Wait and Hope, by wedgegeck {wedgegeck [at] gmail [dot] com}
Chapter Three: Initiative
For a very long time, C.C. had thought that she wanted to die. Every person dear to her was false, bound to her first by her own Geass and then, later, by the power she granted. In her quest for companionship, she at last found it; Marianne and Charles gave her friendship with the promise of death. She wondered, now, which it was that had drawn her in: the death, or the friendship?
In the end, she did not choose death. In the end, Marianne's contract went unfulfilled. C.C. chose life over death, uncertainty over the absolute, the son over the mother.
Had she chosen a lover over a friend?
Lelouch had told her of her true wish, had guessed rightly the terms of his contract. True to form, he had taken the initiative and read beyond what she wanted to know of herself. That truth, though, had frightened her. She had seen betrayal more than once, first as a girl, harvested when ripe by the nun who gave her power, then again, when she was foolish enough to trust once more, as Marianne died under V.V.'s orders.
She had wanted to die because living had taught her that there was no trust, no faith, that went unbroken. Lelouch had changed that.
The same demeanor, the same nobility as his mother - piercing eyes and pitiless intellect. But he had love, had faith, where Marianne faltered. Lelouch, C.C. knew, had a kind of idealism that would shock those who thought they knew him; he believed that Nunnally's gentle world could be real, and made to last. Marianne and Charles had no such faith in humanity, and C.C. had none either, until Lelouch showed her otherwise. She heard his words as Zero, heard the conviction there that worked so well because it was no act.
She thought him foolish, thought his plan selfish; she pretended not to care as she began to believe otherwise. It was easy to convince herself to work with the Black Knights and Kallen, to get Lelouch's memory back. Easy enough, really, to fall back on her contract as a crutch. She had mocked Kallen for her false devotion to Japan, working for entirely selfish reasons. It was difficult to hide, difficult to deny, though, that she felt the same way. She suspected that Kallen recognized it. It took one to know one, after all.
When Lelouch came back to himself, C.C. had never expected to be jealous. She had never expected to feel such a thing again. Kallen drew those feelings out, though, made her a little less distant, a little more human, until Lelouch finally rejected her wish to die. After that, when Zero Requiem began, she would have followed him anywhere. The contract was not something she was ever to finish, she realized. Her wish had become considerably more complicated. She did not want death, and she did not want her humanity, precisely.
She wanted Lelouch.
When he fell to his death at Zero's hands, she was waiting. When he woke up in his sister's arms, C.C. had breathed a sigh of relief. When they departed, then left Jeremiah, finally alone, C.C. realized how much she wanted them to stay that way, alone, uninterrupted. Together. Her life was no longer her own - she had surrendered it to Lelouch.
Of course it was not to be so simple. He worked for Suzaku and Nunnally; they corresponded. C.C. could not have him all to herself, but it was close. And for a time, she was happy.
It was the intelligence work, something that he had found there, which served as the initial trigger. Lelouch drew away from his correspondence, drew away from his daily life. C.C. was sure he was drowning in the eternity which had so suddenly appeared before him, but she could do nothing to help. Her own joy withered as he kept her at arm's length. For the first time in a very long time, C.C. was afraid.
Not merely afraid, she was terrified: of herself, of losing Lelouch. Nunnally had noticed something, through her letters and Lelouch's; she wanted her brother to be happy. She wanted to know what was wrong. C.C. had wanted to scream, to cry out, anything to keep them away, to keep Lelouch by her side. If he returned to Nunnally and Suzaku, if he was happy there, what was left to her? What was she to him?
It was a sick kind of fear that pervaded her days, haunted her sleep. Then Nunnally had asked about Lelouch, and about Kallen. It had taken her a day to respond, to compose herself. She was calm, objective. Yes, Kallen had feelings for Lelouch. Yes, Lelouch suspected it. Yes, Lelouch had pushed her away deliberately, coldly. Yes, she might be happy if she could see him. Yes, C.C. had thought. He might be happy if she-
It was too much to consider. Shivering a little, she had sent her reply, and when Nunnally confirmed that Kallen would be told when she graduated, C.C. had asked for Sayoko to come to them. She was afraid of greeting Kallen herself, of having no one there to check her emotions. After so many years of resignation, she was boiling over.
