The Guys are just milling about waiting for dinner. Tib has fallen back asleep, Carter and Samus are trying to pull the wrestling munchkins apart, and Sheppard is trying to hit golf balls into cups. Nobody has joined him.
Cam (groans): How long is this going to take! It's been like five hours!
Campbell: It's been ten minutes, Cameron. Be patient.
Cam: I'm hungry, Cam. A man can't be patient when he needs to eat.
Tib (wakes up a moment): Eat?
Cooper walks up.
Jack: Is it ready?
Cooper: No, I just came to make sure you were all still here.
Cooper walks away. The Guys wait quite a while longer. Jarem is blabbing away to everyone while only Kaavi listens, Dax is performing some weird Trill ritual that she probably just made up, and the munchkins are seeing who can annoy Snake the most.
Finally Shawna approaches cautiously.
Shawna: If you'll follow me in an orderly fashion, please.
She turns around and starts walking, trying not to look behind her. Somehow they arrive at the dinner without much incident. Cooper is waiting at the door.
Cooper: It is buffet style. Line up.
All the Guys push, pull, hit, bite, kick, punch, slap, pull hair, shoot, vaporize, snap necks, Shep-attack, rip, poke, steam roll and kill for the front.
Cooper: Get in line or you won't be fed.
The Guys line up very nicely, perfectly calm now. Cooper opens the door. The Guys all try to rush in but they get tased.
Shawna: I'm sorry, but that will happen if you don't behave.
The Guys get back in line and enter. The first in line, Ariel, grabs a plate and starts on the buffet. Tib grabs five plates.
Daniel: Um, Ariel, how exactly are you wal...
Ariel stares at him expectantly, smiling.
Daniel: Nevermind.
Ariel turns back to the food and gets a shocked expression.
Ariel: Fish! How could anyone- uh! The nerve!
Ariel huffs away to the salad bar.
Rodney (pointing to a bunch of citrus fruits): Don't eat those! Those are very bad!
Calhoun, Carter, Lara and Seven ignore him and fill their plates with citrus fruit.
Daniel is getting food next to Clyde.
Daniel: Um, Clyde, how are you even...
Clyde stares at him impatiently, frowning.
Daniel: Nevermind...
Jack: Gosh Daniel, just leave people alone.
Vanellope (trying to climb up Jack's leg): Jackelope! You're leg is as fat as a tree trunk so I can't climb it and I can't reach the table!
Jack ignores that insult and puts Vanellope on the counter. All the other munchkins start whining at a nearby Guy to get up there too. Random Guys help them.
Rapunzel: Grug, I think you're supposed to put the food on your plate and get a table before you eat it.
Grug (stops stuffing his face): Oh. I was wondering why I was the only one eating.
Jarem: Ooh, I found the plump section!
Dax: Actually that's a footprint trail that Minty left on the counter. Don't tell me you can't tell true plumps from footprints!
Jarem (shrugs): Never could.
Jarem puts it on his plate anyway.
Rhade is finally done filling his plate and is heading for a table. Guy runs into him and makes him drop his plate.
Guy: I am so sorry! Really, really sorry!
Rhade is standing there very angry looking, clenching and unclenching his fists.
Guy: You won't believe how sorry I am right now. Super duper sorry!
Rhade's anger is building.
Guy: It won't happen again. (looks at his own full plate, then shoves it into Rhade's hands) Here, have mine!
Rhade instantly looks content and continued to his table. He stops in his tracks when he sees that his table is filled. His anger is building...
At a random table a safe distance from...that, Dylan and Julian are playing Go while they eat. Also at the table is Rose and Jack, unrelentlessly making out. Dylan and Julian are distracted.
Dylan: Do you think maybe we should...move?
Julian (inches his chair away from the couple): I don't know. What do you think?
Dylan glances at the slobbery mess.
Dylan: Yes, let's move.
They grab up the Go game and their food and begin searching for a more decent looking table. Jarem and Kaavi join Rose and Jack.
Rodney is innocently enjoying himself as he eats and chats with Rommie (but mostly eats).
Rodney: I really like these mashed potatoes, mmmm!
Rommie: That's nice.
Rodney: Is that you touching me under the table?
Rommie: No.
Rodney lifts the tablecloth to peek under the table and comes face to face with Seven.
Rodney: Aah! What are you doing under there?
Seven: Making sure you are sticking to your diet. Which you are not.
Rodney replaces the tablecloth and awkwardly returns to eating.
Carter (walking by): Hey Seven.
Seven (from under the table where people can't see her): Hello.
Rodney stares after Carter, who trips over Jubileena and lands face first in her food.
Carter: Awww!
Then Teal'c comes up to Rodney's table and lifts the tablecloth.
Teal'c: I am ready.
Seven exits the table and leaves with Teal'c.
Rodney: Am I the only one who didn't know she was under there? (he looks at Rommie) Did you know?
Rommie: Yes.
Rodney: And you didn't tell me?
Rommie: You didn't ask.
Teal'c and Seven are trying to find a table. Seven sees Jarem trying to wave her over to him but she ignores him.
Teal'c: How about we go sit with Jack, Rose, Kaavi, and Jarem?
Seven: Okay.
They pass by Ariel on their way.
Ariel: Scrambled eggs, Teal'c!
Teal'c does that weird little smile with his eyes closed for a second, then continues on.
Somewhere else, Calhoun and Felix are just sitting down at a table. Sheppard is already there with Vanellope, Harper, Vala, and Ralph.
