a protest. Troy and Abed stood next to a table full of musical instruments.
"What's happening?" asked Jeff.
"Britta's formed a mob to protest the frat house." said Troy. "She's hoping that enough people complaining will convince the board of directors to establish a psych center and release Pierce."
"Okay, relax." said Michael. "Soon, we'll have the area clear of protestors, angry workers, and musical instruments. Why do you guys have musical instruments?"
"Sound effects." said Abed. "Great documentaries always have sound cues at key moments."
"Britta, what are you doing?" yelled Jeff.
"The people of Greendale are mad, Jeff!" yelled Britta. "They want to cast down the shackles of the security guards and establish a new facility for mental healing!"
"And get Pierce released." said Jeff.
"Well, yes. That too." said Britta.
Several protestors looked at each other, then walked away.
"Don't you remember what happened with Pierce?" asked Jeff. "The guards carted him off just for arguing with Michael's workers and this is something much worse!"
"This is something much more important!" said Britta. "This college needs psychological assistance!"
"Yes, I see that every day!" said Jeff. "But right now, I'm not convinced we should be going to this extent!"
"That's the problem!" said Britta. "You're not going far enough with your support!"
"That's because I'm not stupid enough to risk my neck for such a hopeless battle!" yelled Jeff.
"Enough!" yelled Michael as a low, droning sound was heard. "What is wrong with you people? Jeff, I thought you were a well put together, caring lawyer, but you're just as thoughtless and selfish as the guys you're opposing! Britta, I thought you could think clearly about whatever cause you were pursuing, but you just do it in such a confrontational and overbearing way it's no wonder you have trouble! And Abed, you can't do that in post?"
He turned to Abed who had a trombone at his lips. He pulled it away and the droning stopped. "I thought we were having a moment." he said sheepishly.
"Well, if you're really dedicated to a cause..." said Britta.
"Which is great unless..." said Jeff.
"Stop." said Michael. "Just stop. I've had it. As soon as I give my speech, I'm heading back to California. I've giving you no choice but to keep yourselves together."
He stormed off while Jeff and Britta looked on in dismay.
AN: To any AD fans who haven't watched "Community", Professor Holly was played by Tony "Buster" Hale.