Just Leave Me Chapter 3: Desire, a glee fanfic

A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful comments and encouragement! It definitely helps me want to write faster And now, the reveal. Or is it?

Chapter Three: Desire

Julian sat at the piano, just resting his head, trying to wrap his head around his feelings. This had to be the worst brand of torture. He was used to quitting- to running away. To playing the role of the rich, famous lackey of the school jerk. But no one really got who he really was. Even Derek, who knew his motivation, didn't understand what it was like.

And no one understood Logan either. Both of them played parts so well. Logan played the senator's perfect son. He knew that Logan couldn't properly come out. To some extent, Julian couldn't either. His publicist knew that Julian was flexible, but urged him to suppress it as their greatest revenue was from his fans.

And that was what had attracted Julian to Logan in the first place. They were both lost inside.

It didn't hurt that he was beautiful either. Julian sat up, his fingers brushing the tempting ivory keys.

Working with him this way was going to kill him. Knowing every note would always be for Kurt, seeing that excited glint in Logan's eyes just thinking about him. The same one Julian had gotten so long ago when he was around Logan.

Julian thought about Logan, his blonde hair falling ever so slightly into his eyes. Julian wanted to run his fingers through his hair as they kissed, feeling it fall silkily through his fingers. Julian sighed.

His fingers hit a few notes hesitantly. Maybe he'd mess around. He hadn't played piano in weeks…

Logan was at the other end of the building, about to step into the howling cold February weather when the Tweedles appeared out of nowhere. Logan recoiled just the slightest, his reaction visibly not as deterred as it would have been if he had been medicated.

"Someone hasn't been taking their medication," Ethan said to his brother, tutting audibly. Evan pretended to disapprove and then looked over at Logan with a big grin.

"Should we tell Kurt?" Evan replied. Logan's eyebrows furrowed. They were being their normal, frustrating selves.

"I haven't gotten around to it today, as a matter of fact, but I plan on taking my pills. I don't think Derek would allow me outside of the Stuart House for long without taking them." Logan stated defensively.

The twins just looked at him knowingly. Ethan spoke, "We don't hate you, you know."

"That much." Evan added quietly.

"We've known you forever, so we know you a bit better than most of our Windsor fellows." Ethan finished.

"Then why make me suffer whenever you can?"

"Why do you make you suffer? Sometimes things are simple." Evan said.

"And sometimes things are complicated!" Ethan continued.

"And sometimes things are so complicated- they're simple!" Evan concluded.

"You know, I've always hated it when you do that."

"Just making a statement." They said in unison.

A piano could be heard in the distance. Someone playing. Julian? He had probably gone. Possibly another way. What if it was Kurt?

Logan looked up at the ceiling, then back down. The Tweedles had vanished. All their lives, they had been perfecting that Cheshire act. The piano continued. Outside, the wind howled louder. Logan found himself following the piano, more on a whim than anything else. As he walked the halls, the echo of the piano keys got louder. At first they were just playing arbitrary chords and notes, but slowly the person playing got more confident.

Logan drew nearer, and propped the door to the Hall open just a tiny crack. The player was playing more rhythmically now. The beginning to a song, thought Logan. He peered in to watch Julian playing intensely, his fingers sliding along the keys easily. Sounds familiar…

Julian's left hand played a staccato rhythm while his right played out some chords. This song was perfect. A small smile played over his lips and he started to sing.

I know you've suffered
But I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless
I won't let you be denied

Logan knew this song. It was a tender version, almost, without the throbbing beat behind the melody, but the way Julian sang it… it was almost applicable…

Soothing
I'll make you feel pure
Trust me
You can be sure

Logan had never heard Julian play like this. He was putting everything he had into it, his voice so smooth and meaningful. The piano's crescendo was almost violent as the song went into its chorus.

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Logan watched as his friend continued, the lyrics becoming more and more confusing. Julian was so focused that he didn't even notice that the door was halfway open by now as Logan looked on in shock.

You trick your lovers
That you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine

Julian played and sang his heart out, his eyes closed in concentration as he focused on the lyrics and the melody. He meant every word, and it showed.

Please me
Show me how it's done
Tease me
You are the one

Logan watched as Julian's piano playing became more intricate and his voice became more enthusiastic. Who was he singing about? This wasn't just a song picked from thin air. Julian really connected with this song- that much was plain to see.

Julian's piano became softer after that chorus, building up to something. His voice was soft, too. Soft… meaningful. Logan had never seen Julian this involved and emotional with anything…

Please me

Julian gave everything to that note, putting his need into it.

Show me how it's done
Trust me
You are the one

Logan stepped cautiously into the room as he went into the final chorus, the loudest of them yet. Logan's thoughts buzzed and whirred as he tried to explain his friend's frankly odd behavior. The same question, over and over.

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

Whose?

I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask

Julian, who made you like this?

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

What past? Whose?

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Julian played a few more resounding chords and then let the final chord ring throughout the room. He sighed heavily without opening his eyes, his face almost red from the effort of singing that intensely. Logan took a few more steps forward, silently, and then Julian looked up. Both boys froze as they looked at each other. Logan with concern, Julian with shock. Julian's hand went to his mouth, as if he had done something completely awful in front of Logan.

It hit Logan like a train. His expression changed.

Oh.

Julian grabbed his things and ran before Logan even had a chance to recover.

A/N: Song was Undisclosed Desires- Muse.

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