Dirty Little Secret
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. The story, however, is my own, my preciousssss (LOTR rocks!).
A/N: hey, everybody! college is weird. rubs eyes confusedly all my classes were like…"grr." i was so terrified i was gonna fail everything (but i didn't. yay!). and it's also sad that it seems everyone abandoned this story. of course, that's my fault because it takes me so long to update. sigh i'm hopeless. oh, well. i tried to get this out a lot faster this time, so enjoy! i don't know how i feel about this chapter, but what matters is what you all think. so enjoy!
Previously on Dirty Little Secret
"Will you, umm, apparate me home, Harry?" Jacob asked hesitantly. At Harry's amused look, he rushed to add, "It's just, I'm the worst at apparation. I don't know how I passed my test. I-"
"I'd love to," Harry broke in gently. Jacob's eyes lit up. Harry took the smaller man's hand, walked him over to a dark corner of the complex, and, with a crack, they were gone.
And now, on with the show…
Chapter 3- Ginerva and the Straight Gay
"Come to think of it, things were always disappearing from our department. But we just blamed it on the gnomes…" Ron murmured thoughtfully, rubbing the back of his neck.
Harry blinked at him, "You have gnomes at work?"
"Yeah, haven't you ever heard of office gnomes? They're the direct descendents of garden gnomes," Ron nodded superiorly.
"Evolution at work," Hermione agreed, staring into the dancing orange and yellow flames of the Burrow's parlor. She didn't want to look at Harry (who was sprawled out on the couch) it seemed.
"See? You learn something new every day," Ron smiled nervously.
Harry glared at him, "Don't change the subject, you idiot. He stole my wallet, Ron. And my wand. Not to mention about twenty golf balls and two nine-irons."
"Which is amazing, really, cause where the heck did he fit all that…" Ron petered off at the ugly look on Harry's face.
"You set me up with a criminal- a thief. What can you possibly say to defend yourself?" Harry asked shrilly.
"I didn't know?" Ron responded weakly, "And thief is such a strong word. More like…kleptomaniac."
"So, you said you apparated him back to his flat, he invited you in for a night cap, you got upstairs, he kissed you, and then you discovered that your wand and wallet were missing?" Hermione questioned him analytically. All she needed was a clipboard and a press badge.
"Yes," Harry bit out.
"And then you punched him, took your stuff back, and stormed out, yes?" she pressed on.
"Yes," Harry was getting annoyed.
"Then I have just one question."
"Oh really? Only one?"
"Where'd you get that black eye, then?" Hermione motioned to the nasty blue-green bruise formed on and around his right eye.
Harry's hand flew to the aforementioned eye and he winced, "Uhh, well, I, uhh…"
"He hit you, too?" Ron prompted.
"No!" Harry growled, "I just tripped and whacked my head on my…coffee table. Right. My coffee table!"
"Sure, your coffee table…" Ron smirked.
Harry snorted, "You have no right to be sarcastic. You had the balls to set me up with your secretary, I made the mistake of actually liking him, and then he stole my crap. You're lower than dog food in my eyes right now, Weasley."
"So, if he hadn't stolen your things, Harry, would you have gone out with him again?" Hermione asked curiously.
Harry scoffed. "'Course not. I'm happy being single, remember? He was a nice guy, though. It's almost better he stole my stuff: I had a reason to leave after that kiss. He kissed me really hard," Harry shuddered, "My lips were red and swollen, and when I got home h- I wiped them off." He chuckled nervously.
"Interesting," Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Well, Ronald," she continued, "I think we've meddled enough. Harry has just had a traumatic experience-"
"That's hardly traumatic!" Ron interrupted, looking scandalized.
"Yeah, I'm not two, you know!" Harry bristled.
Hermione rolled her eyes at the bespectacled boy, "I'm trying to help you, you nitwit."
Harry blinked, "Oh. Oh. Yes…traumatizing! I'll never be the same again!" He threw a hand over his eyes, "How could you do such a thing to me, Ron? I thought you were my friend!?"
Ron sighed, "Fine. Fine. It seems that neither of you can see the good I'm trying to do here. Oh well. If you really want me to stop, Harry, I will."
Harry slowly lowered his hand, "You will?"
"Yes," Ron nodded solemnly, "I swear I won't set you up with anymore guys from now on."
"Thanks, Ron. I knew you'd understand."
Ron grinned nastily, "No problem, mate."