Let Kallen come, she reflected. Let her come, to bring Lelouch out of his misery. Let her try. C.C. knew what he was going through, knew the terror of eternity in solitude. Kallen did not. She would come, and perhaps she would succeed, and perhaps not. Either way, in the end, it could only be the two of them, Lelouch and C.C.
In the end.
"Welcome, Kallen." Her voice was like cold honey. "Why are you here?"
She stood still, noticing Sayoko's disapproval out of the corner of her eye. Kallen looked angry, and tired. C.C. held her eyes in position, head tilted quizzically.
"I'm here to see Lelou-" Kallen began, but C.C. cut her off.
"Oh, here to see the boy, are you?" She waved over her shoulder as she turned away, facing the stairs. "Sayoko, please take those things to Kallen's room." She waited as Sayoko nodded her assent and moved away. C.C. looked over her shoulder at a seething Kallen. Their eyes met, and narrowed. C.C. looked away. "What are you going to do, Kallen? Ask him something, perhaps?"
"I'm here to tell him something, C.C. Where is he?"
C.C. ignored the question. "Are you quite sure," she moved toward the stairs and placed her right hand on the banister, "that you aren't planning to run away again?"
Silence.
"He left you out, you know, of Zero Requiem." She paused. "He did that for a number of reasons."
Neither of them moved. C.C. continued. "Do you want to know why?"
Nothing.
"You didn't stand for him, there on the Ikaruga. You were at his side, and you walked away." C.C. shut out the part of herself that said that she, too, had been hiding, had been afraid. "You're a joke of a knight! You didn't trust him. You never trusted him!" C.C. paused to draw a shaky breath. She whirled and faced Kallen again, her sardonic smile gone. "You never gave-" She stopped. Kallen met her eyes, not angry. Just an arrestingly tired, sad smile on her face. C.C. tried not to let the shock show on her own.
"C.C., take me to Lelouch." Kallen said softly. "I have something I need to tell him." She approached C.C. "I'm afraid, but I'm not running away."
The green-haired girl drew back and began walking up the stairs. Her voice fell back to a low, disinterested tone, as if she wasn't concerned, as if she didn't care. "Follow me, then, girl. I'll take you to him."
She led Kallen down the second-floor hallway to the larger billiards room which Lelouch had repurposed as an information center. She turned to Kallen, looked at her carefully set features, her hair disheveled after the long day of travel and worry. C.C. keyed the door lock off and turned around, leaned in to brush her lips against Kallen's cheek, an impulse which she was unable to rationalize. "Good luck," she whispered, low and heavy, and then walked off down the hallway before the redhead could say anything.
She could feel the jealousy and the frustration, but the tears welling in her eyes didn't seem related; maybe they came from the hope she felt, burning hot and hard in her chest after seeing Kallen's unexpected resolve. Hope for Lelouch. Hope for her.
Hope, frightening and alarming and disorienting, for a change.
C.C. stumbled into her own room and fell to the floor, eyes wide open, shivering.
Hope, she thought. Hope.
It was very dark. The room looked to be large, but she couldn't be sure exactly how large. Boxes of files covered much of the immediate floor by the doorway; over in the far-left corner she saw the dim glow of three monitors. It was deathly quiet, apart from the hum of the cooling equipment.
"He's stubborn, Kallen. I think he's afraid to love, and I think that C.C. is as well."
Kallen stepped in and put her hand to her cheek, felt the ghost of C.C.'s lips there. The door slipped silently shut behind her. She could see a dark figure in a small desk chair.
"Suzaku said we were being selfish. We are, Kallen. I wanted to tell you, to let you, at least, know that he was alive, but I don't know whether I would have, myself, if C.C. hadn't told us how he was doing, and mentioned you."
She could relate to that jealousy; C.C. had cut Kallen off at the knees on any number of occasions, showing off her own composure, her closeness to Lelouch, the trust that Lelouch felt for her. Kallen had wondered, at times, whether she hated C.C. She had wondered, or tried to wonder, what she felt about Lelouch.
"Will you go to him? I don't have any answers about Lelouch, or C.C., or what they're really feeling right now."
