Whenever I write a story, I do my best to make it come to life. I got a few pointers on how to not to mix my story with excerpts from the book. So, this is for you. I hope you will like this chapter better. This is the rewrite of Chapter Three and Four written by me. Now of course, I didn't change the dialouge. But I did make it flow smoother I hope. So enjoy and review! :)

EPOV

My world was wrapped in dark and for the first time since waking up as a vampire, my eyes were blind. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel. I had no purpose. I was numb. And Esme…Esme was gone.

This absence of feeling within my being was strange and foreign to me. I couldn't quite place my finger on why. But it seemed as though I'd become a shell. A shell that harbored no soul. Maybe that was the reason I wasn't crying?

I looked around the forest and the weeping faces of each person around me. Interweaving wails of agony sang into the forest of the night like a call of the wild, a call of the wolf. And they were primal. It seemed I was the only one who was able to think clearly.

With Esme gone, I was less than a ghost. Less than a vampire, even. With Esme gone, I was less than a man. I felt lost without her, as though my whole world had ended. She had always given me direction with Bella. Contrary to popular opinion, I always listened to Esme. And what she told me, I did. I always did. I couldn't remember a single time I had disobeyed her. I just, couldn't. She was the world to me. And now it seemed, my world was shattered.

The loss of Bella was nothing to me against the loss of Esme. And with a righteous burst of anger, I ran. At first, I didn't know where exactly I was running to. But nevertheless, I ran.

Oddly enough, my feet carried me towards Bella's house. And at that moment, I made a descision. I was suddenly getting a beeping on my cell phone. And I knew it would be Alice. I knew she had seen what I was deciding. I knew she would warn me against it. But I was here now. And there was nothing anyone could do. It was time.

And so I waited in the foreset for only a breathe, my sensitive eyesight picking up a silent Bella working on the dishes on the kitches. And I heard the slight noise of the TV as Charlie watched the screen.

In that moment, I hated Bella. Bella was nothing like Esme. Her hair was lank. Dead. While Esme's hair flowed around her heart shaped face. Bella's eyes a plane muddy brown while Esme's turned to the deepest gold imaginable. Bella only thought about herself, while Esme thought about everyone. The differences between the two were astonishing.

But the biggest differences that I could see, was that Bella was not Esme. And so I had no interest anymore.

And within seconds, I found how she disgusted me. Her perfectionist habits. How she always repeated things in an endless cycle. How nothing ever seemed to end around her! I hated Bella because she was nothing like Esme. My Esme.

It was odd. Her face really did look so innocent as she stood there, thinking. But I knew the truth. There was an unspeakable evil hidden behind that innocent mask, waiting for her next victim. But she would never get another chance. Because I would destroy her, for destroying Esme.

BPOV

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Rinse. Stack. Grab.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Rinse. Stack. Grab.

Swish and swash, swish and swash, swish and swash. Plop. Clang, Click.

I grabbed dish after dish, trying to quiet my hectic mind. I thought that maybe if I worked hard enough, my brain would stop thinking. If only I could put myself in the moment. But my thoughts continued to race, one after the other, each with their own paticular sting.

Usually, my mind was not this hectic. Me and my father would eat supper, and than he would part ways. Him to his favorite recliner and sport. Me to the sterling sink. I would wash the dishes. He would watch commercials. It was a comfortable companionship, what me and my father shared. So different from a relationship I'd had with my mother. Or Angela. Or Alice. But Especially Edward. And that was the cause of my hectic mind.

Normally, Edward would never stay away from me. He would hunt while I ate supper with my father. Or he would rush up to my bedroom and listen (which embaresssed me to no end). But I didn't mind! Of course I didn't! Because at least Edward was there.

After dinner,I would have what Carlisle had coined as my "human moment" (we'd been using the word ever since). Than I would go into my bedroom and cuddle with my Edward until I feel asleep.

But tonight was different.

I hadn't seen much of Edward since the night of the party. And when I had seen him, he showed no interest in me whatsoever. It almost seemed as though he had to force himself to be around me. And though it broke my heart, it didn't break my mind. For some reason, I knew what was coming. It wouldn't make it hurt any less. But I was prepared. I was strong.

One thing about Edward is that he always underestimated me. That was why he was always a second or a centimeter to late. It was why he decided to always stay with me. That way, he could always be there so he wouldn't be "too late". However, I was smarter than Edward originally thought I was and much more than he gave me credit for.

