Chapter Two

THE SPY

"Kaoru-dono..."

Mou! Still with the "dono". I bare my soul to him not more than an hour and a half ago and he still does that "dono" thing. Really! Doesn't he realize that after everything I've told him, I don't deserve that honorific anymore? Honorific like that fits Tae, Tsubame, heck, even Megumi, but not dirty, soiled little ole me.

I think I'd rather he go with the Kaoru-baby Kyosuke so lavishly imparts on me. At least it's informal.

"Yes, Kenshin?" I respond anyway.

He opened his mouth, hesitated, then went on. "Should I coat the shrimp with breadcrumbs after I've dipped it in batter? Will it make the dish taste better?"

Ah. Hence the hesitation. I have still shown reluctance to be active in the kitchen. Frankly, I don't feel like manning the place just yet. Granted, the men of the Kamiya Dojo aren't as rowdy as the Shinsengumi, but cooking for others...eyargh...still gives me the willies. However, if I want to cope with his whole scenario, I might as well get with it. I told them the truth after all.

I smiled at him and gave him a demonstration while I instructed him. "You can coat it in crumbs, but you have to do it sparingly, or else your shrimp will just taste like it came out of a paper mill. Also, it's better if you make the batter dribble off a bit from the shrimp before getting it in the crumbs. Don't let the crumbs stand for too long out of the oil. The moment you coat, fry it, or else your shrimp will be a soggy, greasy mess. Do it like so..."

By the time I was done, there were six shrimps crinkling merrily in the pan, and just before they turned brown, I whipped them out with a scooping sieve.

"Oro..."

Couldn't believe it until you saw it could you, Kenshin? I suppressed my smirk and turned back to chopping the vegetables, my knife skills cutting the pieces into perfect, even strips. I think I'm showing off again, but it's been a long time since I cooked well in front of anybody.

Kenshin proceeded to do as he had been instructed. He did the whole thing flawlessly. The guy has a natural talent for culinary arts.

"Kenshin," I said, setting the vegetable pieces aside.

"Yes, Kaoru-dono?" He asked in response.

I should get this over with. "I'm thinking of seeing Kyosuke tomorrow, before he leaves..."

"I will go with you, Kaoru-dono," he said before I could finish.

Well, that confirms it. He will get involved whether I like it or not. It was stupid of me to even consider the possibility that he would let me do this on my own, since no such possibility, even in the four corners of hell, ever really existed. Now that I've told all of them, I realized that I should have kept Sano and Yahiko out of it.

Oh, there I go again. Once more, Kaoru: There was no way in hell that the brat and the rooster head would have kept their noses out of this either. Worriers, the lot of them, remember?

I gave a small sigh.

I'll see how it works out with Kyosuke. It's best we make the visit in secret, so that Sano or Yahiko don't get more involved than they already are. Or else, if only to delay the inevitable...shees.

Spies do, after all, work best in small numbers.

The following morning, Kenshin and I headed out of the Kamiya dojo, fending off the pickpocket's and the freeloader's inquiries with a convenient lie about going to the market to buy groceries. We still had to ignore their suspicious squints, but being the expert actress that I am, I think we managed to convince them. I do so hate this lying, especially now when I've told them so many truths, but it, like many of my other lies, was necessary.

Now, as we walked the path going to Kyosuke's current living quarters, Kenshin's silence was weighted. I don't know if it's because the magnitude of my revelations are only now dawning on him or because he's really thinking about something else.

I'd rather not ask. If I'm in trouble with him, I'd prefer be pushed than jump of my own free will. Sort of like standing on the edge of a cliff...

"Kaoru-dono," he began not long after.

Here it comes. "Yes, Kenshin?"

"Did you...ever encounter Saitoh?" He asked rather uneasily.

The poor dear. Should I spare him, or does he really want to know?

I decided to tell him the truth upon remembering that my new motto was no more lies. "Yes. I was stationed with his and Okita's squad for about one month."

His eyes flashed gold. "Did he hurt you?"

Oh Kenshin. Why torture yourself? "He did, but I was posted as a little girl. Hajime didn't like little girls. He just beat me once. My assignment with Squad 1 and 3 at the time was one of my easiest, I think, because there seemed to be no pedophiles in it. And Okita...he was the kindest...always so gentle."

Kenshin nodded. "That's good. At least he had the sense to treat you the way you deserved, unlike some people."

I smiled at him gently. Leader of the 1st Shinsengumi Patrol and Assistant Vice Commander, Souji Okita had showed me more affection than anyone in the Shinsengumi ever cared to impart. To the others, I was a pest, to Okita, I was the little girl who needed protection. Maybe the reason why I was untouched apart from Saitoh's beating was because Okita was around. Hmm...

I had called him Oki-niichan, and whenever I did, he smiled. I think Kenshin reminds me of him.

"Whenever there's a thunderstorm, I would go to Okita and he would let me crawl under the covers with him. Sometimes, when he sensed that the other men were getting too...rough, he would stay with me. I think it was to protect me from the others who might have ideas of...trying the little serving girl," I continued. "He is the only Shinesengumi I lament. Consumption shouldn't have taken him. He should have lived. And he would have been just like you, Kenshin."

He gazed at me with softened eyes. "Probably."

I smiled at him then turned my attention to our surroundings.

It was dirty, rough and totally bereft of order. Mou! It's just like Kyosuke to situate himself among the riffraff. This place is worse than Sano's part of town.

"Ugh! Kyosuke could be such a moron!" I grumbled, gingerly stepping over a very dirty puddle of water mixed with Kami-sama knows what.

Kenshin chuckled in amusement as he watched me avoid the grime.

"Let me help you, Kaoru-dono," he suddenly said when we found ourselves before a particularly wide pool of muck.

To my surprise, he lifted me by my waist, prompting my instant reaction to wrap my arms around his neck to keep my balance. He then carried me across with two large steps. The edge of his hakama was ruined, but my dress stayed as pristine as ever.

Carefully, he set me down, my surprise only beginning to settle down. "Kenshin, your clothes..." I said in a slightly embarrassed tone.