Nunnally's words echoed in her mind as she walked silently through the dark room, slowly, each step a little more hesitant than the last. She was right next to him now - was he lost in thought? Reading? Asleep?
Alive?
Lelouch was sitting before the monitors, an incomprehensible series of financial records, overlay maps, and dossiers spread out before him. His head was resting on his right hand.
He was sleeping.
Kallen smiled, brought her hand to her mouth, felt tears well up at the corners of her eyes. He's here, he's alive! He's really alive!
She waited a moment, watching him. She noticed deep circles under his eyes, disheveled hair. His brow was furrowed as he slept. Her smile dimmed, and she leaned over the desk to cover his left hand with her own. "Lelouch," she whispered, hesitant to break the silence. "Lelouch, wake up."
He started and shook his head, glancing at his hand, her hand, and then up at her face. Recovering himself, he blinked, looked again at her face. Kallen smiled. "Hello, Lelouch."
"Kallen!" He stood, knocking over his chair and a stack of files. He groped for a desk lamp, turned it on, and looked at her. "Kallen, what are you doing here?" He looked around, then toward the door. "Are you really here?" He sounded panicked.
She took his shaking hand in her own, and trembled a little. "It's me, Lelouch. I'm here. I'm here to tell you something."
Lelouch's eyes were open wide; he drew back his hand. "Kallen, you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't know I'm here."
She shook her head. "Nunnally told me how to find you."
"But, I wanted you to-" He started, but Kallen held up her hand to stop him.
"Lelouch." She looked into his eyes, made sure he was quiet. "I asked you before, 'what am I to you.' I've decided that I don't care."
Lelouch's mouth opened, closed. He didn't look away.
"I don't care, because I love you." She stepped closer. "I love you, Lelouch, and it doesn't matter what you feel about me. I'm not leaving you, ever again."
He looked at her, stumbled back a step. She saw tears in his eyes. "Kallen, no, not me, not me! You have to leave! I made sure you would be fine, once I was gone!"
"No!" He stood still, shocked by her tone as much as her suddenly fierce expression. "No," she said again, "you don't get to decide that. You can love me or not, but you cannot change my feelings, Lelouch." She smiled again, her features soft. She reached out her hand again. "I'm so glad you're alive. I'm so happy to be able to see you again." She sniffed, then cried, and threw herself into his arms.
Lelouch caught her, torn between fear and relief. He put his arms around her, shaking. He pulled her close, rested his head on her shoulder. "Kallen, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to be a part of it, never wanted you to have to make a choice like that."
Hearing that, she squeezed him tighter. "I know, but now I've chosen. I'll never leave you, Lelouch."
He held her silently for a few moments, enjoying the nearness, the warmth of her. The he tried to break the embrace. To his surprise, Kallen simply held him there, her greater strength keeping them together. "Kallen, I don't deserve-"
He was cut off by another squeeze, this one more threatening than kind. "Lelouch," Kallen growled against his chest. "What did I just tell you? This is not your decision."
She looked up at him. He caught himself staring, amazed by how clear her eyes seemed at this moment. He looked away. "I don't known what to say to you right now."
"You could say, 'thank you for caring about me, Kallen,'" she noted, her lips curving up a little. "Is that too much of a commitment?"
He smiled, at that, and her own smile lit up in return. "Thank you for caring, Kallen."
She broke off the embrace after a last squeeze and put her hands behind her back. "That's enough for now, then. I'm exhausted. So are you. Rest, and we'll talk tomorrow."
He glanced at his research, and she gave him a warning glare. "Rest, right." He nodded, then led the way out of the room. Sayoko was waiting in the hallway. Seeing the two of them, she smiled. "Lelouch-sama, will you be retiring early?"
He nodded at her. "Yes, Sayoko. I'll be awake and downstairs in the morning."
Sayoko smiled and turned to Kallen. Kouzuki-dono, please come with me and I'll show you to your room." She paused a moment.
"Good night, Lelouch." Kallen smiled warmly.
"Good night, Kallen." He walked away down the hall. Sayoko motioned her in the opposite direction.
Once she was situated in her own room - Sayoko had thoughtfully put her things away - Kallen fell onto the bed, trying to relax. She was not disappointed by Lelouch's hesitation. She had stood firm, and he had respected her decision. She was happy, and confident. Lelouch was alive, and she was with him. Whatever happened next, she would be there.
