The Mouse of Konoha

by obsidian dreamer

Never underestimate the power of good advice. A few wise words into a pair of young ears leads a young would-be ninja to a decision; the Leaf will recognise him, but not as the fox... now separate from Win Some, Lose Some!

3. Chapter 3 More Mouse Tales

More Mouse Tales

A/N: Yeah, had this idea in my mind for a while now but just had to phrase it right – sorry it took so long but had a few medical niggles recently – nothing serious though and well on the way to recovery. Hope the continuing adventures of Konoha's Mouse entertain you all and, as always, feel free to take a spin-off of this story if the fancy takes you.

The show goes ever on and on...

I'm going to get my chakra today, I'm going to get my chakra today; even for a naturally cheerful person Naruto's mind was a real blur of joy and excitement as, fresh from his daily labours, he rushed towards training ground twenty-nine, the pre-arranged meeting point to what he'd unofficially nicknamed the 'teacher team'. The threesome that awaited him were a three-man team that, while originally thrown together following a compilation of injury and promotion from other teams, had proved to be so successful that it had stuck together for the past six months. Lucky for me they did really; amongst all the occupants of Konoha Uzumaki Naruto was amongst the first to acknowledge the Kami when it smiled upon him, possibly because it did so infrequently and he was always quick to count his blessings; I've learnt a lot from them all, even if I'm sure that Ebisu still doesn't like me much. In the end though it didn't really matter; at the end of the day he was a businessmen and, as he raised a hand in greeting towards the three older and taller forms already in the clearing, as long as the other party held up their end of the deal, he'd walk away happy.

"Af'noon team", he greeting cheerfully, waving a jaunty salute towards the three chunin as he paced into the training ground, his jumpsuit as always making him look like a lit signal flare, "first things first; anyone short any'hing?"

"Apart from a three week break and a large pay rise", the lone kunoichi of the squad complained, running a slim hand through her long mane of raven hair, "no, I think I've got everything I need".

"Same here", the scar-faced chunin told him, rubbing the legacy that had been left by a B-ranked missing nin of Suna before the rest of his squad and their jounin sensei had put the rabid bastard down, though not before Larata had been crippled for life by that drug-crazed opponent, "we mostly had a tactical day, didn't use too much".

"I could use a couple of kunai and your finest shuriken, if you please Uzumaki-san", Naruto just about managed to duck his head towards his rucksack in time to disguise the rolling of his eyes; out of all his customers only the sunglasses-wearing chunin with the supercilious manner didn't address him by his first name, "I have yet to visit the outfitters this week".

"Ah, why go to all the trouble an' waste your hard-earned ryo at a suppliers, save Muruda-sans of course, on'y top-notch equipment on offer dere, when you can just wait for the friend'y Uzumaki rodent to come along?" Naruto enquired as he tipped out his recent haul, his most recent customer delicately sifting through the pile and picking out a few wares, examining each keenly and taking what he wanted, discarding the rest with a slightly disdainful sniff before fixing the smaller form with a piercing glare,

"Recite and demonstrate the common shinobi hand-signs; name each one as you go".

Half-expecting this and already used to the half-mechanical tone of voice Ebisu-san always used when teaching, Naruto stowed Slim back onto the side panel of his rucksack and, remembering the little ditty he'd come up with when pacing the training grounds on the hunt for his precious scrap, the young jinchuuriki cracked his fingers and swiftly manipulated them into the correct forms, chanting as he did so,

"Tiger, snake, ox, boar, bird an' monkey; horse, rat, dragon, dog, hare an' donkey, which is act'ally sheep but we call it donkey 'cause if we didn't it wouldn't rhyme", he explained quickly, thinly amused by the sight of the sunglasses slipping slightly down Ebisu's nose,

"That, uh", coming to her feet the kunoichi of the squad, a recent promotion who had left her former team mates behind due to her superior genjutsu skills, Yuuhi Kurenai appraised the short form before her with a calculating crimson eye, "that was a neat way to remember the signs Naruto-san; I'll have to remember that for the future".

"I hope by the time you get hold of the fu'ure ninja of the Leaf dey'd already know th' hand-signs", he quipped back, the kunoichi chuckling in kind as she swatted the last member of her squad on the shoulder,

"I should hope so though I'll leave that to you Iruka-sempai", the scar-nosed chunin nodded, having never made any secret of his desire to become an Academy teacher, unlike Kurenai who had always wanted to be a jounin and take on the role of a jounin-sensei when she had the prerequisite rank and experience, "still, as you two boys want to teach the younger generation I'll sit this one out; I remember this lesson from my Academy days".

"And of course your Academy days were a good deal more recent than those of some present", Ebisu pointed out dryly, folding his arms, "though I am in agreement with you Yuuhi-san; Umino-san, I leave this lesson to you". Must be a thing with him – wonder if it's possible for a clan to enhance a sense of propriety that much; despite his thinking Naruto kept his musings internal, instead choosing to ask a question as he did so,

"Didn't you want to be a teacher too Ebisu-san", as the spectacles turned in his direction he sought to explain himself, "wouldn't you have to be in the 'Cademy as well t'do dat?" A small, slightly proud smile flitted across the usually taciturn mans' face,

"Usually yes, that would be the case; however both my grandfather and my own father dedicated their lives to the art of teaching. The results of their hard work is that our family, both my elder sisters and hopefully myself when I am trained enough, are considered the first port of call for specialised training – if it exists, we can find a way to bring out the potential in people. My father currently trains...very advanced ninja skills and my eldest sister instructs the new medical ninja at the hospital – in a way I suppose you could call teaching my family's calling".

"Wow"; guess jiji was right, you can hide a lot of potential in an unpreposing exterior – mind you, I think he might have been referring to me when he said it; once more grateful that jiji always kept a dictionary close at hand when he was in the office, the jinchuuriki looked up at the tall, thin man, "sounds like you got all'a skills. I'm a bit surp'ised your family aren't really famous ninja if de're dat good at learning; you could be ninjutsu 'pecilisms like that Sha-ring-han Kakashi I read about".

"Ah", while flattered to be compared to such a formidable and infamous Leaf jounin, Ebisu knew perhaps better than most how it was good to quash rumours before they could gather too much impetuous, "regrettably that is not the case; an unfortunate quirk of my family, very low chakra reserves. Forgive me if I sound patronising Yuuhi-san", he waited until the kunoichi nodded before continuing, "but it is likely that your chakra reserves will eclipse my own in the near future. For that reason Uzumaki-san while I would be very efficient at learning ninjutsu techniques, I would be a very poor front-line ninjutsu fighter as I lack the stamina for a protracted battle. I therefore serve the Leaf better as a teacher and stratagiser than a warrior, though you will not be my first student; I leave that, honour", he seemed to falter over the word, as though he'd only managed to correct himself at the last minute, "to Umino-san".

Naruto had no time to ponder this unusual hiccup as the scar-faced chunin stepped forwards, unfolding his arms as he looked his so-called pupil up and down severely,

"Very well then Naruto-san; my team and I did have a deal with you and it's our turn to hold our side of the bargain; to access your chakra, you need to hold this hand-seal", beholding the form the chunin twisted his hands into Naruto cocked his head, the movement almost making Kurenai lose her legendary cool and hug the little would-be ninja, "this is called the ram symbol; it's no use for crafting jutsu but especially good at gathering chakra; see how it looks a bit like sheep?"

"Yeah, guess so".

"Very well, hold that seal, focus inwards and try to search for the feel of your inner strength. I'm afraid I can't tell you what this will feel like, it's different for everyone but, when you think you've got it, try to pull it out like drawing a big bucket of water up a well. Think you can manage that?"

"I'll give it a go", Naruto shrugged agreeably, hands already in position as he looked up towards the future teacher, "right, le'see wha' happens". With that, he screwed up his face into a look of intense concentration and sank back onto his heels, focussing on seeking out the mysterious chakra that he contained within him.

Despite her knowledge of what the boy contained within him, the death of her father, both of Iruka's parents and several other famous and powerful shinobi of the Leaf, Kurenai was intrigued by what would happen next; though she would be unable to deny a thrill of horror ran through her that she might have been helping the Kyuubi vessel attain greater strength, the majority was intrigued to see if a child as young as Naruto would have a chakra pool large enough to be accessed. For a long moment she observed the scene, Ebisu by her side likewise enraptured but, as the seconds snailed by and nothing seemed to happen, her was the first patience to run its course,

"Never mind Naruto", his expression never changed even as he looked up at her voice, "I never managed it on my first time and I've now got the best chakra control of my class, save maybe Ebisu-san". The other chunin looked away but flushed, ever so slightly,

"You flatter me Yuuhi-san; my control, while sufficient to extend my paltry reserves a little longer in a fight, would never stand up to the requirement of one of your genjutsus – oh my!"

