1 "Hundred and one fever." Arthur proclaimed as he stared intently at the thermometer clasped between his thumb and forefinger. "Well I can tell you one thing; you're not leaving this bed until that fever of yours is down."
Alfred pursed his lips and puffed out his fever reddened cheeks in a pout. "But Artie, I came all the way across the ocean to spend time with you, not lie in bed and be all sick." Indeed Alfred had traveled all the way across the Atlantic Ocean from his home in New York to his fiancé's home in London, England. Unfortunately though not long after arriving in the foreign city Alfred had started a fuss of coughing and sneezing and before long he had developed a low grade fever to go with it. Upon further inspection of the internet is was revealed that two of America's biggest stock companies were down forcing Alfred's ever present cold-like symptoms to increase in ferocity.
"What happens happens Alfred and there's nothing we can do about it." Arthur explained as he turned away from his sick lover and went to the bathroom to sterilize the now germ ridden thermometer. He soon returned the bedroom- aspirin, a bag of cough drops, and a cool dampened cloth in hand- setting his spoils down on the nightstand before placing the cloth on Alfred's forehead just under his dark blonde bangs. "Just rest for now and your fever should go down soon." Arthur soothed his formed charge as he softly caressed his fever reddened cheek and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. "Now, is there anything I can get for you?" He inquired politely.
Alfred shook his head against the pillow, "No… I'm not in the mood… I'm just tired…" He sighed as he closed his eyes.
"Then get some sleep, love." Arthur instructed as he reached up and gently pat Alfred's head. He couldn't help, but feel nostalgic at the motion. "This reminds of when you were little; I used to pat your head like this when you fell asleep." The Briton commented.
"I remember. You used to read me stories and stuff too… I used to love it when you did that." Alfred mumbled in his sleepy state.
"You want me to sing you a lullaby?" Arthur questioned with a small laugh. Alfred looked up Arthur expectantly; blue eyes shining under long blonde lashes. "Well... I-If it'll help you sleep... I guess I wouldn't mind."
Alfred opened his eyes, endless blue orbs glowing even though they were only opened to half-mast. Alfred smiled softly, "Kay, you remember my favorite, right?"
Arthur smiled as well, "Of course, how could I forget." Arthur cleared his throat briefly before he began to softly sing the same age old lullaby he used to sing to Alfred when he was nothing more than a small colony. "I gave my love a cherry that had no stone. I gave my love a chicken that had no bone. I gave my love a story that had no end. I gave my love a baby that had no cryin'." Alfred always loved the way Arthur sang. How soft and supple his voice sounded with the rise and fall of the notes. It had been something that had always sent the American nation to sleep within only a few minutes of listening and even two centuries later that hadn't changed. "How can there be a cherry with no stone? How can there be a chicken with no bone? How can there be a story with no end? How can there be a baby with no cryin'?"
Alfred felt himself slipping into the unconsciousness of sleep and the sound of Arthur's singing was soon fading away into silence. The American's heavy eye lids began to flutter closed and his stuffy breathing evened out as fell further into the realm of sleep. "A cherry when it's blooming, it has no stone. A chicken in an eggshell, it has no bone. A story that's 'I love you', it has no end. A baby when it's sleeping has no crying'..." Arthur smiled down at the now peaceful, sleeping form of his lover. The Briton finishes the song with a tender kiss to Alfred's cheek and the removal of the younger nation's glasses. "I can't believe that still works even after all these years…" Arthur muses quietly as he folded up the spectacles and placed them safely on the night stand.
Arthur looked at the peaceful sleeping face of his lover. With his face so slack and relaxed and his glasses removed it was amazing how young Alfred looked. Had it not been for Alfred's now more defined and square cut facial features Arthur would've sworn it was his old colony lying before him. Alfred…. Arthur remembered Alfred when he was only a small boy wandering the prairies all by his lonesome. He had been so small, so cute, his blue eyes were always sparkling with wonder and curiosity like the world was this magnificent place filled with adventure….
Sometimes Arthur missed that. Having someone look up to him and think he was great again even though his empire had long since crumbled away. His empire… now that he thought about it he had his empire when Alfred was still a young lad and that only made the longing for the times during the American's youth even greater. But what happened when that boy grew up…. Arthur shook his head clear. No he wasn't going down that road of painful memories. None of that would ever happen again. Not Ever.
Arthur looked down at his left hand where on his ring finger sat a simple silver band subtly studded with three diamonds. Alfred had purposed to the Briton only a few short weeks ago. This ring was a symbol, a promise that Alfred was dedicated to being with Arthur till the day he died. That ring was a symbol, a promise that Alfred was never going to leave Arthur alone and that gave the Briton comfort…. Still a fear was always present in the deepest, darkest parts of his old mended heart.