I'll never doubt you again, Lelouch.
Kallen rolled over and slept.
The next morning Kallen woke reassured by her unfamiliar surroundings. It had been no dream; Lelouch was here, and she was with him. Standing up, she blushed, thinking of her confession from the night before. She showered and dressed, wondering what she should do with Lelouch, and what she should say to C.C. Just as she had resolved to find C.C., she heard a light knock at the door.
"Kouzuki-dono, breakfast will be ready downstairs in a moment. Would you like me to show you the way?"
Kallen stood and opened the door to see a smiling Sayoko. "Good morning," she said, "where are C.C. and Lelouch?"
"Lelouch-sama is making breakfast, and the Mistress is with him."
Kallen looked a little shocked as Sayoko motioned her to follow. "Is that normal?" She inquired, a little hesitant.
"No, this this the first time he has done this since I came here, Kouzuki-dono. If you will pardon me, I believe that this is a good sign."
Kallen smiled hopefully.
Sayoko led her downstairs to a well-outfitted kitchen, where she saw Lelouch at the stove and C.C. sitting at the table, idly stirring a cup of coffee.
"You look pleased this morning," C.C. commented lazily.
"Good morning, Kallen," Lelouch said, not turning his attention away from the stove. "Please get some coffee and sit. Sayoko, please help me serve."
Lelouch set out an extra place setting for Sayoko, who bowed and sat down after helping him serve breakfast. Lelouch sat at the head of the table, took a sip of his coffee, and looked up. He looked better, not great, but more himself than the night before. He seemed collected, and a little better rested. C.C. eyed him as he examined his plate. Kallen noticed a red mark, not unlike a scar, very low near the nape of his neck; it looked like it was usually hidden by his collar, which was unbuttoned.
"Please, eat," he said calmly. Once the others had started, he ate as well. It was a good meal, quiet but for the clinking of utensils against stoneware. Finally C.C. broke the silence.
"What's the occasion, Lelouch?" She asked over her coffee.
Lelouch looked at her calmly. "Kallen argued convincingly, last night, that we needed to talk. After breakfast, we will." He looked to Kallen, who nodded, displaying a little nervousness.
"Is she staying, then." C.C. made it sound like a statement.
"That is for her to decide," Lelouch shot back. "We'll talk about it shortly."
Afterward, Sayoko remained hopeful as she cleared away the plates. "Lelouch-sama," she commented as she finished. "I have set up the library as you requested." She looked to him for approval. He nodded.
"Thank you, Sayoko." He rose from the table, the dark circles under his eyes the only false note in his imperious expression. "C.C., Kallen, follow me, please."
C.C. stood and looked at Kallen. It didn't feel like a threat, exactly, but she suspected that their meeting was to be far from comfortable.
Entering the library, Kallen noticed three chairs around a chess board. One chair faced black, the other white, and the third sat between them, facing the board from the side. The morning sun shone in through paneled windows. Lelouch guided C.C. to the intermediary chair, and gestured for Kallen to take white. He took a deep breath as he sat down before the black pieces, studied them silently for a few moments, and then looked up at the both of them.
"I have not been honest with either of you." He paused to let that sink in. Kallen looked confused - he had, of course, faked his own death, but what was he hiding from C.C.? The green-haired girl, for her part, looked at Kallen, then back at Lelouch, betraying no emotion.
Lelouch continued. "I want to play a game with you, Kallen. I want you to watch, C.C. We'll speak as we play - I don't know whether I can say what I need to, but I will try." He looked to both of them for confirmation. C.C. looked a little hesitant, but nodded. Kallen nodded, clearly perplexed. She was no great chess player, herself. She was familiar with the game, had played with Zero and with C.C. during her time with them in the Black Knights, but she was certainly nothing next to Lelouch. Why would he want to talk this way?
He looked at Kallen, visibly distressed, and folded his hands under his chin. "Kallen, play your best. Try to win. Trust me." He didn't smile, but she did, a little. C.C. frowned.