That sudden exclamation, at least by Ebisu's standards as neither of his team mates had ever heard him swear even at the worst of times, brought all attention back to Naruto; though beads of perspiration were now on his brow, the first time any of the chunins had ever seen him work up anything like a sweat, there was also chakra, a lot of chakra there too. Plumes of dust were dancing upwards from the floor as though they were iron-filings in the presence of a powerful magnet; as this dust rose and Naruto continued to focus, his cheeks flushing with the effort, the motes of mud were suddenly joined by faint blue flickers as a few of wisps of blue chakra swirling around his body; and it doesn't look like he's slowing down – visible chakra at what, only just six? Even with the demon within him...?; Ebisu's inferiority complex, never all that far away at the best of times, seemed to redouble as he saw the boy in front of him at least equal and more than likely surpass his entire chakra reserve at an age when most children were still looking up what chakra meant. With a sudden gasp Naruto broke his concentration, the chakra dissipating as squatted down, hands on his knees as he felt the exertion at last, looking up as he wiped his brow with the sleeve of his jumpsuit,

"So", he managed to pant, still not able to stand upright yet, "was dat, chak'a?"

"Yes, and a lot of it at that Naruto-san", Iruka said quietly, sizing him up anew, "it seems that you are quite fortunate indeed; your chakra reserves are much larger than normal – most children your age would have a much smaller chakra pool than that, perhaps not even enough to access it at all".

"Really?" The fact seemed to perplex the Uzumaki entirely, his eyes widening, "Wow, I got that much chakra, will dat make me an awesome ninja?" At this point Kurenai decided to make her point clear,

"Possibly Naruto", she waited just until his eyes started to sparkle before putting the second part to the Faustian pact of chakra and its necessary complimentary aspect, "but only if you learn to control it properly. Before you ask", having pre-empted his next question the kunoichi spoke to answer it, "if your control is lacking you'll waste and quickly exhaust your chakra; this is one of the issues kunoichi face more than men as our chakra pools are naturally smaller. Having proper chakra control helps you conserve this resource, if you like, and you'll last longer in a fight; you'll also have a much easier time with genjutsu".

"Like you do Kurenai-san?"

"Possibly, though you too have a delicate touch on the art Ebisu-san", the team mate who had spoken coughed and looked away, muttering something under his breath as his ears reddened and she turned back to her newest pupil, "so, with your permission Iruka-san?" The aforementioned man raised a hand and took a step back, giving his female team mate the floor as Naruto finally managed to push himself to attention,

"Okay Kurenai-san, what do I need to do; oh, how is dis going t'work – can we leave it there until nex' time I get some decent weapons in?" Black hair shimmering in the sunlight Kurenai shook her head as she picked something up of the floor,

"I don't think in all good conscience any of us could let you leave this training ground without making sure you have at least an idea of how to control your chakra reserves, at least if we want to still consider ourselves teachers at any rate, so you can consider this a freebee. This is the first and most rudimentary chakra-control exercise, the Sticking Leaf; all you do", she slapped her hand to her forehead and Naruto's jaw dropped as he saw the slightly-browning oak leaf stuck where her hand had been, "is channel the chakra to a part of your body to get the leaf to stick; it's easiest at your forehead and hardest at your feet. When you get better at it", she handed the leaf over to him, faintly amused as she saw him regard the ordinary leaf with something akin to awe; was I really that wide-eyed and wondering when I saw that trick first time?; "try two or more leaves, or using your chakra to get a single leaf to curl into a roll, though that is a tricky one; when you master it to Ebisu's standards, come back to us with some more gear and we'll fix you up with the next exercise".

For a long moment during which the leaf was turned over and examined several times it seemed he hadn't heard her but, as he looked up at the kunoichi and her two squad mates, that infamous grin reappeared on his face and he hefted the leaf upwards,

"Hai sensei, I unnerstand; I'll get this down no time". With that he screwed up his face, flipped the leaf into the palm of his hand and slapped it onto his forehead just as Kurenai had, immediately afterwards screwing his face up with his hands in the ram seal.

Ebisu was the one who saw what was going to happen first when the edges of the leaf started to curl upwards but before he could do anything to stop the situation from spiralling out of hand the leaf on Naruto's forehead burst into flames. The sight of the just-about six year old suddenly sprinting around the training ground and yelling like a madman while repeatedly slamming his forehead against the palms of his hands was enough to make all three chunins in the clearing snicker and laugh out loud, even more so when his soot-stained face attempted to glower at them prior to picking up another leaf from the ground.

After all, even a teacher was allowed to laugh occasionally.

XXX

"Hey, Chibi", the sudden shout jerked Naruto out of the light doze he'd been in, letting him blink up at the sight of the older girl who stood scowling down at him, "what are you doing here, these are Academy grounds".

"Hmm, oh I was jus' waitin' for someone", he explained, looking past the black-haired young lady in the blue and black uniform who looked like she was in the graduating year or the year below that, older than either of the threesome he had come to see, "you know when Izumo and Kotetsu usual'y show up, or Inzuka Hana?"

"You mean Inuzuka Hana?" Damn, forgot the U; closing his eyes at his mistake the youngster nodded quickly, the girl's expression softening slightly as she stood up, thinking, "I don't know the first two but Hana-san usually arrives with her mother and a little kid about your age; you can always tell when the Inuzuka's show up, their dogs bark enough to raise the dead. Anyway", she pointed a suddenly-stern finger towards the gate Naruto had squeezed himself through about ten minutes earlier, "if you're going to wait you'd better do it outside; the teachers might get mad if they catch you in here, you're way too young to be enrolled. In fact", she seemed to suddenly realise something for the first time, dark grey eyes narrowing slightly as she looked down at Naruto again, "how did you get in here in the first place?"

"Oh, jus' went through the gate", he replied blandly, inwardly quite grateful that the green-shouty man he'd traded with occasionally had recently, and loudly, declared his knowledge of the basic stretches and other exercises sufficient and moved onto slightly more advanced techniques, one or two of which he'd used to wriggle his way into the Academy itself, "bu' how did you get in?"

His forthrightness seemed to stun her somewhat and she fell back half a pace, suddenly defensive as she raised her arms as though warding his question off,

"Oh, Raido-sensei knows I like to come in early to study; I have a problem reading for some reason, something not quite right with my eyes, I see all the words backwards on the page and it takes me a while to unscramble them. I kept trying to sneak in early to get extra time to read the scrolls for practice; in the end he must have got fed up with seeing me waiting for him on the step and just gave me my own key, said I could keep it as long as I didn't cause any trouble. I don't really, just set up a few little pranks now and then", she leant forwards conspiratorially, some instinct Naruto couldn't quite name making him do likewise as a small smile graced her lips, "but don't tell sensei, or the clan for that matter".

"Clan?" Despite never having a family Naruto knew the basic idea of a clan was that it was essentially a large family that had something, usually a particular ninja skill, in common. Due to his trading he was aware of some of the clans in Konoha, the Hyuuga and the Inuzuka most of all as their unusual faces and, in the Hyuuga's case, standards of dress made them easy to spot, but the clan this girl must have belonged to was unknown to him, "Sorry f'soundin' dumb, bu' which clan are you from?" She regarded him almost suspiciously for a moment before, apparently satisfied by the innocent curiosity on his face, she gave an answer

"Uchiha, I'm Uchiha Mila", she half-turned around, letting him see the clan symbol on the back of her dark navy shirt, "and you are?"

"Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm gonna be th' Hokage someday", springing to his feet the little jinchuuriki thrust one fist in the air, looking so determined that Mila couldn't quite bring herself to laugh at his pose, though there was no stopping the broad smile that blossomed on a face that should, by clan diktat, have been serious and severe at all times,

"So I see; well you're in the right place for that Naruto-san but you're a little too young to enlist properly; shoo", she wafted him off with her hand, pointing towards the gate, "the first of the senseis will be here in about ten or so minutes". Naruto bobbed his head obediently and headed back towards the plain iron gate of the Academy before a sudden thought occurred to him and he paused,

"Sorry Mila-chan", halfway through picking up the school bag she'd set down prior to accosting the trespasser dozing on the Academy swing, the Uchiha looked over her shoulder to see Naruto tapping his thumbs together, not quite able to meet her eye, "was'a prank?"

What's a...okay; though at first glance a typical Uchiha from her serious and studious attitude Mila was not so hard-hearted that she would automatically dismiss someone without the Sharingan as inherently worthless; she'd done that once before and had her nose broken for it, Akimichi Gouji never one to put up with any slur against his clans' good name or honoured history. For this reason as much as any other the Academy student paused, bag halfway to her shoulder, before a slow smirk crept over her lips and she replaced it back on the floor; time for a little lesson young Uzumaki;

"A prank, well it's a bit like a joke – tell you what, best learn through doing; you know your friend Hana-san?"

"Hai".

"Well"; perfect, a way to strike back against the Inuzuka for that nin-ken peeing up our clan wall, and no-one will be any the wiser. If nothing else it'll also teach Naruto-san how to run away really, really fast; with that justification in her mind the grey-eyed Uchiha beckoned the young jinchuuriki to dip his head forwards, "to pull a little prank on her, this is one thing you could do...?"

Though she didn't realise it, would never be credited for it by the wider population and would sadly never live to see the crowning glory of her words, in that moment Uchiha Mila created her own legacy; as she spoke, her message became an inspiration to the one future ninja of the Leaf who would grow up to be, amongst numerous other things, the greatest prankster the Elemental nations had ever known.