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Harry rubbed his face tiredly as he attempted to read his Quidditch captain's insanely complicated outline for their next practice. Sighing, he finally gave up and tossed the parchment aside while roaming out to his large kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. Just as he was opening the fridge to get the milk, his doorbell rang. He glanced at the clock wearily- it was eight o'clock and he really just wanted to be left alone for the night- he had a long practice ahead of him tomorrow. But Harry was…well…Harry, so he went to the door, figuring it could be an emergency, like a rogue Death Eater attack or a neighbor in dire need of sugar or something…
It was Ginny. She smiled sweetly up at Harry, "Good evening, Harry. How've you been?"
Harry blinked down at her, "I'm, uhh, great, Ginny. But isn't it a little late for small talk?"
Ginny giggled, "Gee, Harry, it's only eight! You're turning into an old man 'cause you don't get out enough! Well," she grinned, "I'm here to remedy that! Let's have a night on the town together!" She grabbed his hand and tried to pull him out of the house.
Harry looked down at his attire- bright red boxers and a tight grey Canons t-shirt- and stood his ground. "Okay, one, I don't feel like going out. Two, I have a lot of work to do before practice tomorrow. Three, where you really planning on taking me out dressed like this?" he motioned vaguely to his scantily-clad body and bare feet.
Ginny had the decency to turn bright red. "Well, no, I suppose not. But you can change!" she added brightly.
Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Didn't you hear me? I don't feel like going anywhere because I have a lot to read before Quidditch practice tomorrow. Maybe we can get a drink and catch up some other time, yeah?"
He smiled and started to close the door, but stopped when he saw Ginny shaking her head earnestly, "No, Harry, tonight! Look, I'm even dressed for clubbing and everything!" She did a little twirl and her silver mini-skirt whipped around her thighs.
"I hate clubbing," Harry said bluntly. "And all of my clothes are in the wash. So, sorry. I guess you can come in for some tea for a little bit, though," he conceded, stepping aside for her to enter.
"I don't know about you living all by yourself here, Harry. You need someone to look after you! Or one day you'll wake up and not have any clothes at all! And you won't have anyone to remind you to do magic to clean them!" And she scampered up the stairs and towards his room.
"GINNY! NO!" Harry cried and tore after her. She was at the end of the hall, just starting to pull open the door to the master bedroom when Harry slammed himself in front of it. "You can't go in there! It's, uhh..it's a mess! And kind of embarrassing."
Ginny laughed, "I don't care about that. I'll just go in, pick something for you to wear, and be right back out. I won't even look at the mess." She winked at him and tried to nudge him aside. Harry stood his ground. "Harry! Come on!" She pushed fruitlessly at him. "You're not being fair! All I want to do is have a nice night out with a guy who used to be one of my best friends! Why can't I have that!?" she cried, tears starting to drip down her cheeks.
Something pulled at Harry's heart strings then. He looked down at the bowed red head and the softly heaving shoulders and made a snap decision. "All right, how about this? I'll go in, pick something, scourgify it, and be ready in five. Go downstairs and wait for me?"
The head popped up and Ginny smiled cheerfully, "Sounds great! I'll be waiting!" And she stood on her tiptoes, pecked Harry on the cheek, and hurried off down the hallway.
Harry blinked. He'd just been played, hadn't he?
&#&
"ISN'T THIS PLACE GREAT?" Ginny screamed in Harry's ear, trying to make herself heard over the pulsating music oozing through the huge room they'd just entered.
Harry looked around Veritaserum, the popular Wizarding club, and shrugged, "It's a club. I don't really fancy clubs. I'm only here for you."
"WHAT?" she yelled back, looking confused. Harry sighed, shook his head, and motioned to the bar. She nodded enthusiastically, so Harry turned and fought his way over to the far side of the room. "Two firewhiskeys, please," he shouted at the bartender, who nodded and ducked down to get two glasses. Harry sat on a high stool and nodded his head to the music (some rap song he'd never heard before), trying to look like he belonged in the crowded club. Which, apparently, he didn't quite pull off.
"Hey, gorgeous, why do you look so uncomfortable? Do you not come here often?" a guy on the barstool next to Harry wiggled his eyebrows, infinitely proud of what he thought was a very clever pick-up line.
Harry turned his head slowly to look at the gangly redhead and wrinkled his nose, "Sorry, mate, but you look like my best friend, so it's not going to happen." He threw some coins down on the bar, took the two firewhiskeys the bartender had just placed in front of him, and slid off his barstool. He threw the Ron look-alike an apologetic look and went off in search of his honorary little sister.