Kallen leaned forward to look over her white pieces, ivory to his onyx. She decided to play King's Pawn to open. She remembered a few openings, and this was the one with which she was most familiar. She did not expect to beat Lelouch, but if he wanted a game while he talked, she was going to do her best to give him one. She watched C.C.'s reaction as she moved and called out, "Pawn to King four."
Lelouch studied the board, his face impassive. He moved and called out, "Pawn to Queen's Bishop four." C.C. looked at him, then looked to Kallen.
"The Sicilian Defense," C.C. noted. "Textbook play for Emperor Lelouch?"
"There are only so many moves to make at one time," Lelouch stated. "Even when things seem open, knowledge of the choices, the obvious failures, hems you in from all sides." He looked up as Kallen made her next move, pawn to king's knight three. "You try to plan ahead, to see the future, to account for the most likely possibilities." He moved, pawn to king's knight three. "But doing that all the time makes you conservative, predictable."
Kallen frowned, then moved, bishop to knight two. Lelouch was being abstruse, but she supposed that he was having a difficult time making his point. Perhaps the game was there to give him a pattern, a means to focus.
C.C. considered the board, then considered her position. Referee? Audience? Or was she absentee, a non-competitor? She resolved to wait out Lelouch.
He matched Kallen again, bishop to knight two. "Mirrored moves, but an asymmetrical opening. If you forget the opening, it looks like you're going through the motions, no thought, no concern." He looked pained. C.C. watched, mindful of Lelouch's careful emotional distance from her. Kallen thought of him at his desk, startled out of sleep and ready to flee. He had never expected to see her again, she realized. Ever.
"Knight to King two," she announced, developing a knight to stand before the king.
"Knight to Queen's Bishop three," he responded promptly. C.C. leaned in closer. Kallen had surprised her, the night before. She had expected resistance, if not anger; instead, she got assurance. C.C. found herself respecting Kallen for it, which made her jealousy flare up all the more as she watched the game progress.
"Pawn to Queen's Bishop three," Kallen stated as she moved. She had been trying to secure the center with a pawn advance, and was trying to press forward, but she could already feel pressure. Lelouch's knight had covered her queen's pawn advance, perhaps. She wasn't yet sure.
"Knight to Bishop three," Lelouch called. Kallen swallowed. "When you lack the first move, when it is taken from you, you must recreate it. But you can never start over. Once you start moving, you keep moving. Those are the rules."
C.C. thought of Marianne's execution, Anya's possession. Kallen thought of Nunnally's crippling, then of Nunnaly's announcement of the Specially Administrated Zone. Taking back the first move, she considered, was both demanding and dangerous; when she had seen him, ready to retreat into Refrain, she had snapped, demanded that he stop. She thought of his eyes, empty, his mouth, a thin hopeless line across his face. "Won't you comfort me, then?" The words rang in her head, harsh and selfish. Had she made the right choice? She pushed him to be Zero, to be her Zero, her savior. A moment's decision, her own shame at the thought of him, at her own simultaneous arousal and fear.
"Knight to Rook three," she called, her voice betraying a little of her memory. C.C. looked at her sharply. A slow move, a knight one step behind to counter another. C.C. thought of Kallen on the Ikaruga, turning to the empty place where Lelouch had stood a moment before, shielded by the Shinkiro. It must have hurt her, just as Lelouch must have been hurt as she turned from him to Charles, told him that the contract was done. One step behind, nowhere to go. He must have been afraid, facing his father. And then he turned to yet worse things to supersede his father, to create himself as a villain.
And C.C. had helped, had watched him set up a resignation for himself, because that meant she would have him, and no one else.
"Pawn to Queen four," Lelouch said with a predatory gleam in his eyes. Kallen swore. He was one step ahead, at least. He had taken white's center and made it his own. She refused to just give it to him.
"Pawn takes Pawn," she noted the capture.
"Knight takes Pawn," came the immediate reply.
"Knight to Bishop two," Kallen moved to try and regain some of the center of the board before it was lost entirely. How had he done it so quickly? She thought back, reflecting on those early battles, on Zero's ability to acquire Knightmare Frames, to know people in the right places. It was Geass, she knew, but more than that it was Lelouch.