XXX

Attuned to the sense of her partner on a level unsurpassed by any Inuzuka in living memory, Tsume had turned her head almost before Kuromaru's growl had reached her ears; holding up a hand respectfully from two-thirds of the Ino-Shika-Chou team, the current head of the House of Dogs glanced down towards where the wolf-like dog was poised, rigid as a statue with his one ear laid flat against his head,

"What is it?"

"Hana", the pack-leader snarled back, the mention of her only daughter bringing Tsumes' head around so fast she almost cricked her neck; observing the scene however, she could just see her eldest child speaking happily with a couple of her friends, "the fox, it hunts her".

"Fox? Have you got dust in your eye or something Kuro-kun, there's no...oh", finally following the canines' eye line she felt her lip curl in tandem with his own, baring pointed fangs as she saw the creature that had killed her husband and many others in her clan, obviously not satisfied with that offering of blood, had returned to stalk her daughter; just as well Kiba's at home for the day mucking out the kennels – that'll teach him to try and sneak extra food out the kitchen; "I see. S'cuse me a moment guys, I just need to dissuade little gakis from sniffing around my girl". Before she could take more than a pace however, her progress was arrested by a large hand gripping her upper arm, Chouza seeing what she had over her shoulder and stopping her before she did anything rash,

"Peace Tsume-chan", it was a mark of how long she'd known the large man that she didn't take offence at his term of familiarity despite the fact she knew the Akimichi patriarchs' wife personally, "that's just Uzumaki Naruto, not...anyone else".

"But what's he doing here", she asked snappishly, shrugging off his restraining grip, "unless he's planning to enrol but even then..."

"Hokage-sama would never approve; he's far too young", Inoichi finished for her, having waved off his younger relative Fuu for the day in lieu of his bedridden cousin twice removed, "besides, from what I've heard from my clansmen still training out in the grounds he's no bother, just hunts around for scrap and trades weapons with the nin he finds there. Still, I agree with you Tsume-chan; why is he here and, more to that", he fingered his chin as he saw the short, orange-clad form slowly approached the Inuzuka heir and, having caught the attention of her gambolling puppies, he seemed to strike up a conversation with her, "what does your daughter have to do with it?"

The bark of one of the Haimaru triplets alerted her to the presence behind her; as she span around she saw nothing until a blur a blonde from below her eye line made her look down

"Naruto", the boy looked up, one hand still on the slate-grey back of one of the puppies as he smiled up at her, "what are you doing here?"

"Waiting f'you, or Izumo or Ko, w'ichever of you came first", he replied, standing up and apparently not noticing as some of the other students immediately vacated the area as though he were the carrier of some virulent pox, "I got my chak'a a few weeks ago an' been working on my control. Now I'm ready to get my first jutsu". Hana blinked at this,

"Really, uh"; man that was fast, way too fast; as she, along with the ever-present twin thorns in her side Izumo-baka and his all-but brother, had only been in the third year of the Academy a little more than two months they'd only just begun to learn the Academy three, though she reckoned she had a better grasp than most of her peers of the first jutsu they had learnt; so, better this than nothing else I guess; "well, nice one Chibi; so, first jutsu, we only just got onto learning it ourselves believe it or not, finally got through the damned history lectures. This one's called kamiwari no jutsu, the body-switch; all it does is replace you with a nearby inanimate object to get you out the way on an incoming attack; the way Raido-sensei described it to us was to imagine a very thin string connecting you and the thing you want to switch with, make the seals bird, for movement, and sheep, to gather chakra, and then 'pull' the string while saying the name of the jutsu. If you get it right you should swap places with the object; that's all the help I can give you Chibi, I don't know any more myself. Got it?"

"Yeah, I think so", Naruto replied after a moment of head-scratching before his face brightened and he waved, "hey Izumo, Ko".

Forewarned by his greeting the Inuzuka scion span on her heel to direct her hardest glare at the boy who made her life a living hell only to realise a little too late, as a small hand gripped the belt of her trousers and gave a very hard yank upwards, she'd been had.

"Pranked", Naruto taunted in a sing-song voice, though as the Inuzuka turned very slowly back towards the miniature joker, pulling her violated clothing back down to its normal position with one hand while making a hard fist with the others, the formerly friendly puppies around her feet suddenly slinking forwards with hackles raised as they picked up on their mistress's aggravation, the smirk dropped away from his face, "uhh, Hana-chan, it was just a prank, you know for fuuuuhh-ohhh – kamiwari no jutsu!"

As they watched the Uzumaki, blue eyes wide and terrified as he realise his jutsu had failed, turn on his heels and run away screaming from the trio of nipping nin-ken and their wrathfully-roaring owner Inoichi, having seen the whole thing and struggling to hide his shaking shoulders in case Tsume turned around suddenly, felt obliged to make a comment,

"He's fearless I'll give him that, he's absolutely fearless".

"And he's got good taste", Chouza added, in a similar state to his former team mate as he watched the youngster twist, duck and dive amongst the crowd to try and avoid the rushes of the embarrassed Inuzuka girl,

"Wonder what they were saying?" The Akimichi mused, tipping the wink to his partner-in-crime as he did so – in their heyday Ino-Shika-Chou were as infamous for their pranks in Konoha as they were for their battle prowess out of it, "You catch it Tsume-chan?" She didn't answer verbally, instead shaking her head slowly from side to side as she watched her daughter grab the Kyuubi container by the neck and rub hard knuckles through his scalp, his yelps of pain audible even over the rest of the milling Academy crowd as the bell rang for the five-minute warning for lessons,

"No, missed it", she admitted, turning back to face them with an almost rueful expression on her face, Kuromaru likewise a little perturbed as he watched some of the youngest members of his pack savaging the jinchuuriki's sandals, "must have been something fruity to rile Hana-chan up though; last thing I need now is my little flower growing up too fast and picking up gakis like him". Inoichi nodded sagely,

"I know that feeling; I've already got the calming tablets on order for when Ino-chan grows up and starts the Academy; oh", he perked up with a respectful nod, "Haishi-san, good to see you again".

Like her daughter before her Tsume turned around; unlike Hana however, she was old and experienced enough to whip both hands around and just behind her; because of that she was able to intercept the two pairs of pinching fingers that extended towards her exposed target, holding them tight and smirking broadly as she spoke over her shoulder to the two trapped shinobi,

"Now then you two"; thanks Kuro-kun; to his credit the dog didn't react to his partners wink as he watched Inoichi and Chouza trying desperately to extract their sticky fingers as the Inuzuka spoke with the friendly, threatening tone that had developed over long years of partnering and going on missions with the shinobi of her generation, "what's it work I don't tell your wives about your attempts to get fresh with me?"

"Ah", caught with his fingers quite literally in the danger area, the Yamanaka clan head turned to his similarly-collared partner in crime, "we didn't think that through very well did we?"

"Not really", Chouza agreed, thinking up various scenarios of what his dear Chime-hime would do to him if Tsume followed through on her promise to tattle and shuddering, "okay Tsume-chan, what would you want for your silence?"

"Let's just say", she gave the trapped fingers a final twist before letting go in time to wave Hana into school for the day, the scolded Uzumaki slinking out the way of further reprisals as she looked over her shoulders to beam at them malevolently, "bring your chequebooks".

XXX

Finally heaving a huff of frustration Naruto put aside the leaf on his head with a weary sigh; for some reason no matter how hard he tried it never seemed to get any easier to get the stupid thing to stick to even his forehead, never mind anywhere else on his body. Still, he could do it now and that was a great improvement on the first time he'd tried it; at least he wasn't burning himself any more. Still, Kurenai-sensei had impressed upon him the importance of good chakra control and just because he had a lot of it, that didn't mean he was going to scrimp on what could one day be very important; especially since I think Iruka-san said he might try to make it a requirement to pass his classes when he gets into the Academy – if he'd done that before I got to know him I'd be well and truly screwed. Still, for the time being; like most kids being presented with a new treat or toy Naruto felt his pulse start to quicken as he stood up from his cross-legged sitting position and casually threw the cushion he'd been sat on onto the nearest chair, wanting a soft landing in case he got this jutsu down fast; and I will, because I'm the future Hokage, believe it!

With that thought in his mind the jinchuuriki determinedly set his sights on the cushion, flipped through the hand-signs Hana had told him, imagined throwing a thin twine around the cushion and shouted the jutsu around,

"Kamiwari no jutsu!"

That had been a week ago and he was still frustratingly stuck on the replacement jutsu; though he was getting closer the progress, much like his chakra control, was painfully slow. Still, as he knew from repeated lessons from both his jiji's, whether it be on moaning at the washing up or being unable to spell a specific word enough to annotate a report with it, shouting and screaming to the heavens wouldn't do anything but make him feel better so, facing the cushion again, he cleared his mind and tried again. Cast chakra forwards like a wire, bird seal, sheep seal and call...;

"Kamiwari no jutsu!"