He grinned. "Better my pants than your kimono, Kaoru-dono," he said, his eyes staring down mine.

It was then I realized that we still had our arms around each other. Gently, I pulled away and smiled shyly. What the heck is wrong with me? Shy? Argh! This is all Kyosuke's fault. He's totally put me in emotional imbalance!

THE HITOKIRI

I watched as Kaoru walked away from me, her cheeks flaming from my boldness. Her adorable embarrassment endearing me to her even more than I thought possible. God...she smells good. I would never have done such a thing before all this. I would have done something like walk her around the puddle to get to the other side, but things have changed...because of last night.

She was a spy, during the Bakumatsu. I can handle that. She had been raped as a child. I can handle that, as long as I can get my hands on the bastards who did it. She can cook. I can certainly handle that, but...she doesn't love me the way I hoped she did? That I couldn't handle.

When she said the words..."I only love you as a friend," my heart...it stopped beating, then it shattered. It hurt so much to know that she had only been pretending.

Yes, there are other issues to think about, but I would be a hypocrite if I said that I could put off my feelings of pain for the other problems. They were all intertwined anyway. My Kaoru is in danger, and I must protect her. She is my life. If she dies, I die. There is nothing worth living for.

But then...she doesn't love me.

I think it's primarily my fault. She wouldn't have played if she knew she was pulling me in deep. I had put on such a good semblance of unaffected emotion that it convinced her it was safe to pretend without hurting my feelings. I should have shown her...so she would've...would've what? She would have stopped? If she had stopped, I would have fallen for her anyway.

Everything about her draws me, even her recent revelations. I think it only served to deepen my love for her all the more. Unlike before, she now seemed more reachable, more capable of understanding my pain, and like me, she is striving to live in this New World of peace, wanting to find happiness after so much suffering. We could do it together, she and I. Only...it seems she will not be willing to do such a thing as husband and wife. I thought we could, for a few minutes after her revelations, I thought we could. Even before her revelations, I had been seriously considering asking her to...but when she said those words...

Now, I seemed to have made an unspoken resolve to get her to love me, hence the rather aggressive advances. I don't know if I should. Like I said, there are other more important issues to worry about, but there are just matters that couldn't...shouldn't be put off.

A lot of things have changed about her overnight. Before all this, she liked doing that screaming and beating bit. I had thought it endearing, fitting perfectly with her innocence. I suppose now it would be ridiculous to say she was innocent, but that characteristic has certainly been replaced with something more profound. Wisdom. It showed too. Apparently, she had never been affected by Yahiko's name-calling. She always knew she was comely, she always knew she could cook, and she always knew that Yahiko never meant what he said. So the screaming and hitting had considerably lessened. Then there's this new-formed, or rather newly-revealed, poise she exuded in spite of the rather edged Shikeigai-speech that occasionally slips out of her. I have no doubt that her temper could still be called forth, perhaps to its usual frightening degree, but it's going to take more than an intoned "busu" or "ugly" to get it going for real. She had, in fact, shown it when Kyosuke first cropped up.

How could I possibly live with myself if I don't at least try to get this wonderful, strong and beautiful woman to fall in love with me?

I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but sitting by and doing nothing will not be one of them.

"Kenshin, hellooo! Are you waiting for something..." Merriment suddenly danced in her eyes as she looked at me over her shoulder. "...Honey-bunch?" She finished with a laugh.

She's playing again. Oh, what I would give for her to mean it. Well, probably not in that corny, mushy sense...

"No, Kaoru-dono. Sessha was just..." I said helplessly, catching up with her.

Kaoru gave a chuckle and linked her hand around my arm. "As zoned out as ever," she supplemented. "Really, Kenshin. Sometimes, I don't know what the heck you're thinking. And you know what, since I've been so honest and all that, do you think you can drop the 'dono'?"

I looked at her in mild astonishment, uncertain about how I should respond. "B-But Kaoru-dono..."

"Kenshin, puleez!" She sighed, the grin still on her face. "Enough already. You're...you're my best friend in the whole world. Best friends don't have 'dono' or 'san'. Please?" She asked softly, leaning her head affectionately on my shoulder.

I would give her anything she asked. Anything. How can I say no to her? Her gaze so full of honesty. Best friend...it hurts...but I ought to be content with that for now. "Yes, Kaoru..." I said in a low voice.

Her grin widened. "That's better. Now, where is this Hoteru Kurei? I bet it's crummy and dirty...just the way Kyosuke likes it. I bet he chose to stay in this part of town just to annoy me. The sleaze bag..." She let go of my arm to look at the establishments lined up at the side of the street.

I smiled a bit. The old Kaoru would never have said such things, but I'm really beginning to like this gritty side of her. It's very interesting and witty. Rather edged like Sano, but smarter. Like Megumi, but less malicious. Just right, just the way I love it.

We came upon the inn we were looking for and Kaoru looked up and down the run-down two-story building.

Kaoru's lip curled in distaste. "Eew. Didn't I tell you Kenshin? A rat-hole for one of the rattiest rats of the Bakumatsu."

"Kaoru-do...Kaoru," I began. It will take some getting used to. "Are you calling yourself a rat?" I asked with a slight smile.

She grinned. "Among other things. Let's go inside, Kenshin. The sooner we get this over with, the better."

She changed the subject. I never imagined Kaoru to have any self-worth issues. I thought that was reserved for me. She shouldn't have to feel any less than the rest of us, least of all me. I must have a talk with her concerning this...some other time.

We walked into the establishment and Kaoru immediately linked her hand to my arm again. I recognized the gesture for what it was. The other patrons were as seedy as the place. The men sitting about with women settled on their laps in the most immodest manner...hushed voices that were shady, not intimate...the men lounging about alone were quick to revert their eyes to Kaoru who was immeasurably comelier than the other women were. Her subtle act was a message that she was spoken for by me, and that she would have no takers.

