Marvellous G: Chapter Three's here... Enjoy!
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Chapter Three : Well-Meaning Mission
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After the entire radio team had gotten over their shock at Jack's survival, they were promptly back to all of their turning random dials on their BIG computer. Major Nought shook his head, and yelled into the microphone, still blinking,
"Nice work, Jack! But now do it again, and shave a few seconds off of your time!"
"But I wasn't timing myself..." Jack said slowly, choosing the diplomatic response out of the two options he had in his head.
"GOOD GOD! DO IT TWICE AGAIN!" Nought roared.
"Get stuffed," Jack said quickly, and began to go and get his bag, which had somehow got caught in a tree he hadn't actually passed on his way down.
'Was I even wearing a bag? 'Jack mused as he trudged between and underneath mossy logs, with the bark scraped off in some places by the evil Ape Escape primates.
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Jack's jumping up to try and reach his bag (which was hanging tantalisingly on the edge of a branch) was interrupted by a radio call from, who else, Major Nought.
"I'm willing to forget how you spoke to me before, Jack," the major said quietly, but also dangerously.
"So, let's get that bag of yours down. Press the action button-"
"What the hell?" Jack asked, disturbed by the Major's reference to the as-yet uninvented Dualshock controller.
"I mean, errrm, climb up the side of that tree! Yeah, let's go with that... What was I talking about, I mean, 'Action button!' It's positively crazy! Hah, haaaaaa..." Jack stood where he was, a look of complete confusion on his face. He shook his head this time, and began climbing up the tree, whilst, ironically, the player controlling him did press the Action button.
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Jack grabbed his bag whilst flipping over the branch, spinning and generally just showing off to nobody in particular. Jerk. When he reached the mossy ground again, he crouched down on one knee and stuck his finger into his ear. He then screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Jack was relatively new to this whole 'radio' thing, and had stuck his ear in a little too far. As he pulled it out, it brushed across his lower intestine and right brain. Jack promptly passed out.
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He woke up a few minutes later to the sound of Chute-Doctor calling his name, loudly.
"Jack. Jack? JACK! JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" she cried. Jack sat up and spoke back to her.
"I still don't get why you do that," he commented angrily.
"That's great, Jack! You're alive!" Jack heard the sound of feet running over the floor, and then heard voices in the background.
"Major Nought, Jack's alive!" Our hero then heard the sound of a newspaper being shut and somebody standing up.
"I thought I could have just one minute's peace, but no." The Major's unmistakable voice sounded strange, like he was eating something.
"And stop eating all of the Digestives!" Chute-Doctor hissed. Jack couldn't see it, but Nought made a 'W' sign with his hands, and mouthed 'whatever' at the young woman. As he strode back to the microphone, Jack stood up and surveyed his surroundigs. He saw a green frog sitting in a nearby tree, and walked up to it. It grinned at him, mockingly.
"Laugh at me, you sonnova..." Jack muttered, and punched the little critter right in the face. It made a squeaking noise and rocked back and forth. Jack, shocked at his opponent's resistance to pain, continued to puch the Kerotan until his right arm was exhausted. He then did the same with his left, but still the froggy stood. Defeated, Jack squatted down on the floor and started actually listening to his Major's briefing.
"So, Jack, your codename for this mission will be Naked Cake," the Major was saying.
"Uh, why?"
"Well, because you've got no equipment on you except all of those guns and camouflage sets in your backpack. You're naked, Jack like a ghost."
"And the Cake bit?"
"I like cakes. Happy?" Nought asked patronisingly. Jack, who we'll now refer to as Cake, was just opening his mouth to form the word 'no' when the Major continued.
"As for your support team, you've already met Chute-Doctor." There was a burst of static, and CD cut in, and squawked,
"Peace inj, peace out!" before the Major resumed the briefing.
"Yes, you know her... And I think you'll be very pleased to see our combat specialist... I'll put her on..." There was more static, but then Cake heard a very familiar voice.
"Hey Jack, d'ya remember me?" came the softly spoken question.
"L- L33t..." Cake choked. His old mentor, T3h L33t, hadn't seen him for ages.
"How long has it been, Jack?" she asked coolly.
"I'm not so sad I count the time between us!" Cake scoffed.
"No really, how long?" T3h L33t asked seriously.
"Damn..." Cake cursed under his breath, before telling her. "It's been two years, four months, eleven days, three hours and one, two, three, four-"
"Stop counting the seconds!" t3h L33t shouted, before being her voice down to its' previous decibel level. "Sorry..."
"S'Okay", Cake said quietly, hurt. There was more static, and the Major's overly-loud voice could be heard again.
"T3h L33t will give you information on combat techniques, such as RCF." 'Really Close Fighting!' Cake thought, grinning at his memories of he and T3h L33t perfecting it together.
"This mission will be called the Virtuous Mission," the Major said, interrupting our hero's reminiscence.
"What does that mean?" Cake asked, yet again confused by the whole ordeal.
"It means, basically, well-meaning mission," Chute-Doctor cut in rudely.
"Then I'll call it that!" Cake declared happily, and before any of his support team had any time to respond, he was standing up, the silenced Mk22 tranquilizer pistol from his bag in his hands, and a serious look on his face.
"Commencing Well-Meaning Mission... Now..."