Title:Better Teamwork Through Dragon Hunting chapter 3
Pairing/Characters: Teamfic. No Pairings. Loki, Thor, Avengers, Odin.
Better Teamwork Through Dragon Hunting
chapter three: T.E.A.M = Together Everyone Achieves More
Tony was the first to open his eyes, then quickly shut them again when he realised Loki hadn't been joking when he said there would be nothing, and he tried not to think about the fact that he couldn't hear a single shuffling footstep simply because there was nothing under his feet.
"How the hell do you know where you're going?" Tony asked.
"Shut up!" Natasha said. "Let him concentrate."
There was silence for a while, as they continued moving onwards, and then Thor asked, "When you fell from the Bifrost, is this where you were brother?"
"Yes," Loki replied. "It took me a long time to find a way out."
"How long were you in here?" Bruce asked.
"In Midgard terms, about a month."
"You spent a MONTH in here?" Clint asked.
"Yes," Loki snapped, annoyed at the constant interruptions.
"Sheeesh," Clint said, "no wonder you went nuts."
Loki paused, and shot Clint a poisonous glance, even though he couldn't see it in the dark, and said, "I should remind you, that if I lose concentration, become distressed or upset in any way I might end up dropping someone. Completely by accident, of course."
"Point taken," Clint replied, and everyone kept their mouth shut for the rest of the journey.
~o~
They squinted at the bright sunlight as they poured out of the secret pathway from the highly polished surface of a piece of black volcanic stone, and stumbled across the ground.
"Asgard looks kinda different to how I expected," Steve said, looking around at the lush green forest that stood to one side of them, and the vast grassy plain that extended towards the horizon on the other side.
"You have brought us to Alfheim, brother?" Thor asked, as Loki sat on the ground.
"I needed to rest," Loki said. "Transporting one person across the realms is difficult. Transporting seven at once is near impossible."
"We are not in a hurry, rest well brother," Thor said, as he sat down on the grass beside him. "It has been a long time since we have been here. Do you remember when we captured a Gullinborsti and presented it to father?"
"I remember when you fell out of a tree, and landed on your face in the mud," Loki said with a snorting laugh.
"Aye, that was a great day," Thor sighed wistfully, "and father was impressed with his prize."
"Perhaps we should take him a gift this time?" Loki asked. "It would certainly raise the standing of the Avengers in Asgard."
"That is an excellent idea," Thor said.
"It would be unwise to arrive without a gift for the All Father," Loki said to Steve. "This is your first visit to Asgard, and it is customary to bring a tribute."
"My brother is correct," Thor announced to the group. "Heroes you may be, but in the eyes of Asgard you are mere mortals. If you arrive with a handsome prize the people will treat you as the warriors you are."
"You should have said something before we left, I could have bought him a toaster," Tony said.
"A toaster is hardly a fitting gift for a King," Loki said scathingly. "Your gift is judged upon the danger of acquiring it, the adventure of your quest, and I hardly think going to the store has much danger."
"If Tony's driving even a trip to the store can be a life threatening experience," Clint said.
"Hey!" Tony exclaimed.
"What gift should we bring?" Bruce asked.
"A Battleswine?" Thor asked.
Loki shook his head, and said, "Too easy. What about a Lindworm?"
"It's a little chilly to go swimming, isn't it?"
"Hmmm, perhaps a little," Loki replied. "Oh! What about a Fire Drake? I'm sure father could make good use of a Fire Drake."
"Fire Drake?" Natasha asked. "That sounds kinda dangerous."
"What would be the point of a quest if it was easy?" Loki asked.
"A Fire Drake would be a tribute worthy of the Avengers!" Thor proclaimed, as he stood, and pulled Loki to his feet. "My friends, we must go to Hvergelmir and catch a monstrous fire breathing, venomous beast!"
"Whose idea was it to go on this trip again?" Clint asked, as he glared at Steve and Tony.
~o~
"Is this Hverwhatever?" Natasha asked, as they emerged from a shining rock by a huge waterfall.
"This is Vanaheim," Loki said, "but if we are to catch a Fire Drake we must gather supplies first."
"Aye, we must collect the leaves of the Colfa tree," Thor said. "Fire Drakes find them irresistible. It will make one far easier to catch."
"Can't Tony just fly to get them, then bring them back?" Clint asked.
"Oh man, I just took my suit off!" Tony said, now dressed in jeans and a T Shirt, and holding the silver and red suitcase in his hands.
"Really, Agent Barton?" Loki asked. "What part of 'epic quest' do you not understand?"
"It's just, it's a long way to go if you're thinking of heading towards those trees over there."
"It will take no more than an hour," Loki said, and then he raised an eyebrow. "Although if you are suggesting you might be too slow or weak to keep up, then perhaps you should stay here."
"Slow?" Clint asked. "I'm faster on my feet than you, Prancer."
"Really?" Loki sneered. "Care to wager something on that?"
"You betcha," Clint said. "When I win you can do all my laundry for a month."