I kept a calm seeming, but the first man who even attempts to make a proposition to her will see the edge of my sakabatou. The mere notion that any of them could even think they could solicit her got me indignant. Kaoru in no way looked liked a woman who would take such an occupation. What were they leering at?

"Room for two?" The innkeeper asked me from behind the counter.

It wasn't so much the question that got to me, but the suggestive arch of his eyebrow. I clenched my fist, but turning to Kaoru, I saw that no offense registered in her eyes. She looked calm and she would have answered the man off-handedly if she had been the one that had been asked.

"No," I replied through grit teeth. "We are here to see someone, de gozaru yo. Room...what is the number, Kaoru-dono?" I reverted back to the honorific, just to let the man know that Kaoru has my respect, and that she is nothing like the women here.

Some amusement glinted in her eyes and I knew she understood. Quite primly, she answered. "Room 5, I believe."

I turned back to the innkeeper. "Yes. Room 5. The gentleman staying in it is expecting us. You can verify it yourself."

The innkeeper scoffed. "Don't have to. Staying out of people's business s'what I do. Safer that way. Go on ahead."

Kaoru and I bowed and headed for the stairs.

I heard the innkeeper mutter, "Go on ahead to your orgy."

"Oro! That son of a...!"

"Hush Kenshin," Kaoru told me, squeezing my arm to stay my rising anger. "Let it go. His opinion doesn't matter to me."

I stared at Kaoru and saw that she was in earnest. How changed she is, indeed. Wiser. Well, she has always been wise, but she has never shown it in this manner before. I'm glad I'm getting to know this Kaoru better.

Climbing the steps, we came upon the rooms, the hallway littered with men and women chasing each other about, half-dressed. Some were sprawled against the floor and wall, high with opium, and the racket that went on behind closed doors...made me blush.

Kaoru sighed and shook her head. "Kyosuke, you pervert," she muttered to herself, detaching her hand from my arm and walking ahead of me to find Room 5.

I saw a man approaching her and I was about ready to give him a taste of my sakabatou's hilt when Kaoru raised a palm to his face in disgust.

"Please!" She snapped with her lips curled. "Even if I needed it, I'm not getting it from you!"

The man left her alone, muttering profanities about a frigid-bitch.

I ought to get him for that, but Kaoru is right. He isn't worth it.

Following close behind her, we reached the door marked "5".

I felt a flush creep up my cheeks when I heard sounds of passion emanating from behind the closed door.

Kaoru looked at me, a bit embarrassed herself. "I suppose we should wait a bit...Kyosuke should be...done...mou!"

I chuckled a bit. "Perhaps we should come back another time...?"

Kaoru shook her head. "Naa. Kyosuke probably isn't the Mr. Longevity type, if you know what I mean."

"Oro!" I exclaimed. I wanted to ask her just how she could tell. It has crossed my mind whether she had something with Kyosuke before, but I didn't want to entertain the thought. I still don't. Kyosuke isn't half worthy of her.

A loud groan ensued from inside, then a few more seconds later, there was a loud curse, from a woman.

Kaoru giggled. "See? What a loser!" She said, taking no time to rap her hand against the door. "Oi! It's me, Ikiro!"

She had used her Shikeigai name, I noticed, probably for security purposes.

I heard another curse, this time from a man.

"Dammit!" The woman with him yelled. "Haruna! I ain't done yet!"

Haruna? Maybe we have the wrong room. Or perhaps it's his other name.

Kaoru sighed. "Oh for heaven's sake! Nothing like a lousy lover to put a woman in a bad mood. Haruna! Open this door immediately!"

Well, Kaoru didn't seem bothered by it.

"Alright! Alright!" Haruna cried back. "Hold your horses! I'm there!"

The door swung open and there he was, Kyosuke himself, a clumsily put on robe covering his nakedness. The next thing I noticed was a strange odor emanating from the room. It smelled faintly of rotten eggs, but somewhat...diluted, as if it had been watered down by some kind of alcoholic substance. It wasn't pleasant at all.

Kaoru fanned her hand in front of her nose. "Pee-yeew! Kyosuke...this place needs some serious airing!"

I chuckled and was about to usher Kaoru inside when I froze in mid-gesture. I blushed upon seeing the woman taking cover in the sheets, a scowl on her face.

"Umm..." I began, looking away. "Perhaps the lady would want to get dressed first..."

"Nonsense," Kaoru said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the room with her, pushing Kyosuke aside.

"Come in," Kyosuke said sarcastically, shutting the door behind us.

Kaoru let her eyes rove and took a moment to grimace at a particularly hideous looking kimono hanging on the wall by a nail. It was purple, with gold trimmings and dotted with hundreds of tiny yellow dragons. "Ugh! That thing is atrocious! You've got horrible taste, Haruna."

Kyosuke glared at her. "I'd appreciate it if you leave my things alone. We clear on that? Yes? Greaaaat. Now give me a sec-"

Kaoru turned to the woman with a smile, cutting off Kyosuke. "Begging your pardon, ma'am, but this is quite necessary."

Goodness, Kaoru is taking this really well.

The woman frowned. "Well, you're mighty nice. Are you a whore too?" She asked, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a matchbox.

Kaoru chuckled. "Among other things."

Oro! There she goes again! She's as bad about her self-worth as I am!

Kyosuke rolled his eyes around and plucked a small pouch from his pile of things in the corner. He tossed it towards the woman and said, "Didn't I tell you that there will be no smoking in this room? Take your money and get out."

The woman gave a huff and picked the pouch up from beside her, along with her smoking paraphernalia. "Now I have to get off by myself because Mr. Two-Minutes can't hold his load," she muttered, wrapping the sheets around her as she got out of bed.

For goodness sake, she's so crass. I've never met a prostitute so free with her speech, and now, all I can really do was blush self-consciously. I would be lying if I said I've never dealt with whores before, what with the Bakumatsu and all, but back then, even Geisha lovers had some measure of modesty. Or maybe...they've always been crass, and it's just that the ones I came across with were too afraid of the Ishinshishi men to speak so liberally, particularly with the assassins...