Okay, I felt it again; it was something but not much of something Naruto internally complained as he watched the slightly-disturbed cushion flop to the floor; it's moving and I move the same amount; once more he was grateful he'd taken to sitting on a second cushion – the carpet-burns had been a killer first time it had happened; but it's not enough. Why is that?; folding his hands and placing one fist just under his chin, willing the gears in his mind to turn correctly; am I not using enough chakra or something, but this is supposed to be an E-rank jutsu! How can I be Hokage if I can't even mange something this simple – no, no don't get distracted; with a conscious effort he willed himself to concentrate and determine what was wrong by logical thought and deduction rather than give in to his childish instincts of throwing things around and demand someone tell him the answer.

It took a little time as he reminded himself of what Hana had told him about the jutsu, what it was meant to do and how it was supposed to accomplish it; in theory the string should snap forwards and you and the object should switch places – you pull the object towards where you were and by the law of chakra conservation and motion; Naruto made a mental note to thank the Sandaime for explaining this theory to him, though he had been careful not to give the old man any indication that he was actively learning the Academy three just yet; as chakra can't be used to fill a vacuum, as the movement of the object switched with creates, the chakra string instantly flexes and drags you into the space where the object was before dissipating in smoke. Because of this you can make kamiwari smokeless by using exactly the right amount of chakra to pull the switch and it's harder to replace yourself with a living object or person as they have their own chakra, so it's harder to force it to come with you – you have to overpower their chakra's inertia with the force of your chakra pulling them along.

Still; he frowned despite himself; knowing the theory is one thing but actually being able to do it is something else – chakra control shouldn't be too much of an issue, so what am I doing wrong? Well, I know that one; the fact he was moving a little was enough of an answer for that question – he wasn't moulding enough chakra to complete the technique fully, his chakra string was sluggish to form and, because of that, he couldn't pull it fast enough to actually swap with the pillow; so how can I get more chakra faster? Should I add another sheep seal, that might do it, but then; this was actually an old argument and, having tried it, it hadn't worked at all well, even if it had allowed him to switch once before; this jutsu's supposed to get you out the way in an instant, hell a lot of ninja can do it smokelessly without seals or saying the name aloud – I'd look a real lemon if I was there fiddling with five or six sheep seals to move, I'd be dead before I got anywhere. So extra sheep are out, what...

At that moment, thinking about sheep seals and working out what other potential seals could be used to gather chakra, another voice seemed to echo back to him and Naruto's eyes snapped open; looking down at his hands with a sudden excitement pounding through him, the newly-minted six-year old formed the new seal and, after considering the advice that it was supposed to be useless in actually performing ninjutsu, shrugged, smiled shyly and decided he had nothing to lose so would give it a go anyway. Squaring up to the pillow across from him earlier Naruto told himself mentally that this time he'd do it, he fixed his gaze on the pillow and recited in his mind; okay, thin ribbon of chakra, bird seal, ram seal and...

"Kami..."

There was a sudden loud 'bamf' noise in his ears and he felt himself crashing into something; dizzy and disorientated, the jinchuuriki had only a second to recover before a slow vertigo assailed his senses and he found himself shrieking as he tucked himself into a tight ball, awaiting the end with a terrified kind of acceptance. He seemed to hang in the air for an eternity before, with a bone-jarring thud, he felt his new ride hit the floor and he tumbled off the back of the chair onto the floor, panting with adrenaline and shock as, after checking all his limbs were still present and functioning correctly, he slowly rolled onto his front and began to pick himself up, seeing what had happened. For a moment he was unsure as to why the chair had fallen over in the first place, scratching his head until he looked beyond it and felt his jaw drop.

Sitting directly in front of him on top of the pillow he'd been half-crouched on was the pillow he'd aimed to switch with, one corner drooping onto the floor as it wobbled in its place.

I did it; the thought was so alien and weird that for a moment he didn't believe the evidence of his own eyes; in fact only when he paced slowly over to the pillow and poked it tentatively did he actually leap into the air with an exclamation of delight; I actually really did it – I can do the Kamiwari! Forget sheep, ram's where it's at for this one; even as he re-wrote his own mental notes, however, the question of why rose up to greet him and he pondered for a minute; the teacher-team said I had a lot of chakra, could that be it? Ah, who cares, what matters is I can do it – now all I need to do is practise lots, then I can work on what that Hyuuga said; memories of the white-eyed man regarding him dispassionately almost made the youngster shiver – of all the clans except maybe those guys with sunglasses and high collars the Hyuuga clan always gave him the creeps as he could never tell what they were thinking, though in that instance he'd gotten some good information for his spool of ninja wire.

Okay, this time; he told himself as he straightened the chair and, after a second's deliberation, chucked the practice pillow towards the settee this time, not wanting to risk damaging the more rickety of the two pieces of furniture he owned; feel the flow of the chakra, how it moves when you make those seals. After that, because I never really said its name anyway; a slight tinge of pride flavoured his thoughts at that moment but, excited by what might await him in the future, he decided against paying it too much heed; try to move the chakra without even using all the seals – hmm, this will take work; he knew next to nothing about the Hyuuga clan but what he did know was that you didn't try to fight them hand to hand unless you were the best and their chakra control was legendarily good, something to do with their scary white eyes; but a future Hokage never backs down, believe it!

Having set his mind on this new goal Naruto, having targeted the pillow, closed his eyes, moulded his hands slowly through the seals he needed, trying to trace the movement of his energy as he did so and, without speaking, gave his chakra a hard yank...

A second later there was a sudden crunch and a groan of pain as, rather than the pillow, he swapped with settee itself and as a result slammed himself into the wall it had rested against; right, mental note; he grimaced as he picked himself back up and shook his woozy head; little less chakra next time.

XXX

Dashing through the snow littering the training ground Naruto once again simultaneously cursed the fact he was running late and blessed the Hasuwadas for getting some gloves in his size in just before the cold teeth of winter had properly bitten around Konoha. The training grounds were covered in snow and ice, a boon and a bane for Naruto as on the one hand most ninja were less likely to look for their lost gear due to the cold but on the other trying to find shuriken and kunai alone was difficult under a blanket of snow and ninja wire, forget it in this weather. Blowing into his pair of white mittens, the Mouse of Konoha pulled up his collar and ducked under another low tree branch, careful not to disturb its current cargo of snow and have the whole lot drop down the back of his collar; once bitten twice shy in that regard.

The winter had been unusually cold but luckily jiji had been around to check his apartments' heating system just before the first snow started to fall so that had been a bonus; he'd had frost-nip once before and it had taken him ages to get the feeling back into his fingertips. The mittens he had now were protecting him from the cold in the training ground and the thick socks he'd traded for were proving to be a good investment by keeping his feet warm, but regardless of that he was still running late for his last meeting of the day if he wanted to get back to Konoha before nightfall – jiji didn't like it if he wasn't back in the village before dark. The chunin Maito Guy had kept him longer than expected and, accidentally adding injury to injury, one of the new stretches he'd had Naruto try out as the penultimate step for to the full lateral splits had all but ripped both his jumpsuit and his groin; it had taken him fifteen minutes to even hobble in a straight line after that, never mind run.

Still, overall it would be worth it; though the green-shouty man was loud and at times as literally overpowering as he was a powerhouse in a fight, Naruto already felt a little stronger and a lot more flexible than he had been a year ago, though he was a little disappointed that the chunin had been resolute in his decree that he wouldn't teach the orange-clad pre-genin any taijutsu until he was at least eight, a year before he joined the Academy. As he recognised the signs that he was getting close to the teacher-team training area he banished such thoughts and reached for the strap of his rucksack, ready with his present as he slowly stepped into the clearing and looked around; damn; he inwardly cursed as his face fell, realising his tardiness had cost him; too late they've all gone home. Not that I blame them; he shivered and hugged himself up in his jumpsuit; it's getting chilly out here again. Let's see; realising he'd missed an opportunity with friends, Naruto turned to the clearing again with a professional eye; did they drop anything?

With his scavenging instincts honed and refined over a period of several months Konoha's mouse immediately went on the hunt, though he was doubtful he'd find anything as out of all the teams save for maybe those containing one or more Hyuuga with their all-seeing eyes, an unfair advantage in the world of finding things other people had dropped Naruto always groused in private as it was a rare day he'd ever find anything that had once belonged to a Hyuuga on the training ground, his teacher-team was orderly, neat and tidy. Still, the cold might have made them forget, especially Kurenai-san – I think she wears that outfit for distraction to fight filthy but I doubt it keeps the chill out much; Naruto reasoned mentally, peering under a thick bush before shaking his head and straightening up; nope, nothing under there save leaves and bugs. Apart from that though, nothing ventured nothing gained – hey, what's...Ebisu-san?

Ducking back behind the bush he'd just examined Naruto peeked up again and realised that yes, he was indeed looking at the eldest member of the trio; the lanky chunin was reclining against a thick tree, something that looked like a garishly-covered book at eye-level with his sunglasses. It must have been a good read because he hadn't even noticed the equally-orange boy scrutinising him and he was usually very observant; Naruto took a second of screwing up his eyes before realising he couldn't see the words on the front cover and decided he might as well introduce himself,

"Hey Ebisu-san, what'cha readin'?"

