A/N Sorry so long on the update.. my internet has been sketchy at best.. and This isn't exactly what I wanted ..and it's a little wordy.. any suggestions would be fantastic.. I was just passing the time waiting on my internet to come back.. it's still not steady but I'm going to try and post this for you guys anyway... Thanks DogLady for reviewing you are amazing and I don't know how I was so lucky you found my little section of ! 3

I hope it's not too sucky lol

-Swlfangirl

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When Dean opened his eyes he was laying on his memory foam mattress in the bunker but everything looked different. His awesome swords were no longer hanging on the wall. The dresser was now replaced with a closet. How did that happen? He rolled over the bed empty beside him, if he didn't know better he'd swear he just woke up from a dream and none of it had actually happened.. but if there was one thing he knew, it was that Castiel touched his forehead and wherever, whenever he was.. would have something to do with them being together.

He didn't have to think about it for too long because less than a minute later the angel walked into the room and climbed on top of him. He was wearing nothing but a thin pair of pajama pants, his dirty sex hair, and a gorgeous smile. Dean got hard almost instantly. He was confused but there was something about Cas being on top of him that managed to break through that confusion slammed straight into lust.

"Mmm...Good morning to me, it seems."

Castiel was grinding against him and he nearly came from contact alone.. What the hell was happening to him? He was a skilled and experienced lover, he prided himself on his stamina and sexual prowess, and yet every time the angel was involved he felt like a fucking teenager all over again.

"Cas...Castiel STOP!"

That got his attention. He stilled looking confused at Dean for just a moment, and then it was like a light bulb went off.

"I'm sorry Dean, just a minute.. I need to call Sam."

"Um, okay Can't I call him?"

"Nope... I'll do it be right back."

Okay well it's official, Cas was acting even more strange than normal.

Castiel texted Sam instead, afraid of being overheard... one word .. just one...

"Destiny."

Sam immediately texted back.

"I'll be there to get her in five, won't make a sound."

Cas smiled and hurried himself back to the bedroom, doing everything he could to be as quiet as possible.

"So, today's the day I guess."

"What do you mean "the day?" I just know you put your fingers on my forehead and I woke up here... Is this.. Is this the future?"

Castiel huffed and made his way to sit beside Dean on the bed.

"It's not that simple Dean, it's just like when Zachariah sent you to 2014... it's a possible future.. its one of many actually. I will say that I did the best I could to map out the most probable one.. that is .. if you come to accept your feelings."

"Okay so tell me what our lives are like.."

Dean sat up and leaned in, a clear sign that he was interested in knowing all the details.

"It's not that easy.. I want to explain some things to you.. I didn't tell myself..well the old me whatever.. I didn't tell him/me that I was going to do this, but in all honesty I think it's the best chance I have to make sure this is the reality that comes to pass.. I quite enjoy my life as it is, I'd hate to see something else happen because Dean Freaking Winchester is too stubborn to have a "Chick flick" moment."

Dean jerked his head back like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You lied to yourself? How is that even possible?"

Cas just smiled at him and shook his head. This new Cas was definitely more in touch with his human parts.

"Your Cas is quite naive, and I'll give him credit where it's due.. it's one of the things you fall in love with.. but I'm not quite so ... hopeful. So here's what we are going to do.. I'm going to give you every single fact that I can about what you need to know, and you're going to go back to your Cas, and you're going to tell him how much you love him and how important he is.. because that's what needs to happen. So any questions need to come now...I don't want to waste all day, I'd really like to have my Dean back, it's better when he doesn't freak out because I wake him up for morning sex."

Castiel smiled just knowing what it would do to Dean to know that what happened was a regular occurrence. Even the hunter who might be having some sort of gay/not gay identity crisis would appreciate the fact that he got sex on the regular.

"Um, I don't really know what to ask.. I guess just tell me what you need to say. I'll do my best not to hurt either of you. Honestly, I never meant to hurt you, or well the old you... but I didn't know what to do and when I came back you weren't there and then it just escalated.. I got pissed and you know how stupid I can be when I'm pissed. Anyway, I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it."

"Dean, I don't know how to say this... Just please remember that you are here for a reason and I'm doing my absolute best to inform you of everything I could possibly tell you.. okay?"

"Yeah, go for it."

Castiel put his hand on his hunter's arm where there used to be a likeness burned into the flesh. He smiled before moving away again.

"When I took a vessel I made the choice to take a male body..my superiors felt that if I had a female vessel I would be able to influence you more successfully. I secretly worked to make sure the only female vessel I had access to purposefully resisted me, it was foolish and actually ended up costing her life, but I did not want to use her to "make you my bitch." As you would say. I spoke to her as Jimmy Novak and warned her that something (not very nice) would want her to give permission for it to use her body in service of God, but in fact was allied elsewhere.. This was not my first but my second rebellion. You see Dean, I've known for years that we were meant to be together.. actually I should restate that.. I've known since the moment I touched your soul in hell that you would be mine and I yours."

He paused for a moment collecting himself and giving Dean time to absorb the information he was being fed.

"Dean my first order.. the order to save you.. it wasn't... I disobeyed... I received the order to kill you.. I was told you would bring about the apocalypse.. that you would start it, and that if you left hell Lucifer would walk upon the earth for all eternity. When I waged war against the demons.. it was to kill you, not rescue you. My brothers and sisters told me that the demons of hell were training you to be the number one demon, that you would become Lucifer's general. You must remember at this time I'd never disobeyed an order, I'd never had a single solitary thought or emotion of my own. I was a robot, a bad-ass demon smiting robot but still a robot."

He did his best to form a smile to lighten the conversation if only for a second.