"Look, I didn't pay you so I can pleasure you, so quit complaining." Kyosuke shot back.

"Hmph!" Said the woman, dropping her sheets and going for her kimono.

Oro! Now she's quite exposed!

I turned away completely, not at all amused. I should think a little self-respect was called for. She doesn't even know me.

Kaoru rolled her eyes around and gave me an apologetic look. She then turned to Kyosuke. "Get a clue, Haruna. You could at least be courteous enough to return the favor to the women you do."

Kyosuke smirked. "Care to show me how, Ikiro?"

I glared at him and pulled Kaoru closer to me, my gesture protective. "You will show nothing but respect for her," I found myself saying. In the past, I didn't react much to what people said to Kaoru. She didn't have to deal with such innuendoes before, and harsh words were something I have learned to disregard as nothing more than words, but now, I'm finding myself pushed to the limits of my patience. Nobody disrespects my Kaoru like this. She deserves better.

Kaoru's lips twitched. "I wouldn't touch you to scratch you, Kyosuke. Never have and I never will."

I found some comfort in her words, but just a little. He hadn't touched her physically, but I am yet to find out if she had anything emotional with him, which matters more. If that was the case, I am not too keen about any possibility of her rekindling anything with him, because yes, I am jealous. Jealous that he could immeasurably relate to what she had gone through and perhaps be able to help her the way I never could. I am being selfish, I know, and petty. But I have long since known how possessive I am of Kaoru. I can acknowledge that.

Kyosuke grinned and gave Kaoru a wink. "Frankly, I'm dying of curiosity. All those men wanting you in particular..."

Why, the no good...

Kaoru's face reddened angrily. "Don't you ever refer to any of that, H-Haruna!" She said with passion burning in her eyes. "I did nothing to pleasure those men in any way! If they liked pulling at my hair and beating me into submission, that's their trip, not mine!"

Oh koishii...no...those bastards!

"Easy on the jerk girl," the woman said in a somewhat compassionate tone.

Kyosuke snorted, leaning back on a standing desk. "Damn, girl. I thought we've gotten over those episodes. You weren't the only one raped out there. At least you have a pussy, so it didn't hurt much..."

I couldn't help myself. Rage came over me as I stepped forward and pulled out my sword, placing its tip gently on Kyosuke's throat. I'm not going to kill him, just threaten him. As Battousai I can be very good at it, and I intend to make him quail. My eyes are probably golden right now. I'm pissed to the high heavens. It's been compounding since Kaoru and I entered this godforsaken place, and now Kyosuke has nicked the last straw.

"K-Kenshin!" Kaoru gasped.

"Haruna," I said quietly as he froze and grew pale. "You will make no such references again. Not in any context, or I swear..."

"Er..." I heard the prostitute say, the rustle of her clothing audible as she shuffled towards the door in a hurry. "I have to go now. Bye!"

The western door slammed shut.

"K-Kenshin!" Kaoru hissed, clutching my arm desperately. "He isn't worth..."

"I know that, woman," I interrupted with deadly calm. "But there are places where I can hit him and shut him up for a week." My speech...it's gone Hitokiri as well. It couldn't be helped when I get this way. Not a hint of "sessha" anywhere. That's just fine. Battousai has always been more confident of himself.

"N-No need for anything like that, Himura..." Kyosuke stammered, slowly trying to inch away.

I jerked my sword a bit and he whimpered. Himura, he calls me. Pathetic.

I don't like him. If I hurt him, there's definitely no love lost. Damn bastard...

"Kenshin, please lower your sword," Kaoru told me in a gentle, swaying voice. "He'll apologize..."

"Then let's hear the apology," I growled, showing no mercy.

"I'm sorry, alright!" Kyosuke hastily said. "I'll never say anything like that again, but it's not like I never talked to her like that before..."

I glared at him and did not move. What does he take me for? His so-called apology is even more wretched.

"Kyosuke you idiot!" Kaoru admonished. "I ought to let him do with you as he pleases! What kind of an apology was that?"

"Okay! Okay!" Was his frantic response. "I was rude! I ought to wash my mouth with soap! I will never ever talk to her like that again, I promise! I promise! For God's sake! I'm nothing! Dirt, scum..."

"Go on," I told him with a cocked smile.

Kyosuke groaned miserably.

That will do.

I re-sheathed my sword and their breaths of relief prompted me to realize exactly what I had done. I blushed and gave Kaoru a shamefaced look. "Sessha apologizes as well, Kaoru...sessha does not like to hear other people disparaging you."

How quickly I go from Battousai to Rurouni these days. It wasn't as easy as that before, but I suppose Kaoru has that effect on me. I'm rather grateful for it.

Kyosuke scampered away from me. "G-gods..." He gasped, touching his throat and collapsing on the futon.

I blushed even more.

Kaoru sighed and gave me a weak smile. She patted my scarred cheek good-naturedly and then gave it an affectionate pinch.

Oro!

"Kyosuke deserved it anyway," she told me with a widening grin.

"Hey!" Kyosuke cried.

"Perv!" she told him loftily. "Those weren't better days, Kyosuke. I prefer that we not talk about it like some pretty little walk in the park."

A sour expression crossed Kyosuke's face. "Hey, I'm sorry if I offended your sensibilities, but I'll have you know that it's the way I deal with it. As you so pointedly told me, it ain't a walk in the park, so excuse me if I want to make light of it just so it ain't so heavy on my shoulders."

For a moment, I actually felt sorry for him. There was some measure of sense in what he said. People deal with their experiences in different ways. If getting over it meant for him to talk of it casually, then perhaps he shouldn't have been made to apologize for doing so. But then it occurred to me that he didn't have to force everyone else into his brutal therapy, most especially my Kaoru. It's quite apparent that whatever frankness she showed me on the subject of her feelings and past life, she shared only with me. I was certain that she had no intention to be so casual with everyone else, and on that conclusion, I will do everything in my power to keep anyone from forcing down the guards she had so carefully placed.