The reaction to his jauntily-shouted greeting was both explosive and amusing; the chunin all but shot into the low branches of the tree he was stood under, book flailing and flapping around as he looked around wildly in every direction save the right one as he sought to track down the sudden shouts' source. He must have blinked at some point as the tall man moved as one second the book was there and the second after it wasn't, hidden in some part of the chunin's ninja equipment as, face slightly reddened, he folded his arms and looked at the child,

"Ah, Uzumaki-san", he paused to clear his throat, looking at Naruto through his ever-present glasses; I wonder if he's related to those bug-guys at all – they always wear sunglasses, but he doesn't have a high collar; "what, ah, what are you doing here?"

"Was hopin' to run into your team", he replied, shucking his rucksack to the floor and opening it up, "jus' wanted to say thanks for teachin' me that Sticky Leaf thing". An eyebrow rose,

"You have that exercise mastered?" Naruto shook his head,

"Nah not yet, but at least I can get the thing to stick wi'out burnin' my eyebrows off", the jinchuuriki admitted before opening the top of his travelling pack, "so, anythin' you need?" Ebisu shook his head, still looking a little flustered with cheeks that appeared red enough to melt any snowflake that dared fall within ten feet of them,

"Ah, no not at present Uzumaki-san", he seemed to be more on edge that even Naruto had suspected, looking around as though desperate for a way back to Konoha at short notice, "I believe it would be best if you, in fact if we returned to the village now, it is getting rather late". At this Naruto nodded, feeling it would be nice to have some company on the journey back rather than coming in solo as he usually did; hefting Slim and pulling his rucksack back on, he looked up to beam at the chunin,

"Okay, sounds like a plan Ebisu-sensei", with a tilt of his wrist the top of Muruda-san's gift pointed towards the distant village gates, "le's go".

The trip back was surprisingly quiet between the two of them, though this might have been due to Ebisu setting a quicker pace than Naruto was used to on the trip back; however it didn't take Naruto long to adjust to this due to his continuing traipses around the training ground and, because of this, it wasn't long before the question Ebisu had dreaded was asked,

"So, what were you reading?"

"That was a", though lying was anathema to someone who wished to spend his life as a teacher, Ebisu was well aware that some things were just not to be admitted to save by highly-renowned jounin who were strong enough to take stick from no-one so was, just this once, content to bend the truth just a little, "a book about ladies and how to interact with them". This made Naruto look cross-eyed for a minute before he gave a slow, thoughtful nod,

"Okay, bu' if you wanted to know about ladies why don't you ask Kurenai-san?" The unexpected query almost made Ebisu miss his step, choking as he looked around at the smaller form by the side of him,

"Uzumaki-san", he sounded horrified and Naruto immediately back-pedalled; what, what did I say wrong?; "there are some questions no man should ever ask a lady, especially not a kunoichi"; at least, not if he wants to keep all his extremities attached to his body;

"What kind of questions?" Luckily if there was one thing Ebisu was good at, it was deflecting attention and interest from himself and putting the onus back on others,

"Hmm, I'll let you answer your own question here Uzumaki-san", the chunin informed him, the ghost of a smile on his lips as his shielded eyes glanced sideways and down once more, "what do you know about the fairer sex?"

It was a question that rather foxed Naruto, though once he realised the chunin meant the fairer sex as in ladies rather than...the other kind, he thought back to the girls he did actually know,

"Umm, they're okay, some of them; I mean Tenten-chan's really cool, she wants to be a ninja an' her daddy's showing her how to use all the ninja weapons, and Ayame-chan's a real good cook an' she's really smart too".

"You like these young ladies then?"

"Er, yeah, kinda", Naruto scratched the back of his head, not quite sure where the ninja was going with this, "they're friends if that's what you mean".

"Ah, friends", as though this was the answer he'd been waiting for Ebisu slowed down, pushing his glasses up his nose, "well that is a good sign Uzumaki-san, having friends who are girls your own age is a very good trait to have. However, when you grow older there is a chance you might start to see these girls, or, at least, one of these girls as, something a little, closer than a friend, if you see what I mean".

"Closer than friends?" Racking his brain the jinchuuriki thought as much as he was able to – for some reason he thought a lot of Izumo and Ko, having seen the deadly duo on more than one occasion as they finished their practical training sessions at the Academy training grounds and one of the words they used to tease each other regarding the girls in their class,

"You mean like a girlfriend?" That Ebisu hadn't been expecting,

"How do you know what a girlfriend is?"

"Heard it off some people I know in the 'Cademy", Naruto spoke dismissively before, as he thought about the problem, he saw a thread between Ebisu's questions and what he'd said earlier about the other member of his squad and, once he'd seen the beginnings of such a path, he could do nothing more than follow it, "oh, is that why you were reading that book – you wanted to ask Kurenai-san to be your gi..."

He was cut off by a sudden hand slapping over his mouth, Ebisu looking around as though he was expecting to see missing nin come crawling out the trees all around them before releasing his prisoner belatedly, Naruto heaving down a deep breath after his unexpected suffocation,

"Naruto", it was a sign of how desperate the man must have been that he actually used the jinchuuriki's first name as he stood back up tall and glared, "you are never to repeat that I was reading that book or mentioned Kurenai around it to another living soul! Especially not Kurenai-ch,san".

"Why not? I think it's quite, uhh, what's the word", he scrunched his face up, clicking his fingers as he tried to recall the elusive syllables, "en-dear-ring, if that's it, reading that 'cause you didn't know how to ask her yourself. So, you going to ask her?"

"No, of course I'm not". Naruto's face fell,

"Why not? You're both chunin, you're in the same squad and you must like her if you were reading a book on how to ask her, what's the problem?"

"Because"; how did it come to this – I never asked to be giving the talk to an inquisitive six-year old; "because Kurenai-san and I would never work as a couple".

"Why not? What's wrong with her; is she sick or something?"

"Nothing is wrong with Kurenai-san, she's in perfect health; the problem, I fear, lies with me", Ebisu was already well aware of his faults, especially in comparison to the kunoichi who had already surpassed him, "compared to her I've very little to offer; she's a lot more competent as a ninja, her genjutsus are all but flawless and compared to my own ambitions her are much more advanced and, unlike me, she has the skill and drive to achieve them, and she is two and half years younger than I am. I would do nothing but hold her back".

It was a little harsh but overall it seemed fair; Ebisu knew, or at least had a vague idea of his probable future and in no way could he see the raven-haired kunoichi playing more of a part in it than as a short-term team mate. To his relief Naruto seemed to accept this as well, though he looked a little put out by his admissions; before he could enquire why however, the jinchuuriki spoke,

"That was mean; I didn't think Kurenai-san would say things like that to people, least of all her own team. I think you're an okay, or better than okay, teacher an' you know more than she does about being a ninja, an' you've got loads more experience than her; if she said that to you she's not much of a friend an' I sure wouldn't want her as a girlfriend". What, Kurenai-chan would never say those – oh I see; now he was able to see Naruto's error he was able to correct it,

"Well you were right in one regard", almost despite himself a slight smile slid over his face as Naruto looked up beaming at being told he'd done something right, "Kurenai-san would never say such things about people. One of the most important things a ninja can know is his own limitations; minimising the risks of these limitations to others is one of the principle reasons Konoha's nins use the team system. My low chakra reserves, for instance, are overcome by Umino-san, while I can quickly analyse a situation and think my way out of many situations that may flummox him. However because of the differences between us I couldn't ask Kurenai-san to be my... very close friend – she deserves someone who is better suited to her skills and abilities".

"Does she think that?"

The question, coming as it did after a moment of silence following his explanation ending, brought Ebisu up short, blinking as he looked down at the diminutive figure by the side of him,

"I beg your pardon?"

"Is that what Kurenai-san thinks; I mean", Naruto sought to explain himself as Ebisu fixed him with a stern but not evil eye, "everything you said, is that what Kurenai said, or thinks? I don't know, I don't know her enough so I guess you'd have a better idea'n me, but if she hasn't said those things to you why do you think that? She could say you're being silly, or overthinkin' things – she said you were good at genjutsu last time I saw you guys so she must think you're fairly good – I know she's the 'Llusion Queen of Konoha so if she says you're good you must be. I dunno but shouldn't you ask before saying you couldn't work – tha's like me saying I couldn't do a technique without trying it; at least I'd give it a go first, I might be shock myself. If it didn't work then never mind, at least I tried".

At least I tried; the words rattled around Ebisu's head as he kept step with the youngster, slowing down to Naruto's pace as the duo made it onto the main road back into Konoha; to cover his tracks and mask his thinking, however, the would-be teacher flicked his eyes sideways and spoke in his most elite tutoring voice,

"It's possible you're right Naruto; however for now explain the purpose of an ending seal and give examples of the common ones".

"An ending seal", Naruto spoke after a moment, screwing his face up as he tried to remember the explanations he'd read from the scrolls in jiji's office, "is the last seal used in a technique and is commonly to convert the chakra used in the technique to a specific element. The common ending seals are tiger for fire jutsus, dragon for lightning, ox for earth and bird for wind; water jutsus doesn't have a common ending seal..."

"And why is this?"

"Umm, because according to legend the twelve animals of the hand-seals all swam across a river, therefore no aquatic animals could compete".

