Kathryn looked at the table before her and suddenly realized how hungry she was. She may be good at skipping and avoiding meals, but once you placed food in front of her all bets were off. She eagerly began to serve herself and Chakotay simply watched with a smile toying at his lips.

Once she was done, Kathryn sat back in her chair, crossed her legs, and picked up her wine glass.

"Chakotay that was absolutely delicious!"

"I am glad you liked it." He said with a chuckle.

During the meal they had talked nonchalantly about ship's business, eventually beginning to talk about the crew and the letters they had received. Kathryn had been eager to hear how everyone was doing since she realized she had kind of been absorbed in her own letter, and had failed to talk to many crew members about what they had received.

Chakotay stood, wine glass in hand and gestured for her to follow him over to the sitting room. Kathryn stood gracefully, looking much more relaxed than she had before, and went to join him.

Chakotay sat on one side of the couch and Kathryn sat opposite him, pulling her legs up onto the couch between them and curling up. Chakotay repressed a laugh as he watched her, she looked like a kitten snuggling into the couch that way.

Kathryn got comfortable and returned her gaze to Chakotay, she saw him looking at her and realized he had been staring at her, she blushed, embarrassed because…. well… she wasn't sure why.

Chakotay realized he had been caught when Kathryn turned from him and blushed, at that he actually chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing!" He said, raising his hands up as if to surrender.

"Well stop it!"

At that he laughed even more, a smile began to find its way to her lips as she watched him, realizing that it was a bit funny the way they were acting. It wasn't as if they had just met! They had had dinner together many times. 'And this dinner shouldn't be any different even if you aren't involved with Mark, he is your first officer!' Said a voice in the back of her mind. Another voice raised its head then and asked 'Why not? Why can't we be together, be happy… we could make it work.'

She shook her head and tried to ignore her inner argument, to distract herself and to prevent her from saying anything embarrassing she asked "So, tell me more about your letter Chakotay, did you hear anything from your sister?"

He could tell she wanted to turn their conversation back to safer territory and accepted the bait.

"Well, uh…" He reached up and absent-mindedly scratched the back of his head. "Well, Sekaya is doing well, she has a family, two kids and a good husband, she mainly just wanted to convey that she was safe and happy. She knew I'd be worried ha."

"I'm glad to hear that she is happy."

She looked at him and he still looked like he wasn't telling her everything.

"Chakotay what is it? You aren't telling me something."

He huffed a small laugh.

"It's nothing, she just had more questions for me than she gave me answers, and I don't have answers for all her questions. I am going to have to take a long time to think how to properly respond. A lot has changed since I saw her last, I am not the same man I was, I am her brother yes, but I just feel like there isn't an adequate way to convey everything I have learned and how I've changed."

He looked down at the floor then, leaning forward resting his arms on his knees and clasping his hands.

Kathryn's expression softened and turned to one of caring instead of concern.

"Chakotay, you don't have to fit everything into one letter. I promise I will get a more stable connection so you can speak to her more. I am sure she just wants to know that you are safe and happy."

He gave a half smile but kept looking at the floor.

"Are you safe, and happy?"

Chakotay looked up then, suddenly afraid he had given the wrong impression, sensing the hurt in her words.

"Oh Kathryn yes. I am happier than have ever been because I am at peace for the first time in my life. My sister doesn't know the man I am now, all she's ever known is an angry warrior that was constantly in need of more. Kathryn I don't want you to think for a second that I'm lacking in anything, being here with you…. and the crew, is all I could ever ask for."

She smiled then, relieved, and not missing the reference to his angry warrior story from so many years ago.

"I'm glad to hear you're happy Chakotay."

"Are you?"

The smile dropped from her face and she looked sharply at him.

"About what?"

"Just.. in general."

"Well that's a hard question…. are you asking if I am happy with what I am doing or maybe where I am in my life or…"

He cut her off.

"Just happy." He leaned forward and grabbed her hand then.

"Kathryn are you happy?" She looked at him with pain in her eyes and he saw his answer.

"Chakotay… I can't answer that."

"Why?"

"Because! It's too broad of a question." She stood then taking her hand away, he didn't miss the tears welling in her eyes. He heard her words, but knew that she meant she couldn't lie to him but she wasn't ready to let him see her feelings completely.

"I have the early shift, I should be getting to bed." He saw that she was done talking for the night and decided not to push, not tonight anyway.

He stood and faced her "Goodnight Kathryn." He picked up her hand again and gave it a gentle squeeze while trying to convey his feelings in his gaze. He then let go and walked out the door.

Kathryn stared after him, hand still extended out to where he had dropped it. She felt tears starting to fall and went quickly to her room.