A/N: Hello everyone! The Expressive Panda here again with a new chapter of ASTC. Thank you Guest for such a nice review! Anyways, please enjoy chapter 3!
Chapter 3: Feelings
Ding Dong
The rest of the week was the same. Stan wouldn't say anything more than "hey, how are you doing? Well that's nice, umm sorry I have to go with Wendy now, bye"
It was annoying.
I was on the verge of punching him the second time he did it. I am being pushed away over and over again. It feels like I'm reliving my past again. Will it ever stop? I don't ever want to be alone like I used to.
Ding Doong
That's probably Stan. What does he want? I hesitated to go open the door, might as well stay silent so he could think that no one is home.
Where do we go from here… should we even be friends anymore? I guess there's nothing left to say. Stan's on his own, his most important thing is Wendy so there is no point in fighting.
I hate being confused. This isn't like me.
DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG
"Tucker" I said while finally opening the door to my house. Persistent fucker… Craig probably had been there waiting for me a few minutes. I only answered because he was already being a nuisance. For a second though, I actually thought it would be Stan… Maybe that was the reason I decided against opening the door.
"Broflovski" He answered, with the same enthusiasm he always has. But it's nice to see he hasn't changed.
I still have mixed feeling about Craig. Although he is kind of an asshole, I continue to enjoy his presence. He isn't exaggerated, he isn't a drama queen. He is stoic and boring, just my type of person.
"What do you want?" I questioned while crossing my arms and leaning on the door frame. I stared down Craig's sapphire eyes that seem to have rolled in annoyance from my expression. If that's the case, I still wouldn't care.
"Today's Friday, you do remember your promise to Kenny right?" Craig raised an eyebrow.
"Of course not, wouldn't miss it for the world" My eyes narrowed. I kind of lied, I really didn't feel like going when I agreed, much less now.
"Uh huh. Your lying is getting better, but still isn't good enough to fool me. Now go get dressed, you look more horrible than you usually do" He sighed and let himself in my house. I hate how he always knows when I'm lying, so I won't bother trying anymore.
I scoffed "Fuck you Craig."
He replied with flipping me off. After that, I closed the door and saw how his horrible mug got comfortable on my couch.
"You know, even if you aren't in a good mood, you should act like it when you're there. This party means a lot to Kenny so have some decency" He mused while yawning. It was true, if I don't go, Kenny will feel terrible. And I wouldn't want to do that, I actually like him.
Kenny is mostly silent when we are doing anything with the guys. It's rare to see him actually wanting something. He is humble, which makes him a great person in my eyes. He isn't a smart ass, he isn't a jerk, he's definitely not exaggerated, and he isn't a spazz. He is just a caring person, which always makes everyone happy. I know he could be a bit of a perv at most times but everyone has their flaws, and this happens to be Kenny's. I mean, it could be worst.
"I'm not in a bad mood." I said calmly, trying to prove my statement, but it was pretty predictable.
"Look, lately you've been acting strange. You're bothering me" Craig said while getting up and following me to my room upstairs. I rolled my eyes at that statement.
But me acting strange? I don't think I've changed in any way. Besides the fact I think about Stan a bit too much… Well, maybe that's what he was talking about. So I decided not to answer him.
"Craig, why are you following me? I'm about to change." I questioned impatiently, tapping my foot repeatedly. He could of just stayed downstairs on the sofa.
"You change in gym class every day, today isn't that different and besides I wanna talk to you about something" He said while sitting on my bed.
He had a point… I rolled my eyes again. I hate him
"Alright" I said while starting to take off my shirt "What did you want to tell me"
Craig, who was staring at the wall, began "I wanted to say something about Wendy, do you care to know?"
"I don't give two flying fucks about her."
"Kyle, lying doesn't suit you. I know that deep inside you want to know. If I had known you honestly wouldn't have cared about that, I wouldn't have ever mentioned it" Craig's tone got darker, as if he was finally getting annoyed of my attitude.
"Gee Craig, you know me a lot don't you? What, are you in love with me or something?" I said sarcastically, while taking off my pants.