She was dancing happily between two tall men and yelling along with the song, which Harry vaguely noted had changed into a pounding R&B rhythm. He pushed his way over to her, attempting not to spill the two drinks, and had just reached Ginny's side when one of the men reached down and grabbed Ginny's rear. Harry saw Ginny's eyes widen and she pulled herself away from the guy. Harry was just about to come to her rescue when she suddenly walked right up to the man, pointed her finger in his face, and screamed, "You better watch it or my date will jinx you!"
The guy sneered, "Oh yeah? Who's this high and mighty date that could hurt me?" He cracked his knuckles menacingly and slid his wand from a hidden pocket.
Ginny looked around quickly and, seeing Harry standing there with the drinks, motioned over at him triumphantly, "There he is."
The man looked over and, when he saw Harry, he gulped, "Your date's the Harry Potter? Well, that's hardly fair, is it? And here I thought he was gay. Oh well, let's go, mate." And with one last cautious look at Harry, he and his friend hurried away.
Ginny bounced over to Harry and kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Thanks, Harry, you saved me!" she cooed and took her drink.
Harry blinked at her, "I didn't do anything. I just stood here. It was…weird."
"What, Harry? Used to saving pretty girls with gallant acts of sheer nerve? Not used to watching the pretty girl save herself?" Ginny fluttered her eyelashes up at him.
"Uhh, well, one, I'd rather save pretty boys if I had a choice, though if a girl's in trouble, by all means…and, err, two…you said I was your date?" Harry looked at her carefully.
"Oh! Well," Ginny blushed and paused, "I obviously said that to stop him. 'This guy I'm with' doesn't have quite the same effect, you know?" She gave a short laugh and looked away, avoiding Harry's eyes.
It hit Harry in an instant, "I'm going to kill him."
&#&
"WHERE IS HE?" Harry shouted the moment he stepped out of the fireplace and into Ron and Hermione's flat.
Hermione's head snapped up from where she'd been writing invitations, "Harry, what are you doing here so late? Are you oka-"
"Where is he?" Harry repeated quietly, but with a distinctly dangerous edge to his voice.
"Oh, Ron?" Hermione questioned, concern etching her features, "he's in the, umm, bath. But I wou-"
Harry was past her in an instant and storming down the hall towards the bathroom. He threw open the door and Ron's head flew up, a confused look on his face. When he saw Harry standing there with a look that could kill, he squeaked and sunk lower into the bathtub. "Uhh…hiya, Harry."
Harry exploded, "WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF SHIT TOGETHER, RONALD WEASLEY, AND YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF SHITTY THINGS, TOO, BUT WE'VE STAYED FRIENDS, AGAINST ALL ODDS. YOU'RE MY BLOODY BEST FRIEND. SO WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME SO? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?" Harry lost his steam and he slowly sunk to the floor and leaned against the wall. "Why do you do this to me?" he asked again, defeated.
Ron peered at him nervously over the edge of the tub and sighed, "I'm sorry, Harry. I just, well, I just figured that since none of the other guys were working, maybe you weren't quite as gay as you thought you were. I mean, Har, you've never had a real relationship since Ginny. Only occasional dates and stuff like that. So I thought…why not? Maybe you had it wrong when you decided you were gay."
Harry looked disbelievingly at the redhead, "Ron, you don't get something like that 'wrong'. I thought and reflected a long time to realize I was gay. Do you think I want to be? In the muggle world, well, Britain's better than other places, but homosexuality is kinda frowned on. Luckily, the Wizarding world generally doesn't care. But I didn't choose this. It's who I am."
Ron looked away, "You're right, mate, I'm sorry. So, did Ginny tell you?" He scowled at the thought, "I told her to keep quiet…"
"No, well," Harry amended, "she let it slip by mistake. A guy was hitting on her and she told him off by threatening him with her date: me." Ron grimaced. "Yeah," Harry snorted, "so that's when I figured it out."
"So, no more chicks?" Ron sighed, "well, that narrows it down…"
Harry groaned, "Ron, why are you so keen on setting me up with someone before your wedding? Are you having marital remorse or something for me?" He chuckled a little.
Ron rolled his eyes, "It's not anything like that. It's just, well…okay…maybe that's actually a good way to describe it. I guess I'm so happy that I want you to be, too. And, I dunno, I know you're like a celebrity and all, but you really don't spend time with anyone beyond me, 'Mione, and the team. We- okay, I- worry about you, mate."