I have, in fact, proven my resolve by threatening Kyosuke without the slightest bit of mercy. Kaoru alone has the power to admit anyone through her emotional barriers, and while I'm around, I will let no one coerce her into giving up that right.

"Kyosuke-san, we came here to talk of other matters," I said, hoping to get the discussion started.

"Yes, and I'm sure you know what it is," Kaoru said, going primly to her knees and sitting on her heels.

I took my seat beside her and watched as Kyosuke settled a comfortable distance away from us.

"So, does this mean you're going with me to Yokohama?" He asked, clearly trying to calm his rattled nerves. I couldn't really see it. These...Shikeigai children are very good at hiding their emotions, but I could read ki, and his is telling me that he is desperately summoning his composure.

"Is it necessary that we all warn Banshio together?" Kaoru asked him. "If anyone found out that Kaoru Kamiya and Tenshio Kyosuke, who just both happened to be former Shikeigai sekkou, are travelling to meet yet another sekkou, what do you suppose will happen to us, hmm?"

Kyosuke rolled his eyes around. "Look smarty pants, I thought of that, but what are you gonna do, huh? You weren't planning on doing anything until I walked into your house yesterday."

I saw Kaoru's fist curling. That fist would have normally found its mark by now, but Kaoru was exerting monumental control on her temper. "Until you walked into my house, I was almost completely happy with my life and there was still a remote chance that my family would be safe, that I would die a quiet and uncomplicated death in some alley. But since you stupidly decided to contact me so blatantly, I am forced to do something about it because my entire family is now in danger! So excuse me if I'd appreciate a much better plan!"

Easy Kaoru. One of us has to keep our cool, ne? I have already lost mine earlier.

"Yeah well, biting my head off isn't helping," Kyosuke said loftily.

Kaoru turned to me with pleading eyes. "I wish he never walked into my house..." she told me miserably, as if Kyosuke himself wasn't there.

"Hey!" Kyosuke cried in protest.

I chuckled and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Kaoru..." I responded, gently reminding her to focus.

She gave a weary sigh then reverted her attention back to Kyosuke. "Fine. Kyo-chan, what are our objectives?"

I flinched a bit at the "Kyo-chan". So familiar with each other, these two...

Kyosuke frowned. "I should think you know that already."

"Mou! You're impossible!" Kaoru cried. "No, I don't know! What exactly do you hope to accomplish, Kyosuke? Find the killers, and then what? Kill them too? Have the cops haul 'em off? Or maybe we're just finding them so we can make their jobs easier!"

"Maa...Kaoru," I began in a soothing voice to temper hers that was already rising to higher levels. "It will be all right. I think we all agree that enough killing has occurred. Kyosuke-san?"

His ki jumped when I referred to him. Apparently, my earlier hostility of him is still fresh in his mind. "That is for certain, Battousai," he managed to say evenly. "We have to get to them before they get to us. Of course we'll let the police take care of them, provided they don't provoke us into defending ourselves and taking them out in the process."

A laugh, somewhat...less than lucid in its timber, rose from Kaoru. "Oh...no, no. I refuse! No more of that, Kyosuke...I've made so much progress..."

Kyosuke rolled his eyes around. "Look, it's not like we're certain to use that. I think you have another technique...wazzit called?"

"Kamiya Kasshin," Kaoru told him through pursed lips, the laughter gone from her eyes. "But do you realize how difficult it is not to resort to that other technique, Kyosuke? It's like an instinct clawing to get out. I will not let you put me, or Kenshin, in that situation."

What other technique? I can guess, but then they...she couldn't possibly have the same demons..."Kaoru, what are you talking about?" I finally asked.

Anxiety knotted her eyebrows. It was the same look she got of late every time she had to reveal a big secret. "Kyosuke, can you step out for a minute?"

Now Kyosuke looked extremely irritated. "I happen to be privy to your Bakumatsu habits-"

"It's not for me! It's for Kenshin! Now please!" Kaoru implored.

"Fine!" Kyosuke cried, rising to his feet. "Five minutes! Just five minutes and I'm coming back inside whether or not you're through talking to him."

Kaoru waved him off and nodded. He went to the door and stepped out of the room, closing us in. She then turned to me with troubled eyes.

I truly hope it's not as bad as it seems. "Tell me," I coaxed her gently.

Her gaze dropped to her fingers, which twitched inconsequentially. "The Ishin-Shikeigai agents were essentially just that, spies, but you have to understand that we were put in situations where we had to take...a less passive stance. We had to defend ourselves, and since the Ishinshishi thought we were near indispensable to the cause, they trained us to fight very effectively...and fatally, with cold-blooded detachment."

My stomach twisted. This sounds too familiar. Something I have heard before. Similar demons if not the same... "They taught you a killing technique," I concluded softly. "And it's so ingrained in you that..."

She nodded without lifting her eyes. "It's probably not as intense as your blood-lust Kenshin, but I have to fight mine down when the urge to defend is so strong. It doesn't matter if I'm defending myself or somebody else. The urge is the same."

How morbidly interesting. Now I know why she asked Kyosuke to leave the room. She had to mention my inner demons to make me understand hers. My urge to kill surfaces in extreme combat situations. Mostly when I am very, very angry. Not so much to defend myself, but more because I had been provoked. My goal is to slay, not necessarily to defend. For Kaoru, there is a slight distinction. Her so-called blood-lust is invoked because her instinct is to defend, to eliminate the threat. No wonder she is so determined to master Kamiya Kasshin. It is almost as if she is trying to diffuse that fatalistic instinct.

"With a sword, Kaoru?" I asked quietly.

This time, she shook her head. "No. Children are never given swords. Especially as spies, because that would make us suspicious. Waza Satsugai Sakibou."

Cat's Paw Killing Technique. Not a name as well known as my Mitsurugi, or Seta Soujiro's Tenken, yet I do not doubt its effectiveness to dispose of the opponent. In fact, its obscurity is its strength. The quietness of the Cat's Paw, so to speak. And if a child can use it to kill grown men, then it is nothing to take for granted. Cat's Paw originated from Ninpu: Ninja Arts, and it used pressure points to render a victim unconscious, however, when pressure is applied in vital points, like ones air passage, or certain parts of the spine...it becomes fatal. She did not even have to explain to me how the Ishinshishi managed to psyche the Shikeigai Sekkou to apply it fatally. They were children! So easy to manipulate. So easy to brainwash.