I didn't know everything. All I knew was that what me and Edward shared, came to an end the moment James bit me. Our relationship changed. He wasn't distant. But something had left his eyes. And I knew I no longer interested him.

So I didn't hold on and I decided I would let go when the time came. I had no idea when that time would be, but I almost wished I could ask Esme to let it end. I knew she was the one keeping me and Edward together. But really, it was making Alice tense. It was making Rosalie angry. Jasper hardly ever talked about it. And I knew that on some level, Carlisle disapproved.

I just couldn't get over the fact that they were all so disapproving of me, when at first, they had seemed so close.

But this gave me the clue I needed. The clue about Edward's distance.

And that clue was based upon a feeling that he wasn't just still angry or upset with whatever had happened with my birthday party. This was something else entirely. And I wished it were nighttime. I wished I could make a wish upon a shooting star. And I hoped upon vain hope that were true.

Because if it were, I could wish upon that star for things to go back to the way they were. A time where Edward's love, made his family happy. A time where Edward's name, would be the safest haven I could possibly ever have.

It's really too bad that doing the dishes only kept the hands busy. I sighed.

EPOV

I watched from a distance as her hands worked methodically with the dishes. I could see she had only a few more left to do. So I decided to interrupt her than. She would have something to distract her when I was gone. She wouldn't have to face the pain, which in turn would only make the pain worse. I smiled. The ultimate revenge.

As soon as I thought about it, I was at her open window. As silent as a tomb. I quickly registered she was thinking about something. Though I couldn't make myself care for what. Even her silent mind, which normally intruiged me, held nothing. Nothing kept me here. And now that Esme was gone, I was relieved of the burden of Bella. I almost smiled.

"Come take a walk with me."

BPOV

"Gah!"

I dropped the dish and water splattered everywhere, while heat rushed to my face, coloring me a deep red.

Well, that was embarrassing.

But there was no warmth in Edwards eyes at my slip up. At the reminder that I was human. In fact, all I could see in his eyes was annoyance. He looked at me like he no longer cared, like I was a bug. A bug that could be squashed so easily.

"Edward, you scared me."

And he had scared me even more with the perversion my favorite crooked smile. It didn't reach his eyes.

"Yes, I have the tendency to do that from time to time. Now come for a walk with me."

There was no expression on his normally glorious expressional face. There was nothing at all. His words were crisp, clear, and biting. I I flinched away from him automatically.

I'd heard all of Edward's tones before. And I knew this one. I had no choice but to come with him. Once again, he was making a descision for me. And before he could say it…No! Don't think like that Bella!

And after that, I froze. I felt shocked for a moment. Than wary. It was beginning to rain outside and the last thing I wanted was to be sopping wet. Why would he want to take me out into the woods when it rained? He knew I would be likely to catch a cold. Especially with his temperature. Forever frozen at 32 degrees below zero.

This wasn't something Edward usually did. But, nevertheless, I relented.

"Ok, let me grab my coat."

Once I'd donned the warm comforting material, we went outside.

Edwards strong cold hand lightly pulled me to the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. And I began to panic. This is bad, this is very bad.

EPOV

I could tell Bella was following me unwillingly, and that she was panicking. She didn't want to come with me. She didn't want to follow me. Her heart was beating a mile a second and her pulse skyrocketed through the roof.

But that only set to further steel my resolve. She was afraid of me. Good. She needed to be. It was normal.

We didn't go far into the foreset. Only a few steps into the trees. In fact, we were barely on the trail at all. And I could still see the house, which meant that Bella would be able to find her way back.

I took a defensive, callous, cold, uncaring position, leaning against a tree with an unreadable expression.

All breath was held for an impregnable silence when Bella stopped fidgeting and looked me in the eye.

"Ok, let's talk."

I took a deep breath and began.

"Bella, we're leaving."

She took a deep breath as well, but only for the purpose of calming herself down. I didn't really need one.

"Why now? Another year—"

I cut her off rudely.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

I could tell she was slightly confused and I stared back coldly, not speaking. Bella looked like she was going to be sick when she finally realized what I had said.

"When you say we —," I whispered.