Arthur hauled himself off the edge of the bed- cursing his stiff (not) old joints for a moment- before he exited the room with last glance back at his sleeping lover before he softly closed the door behind him. Undoubtedly Alfred would be hungry when he woke again so Arthur decided that it would be a good idea to prepare some nice, hot soup for the American to soothe his sickness stricken throat. Arthur attempted, but by the time he had burned his hands twice, cut himself with a knife once, and spilled the carton of broth he decided to give up. Alfred didn't really like his cooking anyway. He ate it and said that he liked it but the Briton knew full well that it was just his fiancé being nice. Alfred would most likely appreciate something tasty and store bought. Arthur crept upstairs and made sure Alfred was still asleep before he snuck back down the stairs, grabbed his coat, and headed for the local convenience store.
Cooking had always been a thing Arthur enjoyed doing, but it was not something he was very skilled in (or so said everyone else). Still when Alfred was a boy Arthur would cook the lad platefuls of food and the young nation would practically burst open with excitement before shoving his face full of meat stew, shepherd's pie, and fried fish. Alfred used to like his cooking that was until…. What was wrong with Arthur today? No matter how hard he tried not to let it his mind was somehow always wandering back to the memory. That rainy day. The saturated dirt underneath his legs. The cold and distant look in those once beautiful and shining blue eyes…. And there he went again. Arthur was going to have to force himself to stop because a spontaneous bout of crying in the convenience store was not on today's schedule.
By the time had Arthur had retrieved the goods, brought them home, warmed them up in the microwave, and brought them upstairs Alfred was starting to stir from his sleep. As Arthur entered the room with a bowl of piping hot soup Alfred was starting to sit up in bed, gazing over at Arthur with a sleep glazed stare. "Well good morning sleepy head," Arthur spoke, forcing his thoughts from nostalgic to present day with some difficulty. "How're you feeling?"
Alfred grumbled softly, "Mmn… how long have I been asleep…?" He asked groggily.
"You've been out for a good hour and a half," Arthur replied as he put the bowl of soup down on the night side table. The Briton reached a hand over and pressed it to Alfred's cheek, "Hmm, still a bit warm, but not as bad as earlier." He said as he brushed a strand of misplaced hair from Alfred's eyes.
Alfred grumbled again and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow, "That's good…" He said suppressing a yawn; stretching his arms in front of him until his shoulders gave a comfortable crack. "Man, I'm hungry… that soup for me?" Alfred asked as he gazed over at the bowl on the table.
"No it's for the tooth fairy; of course it's for you, git." Arthur shot back.
"Well you never know; it never hurts to ask." Alfred forced a grin to his face as he rolled over and gave a bit of a struggle to sit up against the pillow. Arthur placed a warm hand on Alfred's shoulder and aided his lover to sit up. "You didn't make that soup… did you?" Alfred asks slightly cautiously.
Had Alfred not been feeling ill Arthur would've smacked him upside the head for the rude comment. "No I did not, I went it bought it at the store while you were asleep." Arthur said with a small scowl as he turned to the nightstand and picked up the bowl. Alfred breathed a small sigh of relief. He felt crappy enough as it was, he didn't need food poisoning on top of a cold. "Git, you used to love my cooking when you were a child. You would come running to me every time I came to visit, begging me to cook you something special." Arthur pointed out. Arthur couldn't count the endless amounts of embarrassing stories he had in his mental file cabinet of Alfred when he was young.
Alfred laughed softly, "Yeah, yeah I know I did. But I was still so young and had no idea that there was cooking other than yours." Alfred said, accepting the bowl.
Arthur frowned slightly, "Ungrateful git, you still loved my cooking either way. Sometimes I wish you were young again, at least then you'd be tolerable." Arthur shot back hotly. "Oh, I forgot to bring up a spoon, be back in a tick, love." Arthur noted as he picked himself up from the bed and then strode out of the room to retrieve the proper utensil from downstairs. Alfred watched quietly as his fiancé disappeared around the corner of the door and his footsteps grew softer and softer as he descended upon the stairs.
The American's gaze flittered downwards and he looked at his reflection in the murky, steaming surface of the broth. He looked so young in that reflection. He could tell even if his vision was faded and blurry from the ravishes of astigmatism. There had been several times when Arthur had mentioned to Alfred that he missed the way he was when he was still a colony. In most cases Alfred would just reply with a witty comeback or brush it off, but… was there a reason behind it all? Sometimes Alfred wondered, but usually he kept those thoughts in the deepest parts of his mind.