"Two months," Loki said, "and I want my boots oiled once a week."
"Deal."
"Very well," Loki replied.
Clint set off at a quick pace, alternating between jogging, and walking, while Loki kept his strides steady and loping, his long legs quickly carrying him over the rough terrain.
"Are you not worried Clint will beat you brother?" Thor asked, a long while later, as he kept pace at Loki's side.
"Have you ever heard the Midgardian tale of the Tortoise and the Hare?"
"No, I have not."
"Well keep watching, you are about to see it in live action," Loki said, as Clint, almost a speck in the distance, stopped and bent over to get his breath back.
~o~
"I thought you said this would take an hour," Clint said, as he sat on the ground, struggling to get his breath back, when Loki and the Avengers approached, some 2 hours into their trek.
"Oh, I'm sorry Agent Barton, I must have misjudged the distance," Loki said, striding past him. "I do hope you're well versed in the care of leather."
Natasha helped Clint to his feet, and they walked the final mile together, but as they approached the tree line Loki paused, and raised his hand.
"What's up?" Tony asked. "Sense a disturbance in the force?"
"Something's coming," Loki said. "Don't you feel that?"
"Aye, perhaps we should go another way," Thor replied.
"I don't feel anything," Tony said, and then the ground began to tremble slightly under his feet.
"Is that an earthquake?" Steve asked.
"Technically wouldn't it be a Vanaheimshake?" Bruce asked.
"That sounds like the least appetising thing on the menu at the worlds worst Dairy Queen," Tony said.
The ground began to move more violently, and a low rumbling sound began to echo round the valley. The tops of the trees further back in the forest at the brow of the slope began to sway violently.
Loki smiled at Thor, then turned on his heels and took off down the hill, then he shouted over his shoulder, "Now might be a good time to start running!"
"What's going on?" Natasha asked.
Thor bellowed with laughter as he started to run, throwing his arms in the air with excitement, and shouting, "BILGESNIPPPPEEEEE!"
"What?" Natasha yelled, and then a colossal scaly creature burst out of the forest, shaking its head to remove the twigs and branches that were caught in its gigantic antlers as it ran down the hillside.
"RUN!" Steve shouted, as four more of the huge dinosaur like animals came flying out of the trees and headed straight for them. Natasha and Clint took off, following Steve down the hill, as Thor and Loki ran ahead of him.
"Tony, come on!" Bruce shouted as he ran, then he looked over his shoulder and saw Tony sprinting down the hill, his hands in the side of the suitcase, the armour trying to fit itself over his body as he moved.
~o~
Thor and Loki shrieked with laughter as they barrelled down the hillside, and then Loki spied a rocky outcrop that was large enough to shelter them all.
"Here!" Loki shouted, pointing to the rocks. "Get behind this!"
Loki ran over the outcrop and jumped behind it, he was quickly followed by Thor, Steve, Natasha, and then an out of breath Clint crashed down beside them.
Thor laughed as he grabbed Loki in a bear hug, and said, "My friends! Have you ever felt more alive?"
Clint laughed and said, "I doubt I'll be alive for much longer. I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack."
"Where are Tony and Bruce?" Steve asked. "What the hell are they doing?"
They poked their head above the outcrop and watched as Tony ran down the hill shrieking, half his body covered in the Iron Man suit, while the legs flailed about as he darted sideways out of the path of the first Bilgesnipe which was tearing down the valley.
"We must help them," Thor shouted, then Loki grabbed his arm and pulled him back down as the Bilgesnipe thundered over them, launching itself over the outcrop and landing behind them so hard it shook the rocks loose.
The four remaining Bilgesnipe that were running down the hill were coming down in a line, and as Tony tripped and fell, dragging Bruce with him, it seemed there would be no escape for them.
The Avengers jumped up from behind the rocks, and Thor sent Mjolnir flying towards the Bilgesnipe, knocking one of the lumbering creatures to its side. Hawkeye loosed a volley of arrows, and Steve threw his shield as hard as he could, but three of the creatures were still coming down the hillside towards Bruce and Tony who still lay helpless on the ground, but then Bruce started moving, and roaring, transforming as he stood.
"Oh crap," Clint said, as the Hulk leapt up and launched itself at the nearest Bilgesnipe, the smallest of the group, as the others continued to run.
"No-N-No!" Loki shouted. "Not that one! Don't attack that one!"
"What?" Steve said, as the Hulk smashed his fist into the head of the creature, and knocked it unconscious.
"That one is the infant of the group," Loki said, as the Bilgesnipe that had passed them and continued down the hill, turned back, pawed at the ground angrily, and started to bellow. "Bilgesnipe are ferociously protective parents."
"We need to get Tony out of there," Steve said, as the largest Bilgesnipe began running back towards them with a trumpeting call.
"You distract the others, I'll get Tony," Loki shouted.
Thor called Mjolnir back to his hand, then launched himself towards the Bilgesnipe that was running back up the hill, landing on its head, and raining blows down onto its skull. It started to thrash, attempting to dislodge him, but he held fast, gripping onto its antlers as it shook its head.