She finally looked up and grinned. "Kinda makes you realize why I can throw a punch exactly where it hurts, ne?"

I think she meant it to be funny. I suppose it should have been, but I wasn't quite in the mood to laugh. "Kaoru...those times with Gohei, Jin-eh, Kamatari, Amakusa Shogo and Enishi, you didn't lose control. You've fought it successfully as many times as I did."

Kaoru gave a sad chuckle. "Didn't you notice that with Gohei, I didn't let go of my bokken? Neither did I with Kamatari, no matter how pulverized it was. It was all I can do not to go on a rampage. Jin-eh caught me unaware, and he had me bound, hand and foot, before I can do anything. No hands, no Sakibou. I was taught to get loose of knots, but Jin-eh was as obsessive about binding as he was proving his strength, so those knots were just impossible to undo. With Shogo...well, he knocked you off a cliff. Can you guess why I was distracted?"

Quite. "And Enishi?"

A flush rose to her cheeks. "Well, he didn't exactly give me a reason to have to defend myself. But I tried a different method. By poisoning. The Ishinshishi taught us a lot about poisonous mushrooms just so we wouldn't make the mistake of eating it if we happened to get dumped or stationed in a forest. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough of the concentrated stuff, you know, the mushrooms around the island? So I settled for what mushrooms I had and just recalled all my anti-cooking skills, which you gotta admit can be poisonous by itself. Besides, I was too pissed at him to give him an edible meal."

I blinked, and a chortle threatened to bubble out of my throat. She tried to poison him with her vile cooking! Knowing that she managed to make him eat the stuff is a hilarious thought! I could almost imagine the look on his face when he sampled it.

Finally, I laughed. "Oh Kaoru! Y-You didn't!" I cried.

"I did," she replied, her flush deepening in its shade. "But I didn't really want to kill him then. Just to give him a tummy ache or something."

I took a deep breath to regain control of myself. I was about ready to laugh my head off. I managed to control my mirth, but I could not erase the smile on my face. "It didn't affect him much if it did at all. He still fought like a healthy man."

She pouted. "Hey! I tried my best!"

"Sessha is not blaming you in the least." I said to soothe her. "Enishi was beaten, wasn't he? And sessha was prepared to fight him, whether or not he was ill."

The frown seemed to persist on her face. Apparently, she is very bothered by the failure of her poisoning efforts.

My lip twitched with a struggling guffaw. I tried to appease her again. "Maa...koishii-"

Oro! I had just called her by an endearment!

She stared at me, blinking in surprise. I stared back, and I could feel the heat already rising in my face. Maybe I could explain that little slip. I did not mean to shock her! Granted, it's what I really feel, but this isn't the time-

To my utter astonishment, a laugh broke out of her. "Good one, Kenshin! It's just what I needed to get me back on track. Thank you, 'beloved'!"

I forced a smile to my lips. She thought I was pretending. I don't know if I should be relieved or miserable.

The door behind me suddenly burst open and Kyosuke sauntered in.

"Are you done?" He asked, taking his seat in front of us. Kaoru was about to say something when Kyosuke continued. "Frankly, I don't care. I'm here, I've given you your five minutes and all I want to do is talk about what we're going to do next."

Kaoru pursed her lips.

I decided to get the discussion back on track. "Kyosuke-san, why do you think we should all go to Yokohama together? Kaoru is right. I think it best that Kaoru and I do some investigating while you warn Banshio by yourself."

Kyosuke frowned. "Fine. I'll go to Yokohama by myself, but we'll have to meet again, discuss what we've come up with. In the meantime, what will you two be doing?"

"We'll look into the other deaths and see if we could come up with some suspects," Kaoru replied.

Kyosuke scoffed and bobbed his chin out. "Why don't you go check on your friendly, neighborhood cop."

I raised an eyebrow. "Saitoh? Does he know about the Shikeigai?"

"Wouldn't put is past him," Kyosuke said.

Kaoru gave me a ponderous glance. "He does seem to have access to government skeletons, Kenshin. I'm not saying he's responsible for the deaths, but if someone is killing people off, he might know something."

I gave it a quick thought. Saitoh may be a wolf, but I hardly think him capable of covering his tracks deliberately. As a self-righteous bastard, he needs to broadcast. Sin, swift, slay, isn't it? Still, it bears merit. Mibu's Wolf certainly knows how to hold a grudge, and it would be consistent with his beliefs to get rid of the "brats" who played a big role in destroying the Shinsengumi. On the other hand, it would be prudent to assume that he is in no way responsible for the killings, and that he only knows something. "Kaoru, Saitoh will not be willing to volunteer any such information to us if he does know anything about this."

Kaoru chuckled. "We're not exactly going to knock on his office door and say, 'Pardon me, Saitoh, but do you think you can tell us something about the deaths of these people?' You know we're going to have to be...roundabout in our methods."

Again, I raised an eyebrow. Is she suggesting that we snoop around police headquarters?

She withered at my gaze. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Kenshin. Saitoh is a remote possibility. I don't even think he did it..."

"How can you say that?" Kyosuke asked. "He's the quintessential Shinsen. Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if he's the one who's been arranging all this."

"Then Nakagura Shinpachi's just as much of a suspect as he is," Kaoru pointed out.

Nakagura. Leader of the 2nd Shinsen Gumi squad. I believe he wrote that book Jitsureki dan about his experiences as a member of the Shinsengumi. He is the only other living Shinsen I know of aside from Saitoh, which is probably why Kaoru said what she did.

"Nakagura's been in Hokkaido these past few years," Kyosuke said. "I think he's been occupied in research and I seriously doubt he has the time to plot revenge. Unless you want to go all the way to Hokkaido and enjoy the freezing climate..."