Geass, C.C. reflected, was never Lelouch's strength. She recalled rescuing him, giving him power in a time of weakness, but she could never read what he intended to do. Why had she been so quick to forget that, once they were on their own? Why did she cast Lelouch's newfound immortality as something different for him, but known to her? She chose to cleave to him despite her false wish, despite her claim that Geass would set him apart, isolate him. Did he see something here, now, that she did not? Or had her words pushed him to believe her own cynicism?
Lelouch wordlessly castled kingside.
Retrenchment, C.C. noticed. Care, conservatism once he gained the initiative. Not reaching out, not advancing. Are you afraid, Lelouch? She looked at him, trembled slightly. Are you afraid for me?
"Pawn to Queen four." Kallen hoped to take advantage of the turn Lelouch had used to castle, to move in while he built up his wall. She looked up, horrified, as she made the connection. She looked up at C.C., saw her sad eyes watching Lelouch's lonely king. C.C., is he pushing you away? Is he pushing you away to keep you safe, and not himself? She felt a deep sympathy for C.C., then. She caught the green-haired girl's eyes and said, "I'm sorry, C.C."
The ageless girl brushed away a tear, nodded gratefully. "Thank you," she said, surprised at her own honesty.
Still silent, Lelouch captured Kallen's pawn at queen four. He did not look up at the two girls, but kept his eyes focused on the game.
Kallen fought back, unwilling to yield the center. "Pawn takes pawn," she said, confirming another exchange.
"Bishop to Knight five," Lelouch spoke, and drew the piece across the board like an arrow. His voice sounded sad.
Kallen looked, and began to wonder how far he was planning ahead for her. She had interrupted the game, the night before. C.C. had helped. Had he already moved, incorporated her into his plan? Had she managed to change it? "Pawn to Bishop three," she decided.
"Bishop to Bishop four," came the counter, a retreat from her threat to his bishop.
But is that a retreat, C.C. wondered? Or was he drawing her out? She wasn't sure. Who was Lelouch speaking to with that move? Was he drawing her out, or Kallen? Or was it really a retreat, really a mistake?
It's not a mistake, Kallen thought as she glanced worriedly at her pawn row. "Knight to King three," she said, hoping to prevent the advance of the black bishop and hold the center. She wondered whether she had found his angle of attack in that bishop. His next move proved her wrong.
"Queen to Rook four, check. She has a long reach." Lelouch commented as he moved, his tone carefully even.
"Damn!" Kallen swore. As she looked, she saw that he had again preempted her. No matter her choice, she was going to lose a knight. She had forgotten the queen, hiding back there, waiting to strike. She remembered Luciano Bradley, holding Lelouch at bay until she arrived and changed everything. She had known an incredible pride on the battlefield, then, changing the whole balance of power with the Guren SEITEN. She crushed the Knight of Ten along with his Valkyries, rescued Lelouch. She was even ready to kill Suzaku. And then FLEIJA came, and Nunnally was lost.
Kallen remembered that bitterness, her own rescue forgotten, her achievements meaningless, the battle and Zero's command lost. What good was the queen when such a thing could happen? Kallen looked at Lelouch, saw the memory there. "Nunnally's fine, Lelouch. She's doing well. C.C. told her that you weren't happy." Lelouch looked over at the witch, who blushed and turned away.
"Thank you, C.C."
She was not sure whether to feel jealous or not, at the thanks for Kallen's presence. Somehow, knowing what Kallen saw in the queen's threat, she found herself warm, and not unhappy at all. "Of course," she replied, her even tone gone.
Kallen studied the board for a moment. "King to Bishop two," she announced. It was a retreat, but it left her own queen intact at least.
"Knight, Queen four, to Knight five."
"Knight takes Bishop," Kallen acted.
"Queen takes Knight," Lelouch responded.
"Pawn to Knight four," she threatened his queen after a moment of reflection.
C.C. thought of Kallen's capture, of Lelouch's determination, his inability to save her. She had been angry, then, but also a little pleased. With Kallen gone, she had hoped ... but of course things had not gone any way that she might have hoped. She had been a fool, then, jealous without admitting her own feelings. The girl, Shirley, she had been more brave than C.C., more accepting. She had rushed in to Lelouch and been killed.
Geass. Was it a curse, to Lelouch?
