Esme's POV

"Hello Charlie." I smiled as he came up the steps holding the tiny girl. He grinned at me.

"Hi Esme. How's your morning been?"

I shrugged. "Edward overslept so Carlisle had to run him to school rather than let him take the bus."

Charlie chuckled. "That sounds about right. I have those problems with Emmett. I'm dreading when they get to be teenagers."

Bella turned and smiled at me. "Esme!" she crowed, reaching her arms for me.

I smiled and took her from Charlie. He handed over a small pink backpack that I knew held a change of clothes and a couple of Bella's favorite toys. She usually had her favorite doll, Julia, clutched to her chest but today Julia was noticeably absent. "Where's Julia, sweetheart?" I asked.

"She had to stay home today. She has diarrhea." Bella said it so gravely I fought back the smile that threatened to take over.

"Well, that's a good thing then. We don't want you getting sick, too."

Bella smiled and squirmed to get down. I set her down and she ran inside to play with the toys the boys wouldn't let her near when they got home. I looked up at Charlie and raised my eyebrows. "Diarrhea?"

He laughed and shook his head. "I'm not sure where she heard that, but she's been using it quite a bit."

I grinned. "Well, ok then. Anything I need to know before you go?"

He shook his head. "No, she's fine. She didn't eat much for breakfast, so make sure she eats. She's so little…is that normal?" he looked past me in concern.

I laughed. "We're just used to boys who eat and run and play like wild children. She's fine, Charlie. Carlisle would say something if he had any concerns, you know that."

He nodded but still looked skeptical. "Well, ok. Take care of her for me Esme."

I smiled. "I always do."

"Goodbye, Bella," he called past me.

A little blur came running, throwing herself at Charlie and wrapping her arms around his legs. "I love you Daddy," she beamed up at him.

Charlie grinned and scooped her up, kissing her on the neck. "I love you too, Bella."

They kissed on the lips then. "Wow, sweet, chocolate ice cream, Grandmother's apple pie," Charlie laughed. Bella grinned at him.

"And cimanon toast!"

He grinned. "Yes, and cinnamon toast." He kissed her again and put her back down. She ran back inside and he watched her with pride. He smiled at me. "Thanks again, Esme."

I nodded and headed inside, pulling the door shut behind me.

I knocked on the door. I felt bad for not being here last night when Bella got in. She shouldn't have had to come home to this cold empty house, but I couldn't change that now. Bella answered it, her hair wild around her face and smiled.

"Esme," she breathed, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're here."

I smiled and hugged her back. "I just wanted to talk to you about a couple things. Do you have time?"

"Sure." Bella smiled and stepped back. "Sorry the place is a mess. We aren't that neat."

I laughed. "I raised Edward and partially Emmett, remember?"

She grinned and motioned to the couch. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

She sat down on the couch next to me. "So how's everything?"

I sighed. "Well, obviously could be better. I wanted to talk to you about your dad."

"Ok." Her posture changed slightly.

I took her hand in mine and rubbed the back of it. Her hands were so tiny, they were like a child's hands. "I saw your dad the afternoon he died. We ran into each other at the diner and had lunch." She swallowed hard.

"How was he?"

"He was fine. He was so excited that you were going to be home in a couple of weeks, even if it was just for the weekend. He was telling me about some of the things you were going to do together. He was telling me about your boyfriend, Mike. Bella, sweetie, he was so proud of you and everything you're doing with your life."

Her face crumpled and she closed her eyes, fighting back tears. I reached up and smoothed her hair away from her face.

"He loved you so much and talked about you all the time. I never wondered what you or Emmett or Jasper were up to because he'd always tell me."

She nodded, her eyes red rimmed. I reached over and pulled her close to me. I'd always wanted a daughter and after being told Edward was the only child we could ever have, I'd basically adopted Bella as my daughter. She leaned into me, crying softly. I rubbed her back because I didn't know what else to do. I wished I could take her pain away but I knew that I couldn't, that only time would make this not hurt so much.

After a while, she sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. "Thank you, Esme." She wiped her eyes and gave me a wobbly smile. "I know he was proud of us, but it's still nice to hear."

I smiled back. "He was always so concerned about you. When you'd come over to my house in the morning before school, he always told me to make sure you ate because you were so tiny and he was scared you'd get sick. And he'd always tell me to take care of you. Every morning, those were the two things he said to me. And he'd always give you a kiss goodbye."

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I remember that. We had a chant for that, about how sweet they were."

I nodded and patted her leg. "Now, what can I do around here to help you three out? Is Emmett here?"

She shook her head. "No, not yet. He's going to try to get here before the service."

"Ok." I nodded and stood up, surveying the room. "Well, I can see that my task is going to be cleaning up the house."

Bella laughed at the sudden change in topic. I didn't mean to be so abrupt, but I had to do something. Bella and I were alike in that we didn't like to sit idle for long periods of time. She pulled out the cleaning supplies and we worked slowly, starting in the kitchen and moving through the living room and into the tiny room where Bella's piano was. I wondered if Bella would ever play again; Charlie had been the main reason she played in recent years.

