Last one! Now we are going to build up to that beginning chapter moment from here on out!

Chapter Three: A Loser

My actions are a product of severe depression they say. I wonder how sadness can be measured. Is the human heart really all that simple? Is the human mind? What if some people are just driven by the unknown powers of fate to feel such crushing desires like self harm, or suicide?

What if it's all they were meant for, born to die? Because in this world not everyone can be a hero, not everyone can win and not everyone can make it.

I was born a loser. Born to not meet expectations, born to be unsatisfactory in the eyes of society, born to be distanced from a world where everyone seems to have true purpose.

Born to die.

But I have accepted my purpose, my role in this world. It's nothing to cry about, hardly a reason to stick me in some place like this where all the colors exist in the form of white and quiet can be heard in the halls.

"Hey." My roommate suddenly whispered from the comfort of his sheets, his face was invisible in the darkness, the moon peeking from the window in the middle of the room lighting just the edge of his bed while I remained shrouded in darkness. "What are you in for?"

I didn't reply, simply because I wasn't interested in chatting but also because I didn't want to cause him to hate me as well. Sure, someone other than people who think they had a position of authority over me was speaking to me but it made no difference. Because in the end, everyone is the same.

I mess up and then they hate me, maybe they start out hating me.

"They say I'm depressed?" apparently my unresponsiveness did not bother him, because he just kept talking, "I don't know what they are talking about though, I'm fine. But it does seem like everybody and their mother has some type of depression around here, even the legit crazies have an issue with the damn sickness. Sucks to be too young for pills huh?"

It was, he continued to talk for another hour straight with light pauses here or there. I guess since I didn't object he didn't feel the need to stop, or maybe he was really depressed and lonely. So lonely he would rather talk into the dark than have no communication.

But who knows tomorrow he could just lay there in bed, or maybe even spend time throwing this at me like my last roommate just a day or so ago. I've only been in here a week but no matter what everyone seem to be the same when you finish sinking you teeth in and hit the bone.

I learned a long time ago that people drown in their own misery, drown in the things they know could change. But the problem is the change might just simply be against their nature. I know the change is against my nature, I can't be that guy who is smooth, commanding a room's attention just with the sound of my voice.

Because it's written in the stars, I was born to lose.

I guess that's why I ended up with a diagnosis of Avoidant personality disorder alongside my severe depression, but either way the treatment is the same; take some pills and sit around to chat.

Only the second part was proving to be a challenge, I'm so rude. The man sits there, doing his best to chat with me. Engage me. He even pretends to enjoy my company at times, and what do I do? I sit there and say nothing because I don't want to be any more of a loser, a freak, than I already am.

Because who wants to honestly have a conversation with me, the bottom of the food chain.

Because, because, because….there are millions of because's I could give. But in the end there is only one final reality.

Because I lose.

Now I know these chapters seem to be very vague, but chapter Four has WAY more plot development(not actually written, just in my head). This is like a test run, to see if the idea is good or not and will be received alright! SO REVIEW