"I get that, Ron. I really do. But you have to let me find someone on my own. That's the only way it's going to work!" Harry cried.
"But where will you find this fabled guy, Harry?" Ron continued relentlessly, "Are you going to date someone on the team? Cause as far as I know, Greene is the only gay one, and he already asked you out and you turned him down, so you obviously don't fancy him…"
"Ron," Harry began warningly.
"And you never go out with anyone else! I'm the only non-work related male you associate with, and I'm sorry, Harry, but I'm taken, if you hadn't noticed!" Ron was getting upset, "So, please, just let me help you with this, okay? I worry about you, mate. I, uhh…" Ron stopped and cleared his throat, "I love you, man, and I want you to be as happy as me and 'Mione are." His ears turned bright red.
Harry's resolve shattered. He'd been so adamant, so firm…but…what was wrong with Ron trying, really? Well, actually... No. He'd do it. For Ron. "Fine," he snapped.
"I know you don't want to, bu- 'fine'?" Ron gasped, "You mean, you'll let me try?"
Harry blanched and seriously considered rescinding his offer after seeing the eager look on Ron's freckled face. But, well, he'd said he would. "Yes," he said decisively, throwing all caution to the wind, "I'll let you try."
"'Mione, he's gonna let me try!" Ron shouted exuberantly and leapt out of the bathtub and ran out the door, buck-naked.
Harry blinked. Now he was scarred for life.
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With the thought of a naked Ron still dancing in his head (and making him feel quite nauseous, among other things), Harry approached the movie theater with extreme trepidation. He'd agreed, but well…he still hated the idea. He was happy the way he was. He was happy with his-
"Are you Harry Potter?" a firm voice asked from behind him.
Harry turned and blinked at the guy standing before him. He was about the same height as Harry, with dirty blonde hair combed into a neat part (it made Harry's "artfully"- that's what he told people- messy hair look like a rat's nest) and clear blue eyes. He was dressed casually in jeans and a red polo shirt (all the other dates had been dressed up) and he had a wide smile on his face. Harry couldn't help but grin back. "Yup, that's me," Harry nodded, "at least, last time I checked…" he added in a worried voice.
The guy laughed and stuck out a hand, "Jack O'Connor. Great to finally meet you, Harry."
Harry gulped. The guy was Irish and he had a brogue. Harry had always had a thing for guys with accents. "Likewise. Ron told me a lot about you. You guys play on the Ministry Quidditch team together, right?" Jack nodded. "Wicked."
"Shall we go in?" Jack questioned easily and motioned to the door of the theater. Harry nodded and the two walked in. After buying tickets to see a sappy romantic comedy that the critics had panned, they bought popcorn and drinks (Jack gagged as Harry enthusiastically pumped butter onto the kernels) and found their theater just as the trailers were starting.
They laughed during the lame previews, jumped during the scary ones, and teared up during the angsty ones. Once the movie started, Jack kept looking over at Harry to see if he was laughing at the same time Jack was, and he kept brushing his arm against Harry's and then looking away when Harry glanced at him. Harry chuckled.
As the credits were rolling, Jack stood up and stretched. Harry pretended not to notice the enticing strip of creamy skin peeking provocatively from above his waistband. "Well, that sucked," he said cheerfully as he grabbed his coat.
Harry laughed, "Hey, we knew that going in," and he shrugged into his jacket.
"True," Jack nodded. "Anyway…coffee?" he offered hopefully.
Harry winced, "Uhh, I've actually had some really bad experiences with coffee recently. How about…" Harry let the sentence hang and thought hard about what he could do to continue this outing.
"…Pancakes!" Jack suggested suddenly.
Harry blinked and started to grin, "Okay, pancakes it is." He offered Jack his arm and nodded formally, "May I apparate you, dear sir?"
"Umm…sure?" Jack looked at him funny and touched his arm gingerly. Harry glanced at him worriedly and, shrugging, apparated them away.
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"These are the best pancakes I've ever tasted," Jack said reverently as he savored the sweet morsel in his mouth.
Harry laughed at his blissful expression, "They're just pancakes at my local diner, mate."
"Ambrosial pancakes made by the diner of the Gods," Jack sighed. "Anyway," he continued, opening his eyes and focusing all of his intense energy on Harry, "Tell me more about yourself, Harry."
Harry wiggled uncomfortably. He hated talking about himself. "Uhh…well…" he started uselessly.