"And where did you get that information?" Kaoru inquired in astonishment.

Kyosuke waved a hand to render her question negligible and grinned. "Kaoru-baby, you could be such an idiot sometimes. Don't you get it? I've got reliable sources. Now don't go asking another stupid question like that."

I saw Kaoru rising a bit from her seat and prepping her fist for a wallop at Kyosuke's face. "Maa...maa..." I said, putting my arms around her to keep her from attacking.

"Just one, Kenshin. Just one!" Kaoru said through grit teeth.

I held her down firmly and smiled in my rurouni way. "No need for that. Sessha will take care of him if he continues to be a jerk." I turned to give Kyosuke my innocent gaze. "Ne, Kyosuke-san?"

He stared at me curiously, then realization dawned in his eyes. He gulped. "I was just kidding, Kaoru. Can't you take a joke? Hehe..."

Kaoru relaxed and I let her go. I knew Kyosuke would get the hint. I didn't have to tell him that I didn't like it when he called Kaoru names either.

"Since we're on the subject of suspects," I continued. "Is there anyone else alive and able who know of your existence?"

Kaoru shrugged. "Maybe a few members of Yasushige's family, but that's only a hunch."

A worthy possibility. Even if I don't know Anenokoji Yasushige's family, I know enough about name structures to recognize the mark of the elite in its syllables. Elite families during the Bakumatsu were more often than naught privy to the workings of either the government in power, or its enemies.

Kaoru frowned. "And then there's...but I don't think he'd...no. We don't even know if he's still alive..."

That perked my attention. "Yes?"

She looked at Kyosuke, as if to ask him if whatever she was going to say was even worth mentioning.

Kyosuke nodded.

"Katsura Kogoro..." Kaoru finished quietly.

My eyes widened. Katsura-sama...the very man who recruited me into the Ishinshishi. He knew? Well, I suppose he ought. He shared the responsibility in the success of the restoration, but I could hardly believe he would authorize the use of children for the war. It cannot be! Oh, but war has been known to bring out the worse in men... "Did he authorize the formation of the Shikeigai?" I asked, extremely disturbed.

Kaoru shook her head. "No. Sakamoto Ryoma did..."

All these names straight from the Bakumatsu. I feel like I'm living a nightmare. Sakamoto was one of Katsura-sama's closest and most trusted friends during that time of war. He was instrumental to the restoration...in more ways than one. That much is currently apparent.

"Before he was assassinated, he wanted to make sure that the Shikeigai would continue to exist as long as necessary. He was afraid his death, which was entirely possible being the man he was, would mean the end of the Shikeigai," Kaoru explained. "We all know Katsura was the only person he trusted, and by the time Katsura found out about the Shikeigai, he couldn't very well put a stop to it without putting all the insiders at risk. He did try to ease us out of service, but circumstances wouldn't let him, and when Sakamoto died, all he could do for us was make sure we weren't killed on the job."

She took my hand and squeezed it gently. I think she sensed my disapproval of Katsura.

"He had no choice, Kenshin," Kaoru told me. "And the best thing he could do at the time was not to abandon us."

I gave her a small smile. Did she know me so well that I needed no words to express such matters to her? I will always appreciate her for it. Perhaps I shouldn't judge Katsura-sama. Maybe it was as Kaoru said. He had no choice. But I find it hard to believe that amidst the chaos of war, he wasn't able to do something. What could be so difficult about removing children from harm's way?

Kyosuke crossed his arms over his chest and snorted in derision. "We really are skeletons in the closet. Imagine how it would look on Katsura's pristine record if someone, particularly a Shikeigai brat, came out with the shocking news that he consented to the existence of something so terrible. Shocking! For a man so known to be protective of the lives of the innocent. Not to mention the fact that it just might taint the good name of Sakamoto."

A stubborn look blanketed Kaoru's face. "No! I will not believe that Katsura has anything to do with these deaths! We all know he's a good man! And for goodness sake, no one has heard of him for at least a couple of years. He may very well be dead!"

I put a hand on Kaoru's shoulder to stay her. She looked at me in astonishment.

"We cannot discount the fact that he may be alive and that he knows about the Shikeigai," I said in a quiet voice.

She gasped. "Kenshin!"

Painful as it is for me to suspect my former master, it needs considering. Kaoru is more important to me than any man whom I deem worthy of my respect. For Kaoru, I will give up anything. "I will go to Chosu, and if he is alive, I will talk to him."

Kyosuke grimaced. "Talk to him? Jeez! Whatever! If he has anything to do with this, don't you think it best he doesn't know somebody is on the case?"

"Katsura Kogoro, if he is still alive, deserves to know I am investigating the case." I told him calmly. "I'm sure you can figure out why, Kyosuke-san so I will not go into further explanations. As for my methods, I encourage you not to question them."

He said nothing more out loud, but I could see him grumbling to himself with a scowl.

"What time's your train leaving, Kyosuke?" Kaoru asked him.

"Noon," Kyosuke replied. "I'll send word of my return so we can meet up again. Are you going to be looking into Miyori's death as well? She did die of disease after all, and it's been a while since it happened."

A small smile pulled at the corners of Kaoru's mouth. "Now who's the idiot?"

Kyosuke shrugged a shoulder. "Well, yeah sure she married into the family, but it's not even certain that the guy's Shinpachi's son."

Did I miss something here? I gave Kaoru a questioning glance.

"Miyori married Daisuke, the rumored bastard son of Shinpachi," Kaoru explained. "It was never confirmed that he was Shinpachi's, but he took the name Nakagura anyway. Miyori met Daisuke when she was stationed with Nakagura's patrol. Touching love story, ne?"

Intriguing, maybe. "Is Daisuke-san still alive?" I asked.

"Yes," Kyosuke replied. "I suppose you could ask him some questions. Wouldn't hurt."

Indeed. All bases should be covered.

Kaoru looked to the sky through the window. The rays of the sun streamed abundantly through the opening in defiance of the white clouds. "It's almost lunch, Kenshin. We should be heading back to the dojo, or the kids will get suspicious."