"Good, now what is chakra and how can a ninja increase his reserves?" I wonder; even as he asked Ebisu felt the weight of the book in his back equipment pouch and its mirror in the pit of his stomach; even as he did though he heard Naruto speak again with the innocence of his youth and the ball of dread solidified; at least I can try – I wonder if the Yamanakas are open still, and if I remember rightly Kurenai was planning to throw a celebration in a few months time when her friend gets back – if I offered some help there...;

"Chakra is..."

XXX

"Surprise!"

She was so deep in her thoughtful trance that she didn't even notice how dark the interior of the dango store she'd arranged to meet Kurenai-chan at had been; because of that when the lights went on and everyone jumped out from where they'd been hiding quite a few of them were forced to jump back in again to avoid been kebabbed by rapid-fire kunai.

"Enough, enough", once more Genma managed to keep his ever-present senbon in his mouth even as he shouted at the top of his lungs, "we surrender; please accept our offering of dango and sake as a token of our submission". Still not dropping her recent kunai and with a jutsu on the tip of her tongue the recently-returned kunoichi glared around at everyone before, to a chorus of relieved exhalations, she dropped the item back into her weapon pouch, grabbed a skewer of dango from the closest table and let a massive grin slip over her face,

"You got that right; crawl maggots, crawl", Anko demanded, stepping forwards to accept a saucer of sake from the senbon-chewing chunin, "cheers Genma-kun, I take it you had a lot to do with this?" Typically of his affable nature, he shrugged and wafted a hand around,

"Mostly Kurenai-chan actually but we all did our bit", he admitted, the other chunin and occasional career genin, now they realised the threat was over, shuffled back out from where they'd dived for cover and slowly began to strike up conversations, "so, glad to be back?"

"Sort of", Anko seemed to mimic her slightly older friend by talking around her dango skewer; though Genma had graduated in the year above her at the Academy, he was so laid-back that even following her reappearance after the Oroichimaru incident he bore her no ill-will and because of that made it onto the very short list of people the Snake Mistress called more than a casual acquaintance, "the last mission was important but it was sooooo long; I had to act the part of a good little courtesan for over six months and the diamyo of Mist is a real stick-in-the-mud – totally faithful to his wife and wouldn't even think of goosing one of his courtesans, never mind having some fun with one".

"From what I've heard of that diamyo's wife I can't blame him; she's supposed to be able to put Tora to shame", Genma chuckled, helping himself to a bite of dango as Anko moved slightly around him, looking for her oldest friend, "still, you got the mission done with extra from what I hear; managed to isolate a couple of spies in our own court". Anko smirked nastily,

"Yeah, and Ibiki better save me some when he gets his grubby little mitts on them". Genma shook his head, finally removing his senbon and tucking it behind his ear as he made to move away from the returning kunoichi, her previous mission finally over,

"I'm sure he won't forget; anyway from what I hear you're going to be needed more than ever Anko-chan - you hear what happened to the Sandaime's little girl?"

"Yeah, occupational hazard in our line of work", the seductive infiltrator admitted; though she'd not seen the youngest Sarutobi since she'd been re-instated as a chunin of the Leaf Anko acknowledged the other woman as a rival of sorts as both kunoichi were infiltration specialist; however as the Sarutobi was a direct relation to the Sandaime and therefore a major prize for the enemy should she be captured she officially didn't exist and no-one outside her immediate family had ever conclusively seen her on a mission or reporting to her father, "still good luck to her; while she's out of commission with her brat that leaves me as the number one seductress of Konoha".

Anko flashed a victory sign and grinned as Genma just shook his head, knowing from long experience that when she was in this kind of mood it would be an exercise in futility in trying to talk to her like a grown-up; not like she hasn't earnt the right to act like a kid though – I couldn't do the job she does.

"And you're proud of that?"

"Yep", Anko assured him with a happy nod before draping an arm over his shoulder, sultriness in her smile and mischief in her lavender eyes, "now what say you and I ditch this place, head to mine and I show you just how I got my number one spot?"

"I say I'm not that suicidal, even if it would be a hell of a way to go", Genma countered, ignoring the slightly taller woman's hurt pout and protruding lower lip as she stuck her nose in the air as his gentle rebuttal, "from what I've heard the last guy you dragged into your room didn't escape for five days and by the time he did not even Inoichi could help him get his head screwed back on straight".

"Yeah but what after getting a good look at his memories even Inoichi needed a cigarette afterwards; besides", Anko's professionalism was such that she could even make a smirk look salacious, "Mr Yamanaka-clan-head should have known to come to me if he needed help with scre..."

"Enough", Genma's answer was half-groan, half-giggle as he ruffled the younger womans' hair, Anko yelping and ducking away from him as she hated that gesture of affection, " anyway this is your party, go tease someone else for a while, oh but don't go for Hayate like you used to".

"That cough of his getting worse is it?"

"Yeah, that and the fact a sword to the kneecaps often hurts like you wouldn't believe", Genma grimaced, one or two memories of sparring with one of Konoha's finest swordsmen standing out in his memory again. Anko appeared a little confused by this for a second before the other ninja nodded and a head of purple hair caught her eye,

"Ah, so they finally stopped dancing around each other; about time", Anko put her hands on her hips as she watched Yugao hand something that looked like a napkin to her sickly-looking partner, the swordsman nodding as his took it before immediately pressing it over his mouth as a fit of coughing racked him, "I was beginning to think the only thing that'd get her to stake a claim would be someone, the incredibly sexy me for example, trying to ravish him on the chunin lounge floor".

Genma almost snorted sake through his nose at that one, grin still a mile wide as he bade a passing goodbye and moved into the crowd, leaving Anko to wonder what else had happened in Konoha in her six-month absence.

Kurenai had sensed her coming but, just this once, didn't move to block the rush and instead let a pair of arms encircle her slim waist as she felt a pressure on her shoulder, the scent in her nose immediately telling her who it was even before Anko started talking excitedly into her ear,

"You. Ebisu. When, how, why and what base?"

"Umm, about two months ago; he's currently my team mate, a virtually perfect gentleman and believe it or not quite a romantic", the idea of the sunglasses-wearing chunin who was all legs and ears trying anything romantic made the Snake Mistress snort with laughter, almost enough to miss the tail end of her conversation, "he very politely asked after buying my favourite flowers and taking me out for to see one of the most recent pictures I wanted to see and I said yes, and as for the last part", Kurenai twisted her head enough to see her friends face out the corner of her eye before flicking the side of the other chunin's nose, Anko pouting cutely from the impact, "never you mind".

"Aww, Nai-chan", Anko buried her chin in the other chunin's shoulder, whining at the same time as setting her fingertips dancing over the bandages covering Kurenai's stomach, not bothering to hide her smirk as she felt the skin twitch and writhe under her fingers, the taller woman having to fight hard not to double over, "come on, you know you wanna tell me".

"No", the other chunin growled back, fighting hard not to give Anko the satisfaction of hearing her laugh at the same time as try to squirm her way out of her friend's restrictive grip; damn it six months was too long away from her – I forgot Anko never fights fair; "it's private". Taking this as a challenge the snake summoner redoubled her attack, Kurenai unable to stop a cheep of laugher escaping as she grabbed the back of Anko's hands, trying to wrench them away from her,

"Come on Nai-chan", she coaxed evilly, feeling as well as seeing the black-haired woman going red in the face from holding her breath, "no secrets between friends right? Come on, let it all out". Her friend was weakening, Anko was sure she was about to be victorious before a sudden hand clapped her on the shoulder and a rather high, in Anko's opinion nasally voice broke into her game,

"Not wanting to interrupt Mitarashi-san but would you mind not traumatising my partner for the evening", Ebisu enquired politely, plate of sweet bean soup in one hand and a tray a sake dishes in the other as he faced down Anko's sudden sheepish grin, "I know you're excited about being home but please, if you need to indulge your torturing fantasies I'm sure the missing-nin in Morino-san's cells will be sufficient". Releasing the taller chunin in her grip Anko grinned as she snagged the sake and soup from Ebisu's grasp,

"I wasn't torturing her, no really I wasn't", she defended herself, not helped by the look of disbelief on both Ebisu and Kurenai's faces until, eventually, she threw her hands up and admitted her guilt, "well maybe I was just a little bit, but Nai-chan's so much more fun to tease than a stinky ol' missing-nin. They're ten a ryo at times while she's one of a kind", despite her withering look at the returned chunin Kurenai couldn't help but feel a twinge of pride at these words as she tugged her bandages back into position over her belly, "anyway, I think we're going to need more than these appetisers Ebisu-chan; off you go, this is girl-talk". Ears reddening again both from the unseemingly affectionate suffix to his name and the casual dismissal, Ebisu nevertheless caught Kurenai's eye and, reading her as well as he did when they were sparring together, realised she agreed and tilted his head forwards when he read the message in them, turning to find something to replace the goodies Anko had snaffled as the Snake Mistress turned back towards her friend,

"So, Ebisu huh?" Kurenai nodded slowly, raising one of the pro-offered saucers to her lips as Anko dunked a dango skewer in the soup the older chunin had brought, "Have to say I never thought it'd be him that melted the Ice Queen of Konoha", Kurenai scowled at the old nickname; we were in the Academy and boys were falling over each other to ask me out, even when I was a genin it didn't matter how many times In said no – I used one measly genjutsu to get them to back off and I got labelled with that title; "reckon he's the one Nai-chan?"