Sheppard: Why aren't you two sitting at that boyfriend and girlfriend table? (he points to the table with Rose, Jack, Jarem, Kaavi, Seven and Teal'c)
Calhoun: Are you trying to stereotype us?!
Felix: Calm down, Babycakesface.
Sheppard: I just thought that that's where all couples went.
Calhoun: Felix and I have more of a life.
Felix: You are my life.
Calhoun: Awwww, you're so... Come here!
They start making out.
Vanellope: Eww!
Vala and Harper start mocking them with kissy noises, Sheppard switches seats with Vanellope so he's farther away from them, and Ralph is too busy eating to notice.
At some other table Turbo and Trance are sitting.
Turbo: ...and I was winning! I always win of course.
Trance (excitedly): You do?
Turbo: Yeah! And you wanna know what happened next?
Trance: Ooh, tell me!
Turbo: I got eaten by a Cybug.
Trance (in awe): Wow, that is sooo brave of you!
Turbo is gloating and enjoying the attention. Daniel, Gloyd, and Giselle approach and sit down.
Trance: Turbo's really brave! He got eaten by a Cybug once.
Giselle: Wow! That's like the bravest, manliest thing ever! What's a Cybug?
Trance: I don't know!
They both giggle and shower Turbo with attention. Gloyd glares at Turbo.
Gloyd: Stop stealing my friend! She's supposed to think I'm brave and manly!
Daniel distracts Gloyd with some food before he can attack.
At another table is Samus, Snake, and Lara. Samus and Lara are just sitting there staring at each other and laughing every once in a while. Snake is getting very fidgety. Finally he can't stand it anymore.
Snake: Will you two stop doing that!
Samus and Lara glare at him.
Lara: You interrupted.
Snake: You were creeping me out!
Lara eats a bite while still glaring at Snake. Samus takes her helmet off to eat. Her hair wooshes out and the tip of her ponytail goes in Lara's food. Neither woman seems to notice.
Somewhere under a table, Rancis is pouring clam juice, clams included, into Campbell's sneaker while Swizzle watches.
Campbell: My sock feels wet.
Cam: Maybe a munchkin is peeing in your shoe.
Candlehead laughs.
Swizzle (muffled under the table): Hey, that's a good idea.
Campbell screams in disgust and jumps up, knocking the table over on Cam and Candlehead. She accidentally kicks Rancis in the face and steps on Swizzle's hand. All three munchkins start crying.
Cam: Aww, now we have to get them to stop! Do you know how long that takes?
Campbell: Yeah, I always have to wait for you to calm them down because your ugly face scares them.
While that is going on, T-X is sitting at a table somewhere all alone, not doing anything. Just sitting there. Julian and Dylan are still searching for a decent looking table. They see T-X.
Dylan: Should we go sit with her? She looks lonely.
Julian: Yeah, I kinda feel bad.
They head over. Before they reach the table T-X turns and gives them a look. They pretend like they were just passing by and go find another less-menacing table.
At a table near the buffet Gene, Grug, and Taffyta are sitting. They are staring at Rhade, who is still glaring at the full table which he had claimed as his. Tib is with them also but he keeps making trips to the buffet and doesn't notice Rhade.
Gene: Do you think he's ever gonna move?
Grug: I don't think so. He's been like that since we got here.
Taffyta: He can come sit with us. We have room.
Gene shrugs. Grug eats. Tib returns, gobbles, and gets back up.
Taffyta: I'm gonna go ask him.
Taffyta walks up to Rhade.
Taffyta: Do you want to come sit with us?
Rhade's built up anger explodes. He slams his (or rather, Guy's) food tray down on Taffyta and stomps over to his table. Taffyta starts crying and runs back to hers.
Rhade is standing over his table, which contains Sheppard, Harper, Vala, Vanellope, Ralph, Felix, and Calhoun.
Rhade: This is MY table.
Vala: It's kind of ours since we're here.
Rhade: Then you'll just have to leave.
Sheppard: Let's not get into an fight here.
Vanellope (chanting): Fight, fight, fight... oh...
Rhade reaches for the closest person, which is Felix, to remove him. Calhoun flips out her gun and shoots Rhade across the room. Harper screams like a girl and hides under the table. Sheppard looks shocked, Vala is laughing at Harper, Vanellope is clapping, and Ralph is too busy eating to notice.
Calhoun: You will not lay a finger on my cute little adorable man!
Felix (admiring Calhoun): Jiminey Jaminey, she sure is a dynamite gal!
Sheppard: A little overprotective there, aren't you?
Calhoun: Don't you stereotype me!
Sheppard raises his hands in submission. Satisfied, Calhoun sits back down and they all return to eating as if nothing happened.
Meanwhile Rapunzel and Minty are finished their dinner and are now looking through their boxes of donuts and muffins. Dax is watching them.
Dax: How many donuts did you guys buy?
Rapunzel: Alot.
Dax: Can I have one?
Minty (grabbing up the boxes to herself): NO!
Minty growls.
Dax: Okay, okay. I'll just go get my own dessert.
Dax leaves them to their donut obsession. Elsewhere...
Daniel: ...and a transventral nuclear sonic reactor is a nuclear powered reactor with a semi-proton inducer that sends induced protons through a central valve and-
Giselle looks very interested as Daniel goes on even though she has no idea what he's talking about. Suddenly Daniel gets a strange feeling. He looks behind him and sees Jack across the room giving him a scary look.
Daniel: ...aaaand that's pretty much it.
Giselle: Yay!
Cooper and Shawna enter. Shawna goes to the corner a smoking Rhade landed in and revives him.
Cooper: Everyone finish up and follow me. Time for the next event.