Kallen reflected too on her capture, on Shirley's death. She had lacked the presence of mind to be jealous, then. Shirley had been a hidden piece, taken on her own reveal. That must have hurt Lelouch more than she knew, perhaps more than she wanted to know. She asked anyway. "Did you love Shirley, Lelouch?" She tried not to sound as hesitant as she felt.
He stilled his hand over the board, and looked to C.C. first, who looked as if she felt guilty. "I only really knew it when she was dying. Then it was over." He sounded hollow. "Knight to Queen six, check."
C.C. listened to the open admission, the pain in his tone. It hurt her to hear it, just as she knew it must hurt Kallen. Did he cling to that, now? With Nunnally a world away, and C.C. carefully pushed to a safe distance? Was he afraid, again?
Kallen looked gloomily at her queen, who could remove the knight threat only to be taken out herself in the next turn by Lelouch's black queen. She chose to retreat instead. "King to Knight three."
How had she gotten here, running away up the board on the king side? How had Lelouch done it, when she had the first move, and his own king already castled? She was torn between frustration and admiration. He truly was a genius, on and off the chess board. She was not the only one who saw it, of course. Shirley had, and Milly, and Kaguya-hime. And C.C., she thought, looking at the other girl. Did she dare to ask such a thing, with C.C. present? Or had Lelouch already answered it?
C.C. watched Kallen's retreat and wondered. What had she said to him, what had she done, to make him open up in this strange way? Was it as simple as an unexpected move? Was that what she had lacked, a second piece to catch Lelouch?
"Knight takes Queen's Pawn," Lelouch commented.
How was she to respond? Her king's situation was only getting worse, and she suspected that she had no more than a few turns to live. Lelouch's offense had been a careful series of moves to gain the initiative and then guide her to her destruction. She thought back to Suzaku's words about the World of C, the way Lelouch went in with nothing and walked away with everything. And what had he ordered, with his Geass, there at the heart of everything? Live. That was his message to C.C., that was his message to Kallen. That was why he pushed them away, both of them. She looked up at C.C., saw understanding there.
"Knight takes Knight," Kallen said, unwilling to go down just yet. She turned to C.C. "I told Lelouch that I was staying, and that I love him." Lelouch made a small sound. C.C. stared. "Do you love him?"
C.C. looked at her, saw the resolve in Kallen's eyes, the challenge. Oddly, she felt happy; almost playful. "Of course I do," she scoffed, her blush undermining the dismissive tone. "Don't think his tricks will get rid of me, either." They both turned to Lelouch, smiling.
He drew his queen to the side. "Queen to King four, check." He looked at each of them in turn, then sighed, sounding exhausted. "I'm sorry. I tried to make the decisions for both of you." He stared down at the board. "I thought it would be better, safer, that way."
"Idiot," Kallen shook her head. She tipped her king over in resignation. "Strategies only work when they rely on people's hearts. People come through when you count on them." She looked at C.C., who seemed surprised to find herself nodding in agreement.
Lelouch thought back to Shirley's words of advice when he called about a marriage alliance with the Chinese Federation. Love is power! He rubbed his hand over his eyes, waited until he was certain he wasn't crying, and looked up. Both girls stared back at him, encouraging smiles on their faces.
It's a start, Lelouch thought to himself. Thank you, Shirley.
The game had been short, but all three of them felt tired. Sayoko entered with tea, silently observed them, and went away satisfied that all of them looked better.
Once she had gone, Lelouch spoke. "Thank you for listening, both of you." He smiled gratefully, then took a swallow of his tea. His eyes narrowed and the smile fell. "Kallen, C.C., there is something wrong with the material movement and financial situation here." He paused and folded his hands. "Something abnormal. I do not know yet what it is, but I suspect that the continued instability of the Northern EU is tied in, and connected with a single agenda."
"You think someone is trying to tear apart the peace?" Kallen exclaimed. "Why?"
"What would they have to gain by destabilizing the political situation?" C.C. inquired. "A single government helps the business of large interests, doesn't it? There is no large underground criminal activity at fault, is there?"
Lelouch sighed. "I believe that the money and material movement is being occluded by the political instability, not to make something illegal more profitable, but rather to conceal something else entirely." He looked worriedly at C.C. "Someone may know about Code."