"I don't know", the other woman replied honestly after a moment's thought, a small smile gracing her face as she caught site of her partner over by one of the food tables, loading up a new plate, "he's not exactly what you'd call a red-blooded male but Ebisu-kun's very sweet in his own way, good with kids too. We're just taking it one day at a time", she soldiered on, fastidiously ignoring Anko as the lavender haired kunoichi pretended to retch into her sake saucer, "he's not put a foot wrong the past couple of months so, I don't know". She repeated herself before flicking Anko's ear, making the other woman hiss in pain as she recoiled from the unseen sneak attack; recollecting herself and sticking her tongue out, the reason behind the evening's celebration leant against the nearest wall with one shoulder as she eyed up some of the other chunin and genin who'd attended the party,

"Meanie, striking when my guard was down..."

"I'm a kunoichi Anko-chan, it comes with the job". The snake mistress sniffed again, casually looking around and raising an eyebrow at the talent on show; oh, Aoba-kun got ripped compared to last time I saw him;

"...and as if that's not bad enough you and the other kunoichi are nicking all the talent", she mock-wailed, Kurenai shaking her head and trying to disguise the shake in her shoulders at Anko's mock distress, "at this rate I'm going to have to go cradle-robbing the latest boy-wonder to get some man-time".

Cradle-robbing?; luckily someone uprooted the question that had been planted in the red-eyed jounins' furrowed forehead, Aoba pricking his ears as he arrived at the bar for a refill,

"Boy-wonder – Kakashi-senpai you mean?"

"Oh no, no eeewww", Anko gagged at the thought, "knowing him he wouldn't even take his mask off for that, it'd be like trying to kiss a silkworm", she complained before shrugging her shoulders, "bumped into someone halfway up a tree on the way in, little gaki on the training fields, must have been colour-blind if he thought that orange monstrosity was anything like in vogue".

"Ah you met the Mouse", Aoba put the pieces together fractionally faster than Kurenai, leaning on the bar and explaining as Anko quirked her eyebrow, "little kid about yay high, bright blonde hair and three marks on each cheek? Yeah that's Naruto; we call him the Mouse, or the Pack-Rat at times; he just hangs around the training grounds and picks up old weapons people lose, trades 'em for ninja lessons off us when he sees us".

"I thought he was a bit small to be a genin; I swear they get titchier every year", Anko looked a little mollified by the explanation, stirring a dumpling in the sweet-bean soup Ebisu had provided, "well, explains what he was on about with trading and all that; I thought he'd bumped his head falling off the back of a merchant caravan". The genin by the side of her chortled, having missed the previous Chunin exam by dint of there not being an available spot on any of the competing teams,

"He bumped his head somewhere along the line I reckon, probably just after birth", Aoba commented, though in truth he had nothing against the young Uzumaki; in fact like most ninja he found him to be a welcome break from the monotony of training and doing low-rank missions whenever he reared his blonde-haired head, "still when'd you cross paths with him; I thought you'd have just come back here soon as you were able for the dango if nothing else".

"I would have done, if he hadn't been halfway up a tree and caught my eye; I nearly went face-first into a larch because of his jumpsuit and, after dazzling me like that", she sighed and shrugged her shoulders, her chainmail shirt rippling in a way that made Aoba look away and Ebisu, now returned with more nibbles, all but shoot steam out his ears, "well I just had to introduce myself". A sudden tremor of unease rippled over Kurenai's slim back,

"Anko", the snake summoner looked around as her friend tried to sound casual despite her trepidation, "that kid's only six - what did you do exactly?" There was a teasing lilt in those purple eyes, one that made Kurenai fear the worst as Anko's words only made a bad situation worse,

"Oh nothing too unfriendly", apparently unaware of the sudden attention she was getting Anko knocked back her latest saucer and smirked, "just a little joke".

XXX

Well you see something new every day; the thought echoed around Anko's mind as she watched the painfully-bright body beneath her continue its slow ascent up the tree inch by torturous inch. Her recently flared temper cooled and she sat on the branch she'd landed on, watching the thing that distracted her as her keen hearing picked out the odd grunt, pant and swearword from the climbing figure; and who's this then – gotta be a recent graduate but if that's the case where's his sensei, or his team for that matter? Something was a little fishy here and, having nothing better to do with her day save report in, collect her pay check, hit the hot springs and then the nearest bar, Anko stood back up and approached the situation with all her usual tact and diplomatic skills rising to the fore,

"Hoi, gaki!"

The response to this was unexpected and, in Anko's mind, unintentionally hilarious; concentration broken by the sudden shout the kid began flailing around on the trunk of the tree, scrabbling for purchase on the rough bark before, in desperation, he flung his arms as far around the tree as possible, hoping to cling on like a sloth. Overall it didn't help much but at least it made the bump softer as, overpowered by gravity, he slid down the tree trunk rather than fell straight to earth. Anko was there to greet him, hands on thighs from laughing as hard as she'd watched his doomed attempts to stay tree-born, an image of a sleeping Tora disturbed by a blundering genin springing to mind and only redoubling her mirth. It was only at a sudden disgruntled shout that she managed to push herself upright and observe the irate figure in tear-blurred vision, what looked like a short stick now balanced in his hands,

"Wha'choo do dat for?" Naruto complained, trying in vain to brush some of the green tree-stuff off the front of his jumpsuit; nope, no good – it'll need washing tonight; "I coulda fallen, why'd you shout at me?"

"S'sorry gaki", despite boasts to the contrary Anko did apologise on occasion, "I thought you'd have better control than that though. Your sensei not teach you tree-walking yet or you just no good at it?" To her consternation the blonde boy merely scrunched his face up, looking confused,

"Tree-walking, how'd you walk up a tree? An' wha' you mean sensei, I'm no'a ninja yet". Belatedly noticing the lack of headwear Anko narrowed her eyes,

"Is that so?" She said dangerously, though the kid didn't fall back even if he did raise his little staff slightly more, "In that case what are you doing here, and what were you trying to do to that poor tree?" At these questions the brat seemed only to look slightly more confused,

"You not been around much lady; I work onna trainin' grounds, look for weapons t'trade with the ninja. There's on up dere", he pointed above him, Anko craning her neck to see what looked like a kunai dangling from one of the lower tree branches, held in place with ninja wire and obviously the remnant of a sprung trap, "bu'I couldn't climb that high, and I couldn't knock it down with Slim so I was tryin' to use my chakra to get it".

"Slim? Oh", as he waved his stick around like a baton she understood, "okay, got that; what were you trying to do though?" At this his face brightened,

"Some of the ninja showed me the Sticky Leaf exercise just before th' winter an' I thought I could use my chakra like dat to stick to the tree. I was climbing it until you shouted", he added petulantly, scowling across at the kunoichi as Anko took in what he'd said and, despite herself, felt a trickle of admiration enter her mind; pretty smart actually, using chakra like that to stick. Alright he looked like a snake trying to wriggle up a drainpipe doing it but hey, it was working, and he came up with it on his own. Not too shabby for someone with no sensei.

XXX

"Uzumaki-san was doing what?"

The question broke in on her thoughts and derailed her recollections, making her shoot Ebisu a nasty look. The named chunin, however, either didn't notice or didn't care, instead looking shock as did, she belatedly noticed, most of the others who'd been listening in on her meeting the Mouse,

"Like I said, he figured out how to basically get up a tree with chakra; not bad for a gaki who wears orange as a ninja. He said he'd try again when I left after he tried to sell me the stuff in his backpack", she snorted as she lounged across the bar, gesturing for a top-up from the barman, "credit where it's due, first guy I've ever met who didn't try to buy my body". Aoba spluttered into his drink at that, looking her up and down as he wiped the sake off his lips,

"And even if he did he wouldn't have a clue what to do with it..."

"Yeah, lessons would have cost extra".

"Pervert", he accused; ah Aoba-chan; Anko smirked in her mind even as she quirked an eyebrow at his damnation; this is why you never win an argument against me – you denigrate what I'm proud to admit;

"Guilty as charged", she replied coolly, Kurenai by the side of her merely rolling her eyes as she was reminded of her friend's attitude and antics, "apart from that though because of him I was running late to meet the Hokage, so I said I'd peruse his wares later if he brought them along to a meeting place I mentioned to him", her eyes flashed across the bar and an evil grin split her lips, "that was about twenty five minutes ago".

There was silence in the bar before, with a cough, Hayate felt obliged to make a comment,

"You stood up a little kid?"

"Yep", Anko nodded happily as groans of exasperation filled the air, "that'll teach him to nearly make me break my pretty little nose on a rotten old tree. He should've gotten the message by now and even then it'll teach him that ninja lie sometimes; harsh but true".