Steve, Clint and Natasha started attacking one of the creatures, while the Hulk had thrown itself onto the back of another, and Loki darted between their legs until he reached Tony.
"I believe you require some assistance?" Loki asked, as the infant Bilgesnipe climbed drunkenly to its feet behind him.
"What took you so long?" Tony said, still trying to straighten out the pieces of his armour that were wrapped round his legs.
"BROTHER, LOOK OUT!" Loki heard Thor scream across the battlefield, and then he looked up.
The Hulk was on the head of one of the Bilgesnipe, pulling its antlers to the side, causing the creature to rear up on its back legs, then stagger uselessly across the rolling grassy slope.
"No!" Thor cried, as the creature came crashing down on its side, landing with a deafening thud on the very spot where Tony and Loki were crouching.
Thor howled with anger, threw himself to the ground, raised Mjolnir to the sky, and called down lightning.
The creatures screamed in fear as the air crackled with electricity, scattering across the field, as they ran blindly in terror, and as the downed Bilgesnipe thrashed its legs, and climbed to its feet, then ran to join its group, it revealed Loki, his body thrown across Tony as the creature fell.
"Compromising position," Tony said, patting Loki on the shoulder. "You might wanna get off me now."
"Sorry," Loki said, as he sat back up on his knees.
"How the hell did you do that?" Clint asked, as he reached their side. "That thing dropped right on top of you."
"Magic has many uses, Agent Barton," Loki said. "A simple deflection spell can be widened to encompass more than one person."
"Whoa, so you could put like a personal shield round all of us?"
"At the moment it works by touch, but I believe given enough practise and study I would widen its scope, yes."
"Good to know," Clint said.
"Isn't anyone going to ask how I am?" Tony said. "I just got crushed by a giant thing, and no one cares how I am?"
"I believe the fact that you are whining indicates that you are well," Loki said, then Clint laughed, and slapped him on the back.
"What happened?" Bruce asked, as he sat up, shirtless, and pink and back to his usual size.
"You just punched out a dinosaur with antlers," Tony replied.
"I did?"
"Yeah."
"Cool."
"Brother!" Thor bellowed, as he approached. "You are well, and you have saved Tony's life. What a great day this is. We must find a tavern to celebrate!"
"A tavern?" Steve asked. "Is that really a good idea?"
"We must collect the leaves first," Loki said. "My magic is exhausted from creating the shield. I would not be able to transport us to another realm for many hours and it's getting late."
"There is a settlement on the other side of the forest where we would find lodgings," Thor said. "Come my friends. We will show you the way, then we shall eat, and drink, and wrestle in the streets!"
~o~
"Does it annoy you that your clothes tear when you transform?" Loki asked as they trudged down a wide path in the forest.
"Ehhh… I get a big clothing budget," Bruce said, tugging at the jacket that Clint had lent him which was far too short. "It's annoying when it's something I really love. I had a T-shirt that I wore under my graduation robes when I finished college. Ended up as nothing more than rags hanging round my neck."
"Perhaps I could help you."
"So as well as an evil super villain, you're a seamstress now too?" Natasha asked.
"Former evil super villain," Loki corrected.
"I'm surprised you don't have a fear of needles and thread after the whole mouth sewing business," Tony said, carrying his armour back it's suitcase form.
Loki rolled his eyes at Tony and said "It's not like a sewed my mouth shut myself, that was Thor."
"You sewed your own brothers mouth shut?" Steve asked.
"He lost a wager," Thor retorted. "He deserved it anyway."
"For what?"
"For the time he tricked me into wearing a wedding dress," Thor said, and Loki cackled behind him.
"What?" Tony asked, as he stumbled over a tree root, and clutched his suitcase to his chest.
"It is not important," Thor grumbled in response.
"Man, when we get home I am so buying a book on Norse myths because this shit is gold."
"Most of those myths are falsehoods," Thor said. "Do not believe everything you read about me."
"And many of them are not," Loki said. "Like that time you lost a wrestling match to an old woman."
"Shut up, or I'll tell them the tale of what you did with the beard of a goat," Thor said, and Loki snapped his mouth shut, shooting his brother an evil look.
"What I was actually going to suggest before I was rudely interrupted," Loki continued, "was that I enchant your clothing so that when you transform it grows with you."
"We have a form of enchantment like that too," Tony said.
"You do?" Loki enquired.
"Yeah, it's called Lycra."
"You must teach me this Lycra, I have never heard of this magic," Loki said, as Clint and Natasha stifled giggles. Loki looked at them, wide eyed and confused, and said, "What?"
"Hey, don't be mean" Steve said, then he turned to Tony and said, "He saved your life today, and you never even said thank you."
"Sorry," Tony said, lowering his head. "Thanks for stopping me getting squished."
"You're welcome," Loki replied, allowing himself a small smile.
His plan was working.
~o~
Chapter 4 should be up on Wednesday :-)