I was looking in Spencer's eyes, trying to figure out what she was going to tell me. I can't tell what she's planning on saying, so I just nod my head so that she'll continue.

"Do you remember when I told you that I didn't have any female friends when I was a kid? Well, when I was 13, I started to date my best friend, Jeff. We had known each other since we were 5 years old, and I felt comfortable around him. I liked him you know, as a person and as my friend. I just didn't like him in any type of romantic way. "

She paused to make sure I was listening, so I nodded my head again.

"One night, we were hanging out at his farm, in the tree house that his dad helped him build. Earlier, we had been having fun. We hated his cousin, who was the high school slut, so we had taken a broken cell phone apart and started to sling shot pieces at her. We actually got her a few times. I ate dinner over there, then Jeff and I went back into the tree house. We sat there for awhile, not speaking, but not looking at each other. That's when it happened. That's when he asked me if he could kiss me."

She paused again, so I nodded once again and said, not trying to sound too intrigued, "So, did you let him? What happened next?"

"We kissed. Probably for about 2 minutes. I can't say how it felt for him, but for me I felt nothing at all. I didn't feel a spark, like I thought you were supposed to. I didn't feel like I was kissing my supposed boyfriend, but like my friend. Then, he moved away, moved to Oregon."

"I'm sorry that you lost your friend, Spence. I know what it's like to lose someone you love, on any level." I hope that it's ok that I called her Spence instead of Spencer…

She smiled, a wide smile on her face. "Thanks, Ash. Thank you."

We both just sat there for a few minutes looking into each others eyes, neither one of us wanting to break the gaze.

"Then when I started high school, everything just got really confusing for awhile. I didn't have any friends my freshman year. I usually hung out in the library on the computer on MySpace. But, when I got to sophomore year, I met this guy named Michael, who was in my band class. He was cute, but I wasn't really attracted to him. I knew he liked me, but as hard as I tried, I just couldn't like him like that. We went to a competition that year. Stayed overnight in a hotel."

My eyes got a little wider as I tried to guess what she was going to say next.

"Michael and I sat next to each other on the bus ride back from the amusement park to the hotel. I was really nervous because I knew what he wanted to do. I knew that he wanted to do something." She paused and drew a sharp breath inward. "The bus was dark, and we made out a little bit. Again, I didn't feel anything for him, but I was thinking that most people my age were having sex, and most of the people in band were having sex. So, I thought that this is something I'd have to do eventually."

She paused again. My eyes got even wider as I anticipated what she was going to say.

"He moved his hands over my breasts, first over my shirt, then under but over my bra. He kept kissing me and moving his hand lower and lower. He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled the zipper down, slowly. That's when I suddenly remembered that I was on my period, so I stopped him. I took his hand and moved it from down there. He responded my taking my hand and putting it on his dick over his pants and asking me if it was big. I responded with a yeah, and that was that."

I could tell that she wasn't even close to getting to the hard part yet. This whole time our eyes had been locked, but now, she put her head down and I saw a lone tear fall down her cheek.

She continued, "He was a dick to me for the rest of the trip. Soon after this, I sat myself down to think about my life thus far. To think about what had happened on this trip. I made a realization." She gulped then said, "That I'm gay. I'm a lesbian."

Honestly, I wasn't surprised by this. I had had an inkling brewing in the back, well front, of my brain. She had started to cry a little bit more and I grabbed her head and brought it into my shoulder. We sat there for awhile, her head in the crook of my neck, and me rubbing the back of her head in a comforting manner. That's when she sat back up and continued once again.

"I had crushes on some of the girls I knew. At first, I felt ashamed, I had grown up in a Christian household and been told my whole life that those type of people were sinners and that they were doomed to go to hell. As I contemplated things over the course of my sophomore and junior years I came to a realization. There was nothing wrong with me. I was just as normal as the next person. It just so happened that I was attracted to females. That's when" She paused here and looked right at me in the eyes and started to tear up a little, "I was forced to come out to my parents.

"I was in the car with my mother one day, and for some reason she asked God for patience. I politely asked her not to talk about God in my presence. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have said anything at all. She looked at me like I was the devil in disguise. She started bombarding me with questions about my beliefs and about who I was. When I got home, she ran up the stairs crying. My father was on the couch and looked at me and asked me what happened. I told him and he asked me if I was straight or not. I froze." She had said all of that on one breath, so she took a second to catch it. "He asked me again and again until I finally blurted out that I was gay."

I took her head back to my shoulder because she was crying again. But, she continued. "The next morning, my father forced me to tell my mother. He locked me in with them until I came clean. He told me that I had a choice to make, that he knew someone like me and that I could still make the right choice and wait for the right man to marry."

"WHAT?!" I yelled, a little louder than I had hoped. "How could he say something like that to you. You're perfect." That last little bit just slipped out, and I had hoped she didn't catch it, but she did.

"You think I'm perfect? I will only agree with that for one aspect of my life."

"Which aspect is that?"

"The I'm a virgin aspect of my life."