"Oops, I forgot," Jack rushed out, "Harry Potter doesn't like talking about himself!"
Harry blushed, "Well, it's, uhh, not that…" he paused, "Yeah, okay, it's exactly that, actually…" Jack laughed. "But, I should tell you some stuff, I guess. Let's see…I didn't know I was a wizard until I got my Hogwarts letter, I killed a mass-murdering fuckhead when I was seventeen- or more accurately, I forced him to kill himself-, I dated Ginny Weasley and broke up with Ginny Weasley, realized I was gay shortly after, became the Seeker for the Chud-"
"You're gay?" Jack interrupted suddenly, an odd look on his face.
Harry blinked, "Uhh, yeah? It was all over the news a few years ago. Plus, why else do you think we're here?" Harry laughed. "Anyway, like I was saying-"
"I'm here to make a new friend," Jack said bluntly, "why do you think we're here?
"Because Ron's been setting me up on blind dates and this was the first one I actually agreed to?" Harry offered carefully.
"I should have known!" Jack cried, "That Ronald Weasley! He told me this was a chance for me to meet some more people in Britain since I just moved here a few months ago. But I should have known he would still be on that 'gay' thing!" Jack jumped up and grabbed his coat.
"Wait! Jack! There's been a big misunderstanding here! I'm not actually looking for anyone to date now anyway! I'm only interested in friendship, I swear!" he leapt up as well and started throwing muggle bills on the table.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but I can't have a gay friend. I might catch it or something." And he ran from the dinner and didn't look back.
Harry stood there, his mouth hanging open, until their waitress came over and started clearing the table. "Tough luck, kid," she patted him on the back, "A good looking boy like you will get the next guy, no problem."
Harry sighed as he trudged out of the dinner into the night air. Attracting and getting all of these guys…that was his problem. And he apparated away with a crack.
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"I'm sorry, Harry," Ron said as he looked at the brunette earnestly, "I knew he denies what he is, but I still set you up with him. It's just…I thought if anyone could make him admit it, it'd be you."
Harry stared sullenly at his best friend, "And why is that?"
"Because you're the Wizarding world's most eligible bachelor! And I figured he had a bit of a crush on you with the way he'd blush whenever I mentioned you."
"But how'd you figure out he's gay if he won't even admit it?" Harry asked curiously and took a long sip from the tea mug in his hands.
Ron glanced around the little bakery the two were seated in and then shrugged, "Cause I saw him making out with one of the male secretaries in a broom cupboard."
Harry blinked, "Oh."
"But after I suggested he go out with you, he got all upset. Kept insisting he wasn't gay. I mentioned the scene I'd witnessed and he made a whole ton of excuses: the kid had attacked him, he wasn't feeling well that day, he'd pushed him away as soon as I'd left; that type of thing. But he was seriously into it when I was watching. So," Ron shrugged again, "I knew he was lying and I figured he was a nice guy and if anyone could make him face the facts, it'd be you."
"That's either a thinly-veiled compliment on my charms or an even more subtle jibe at my obvious gayness. I'll assume you meant the first one," Harry raised as eyebrow.
"Of course I meant the firs-"
Harry laughed, "I was kidding, Ron. Thank you, I guess. Just, next time…make sure they're gay first, okay?"
"Obviously," Ron sighed, "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. And you're no help!" He shot a glare at the other man.
Harry raised his hands, "Hey, I'm not supposed to make this easy for you. I'm the one who didn't want any part of this to begin with!"
"Yeah, well…" Ron trailed off and then smirked at Harry, "You're gonna get paired up with somebody, Mister Potter, and you're going to like it."
Harry gulped. Ron sure knew how to make even the simplest thing, like dating, scary. He sounded like Hermione on a homework rampage. She had definitely rubbed off on him. And, for the sake of Harry's mental and physical well-being, that was not a good thing.
To be continued…
A/N: whoof ((wipes forehead)) it's finally done. this took me a very long time because ginny was being a pain in the ass, to be honest. i'm gonna tell you all now, this is going to have some elements of Deathly Hallows in it- like mentioning how voldything died. but other bits are gonna be left out- like certain people dying- ((cough))- seeing as how i started this fic before HBP even, and had all the dates and stuff worked out- and some people who i was gonna have in here didn't make it through DH. so yeah. i'll just be ignoring their deaths…haha. i'm not so sure about this chapter, to be honest. but, oh well. any new guesses on who harry's gonna end up with? it might be someone we've already met! i'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible. until then…enjoy, read, and review!!