Chapter 3

All you have to do is smile that smile
And there go all my defenses
Just leave it up to you and in a little while
You're messin' up my mind and fillin' up my senses

A week had passed by and Alex had been true to her word to me, she was my friend and she acted in that way. But it was all still hard for me, I knew that there was just one thing that she had to do and all of the walls that I had build up around my heart would collapse and she would once again be in that part of my heart.

"Marissa."

That is Alex, she is coming in this direction and she is wearing that smile, and she doesn't even know it.

"Coop." And that would be Summer, she is next to me and I know that she is trying to encourage me to talk to Alex or at least to invite the blonde over to us, but I'm not sure that is the best idea. And by that I mean that I'm not sure on how to act around Alex, she is acting like my friend and all of that, she says hi asks how I'm doing but that is not the things that I can do or at least not first.

I kind of need Alex to be the one that is establishing the contact between us and I have no idea on why that is. I'm leaving it up to Alex on how this is going to develop, at least for a little while, while I'm trying to figure out what is that I want out of this. If I want more than a friendship, and all she has to do is smile.

"Alex." I managed to get out as she walks up to us. "how are you doing today?"

"I doing pretty fine." Alex said. "So I'm going to miss my last class today."

"Oh, what are you doing?" I asked, that was one of the few classes that I had with Alex, I was kind of looking forward to that one but what can I do.

"I got this call from a friend, there is this unusually bird that kind of must have gotten lost or something." Alex said, she is going to be talking about her birds or bugs or what other kind of animal that she is being all obsessed with. "And I kind of want to have a chance to spot it so I'm leaving."

"And you are telling us this, why?" Summer asked, she has never understood this side of Alex and if I shall tell the truth so have I but she is my friend I need to be supportive of her.

"I was hoping that, Marissa would take some notes and let me copy them." Alex said and looked at me and not at Summer. Okay what is all of this about, why are they acting so strange?

"I think that I can do that." I said, and I'm not sure on why I agreed to do that. Who am I kidding, of course I know, Alex was smiling.

That smile is breaking down all kind of defenses that I have build up from the moment that she left me. And with that Alex left Summer and me here in school.

"I know that I said that you should talk to her and sort things out." Summer said and looked at me "but this is not sorting things out."

"What are you talking about." I said as I looked over at my friend a little confused, to me this was sorting things out and that was of course going to lead to me and Alex starting to hang out again and be friends.

"You are back in the old patterns." Summer said and looked at me like whatever she was saying was the most obvious thing in the world. "She will act the same way as before and you will let her."

"I'm not letting her walk all over me again." I said, and that was one thing that I was sure of, she will not break me again. "If it was you that was missing a class I would take notes for you, which are what a friend does."

"Yes, that is true but you aren't friends with Alex." Summer said, and I for one didn't like what she was saying, of course I was friends with Alex.

"Alex is my friend and I'm going to help her." I said and I was about to snap and that was never a good thing. Just count to ten and take a deep breath when you get there, I reminded myself.

"I won't say anything." Summer said, and I could tell that if this conversation was going to continue she was going to have a rage blackout or something like that in the near future and I for one didn't want to be on the receiving end of that.

/

I had taken the notes that Alex had asked me to take and I was now going to go to her house so that I could leave them there so that she could copy them. And after that I was going to go and talk to Summer, I for one needed her on my side and then she is my best friend so I would needed to complain to and to talk to, you know all the things that you need your best friend for.

/

"I'm sorry." Was the first thing that I said when Summer opened the door, it was for the better to get it out there before she was going to start up with her anger management issues that she might have, and don't tell her that I told you that she might have those. I want to be alive.

"That is a start." Summer said and smiled, I knew it, she couldn't be mad at me forever or even that long. "But we can't talk; I'm going to see Seth."

"And he is my neighbor and friends with Alex so that means that I'm coming with." I said this was a great thing; I was going to hang with my best friend and my soon to be next best friend.

"Marissa, just because Seth and Alex is friends doesn't mean that they are together." Summer said, like Seth would have any other friends that he would hang out with. "And for the record, you do remember that she was out for some kind of bird watching or something."

"Right." I said as I remembered that, why did Alex have to be that kind of nerd. "But maybe she is back."

"Coop, listen to yourself." Summer said and looked at me, she kind of looked sad, and I don't know why she was looking that way. "You are not over her."

"I'm over her." I said and tried to act cool about it when I said that. Okay so I can tell you guys that there might be some kind of lingering feelings like deep, deep inside of me, but that isn't something that Summer needs to know about or even Alex.

Both Summer and me was going over to the Cohens' house but I'm not sure why I was going there, I mean that just meant that I was showing Summer that she might be right when she said that I wasn't over Alex, but at the same time I feel like I should hang with Alex so that I can show Summer and the rest of the world that I am over her, her being Alex, and that she is my friend and nothing more.

How come that I always start to rambled in my thoughts when I try to explain to everyone that Alex just is my friend and nothing more, can you tell me the answer to that.

/

"Marissa!" Seth almost yelled as he saw me, it was like he was trying to tell someone that I was there. And I have no idea why he was doing that.

"Seth!" I said in the same tone of voice that he had used, it was used almost to mock him, that was the only thing that I could think of. And in that moment Alex came walking down the stairs and when our eyes meet she smiled that smile, and… crap, why does she always act like that.

I am over her; she can't tear down my defenses that I have built up around my heart to protect me from her. Whatever she is doing she isn't filling up my senses and one thing is for sure she isn't messing with my feelings. Who am I trying to kidding, she is messing with me and she doesn't even know about it, and that is bad. Really bad.