"You wish. If I really did like you I would've told you by now. I'm not some pussy that hides my feelings and feels jealous afterwards, like you"
That statement really struck a nerve. Was it because it was true? No… I don't like Stan, it's impossible. I would never like someone like him…
"Are you still going on about that? Seriously, try finding something else to do" I said finally, adjusting my current clothing and heading for to the closet to look for some shoes.
"What's wrong with liking Stan?" He asked while he started to lie on my bed.
"He is exaggerated, a pretty boy, he can get unbelievably annoying, not to mention his ego is huge" I blurted out, with an annoyed tone. That´s only scratching the surface of how really annoying he is.
"First of all, you never mentioned you didn't love him because of his gender, which means you don't have a problem with that. Second, he was your best friend for a reason, it's because you put up with all of the negative parts of his personality. You accepted him. Just like he accepted you" Oh look, even Tucker can say something nice once in w while… wait what. Just what is he implying…
"T-That's because I was in desperate needs of a friend… that's all…" I stammered out. I had a feeling that I made it a bit obvious now.
"So you are definitely not in love with Stan?" He questioned one last time.
"Yeah." I said while I put on my coat.
"Alright, then I don't think you would mind if I made my move on you, now would you?" Craig asked, while getting up from my bed and stood next to me.
"Excuse me?" I exclaimed, dumbfounded at his last question. Does Craig actually see me that way? The only thing that I've ever known for sure is that I'm definitely not homosexual… I haven't had luck with any girl but I know I like them… I think.
"You heard me. But I guess I shouldn't be asking you, I'm going to try it out. You'll see" He mused before going downstairs before me.
After that awkward statement, I headed to the bathroom. Combed my hair and brushed my teeth, all I needed was five minutes and I was done. I walked downstairs, where Craig is probably waiting for me.
I'm not going to lie. I like getting attention from Craig. I've been ignored all week so I must really crave it by now. I'm finally noticing Craig isn't that bad, and hey, if he keeps my mind off of Stan, why not?
"Done" I said while I looked at my phone. It said 7:18 pm. If we leave now, we'll get there right on time. We wouldn't want to be late now would we?
"Alright, then let's go." He mused with an indifferent expression, while he motioned me over to the main door of my household."By the way, why isn't anyone home?"
"They are off visiting relatives, so they might not be here for at least 5 more days." I shrugged. I never liked going with them at those kinds of trips. I have a feeling my relatives don't even like me so I don't bother.
"Sounds boring." He said with his monotone voice. Finally someone who agrees…
"Tell me about it. Let's get going then" I said while I walked out the door, he nodded and followed.
Craig didn't bother to start a conversation, neither did I. But I knew we were both very comfortable with this silence.
I took a peek at Craig, who had his hands inside his coat. He looked like he was thinking of something but I couldn't bring myself to ask him.
The weather was cold, after all my time here I still can't seem to get used to the temperature. I reacted with rubbing my hands together and occasionally bringing them up to my mouth so I could warm them up.
"You cold?" Craig asked, while stopping.
I felt sort of a déjà vu. This situation was all too familiar.
"A little, it's nothing to worry about." I averted my gaze, this was embarrassing.
"I heard the teachers saying you are weak and get sick really easily. So here" Craig grabbed my hand and held it. "Let's go, put your other hand in your coat too"
His hand was surprisingly really warm; it felt nice "H-Hey stop it. The teachers are exaggerating, n-no need to do this…" I jerked my hand continuously to let go of his grasp but I failed miserably.
I looked at him and I was shocked…. He was smiling. "What…?" My face was burning up; I couldn't believe even someone like Tucker could smile like that!
"C'mon, it's only for a while." He continued walking. It felt strange, really strange. How could Craig do this so nonchalantly?
The rest of the way was awkward. I really really hoped no one saw us holding hands. It's weird enough as it is. But I had to say, I'm glad Craig did this because, even if it was just for a little bit, I forgot all about Stan.
"Um, we're here… could you uh… possibly let go?" I tried pulling my hand away from his grasp but it didn't quite work.
"Don't you like this?" He questioned, while looking actually somewhat curious.