Alfred rummaged through the silverware drawer in search of a soup spoon (because it had to specifically be a soup spoon and nothing else). He sighed to himself, taking a moment to push any reminiscent feelings or memories that swirled around within him; Alfred, after all, was an adult and had been for two centuries now. Arthur just… missed how things used to be sometimes even if he did find them much more favorable in present day. The present day where a new love could blossom between them into something they could have never had before.
Still Arthur couldn't help, but recall the days when he was looked up to in high respect by the American nation who had then been his brother. It was back then that Arthur had held one-fourth of the world's surface within his grasp while nowadays he nothing to brag about, but events that had long since passed. Ever since Alfred left him Arthur's empire had slowly began to crumble under his feet and eventually he was pulled down in normality where he had no accomplishments left save for some good business transactions and an era of music that swept the world by storm. It was because Alfred left…. Arthur willed the feelings back into their lock box in his heart and headed back up the stairs, spoon successfully in hand.
To the surface once again the thoughts and feelings were raising from the deepest corners of Alfred's mind and the darkest pits of Arthur's heart.
It wasn't long before Alfred heard Arthur's footsteps on the stairs again, this time ascending the flight of wooden boxes. It wasn't long either before the Briton's lithe figure appeared in the doorway, silver spoon in hand. "I got it. How silly of me to have forgotten." Arthur chuckled softly as he crossed the room to Alfred's bedside. "Well c'mon on then; you better start eating before it gets cold." Arthur said as he held the spoon out for the other man to take. The younger nation just sat there as he started down into the bowl with lips pressed together. "Alfred," Arthur attempted to get the American's attention. "Everything alright, love?"
Alfred moved slowly, ignoring the spoon Arthur had offered and instead put the soup bowl back on the nightstand. "Hey Arthur…" He began softly. "Do you… do you really wish I was a kid again or… or is that just an empty phrase…?" Alfred asked cautiously.
Arthur paused upon hearing the question. He took a moment to think it over before clearing his throat and speaking, "I-I well… er… well y-yes and no…" Arthur placed the spoon on the table, daring a glance in Alfred's eyes before turning his gaze downwards again. "Don't get me wrong, it's not something I think about very often but… it was a high point in my life and…" Arthur fidgeted slightly, keeping his gaze ever away from Alfred's. "I just get a little… nostalgic from time to time, that's all…"
The American nation hesitated briefly before responding, "So… you're happy, with the way we are now I mean…?"
"What?" Arthur looks up, eyes spread wide. The Briton bent down and sat on the edge of the bed, taking Alfred's hand within his grasp. "Of course Alfred… I couldn't be happier with the way things are now…" Arthur looked down again, cheeks brushed a light shade of pink. "You're… you're the happiest part of my life since… since I met you. I love you and what we've become, but I can't help, but become reminiscent every once in a while…"
"Good I'm glad," Alfred replied. "I… I really do love you Artie. I always have ever since I met you all those years ago. I love you so much and we're going to be together forever, Arthur. We'll be happy together…"
Arthur smiled down softly at his former charge as he leaned down so he could hug Alfred close. "Of course, Alfred, I feel the same way. I know I love you more than life itself… I always have, just in different ways. I've scarcely been happier than in this time I've been with you, and I… I don't want it to ever end…" Arthur held Alfred tightly, screwing his eyes shut to keep from crying from the feelings that only continued to slowly leak out from their prison.
He was crying? Well Arthur wasn't specifically crying, but Arthur could hear the strain in his partner's voice as they embraced. "Hey Artie… is something wrong? You seem so down and I don't know why. Y'know if anything's bothering you, you can talk to me about it…"
The Briton took in a deep breath, steadying his voice, though Alfred's words have struck something within him. More memories of rain mixed with tears and the chill of a distant gaze on his face…. "N-nothing… I don't know… I'm sorry I'm stuck in the past sometimes…" He'll leave one day because of it… because he's young and virile and has so much more in store for him, and I can't keep up…. He left before, what's to stop him now? Arthur finished to himself as he bit his lip and screamed at his mind to stop because that part of his mind was wrong. The Briton made no noise, but only continued to bury his face further into Alfred's shoulder.
"Artie… something's obviously up. It's more than just some old memories. C'mon… you can tell me, you can tell me anything. What kind of engaged couple would we be if we didn't confide in each other?" Alfred replied, absent mindedly rubbing soothing circles on Arthur's back.