I chuckled. Kids. I suppose she meant to include Sano in her list. A fair description of the gangster who refused to take a job to support himself.

I got up from the floor. "Then let's go," I replied, extending my hand to assist Kaoru to her feet. "Though they're probably suspicious enough as it is."

She cocked me a smile and took the hand I offered with her own. Standing up, she dusted the front of her kimono with delicate flicks of her hand. I resisted the urge to help in the dusting. There was no way I can fit my compulsion to clean into that obvious attempt to touch her. Besides, holding her hand is just as pleasant.

I noticed Kyosuke staring at me observantly, but I ignored him.

"Excuse us, Kyosuke-san," I said, giving him a bow. Kaoru did the same rather hesitantly.

He raised an eyebrow and stood up as well to return the courtesy.

Kaoru and I turned to head for the door. When we stepped out, Kyosuke called our attention for the last time.

"Kaoru-chan...there are people who...can't let go of the Bakumatsu. Don't let the peace fool you," he said in a sad voice.

Neither of us said anything after that. Kaoru simply gave him a two-second stare and then nudged me to leave with her.

As much as I'd hate to agree with Kyosuke, the man is right.

I peeled my gaze away from Kaoru's face and caught Sano and Yahiko snatching their eyes from me. It was as if all of a sudden, they had taken a strange obsession with their rice bowls and the food they were gobbling down. They have been silently squinting at either Kaoru or me from their lunch places and it was getting rather unnerving. I have no doubts that it had something to do with Kaoru's new revelations, but they seemed to be biding their time. I didn't realize ten quiet minutes in a room with any of them could feel like two hours.

Kaoru ate calmly. Occasionally, she would fill emptying plates with variants from the serving dishes like a big sister would for her little brothers. I rather like the idea of her putting pieces of teriyaki on my plate like a loving wife would do for a husband, but that would be wishful thinking.

It took another five minutes before Kaoru gently laid down her bowl and chopsticks to address the two children. "Alright, that's it," she said in an even voice. "Sano, Yahiko, is there a problem? Do I have food on my face or something? Kenshin looks fine, so it must be me. Please tell me and save me the humiliation of finding it out for myself!"

That's one way of putting it.

"Hey!" Yahiko cried, a bit of rice shooting out of his mouth. "Kenshin's been staring at you too! Why don't you bitch at him?"

Oro! The child can be so unbelievably tactless at times! I merely sat watching the scene, blinking several times to see how Kaoru would react to what he said.

Kaoru sighed. "Never mind him. He has a lot on his mind! Could you just please tell me what's bothering you two?"

Sano spoke with his mouth still full. "Apart from the fact that you cooked this fabulously delicious meal? Well, frankly it's that you two left this morning supposedly so eager to buy groceries but came back with a cheap-ass bucket of tofu. You were gone the whole morning and you come back with half a pop of soybean squares? Yahiko and I were there when that Kyosuke guy gave Kenshin his address. Give us some credit here!" He bawled rather irritably. "Since you're lying and all, the least you could have done was add sake to your grocery list!"

"Sano, tofu and sake don't exactly go together, you know, " Kaoru said nonchalantly. "They make this awful combination in your stomach..."

Sano scowled. "Jou-chan, you know damn well what I mean!"

"And don't change the subject!" Yahiko added.

Relentless, aren't they? Well, I have never known them to give up without a fight.

"Mou!" Kaoru exclaimed. "What's wrong with tofu?" She asked, obviously still trying to be evasive.

"Maa...Sanosuke, Kaoru-dono and I did go to the market as evidenced by the tofu..."

"Dammit Kenshin! We know that. Where else could you have gotten the f&%king tofu!" Sano somewhat yelled.

Yahiko tousled his own hair in frustration. "Could we like, let go of the tofu issue for cryin' out loud? Where did you and ugly go this morning, aside from the market? You went to Kyosuke, didn't you!"

I chuckled. Tofu indeed.

Kaoru grinned. "We went to Tae's."

Well, that is still the truth. We passed by the Akebeko just before we headed for home to get some miso to add to our lunch.

"What for?" Yahiko insisted, a frown still knotting his brow.

Kaoru stifled a laugh and replied. "To get a recipe for tofu."

"Aaaarghhhh!" Yahiko cried through clenched teeth.

I burst out in laughter with Kaoru while Yahiko fumed and Sano slapped a palm to his face. The recipe was a lie, but it's a rather funny one, at that.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist," Kaoru explained to me, chortling.

"Tell us already!" Yahiko whined, bouncing slightly on his seat. "It ain't fair! We know it's about that spy thing busu's involved in and we want to help!"

"Yeah Jou-chan," Sano seconded. "We're family, dammit! We stick it out for each other no matter what!"

Kaoru smiled, maintaining her composure under the harsh conditions. "That's sweet, but I really don't want you getting involved in this. I even attempted, in my own pathetic way, not to drag Kenshin into the matter, but you know how the rurouni gets..."

I flashed my disarmingly innocent smile again. As long as I am around, there is no way I would let her put herself in danger without me guarding her back.

Yahiko jutted his chin out. "Well then, we insist-"

"No," Kaoru simply interrupted him, calmly picking up her bowl and chopsticks to resume eating.

"Hey!" Sano complained. "Yahiko-chan wasn't done-"

"No," she said again, cutting him off as well.

I could see Sano turning red in the face. "If you'll just-" "Who you calling 'chan', rooster head?" Yahiko yelled at the ex-gangster.

"What! Rooster head! I'll show you-!"

The two of them rolled gradually out of the room in a cloud of dust as they amazingly preserved the virtue of their respective rice bowls. Through it all, Kaoru primly continued with her lunch, grinning at me like she hadn't a care in the world.

Personally, I think Sano could be depended on for help, plus, he is a grown man who can very well take care of himself, but then, I can bring that up later, when things aren't as chaotic. Right now, I can sit here all day, enjoying the smiles Kaoru flashed from her lips.

Flowers, I think, would make me deserving of those smiles...