We dusted and vacuumed and cleaned the house within an inch of its life. Bella looked a little more content when we finished and I made us some sandwiches using some of the chicken I found in the refrigerator. We ate in quiet companionship, sitting at the small table.

Bella's POV

I was so relieved to see Esme standing on the doorstep. I'd really missed her. I wished again, like I had so many times as a kid, that she really was my mother. Renee wasn't bad, she was just more concerned with her own life than with anything else. She'd been too busy saving the world to put dinner on the table most nights and had eventually left Dad to go save orphans in Africa. Jasper had only been 2 at the time, but Emmett and I were 12 and 7 and we knew what we were losing. It was made even more obviously painful by the fact that Esme was the one who watched us after school until Dad could get us.

I watched Esme drive off, waving again as she backed onto the street and headed to the white house with the black shutters I loved so much. I already missed her. I turned and walked into the small room with the piano. I could see Dad standing in the doorway, making goofy faces at me, trying to break the frown off my face as I scowled at the music I so hated.

"Don't smile, it'll make your face crack into a million pieces."

I turned and grinned automatically at Jasper. He ran his fingers through his hair and studied the small room. "Did you sleep ok?" After our late lunch, he'd gone back up and back to bed. I didn't want to do anything but sleep, either, but I'd gone to see the funeral home and made the arrangements while he napped, only just getting home when Esme arrived.

He shrugged and settled onto the little chair in the room where my teacher had sat. "Ok. I had a dream that this was all a dream. I woke up and when I saw what time it was I nearly shit a brick, thinking I'd overslept and was late for school."

I nodded and sat on the bench, facing him. "Do you want to go to school?" I asked curiously. I didn't particularly want to go myself, but maybe having something like that as a distraction would be good.

He picked at the hem of his shorts thoughtfully. "No, not really. I was doing ok in my classes, I don't think I'll fail if I don't take the finals."

I nodded. "Well, I've called and spoken to the school. You'll still have to take them, but you can take a week or so off first."

He was quiet. "So are you going to play something or what?"

I chuckled softly. "Maybe. I don't know. What should I play?"

He rolled his eyes. "Dad's favorite, of course. How many times did he play that damn song anyway?"

I laughed. "One hundred, remember? 'If I can play it 100 times, I'll know it.'" I grinned. "It was total bullshit. He still sucked at it."

He snickered. "You should play it at the service, Bells. He'd like that."

I nodded, a lump in my throat. "I'm not sure if I could," I said honestly.

"I'll sit with you if you think it'll help."

I smiled. "I'll see if I can pick out the notes. I'm not sure where the music is, to be honest."

He shrugged. "Esme will have it. She taught lessons for years and any piano teacher worth her salt will have that, right?"

I laughed. "Yeah." I turned around on the bench and carefully lifted the lid over the keys and lovingly stroked them. I missed playing more than I'd admit to anyone. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye as Jasper joined me on the bench.

I lifted my hands and carefully put them in place. I knew this song better than anything else: I'd heard it probably thousands of times once Dad had gotten it into his head to learn it. Jasper's arm wrapped around my waist as I slowly started picking out the song. I stumbled through it, finally stopping when I got to the one page I'd never been able to memorize. We sat in silence, letting the last of the notes hang heavy in the air.

"People will know when I fuck up," I said finally, my voice husky.

Jasper shrugged. "If they know us they won't say anything. If it bothers them, fuck 'em."

I grinned and wrapped my arm around him. "You'll sit with me?"

"Hell yes."

"Then we need to get the music so I can practice."

***

Tali: So, I actually had a doll named Julia (she's upstairs in bed right now) who suffered from repeated fits of diarrhea when I was a child. When she was well enough, she'd go to daycare or even school with me. I think I took her up til like, 2nd grade. I was an odd child. The woman who watched me when I was really little is like my second mom and the day after my dad died, my mom and sister and I came home from running around town making arrangements and she was there. I assumed she was there for my mom since they're really good friends, but her whole point was to tell me basically everything that Esme tells Bella and Esme's memory: my dad was always concerned that I wouldn't eat enough and asked her to make sure I was ok. He saw her the day before he died as he was dropping my nephews off at school where she was the headmistress and talked her ear off for about 30 minutes about our 4th of July plans and how excited he was that my husband and I were coming and how even though he was ready for us to have kids, we weren't there yet. I can definitely see him telling her all that, moving his hands animatedly, his eyes wide and a big grin on his face. We also chanted those exact words (minus cinnamon toast, though sometimes whipped cream and sugar were added...we're weird people) every time we kissed, the last time being right before he walked me down the aisle. Even at 24, I wasn't too embarrassed to kiss my dad on the lips and I hope that my daughters and nieces will have that same love for their daddies.

My dad had a beloved classical piece (named in the next chapter) that he was convinced if he played it 100 times, he'd know it. I got so frustrated listening to him, I'd hide the music so he got a CD with the song on it and he'd play it over and over. He never did really quite get it.

This is REALLY hard to write, and I'm impressed I've actually gotten as much written as I have. Thanks to everyone reading and especially to reviewers. It means a lot to me that this story is viewed as something special to people other than me (or something like that)...lol Another question: do you want more explanations about the memories? I can leave that out, for sure.