"You're marrying a Turian?" Chakwas blurted out, her surprise evident as she stared at Jane. The woman yanked off her button up uniform and tossed it onto the chair opposite in the med bay. "I don't suppose he proposed?"

That got a dry look before Jane buried her face in her hands, "I'm so pissed off. I have my entire life planned out for me by the Council. I'm to marry Vakarian within the next couple months, they debated whether to force us to have two distance ceremonies to honour both cultures or to have one and blend them. So, now we have to go to Earth and get married there and then go to Palaven, his world, to be 'joined' in his culture so it's official. Then we're on leave for half a year to live together on the Citadel where we'll be doing official reports and making sure that both sides are doing as the treaty is said."

Chakwas shook her head, "That's ridiculous. Arranged marriages stopped completely at the beginning of the 22nd century. Who suggested it?"

"Udina," Jane bit out, "That son of a bitch. He acted so proud afterwards. If it wasn't for Anderson, I would've knocked him out."

The woman sighed, "I thought you would've put up a bigger fuss than this, Jane."

"I tried to. Udina threatened to ground my ship and inform Admiral Hackett and the others that I was vying for a continuation of the war because I'm 'blood thirsty'," she spat out, "Ever since that one mission I've been declared ruthless. Hell, my reputation was put on the line but they decided that my skills are more useful during a war. It will work to his plan; the board will think I want to continue to fight against the Turians. I'll be court-martialled and relieved of my ship, crew, and everything I've worked so hard to try for."

Chakwas' brow furrowed before she reached into one of the cupboards. "That is horrible, how did that man become our Ambassador with politics like that?"

"Well, as Machiavelli said: 'Politics have no relation to morals,'" Jane said, rubbing her face as frustration continued to build in her stomach. The sound of liquid pouring into glasses filled the med bay. She directed her gaze towards Chakwas, who held out a glass of Serrice Ice Brandy. She grabbed her glass and down the liquid, ignoring the burn.

"Did this Vakarian approve of this?"

"I don't think so. I can't tell what Turian facial expressions mean but his mandibles were pulled in tight and he didn't meet my eye when we were 'introduced'. I think he was just as pissed off as I was. Meaning this won't be a happy marriage…and god damn it, why am I even still considering this? I could very well go and demand to leave Council space. I'd rather live running from the Alliance rather than spend the rest of my life with a Turian."

A sigh escaped her lips and she stared at some of the medical beds. That wasn't true at all. While the prospect of living with a Turian was awful, she couldn't be on the run again.

Once she told Udina exactly what she thought of him, she headed as fast as she could for her ship and then went to Chakwas. What she needed was alcohol in her system. The faster it got into her blood, the faster she could try to forget what had happened.

She sighed, and gave the woman an apologetic look, "At least you won't have to worry about me living with you anymore."

"I've never worried about that, Jane, if I were to be completely honest, I've entirely enjoyed the days you've spent in my home. Don't worry about this marriage, you'll either learn to love him or you'll learn to put up with him in the very least."

Jane pulled a face, "Love a Turian? Like I'd ever do that. God, I feel sick just knowing that they expect us to consummate our marriage, as if that would make our 'bond' that much more unbreakable. I need to just get away from this all."

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, attempting to scrub away her memories. "I don't think the Alliance has any missions for me to do, and even if they did I've probably been grounded until they're sure I won't run off."

The door to the med bay hissed open and Anderson walked in; it closed shortly behind him and turned red as it relocked. Chakwas lifted the brandy but the man shook his head. "Jane, I got in contact with Admiral Hackett, he was just as surprised about this as all the others. No one agrees with this."

"I think it's a bit past the point where disagreeing with it will stop it from happening. Udina and the Turian Ambassador signed the document. It's legally binding."

"Your name wasn't on the document. There's still a way out."

"How?" she asked, "By getting someone else to marry Vakarian? That'll be condemning another human to him. You heard Udina, he chose me and he wants me to go through with this or I'll lose everything I've worked so hard to get."

"So…you want to go through with this," Anderson didn't state it as a question, but Jane knew he wasn't stating it as a fact either.

"I'd be more willing to marry an ugly krogan than a bird, but I suppose I don't have much choice in the matter."

"They are our allies now, and using slurs is counterproductive, Jane. If you truly see no other choice, then I will tell you this. If the Turians make any sort of move that is against the treaty and it looks like the war is to reignite, you are to execute Vakarian."

Jane ducked her head at the scolding but it immediately perked back up as she was informed of her task. Morally, she thought it was questionable. Killing her husband? Ugh. She had to stop thinking about him like that. He wasn't her husband yet and she didn't know even after she married him that she would be able to consider him her spouse. The thought was awful.

The thing about Vakarian, however, was that she never met him before and it was easy to theoretically agree to it. So, she did. Anderson looked like he wanted to take back what he said, but he didn't. Instead he squeezed Jane's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jane. If it was my decision I would have never included that in the list of demands. The Council and the Turians should've rejected it."

Jane released a breath; "Maybe if Kaidan had proposed sooner…" she trailed off bitterly.

Chakwas and Anderson shared a look. Chakwas reached forwards and placed her hand on the woman's knee. "Don't worry about the past and look to the future."

"A future where I'm thrust into a loveless marriage, have to be on shore leave for six months. Also be completely incompatible with my husband? Yeah, the future looks much better than the past."

Standing up, she downed her third glass and shook her head. "Sorry, I'm not much company. We'll stay here for a week; get any repairs and upgrades we need done. I doubt the Council wants me going far, but if we're allowed to leave at the end of a week, we'll return to Earth."