"That's not what I mean; it's just that it's weird… And the guys are there so… could you please?" I asked shyly, while looking away from him.
Craig chuckled "You know Kyle; you can change a lot in just a couple of hours. You're actually quite cute"
"Don't say that… stop it" I said, flustered. This is way beyond my control now. I don't know how to handle a side of me I never knew I had… it's hard.
"Alright alright, see? I'm letting go." Tucker said before completely letting go of my hand. I sighed in relief in response.
"Why did you do that?"
"You were cold."
"Didn't need to do that… L-Lets just not mention this to anyone… alright?"
"Fine." He flipped me off before entering the mansion.
Craig is intriguing, unpredictable. Always filled with surprises but, I never actually thought he would do that. Maybe he really did it only for me to lay loose a while…Tucker's a good guy, contrary to common belief. Definitely the opposite of Stan.
I quickly followed and jogged up the familiar stairs. I've been here a few times, so I knew almost where everything was. Although I come here often, I don't really know how to feel about Token. He's a smart ass like Cartman, except he can be nice sometimes.
Which makes me wonder. Has Cartman gotten quieter? I've heard he was obnoxious and always had something offensive to say, but apparently he stopped after I came into their group. It's strange to say at the least. But he always seems to love fighting with me, which is downright annoying.
"Hey" I said while I entered the room all my friends were in. Everyone waved and greeted as I went and sat on the couch near them. Stan, who was on the same sofa, scooted close to me and smiled, my annoyance of the past week got the better of me so I pretended to not see it. From the corner of my eye I could see Stan blinking in confusion.
Good
"Now that everyone's here… let's get on to the drinking!" Yelled Kenny in glee, everyone cheered furiously in response.
"Happy birthday Kenny" I smiled. I could tell from the blonde's reaction, that he was happy, which strangely enough made me happy as well. "Thanks dude. Appreciate it"
On cue, Clyde came in with a box filled with snacks; next to him was Eric, who was bringing the beer. The things I could identify was Pabst blue ribbon, and some regular potato chips and dip containers.
"Let's make Kyle have his first beer!" Exclaimed Kenny while lifting his beverage up high. Everyone cheered in response. I had a bad feeling about this.
I jerked my head back and forth, looking at everyone's expressions. They were all smirking, except Stan, who was smiling at me. Somehow that made me feel at ease.
Tweek brought me a beer and smiled before returning back to his original spot. Everyone stared at me intently, waiting for movements. I chuckled nervously before gulping some dry saliva that I had in my mouth. I didn't like this attention so I just got it over with.
I took a sip
Everyone cheered once more, as if I had won a trophy or something. The beer itself was strange; I didn't like the flavor as much as I thought I would. Since apparently everybody seems to enjoy it. However I didn´t hate it either, so I would definitely try it again when I have the chance.
"How was it?" asked Craig.
"It's good I guess…" I said sheepishly, while giving a reassuring smile.
That was enough to make everyone cheer again. They all started chugging down beers and having fun, honestly I wouldn't like these kinds of parties but this one in particular is pretty enjoyable. They started the music. Some began dancing, others played Guitar Hero.
Although, regardless of all the fun I had, it made me feel guilty that Stan wasn't enjoying it. He was alone in the corner just watching everyone. I sensed that he wanted to get near me but Craig always kept me occupied with something. Which I had to thank for that.
But I wasn't going to let him stop me. I bet he has all kinds of fun with Wendy.
Craig stood with me the whole party. Doing everything I did. Had to admit, it was fun being with someone who wasn't Stan. All I needed to do was give someone a chance.
And that's where I began drinking a little too much.
Stan's POV
This party is boring. Everyone's having fun; even Kyle is having fun, but not me.
Kyle and I barely talk anymore, I think he's angry about that whole Wendy thing, He´s be avoiding me all this party. And I'll admit, it's kind of my fault also. We did everything together until the day she came back to South Park; it's obvious he felt lonely.
It makes me feel like crap, and every time I try to get near him now, he shrugs me off and leaves to talk with Craig. It's annoying.