"I saw a light, a bright light in the depths of hell. Do you know how rare that is? I followed that light, I knew I shouldn't, I should be looking for you but I couldn't help myself.. it was like I was being drawn to it.. When I finally found it.. I was shocked into stillness. It was your soul.. your human soul in hell shining brighter than those of any I'd ever seen on earth. That was the moment I decided that no matter my fate, you were to be saved and I'd do anything necessary to see that you were protected."

"When I touched your soul it reacted in a way I didn't expect. It collided with my grace, you would call it.. hugging.. it hugged me tightly. I'd never seen a soul do that before. I'd touched millions and millions of souls, gently guiding them.. helping when I could.. It was a one-sided thing.. it wasn't until I held your soul that I'd ever been.. hugged back. I finally managed to get your soul stitched back inside your body, it stole some of my grace in the process but It was a willing sacrifice. I had to return to heaven and face my actions. I wanted to come to you straight away and tell you what happened but instead my superiors spent some time "re-conditioning me." I didn't know this until much later. It was after that, they planted the idea that I was meant to save you in my head.. That you were the Righteous Man and you were going to stop the apocalypse. They could not see your soul, but they knew by the way I spoke of it during the torture they bestowed upon me. That it was different, that you were different. They didn't know until you saved the town where Sam Hael was raised, that you were indeed the Righteous Man. They'd only guessed. I know this is a lot to take in. Do you want a drink or something?"

Dean's heart was jumping in his chest he wasn't sure what to make of any of it. The whole thing seemed to be surreal like it was a different life. All these things were years ago and yet when Cas spoke of them it was like they happened only yesterday. He needed to get through this and a drink would be awesome but he wanted to be as clear headed as possible, wait till he'd heard it all before getting utterly shitfaced.

"No just, keep going.. I'll save it for when you're done."

Castiel nodded and continued.

"I was re-programmed several times after that, they didn't understand how I could break the coding. How I could disobey. It took so many mistakes, so much time wasted thinking I was protecting you.. or that I was doing what was right.. to teach me the true lesson. All I ever needed was you, you keep me right, you keep me just.. you are The Righteous Man. I'm not saying you've never made a mistake, of course you have you're human.. but had I spent my entire rebellion following you like I did during the end.. averting the apocalypse as only a Winchester can do.. I would have had a much more enjoyable few years between then and now. However the past is the past and I can't dwell there. I just wanted you to know that even now your Cas has figured that out.. it took far too long but he's done it."

Dean nodded unsure of what to say really..His brain hadn't even processed all of it yet.. and it seemed there was even more.

"Dean...I want you to know something, that your Castiel would not want me to say. He'd wouldn't want to influence your decision, he wouldn't want to feel like you were pressured into expressing your love for him. But being a little more aware of things myself, I think I should tell you. We are soul-mates Dean Winchester.. I was made for you. My father..he created me with a purpose in mind. It was to save you, and to then fight beside you ... making sure that you had every advantage he could offer during such a dreary time for humanity. He is the one who brought me back to that cemetery in Lawrence, and he did it as a Thank You to both of us for a War fought well.

He has resurrected me time and time again, certainly when I did not deserve it, ONLY because of your value and your Righteousness. You've spent years lying to yourself about how unimportant,.. how mediocre you are, how hunting is the only thing you do that is worthwhile. I'm here to tell you otherwise. I'm living proof and so is your Castiel. I know it's not been easy, nothing in your life was ever easy.. but Father wanted you to be loved. Despite what you believe, he knew you were worthy of being saved.

This is where the guilt might play a part... Dean, If you do not choose to love me, to be with me, to let me in..I think you should know that I will spend the rest of my days loving you anyway..I will never love another soul. It's not possible for me to. When your life is over, no matter when that is..If you haven't accepted this..Your heaven will be without me.. and my heaven.. will not exist."

He paused like he didn't want to continue and Dean could feel his heart breaking as he said the following words.

"I will not exist."

Dean responded with a quick jerk of his head.

"What do you mean you won't exist? You mean you'll die?"

"No Dean, I..I will disappear. You will not remember me, Sam will not remember me.. I will be lost in the universe. For where is the place of an Angel who rebels against heaven, a soldier without a purpose, a lover unloved, and a friend forgotten?"

"Well that's bullshit.. is it that way with all soul-mates or is it just our craptastic luck involved?"

"Dean, the only reason I'm telling you this.. is because you have shown me the extent of your love and I want so badly for you to understand how much your Castiel desires it, needs it, cannot live without it. If for one second I thought that the you that I'm talking to doesn't feel exactly the same as the one I went to bed with last night, I wouldn't have said anything..But I know you Dean Winchester.. I know you and I know you love me.

Please Remember, this is only one possible future. There are billions of others. There are some where I'm dead.. and when I say dead I mean like dead dead... not coming back ever dead. Some where I'm human, some where I'm an angel. Some where you're dead, even some Sam doesn't survive. There are even a very few universes, in which you no longer hunt. You're content to retire and live your life waking up in the same bed with the same man you feel like you've always loved. You need to understand that all these things are possible. I cannot promise that if you go back to that Castiel of your time and you share your deepest most secret emotions, that you will make it here.. He could very well die the next day, or you could, or Sam could.. I'm only saying this because you really do need to understand. I know you think you get it.. but I need you to REALLY get it! If you do not go back and tell him exactly how you feel about him..I can promise that no matter how long either of you survives.. you will regret it.. You could spend the next week or the next 50 years pining after a man you could have shared your life with. If you'd gotten over the fact that he was, indeed a man. That's pretty much all I can say.. I don't know anything else that will convince you that this is supposed to happen, in EVERY reality.. EVERY SINGLE ONE. He loves you Dean, He loves you and you love him.. Don't make him wait any longer."

Before Dean could even open his mouth to say anything he was pulled back into the chair at the bar looking into the deep blue eyes of his Angel.