With that, she turned and left the room. The hiss of the med bay doors as they closed behind her had a sense of finality, and it filled her with dread. The elevator ride up to the CIC where her quarters were, seemed to take forever, and she moved as fast as she could to the room to avoid the pity in the people's eyes as she walked past. Once her door closed she slid down it and stared at the ceiling.

This was all so fucked up.

Hours before she was dating Kaidan, as in love with him as she could be with only seeing him every couple months, they served on different ships after all. Major now, she reminded herself, he didn't bother to inform her of his promotion. That cut her in a way that she didn't think she could be. It was ridiculous, of course there were bigger things to worry about rather than just some simple promotion when the Turians were attacking them. After all, there was always a fight to be fought, or someone to kill. There was barely enough time for her to send off a message to him, and he even said, she didn't ask.

Though, she wanted him to tell her these things. She had wanted him to get excited to tell her, and wanted him to have rushed towards her and pull her into a hug when he saw her on the Citadel. There were so many wants but he hadn't done anything to give her them. She bitterly wondered what it would've been like if he had proposed to her, where they would've settled down, where they would've raised kids. She wondered if they would've come to live on the same ship until the end of the war or if they would've still served on separate ships and just suffered through the torment of being separate from each other.

Now, she was marrying a man she didn't know, who seemed as angry about the arrangement as she was. What was worse was they didn't share the same culture, the same foods, the same language. The only thing she had in common with Garrus Vakarian was number of kills, and nothing pissed her off more. They were putting together two people together as a power play, sticking two dangerous soldiers into the same space for a lengthy stretch of time.

What were they thinking?

Couldn't it have been two politicians? Someone people knew?

It was a bitter thought when she realized the answer. No. They couldn't. They needed someone who had scarcely any qualms about killing someone in the name of the Alliance. That was her.

Ever since she had killed surrendering Turians and sent some of her men to die, they called her 'Ruthless'. Yet, they didn't know the entire story. The men who went in weren't suppose to die, it was suppose to be a routine Intel search, no Turians were suppose to be in that outpost, that was what the information given to her said. She and a few others had waited outside, planning the next part of the mission when she heard the screams. By the time she got inside, her team had was decimated. the Turians shot at them, but most were slaughtered by the now angry and ready marines. The few that were left tried to surrender, but Jane knew that the ones who were sent in would've tried to surrender; they were recruits and hadn't been battle hardened yet. She gave each of those Turians a clean death, which she could've turned into gruesome deaths like they gave her team, but she didn't.

Sending in her report, she was recalled to Earth and nearly court-martialled for that. The board was trying to keep the war as black and white as possible. Killing on battlefields. Not kill surrendering soldiers. If there was to be peace, they wanted the Turians to look at the humans as if they were defending themselves or fighting against them. Not slaughtering their people like beasts.

However, the story got out and the 'minor' details were erased. People wanted a ruthless killer; they wanted someone that would get the job done. Men and women signed up under her, wanting to her to lead them to glory. Citizens thought that she would protect them and not care about the damn birds in the slightest. She would do everything it took to get the job done.

Now, the citizens had been looking up to a woman who would be marrying a Turian. Those who served under her would would be serving on a ship beside a woman who would be marrying one of the enemies.

A bitter laugh escaped her throat.

Part of her was scared of this entire…endeavour. To be forced to marry someone she didn't love was one thing. However, she was being forced to marry someone whose kind she had been killing. Living with him would take all her self-restraint to stop herself from reacting violently if he scared her or if she was nervous about a situation. The whole prospect was daunting, and not just on a personal level. She had to make it work, the peace of the war depended on it.

To see a Turian and Human coexisting and getting along was what her people needed, even if it was a political match.

A sigh was all it took before she stood up. Self-pity and anger wasn't going to get her anywhere.

First, she needed to clear her head, brandy and anger was clouding it up to much for her to do anything.

Second, she wanted to get out of her dress blues and into something more suitable for walking around the Citadel.

Lastly, she needed to find out where Kaidan went off to. They needed to talk about it. What Anderson said was true, they needed to end it. As much as she didn't want to, they had to. For the sake of their people. They were Alliance first, lovers second.

Hopefully, he saw it the same way.

A quick trip to the showers, an icy shower, helped to calm her down and rid some of the affects of the alcohol from her system. When she got to the airlock; she was wearing civvies and sending a message to Kaidan to meet her at a restaurant to talk about it. Wearing her civvies, she hoped neither Turian nor Human would recognize her besides those closest to her. It wasn't like she was famous, but if someone who knew about her future marriage saw her with a human...things could get out of hand.

The rumor mill was quite dangerous at times.

Leaving her ship and moving around the Citadel was easier than she thought it was going to be. She had already went through immigration the moment her ship had docked, recognizing her as Alliance and human, and giving her clearance to most sections of the Citadel. Thankfully, it wasn't as long as a process as some would claim, though she didn't have to go to the immigration office and do a shit ton of paperwork to be able to go through.

After talking to Avina, her Omni-tool got an updated map of the Citadel, and imputing the coordinates gave her a route to the restaurant where she would be meeting Kaidan.

The thought of meeting up with him should've made her move faster, a smile on her lips, but it just made her drag her feet and feel worry building in her chest. What if he didn't show up, or if he didn't see the situation the same way as she did.

It was all giving her a headache, one she didn't want to have.

A beep came from her Omni-tool, announcing a message. A reply from Kaidan.

Shepard,

I agree we have a lot to talk about…good meeting place; the Apollo Café is apparently very diverse in what it offers. Maybe we'll get to eat something from Earth?

-Kaidan

She resisted to snort. It was a huge long shot to hope that the Citadel offered food for humans when they were the first humans on the Citadel. However, she appreciated his optimism. For what was to come, she'd need all the optimism she could get.