C.C.'s eyebrows shot up. "Code? You mean someone is researching Geass?"
"I thought you removed all of those people in China," Kallen commented awkwardly, unhappily reflecting on the raid used against Lelouch by the Black Knights. "Is it someone else?"
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "It could be, but I doubt it. I suspect that they are aware, or at least suspect, that I may yet be alive." He looked at Kallen. "I think they believe that I stole C.C.'s Code and gained immortality." He grimaced. "I don't want them to come and find her." Lelouch caught C.C.'s eyes. "I'm sorry; I was afraid. I'd hoped that if they came, they would only come for me."
"And you would have let them?" C.C. was incredulous, and angry, and also a little pleased by Lelouch's concern.
"Of course not." He shook his head. "I've been working to make certain that my hypothesis is correct, to try to make sure you will be safe." He looked at Kallen again. "I'm afraid that you've chosen a dangerous time to come."
She smiled grimly. "I am your knight, Lelouch. I'm not going anywhere." She looked to C.C., who smiled softly and nodded. They both turned to Lelouch, who held up his hands to forestall a comment.
"Very well, I know better than to argue." He smiled wryly. "I'm glad you're here, both of you." He took a shaky breath and pressed the heel of his hand to his eyes. "I need to rest. We'll talk more, later. Thank you." He stood up and walked to the door. "Thank you both for listening, and for understanding." Neither C.C. nor Kallen spoke as he bowed deeply, then smiled tiredly and left.
Kallen drank her tea and looked over at C.C., who was studying the finished game before them. C.C. spoke first.
"He's an idiot, sometimes, isn't he?"
"Yes," Kallen agreed. "But I guess we're stuck with him."
"He's immortal, you know." C.C.'s gaze bored into her. "He'll never die. Can you stay with him, with us, knowing that?"
"I'm not leaving, C.C." Kallen folded her arms across her chest and frowned. "I love him."
"So do I."
Kallen sighed and closed her eyes. She opened them a moment later, curious. "Lelouch took the emperor's Code, right? To become immortal?"
C.C.'s eyes narrowed. She drew her legs into the chair and wrapped her arms around them. "Yes, partly."
"Are there any other Codes?" Kallen tried to sound less interested than she felt.
"There may be," C.C. replied evenly. "Why so interested?"
Kallen made a frustrated sound.
C.C. decided to let it drop. "Thanks for earlier, for calling me out." She paused. "Why did you want me to tell him?"
Kallen looked over, grinned. "I know what it's like to lie to yourself."
"Oh?" C.C. smiled, genuinely pleased. "I suppose we both do, at that." She twirled her hair idly and looked away.
"What do we do about Lelouch?" Kallen asked.
"I suppose that's his decision," C.C. commented. "I'm not leaving. Are you?"
"No," Kallen replied. "No matter what he decides."
"Or doesn't decide."
"Whatever," Kallen said, then stood, looked over at the window. "What's Oslo like, anyway?"
C.C. stood and stretched, making sure that Kallen watched her. She smiled like a cat. "Care to find out?"
Kallen cocked her head to the side, looked at the immortal witch appraisingly. It had been a long, strange morning for the both of them, and it looked like they were going to be stuck with each other as much as with Lelouch; recalling the months she spent with C.C. searching for a way to get Lelouch back, desperate, frightened, anxious, Kallen considered that things were far better now than they had been then.
And anyway, they were at least being honest with each other, jealousy included.
"Sure," Kallen said easily and walked toward the door. "Ready when you are."
C.C. walked out ahead of her, then on impulse turned and brushed a hand across the redhead's cheek. "Let's go, then." She walked on toward the entryway. Kallen placed her hand where C.C.'s had been, wondering, then shook her head and followed.
It was a beautiful day outside, after all.
That's it for chapter three - plot appears at last! For the record, the match is based on Potemkin (white) v. Alekhine (black), 1912, at least up until Lelouch's knight takes Kallen's queen's pawn. Please check my profile for a link to this chapter with diagrams for each move, if you're interested. Are you enjoying these characterizations of Kallen, C.C., and Lelouch? Please review, and let me know!
Thanks again for reading!
-wedgegeck