Craig isn't even a good person; he is a careless asshole that hates people. He is the only person I dislike other than Cartmen, yet, he is friends with Kyle! I know Kyle isn't the happiest of people but I know for sure he is a good person, and it would be a bad influence on him if he kept hanging out with him.
Speaking of which, I haven't seen them both in a while. It worries to me to think that they are alone somewhere…
Alone…
I quickly got up and started looking for them. I asked Clyde and Token, but they claimed to have not seen either of them.
The room itself was big but small enough for me to look around quick. I took a slight glance at ever corner and still no Kyle to be found.
Maybe he left the room.
I went outside and walked down the stairs. What could Craig be doing with Kyle outside the room?
But then I suddenly remembered something.
Craig is gay…
Oh no…
He can't be after Kyle… right? It's silly! Kyle's not exactly gay and they are two very different people. Yup… impossible.
Craig's doing it to upset me. He knows that Kyle is my friend and he's trying to take him away from me. He hates my guts so much he's doing something petty like that to get to me. I might need to stand up and confront him about it.
After I went down the stairs, I saw Craig helping Kyle walk. It seems he got too much to drink. He kept asking Kenny for beer, I would have stopped him but even Craig doesn't let me get close anymore!
"Craaaaig, I hate my life…." Kyle whined while trying to stay standing. I could almost hear him hiccup. His eyes were squinting as if he was trying to keep himself awake, his face however was red, a perfect demonstration of something who is inebriated "Do you now? You're way too drunk Kyle. You should have known the first time is always the worst"
"Craaaaig, why does Stan hate me so much? I think he is awesome! He's great and hot… why won't he feel the same for me? Am I really that ugly and stupid?" Kyle blurted out.
I'm hot? Kyle thinks that I am hot? I stood there, speechless. Does he really feel that way about me? My face began burning and only thing I did in reaction was to cover my mouth.
"I don't think he hates you, he just likes Wendy more" Craig answered bitterly, almost scoffing.
"I knooow I knooow. It's probably the first time I like someone so much that I feel jealous! Stupid huh?" Kyle exclaimed while laughing as if it was actually funny. It made me feel terrible.
"It was a worthless crush, you can find better"
"Oh really? Like who?" Kyle pouted and stared at Craigs eyes. He looked vulnerable, I hope Craig doesn't take advantage of that…
"Like me" He said before pulling Kyle in for a kiss.
Strangely enough, I felt jealous. Just what is going on with me? Kyle is my friend, my friend. It's just weird that someone confessed themselves indirectly and somebody else wants to change their mind. Has to be it.
Although, what he did made my undying hate for him grow significantly. Craig mother fucking Tucker just made this personal.
They ended their session and stared at each other. After the silence, Kyle grinned spoke "Wow"
"C'mon. You're done for the night, let's go" He dragged Kyle towards the exit. Once he got there, the red-head collapsed which made Craig sigh in annoyance. He swiftly got the un-conscious teenager onto his back and continued.
I felt the urge to follow them but I couldn't bring myself to do so. What if they are going to Craig's house? Who knows what might happen there. That thought made me twitch. Why can't I go and do something about it? Why am I so hesitant to help Kyle?
These mixed feelings are unbearable.
I looked at my phone and saw a message from Wendy.
Hi Stan… I was wondering if you wanted to come over and have some "fun" ;)
This was sent 4 hours ago. I wonder if it still applies…
I built up my courage and took my chances, so I dialed her number.
"Hey Wendy…"
"Stan, it's 1:34 in the morning, what is the matter with you?"
"No nothing I just wanted to see you…"
"That was literally almost 5 hours ago, are you nuts?"
"Sorry…"
I heard her sigh "Fine. Just try to be quiet when you sneak in ok?"
"Got it. I'll be there in a bit" was the last thing I said before I hung up.
I'm a terrible person. My frustration has nothing to do with Wendy; there is no reason for me to use her. I hate this.
I know good and well what's going to happen there. And I'm already having second thoughts about it. That Kyle incident really got to me. I know sex isn't the answer, I even wonder why I am doing it in the first place.
I sighed in annoyance as I headed my way to Wendy's house.
I'm not one for revenge but I'm going to make sure Craig gets what he deserves. Just you wait, asshole…