"Very true, now go and get him", Kurenai demanded, hardening her heart against her friends' disbelieving look and wobbling lips, "it's not fair to pick on the Mouse like that Anko-chan – go and pick him up and make sure he gets home safe. I don't know him all that well but Naruto's nothing if hard-headed; he'll stay there all night unless someone calls him off".

"Aww but Nai-chan, its cold out there", Anko complained, trying to wheedle her way out of being forced to go back outside when she was comfortable with her friends and an overabundance of sake and dango, "don't make me go out, it might rain and I'll get wet on the grounds".

"Grounds?" The word jarred in Aoba's mind, prompting his question, "What do you mean by the grounds?"

"Where do you think I told him to meet me; it's my home from home after all; oh come on", she chuckled at the suddenly horror-struck faces before her, many of the assembled chunin and Aoba going white, "it's not like he'd actually go in there right? Right?"

Suddenly faced with her peers rapidly looking at each other and almost simultaneously downing drinks and snacks before making a concerted rush for the door, Anko could only curse before taking a last bite of dango, a last swallow of sake and haring out after them.

XXX

Right, that's it – I'm going in; patience finally snapping like rusty ninja wire Naruto threw himself to his feet and, seizing Slim, he strode towards the fence in front of him, unaware of the danger signs as it was too dark to see them, and grabbed a fistful of chain link, heaving himself up with his rucksack on his back. The jinchuuriki pulled himself upwards until he was able to throw his leg over the fence and repeat the motions in reverse to hit the floor as well, looking around in the darkness to try and see where he was. There was no sign of the kunoichi who said she'd be here thirty minutes ago, so he guessed it was up to him to track her down; training of a sort I guess. Okay, first thing's first;

"Anko, Anko-san", his shout split the night like a thunderbolt, though there appeared to be no answer save the rustling of the leaves in the night breeze, "you in here? Anko-san this isn't funny, if you're hiding get out here now – ah, about time", hearing someone approach the young would-be ninja slammed the business end of Slim into the ground and began to take off his rucksack, "if that was meant to be a joke it wasn't a funny one, I've been freezing my butt off for ages waiting for you. Still, got a few..."

It was at that point that he heard the sudden growl and the hairs on the back of his neck rose; no matter how unhinged Anko had appeared to be earlier (and even from their very brief conversation it appeared to Naruto that the purple-haired lady wasn't playing with a full deck), he doubted she was the kind to snarl like that before moving in for the kill. The footsteps seemed to get heavier as he swallowed and voiced a silent plea to Kami through his parched throat before mustering the tiny reserves of his courage left and turned towards the noise. The sight before him almost made him pass out as the bear reared onto its two hind legs, blotting out the meagre moonlight as it threw the human into shadow, glaring down at the interloper as though he were little more than a light snack to be consumed at leisure.

Heart palpitating wildly Naruto knew for certain that he could not fight this monster, nor could he run from it; though it was huge and looked ungainly he was aware that bears were actually fast over short distances. Apart from Slim he had no weapons immediately to hand and even if he had they were likely to do nothing but anger the mighty beast; still, slim was all he had and so he clung to Slim, the little twig shivering his trembling grasp. It seemed an eternity as bear and boy regarded each other; even in the darkness he could see its piggy little eyes shadowed by the fur on its well-muscled face, its nose flapping in the still air as it sampled his terror. The earth shook and Naruto almost fainted as it threw itself to all fours and paced forwards; if I run it'll chase and catch me – what can I do, what can I do?

His brain had no idea how to react to this but his body did; as the monster thundered forwards he dived to the left, out the way of its charge, coming to his feet in a quick forwards roll even before the bear had stopped moving, breathing quick and light and Slim still in his hands. As it pushed itself upright again and turned ponderously around again Naruto felt something else flow though his blood instead; though his fear was still there he was beginning to be consciously aware of the fact that he was still alive, the bear hadn't caught him with its first attack – he had dodged it, just like he had when some of his customers had training with him, showing him how to fall, roll and dodge properly. In fact, if he looked again, the bear wasn't actually all that scary; yes it was massive and even a mere buffet from any one of its paws would probably kill him outright, but it wasn't as dangerous as most of the nin he'd ever met save the genin. No kunai, no shuriken, hell not even any chakra it can use; though his nerves were still shredded and on tenterhooks Naruto felt his breathing even out, the panic drain away from him – this bear, well wasn't it just a bigger version on the green shouty man, and not even as quick as he was? In fact if he thought about it didn't those roars sound a lot like a cry of 'yooouuuuutttttthhhhh?'

"I, am Uzumaki Naruto", he said to himself softly, his voice rising as he looked at the bear again, ready to duck and dive at the slightest provocation, "I am a future Hokage of this village and no flea-bitten teddy bear wannabe is going to stop me! Come on Bear-san", he rapped the floor with Slim before leaping backwards from a claw swipe that might have eviscerated him had he stayed still, "you'll have to try harder than that if you wanna make me your lunch!"

His world had shrunk to just him and the bear; it was his focus, his entire reason for living as he dodged it again and again, its temper rising and rising as he continually evaded it, though it had trashed his rucksack earlier, attracted by the scent of his former snacks from the side pocket. He had been forced to watch as it had casually ruined his livelihood looking for food, his knuckles going white as he gripped Slim and shot a glance towards the nearest tree before shaking his head; I'd never make it in time and, even if I did and I could stick to the bark like earlier, that thing's probably got a twelve-foot reach if not more, it'd hook me down like picking a grape. And that's assuming the damn thing can't climb after me; luckily throughout his introspection he'd kept a weather eye on his opponent and therefore was able to duck away towards the fence again; he'd learnt that the bear couldn't see all that well in the dark and would, if prodded, crash into the wire if he was quick enough to lure it there. Just as the bear rose its head again Naruto breathed in again, the sweat frozen to his back in the cold air as he watched the bear lumber around to face him again, his faithful rucksack lying shredded and beaten at its feet,

"Oh yeah", he challenged, quickly checking the ground around him to make sure nothing was going to snag him, vaguely aware of a sudden gust of wind behind him rustling the leaves, "well I'm not goin' t'lie there an' wait for your fil'hy chompers; you wanna eat me, you gotta earn it".

"And you won't be doing that tonight!"

The voice that broke his focus was followed swiftly by a kunai, Naruto breaking his own golden rule in shock and taking his eyes off his opponent to see another form behind him hurl another weapon at the bear, and he wasn't alone either. All around the fence line ninja were appearing, their shunshins scattering leaves as they took in the situation in an instant, weapons in their hands as their voices pierced the night, confusing the bear which roared in pain and confusion as the weapons drew blood.

"Naruto!" The sudden shout broke his paralysis and he looked around wildly before sprinting towards the figure that knelt nearby with arms outstretched, "Over here!" He didn't need telling twice; he crashed into the figure at such speed it nearly bowled them both over but the ninja kept his balance, there was a brief distortion around him, wind in his ears as he screwed his eyes shut and waited to get away from that monster.

He felt numb, like there was a barrier between him the rest of reality; the full weight of what had nearly happened to him, how close he had come to death seemed to crash down on him mid-flight and when the ninja let him go he flopped to the floor as though he were boneless, blue eyes wide and staring as he watched vague shapes in the place around him, heard snippets of unimportant conversation,

"Shock, he's going..."

"...back to the village..."

"...got anything for this..."

"...Use this, sit him up", Naruto felt himself pulled into a sitting position, a thigh behind his back bracing him upright as something was forced into his mouth; before he could protest his tongue was flooded with something incredibly hot, sour and pungent. Coughing and choking as he swallowed some of the liquid, he forced the bottle away from him, the world swimming back into focus as he saw the whitened face of someone peering down at him,

"Naruto", the voice was less disjointed than before and he was able to recognise it,

"Ir, Iruka-san?" There was sudden warmth at his front as the chunin embraced him hard, breathing harshly into his ear,

"Thank Kami, you are such a lucky boy; why on earth did you go in there? It's dangerous, most jounin don't go in the Forest of Death alone!"

"I was"; why was I there, it was important; "I was, looking for someone, they said they'd meet me here". Trying to push himself to his feet Naruto found himself held down gently, Iruka speaking gently even as he seethed on the inside; damn it Anko, you could have killed someone;

"No, don't stand up Naruto, you've had a nasty shock tonight. Listen, hold onto me, think you can do that?" He felt two little fists grip his vest and phrased a silent prayer to the Kami in his mind; at least Naruto's mind hadn't gone from the shock; when he was sure he had the boy in his arms, the chunin stood up talking all the while,

"Okay kid, we're heading back to Konoha, I'm going to be using shunshin no jutsu a lot so don't worry; there's a bed with your name on it tonight, not many six-year olds could face down a bear like you did so you deserve a good rest".

With a scattering of leaves Iruka, still talking all the time to his silent passenger, departed and the killing intent started to rise and focus on the cause of all the trouble Mitarashi Anko could only grin, inwardly pray for the earth to swallow her up and think of something really, really clever to say to placate her hacked-off peers.

"Uh...oops?"

A/N: Oh dear oh dear oh dear, what will become of our intrepid little rodent? What will the Sandaime say when he realises what happened to his beloved little grandson, and can Anko run fast enough to get away from all her angry chunin friends? Until the next time and the answers, ja ne!