"I mean my family and myself." Each word was separate and distinct. I felt slightly guilty for treating Bella less than intelligent. But honestly? Who cared? All those times she had spoken to me the truth, I hadn't listened. But now, I was. She was right. This was no longer 1917.

I watched as she shook her head back and forth, dazed. And she swallowed the lump in her throat before she spoke.

"Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."

I almost rolled me eyes. Please don't. "You can't, Bella. Where we're going… It's not the right place for you." Ain't that the truth? I almost smiled.

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Bella." I was getting annoyed.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life."

Oh I am, am I? And what about your precious Carlisle? My words were as grim as my heart.

"My world is not for you." And neither is anyone in it. You do not deserve me. You more than do not deserve Carlisle. You killed Esme.

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

"You're right," I agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

Stupid, ignorant, bratty, weak, clutzy-

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—"

Did I mention childish? Had she really gone as far as to complain?

"As long as that was best for you," I interrupted to correct her. My annoyance was fading to anger quickly. This was taking too long.

"No ! This is about my soul, isn't it?" Her words were half furious and half pleading. This was just sad. I should never have gotten involved. She was so dependent. In fact, I was not the drug user. I realized that now. Bella was. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!"

I took a deep breath and stared unseeingly for a moment at the ground, taking advantage of my turn to collect myself. She wasn't getting the message. I didn't want to have to do this did I? There were many parts of me that really did. Better not delay the inevitable.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

She gasped. "You…don't…want me?"

"No."

Bella had a hard time understanding what I was trying to tell her. I could tell. She searched my eyes for something that wasn't there. Something I couldn't give. And spoke in a dead voice.

"Well, that changes things."

I was surprised by how calm and reasonable she sounded. Was she numb? Or was it because of her great love for Carlisle?

I couldn't look at her again as I spoke. "Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

Her tiny voice whispered, lost. She was finally getting the message. "Don't. Don't do this."

I hammered the nail into the proverbial coffin, turning the tables on Bella.

"You're not good for me, Bella." She really wasn't.

She forced out the words.

"If… that's what you want."

I smiled and nodded once.

She didn't move for a while. And I finally realized that she couldn't. She was numb.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much."

"Anything." Her voice was faintly stronger. But only just. I had just broken up with her and she still wanted to give me whatever I wanted? Now that was the epitome meaning of the word sad.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded, acknowledging that she understood.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself for him."

I nodded again. "I will," she whispered.

I nodded my head, pleased.

"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

Her knees shook and I found myself fascinated. Was she getting dizzy? Aw, how cute. I smiled gently.

"Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" she asked. I doubted they would bother me much, if at all.

"Well, "I hesitated for a short second, trying to think of how I should explain without being too cruel. "I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted." I smiled deeply.

I took a step away from her. "Well, that's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

She caught my plural use of the world. I was surprised she noticed it at all.

"Alice isn't coming back?" Her words held no volume. Thankfully, I was a good lip reader.

I shook my head slowly, watching her face.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" Her voice was blank with disbelief. What, was she in love with Alice too?

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

She looked rather dizzy and it seemed as though it took as the strength in her body to concentrate. I knew I would have to leave soon. I was beyond annoyed and angry now and it was taking everything within me not to kill the poor, sick, dependent mother killer in front of me.

So instead of concentrating on how much I wanted to kill Bella, I concentrated on the last time I heard the words "clean break".

I heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me and Bella the X-rays. You can see it's a clean break , his finger traced along the picture of her severed bone. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly . And this "wound" I had given her would heal just as easily, just as quickly. There was nothing more to say.

"Why are you doing this? Is it my soul? Or is it Jasper?"

"No. Neither."

"Tell me the truth Edward. Don't you think I at least deserve that much?"

I sighed. Yes, she did. I wasn't sure what it would do to her. But I decided that if I knew Bella, this would kill her till the day she died. And hopefully, it would rob her of her life.

"It's Esme. You killed Esme, Bella. She is gone. Forever. And it will always be your burden to bare. I can't be with you anymore now that she's not here."

Bella looked shell shocked at me like she couldn't make sense of the words I had just uttered. If there was any time to leave, it was now.

"Goodbye, Bella." The most calming quiet and peaceful words I had ever spoken. And than I was free.

"Wait!"

But I was already gone.

A/N Ok guys. That was the rewrite of Chapter Three. Here is the rewrite of Chapter four.