"I… I…" Arthur hesitates. He knows he can't hide anything from Alfred, but he didn't know how to go about forming his thoughts into the proper words. He doesn't know how to say it not after Alfred has assured him that their love wouldn't end. With the walls closing in quickly Arthur takes the only escape he can and just blurts everything out between choked and broken sobs. He knows that if he doesn't say it now he never will and only then will those words slowly eat away at him until there is nothing left.
"I'm… I'm terrified…" Arthur cried. "Terrified of the day when you… when you want to be free again. When you realize that my time had passed. And… and you'll leave… not because you're cruel or hate me, but because I can't keep up and you need to be able to run forward…" Arthur takes in a deep shuddering breath as he wills himself to calm down. The guilt takes ahold as he is more than ashamed for having these feelings.
Alfred looked down at his lover with eyes spread wide and brows furrowed with distain. What was Arthur talking about? Alfred would never leave him never and-! Alfred knew what this was about. No matter how many times he tried to circle around it somehow the couple always seemed to wander back to the same day that their ties had been severed and left tattered and torn for several decades. "Arthur is this… is this about the revolution? Look I said I was sorry and I know what I did was cruel and hurtful, but I had to and-!" Arthur cut him off.
"This isn't about the past Alfred; it's about the future…. One of us is going to have to more forward and… and it won't be me, I can tell you. My time was back with the empire and now that that's gone I'm… I'm pretty much done Alfred and… you aren't… and I know you'll leave because of it…"
"That's crazy Arthur! I'd never leave you; I love you, more than anything! Arthur I'd give up everything I have- everything I am- if it meant that we could stay together! I'd give it all up…"
"I just can't bring myself to hold you back anymore or make you give anything up for me…. I know you love me, truly I do, but it's not like you to be tied down to anything…. You're meant to be free Alfred… not stuck with some crazy old fool who's just lost in his memories…" Arthur sobbed. That was all he was, nothing but a crazy old man who couldn't give up the fact that his days in the sun had faded away to darkness. He was nothing more….
Alfred stared down at his lover with eyes glistening. He smiled sadly, "Aw c'mon Artie… you're breaking my heart…." He laughed humorlessly in a pathetic attempt to bring them back to happiness, but it was of no use now. "Arthur… I love you. I love you more than anything… more than hamburgers, or airplanes, or video games or any of those things put together! Arthur I love you so much it hurts sometime and… and… hearing you say all these things it..." He trailed off as his voice became strained and he was beginning to lose his self restraint. The American slowly wrapped his arms around his fiancé and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Please don't think that just… please…" Alfred didn't mean to make himself sound so desperate, but he couldn't help it. He was. A few stray tears rolled down Alfred's cheeks as he struggled to himself composed for the sake of his partner.
Arthur's sobs died down into small whimpers as he felt Alfred's much larger frame trembling against his. What… what was he doing…? Look at what he had done because he couldn't control his emotions. He had made Alfred, the man he loved, cry. "I'm sorry Alfred… I don't know, I just… I can't help, but feel… afraid sometimes. You've been so wonderful to me and I'm so very happy with you, but… but I just get worried. I've lived long enough to know that all good things come to an end…. I'm sorry, Alfred. Please don't cry, love…. I just… I just get so caught up in worry sometimes…"
"But there's nothing to worry about Artie…"
"I understand but… it's like your fear of ghosts. Irrational, but still there no matter how hard someone tries to convince you it's not…" Arthur arms unconsciously snaked around Alfred's back, latching onto the material of his shirt and holding fast and tight. He buries his head in Alfred's chest and whispers, feeling ashamed and childish, "Do… do you promise that you'll be with me as long as possible? It sounds silly I'm sure, but…" He trailed off slightly.
Alfred pulled away from Arthur a little so he could look into his brilliant green eyes, "Of course I do Arthur." Alfred reached around and took his fiancé's left hand, holding his fingers delicately to look at the ring that sat on his second to last finger. "Arthur, I didn't ask you to marry me for no good reason. I asked you to marry me because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. When I say I want to spend the rest of my life with you I mean it sincerely. I'm never going to give you up Arthur; nothing could ever make me leave you." He explained softly. "Every time you look at this ring I want you to remember that I've made a promise to you. That I've made a promise that we're going to be bonded together for the rest of time. Use it to help you calm down and chase away those stupid fears… okay?"
Arthur closed his eyes and smiled through the still present tears. He brought his hand up with Alfred's along with it and gently placed a feather light kiss on the shimmering diamonds of the ring. "Thank you Alfred… you really have no idea how much that means to me…. You're all that I have Alfred, but… I'm so glad I have you."
Woo! Finally finished! Took bloody long enough…. The idea for this theme is actually based off an RP I had with my fellow USUK devotee. So… yeah that's really it. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated.