Enjoy! Again, not something I've written before or am super familiar with, so I kind of just went with a weird, cracky kind of take on it.

Kurt Hummel had always been the smartest in the Hummel family. The oldest and the only boy among ten sisters, he was first in line for the throne. The girls tended to spend their days breaking into obnoxious music numbers (enslaving thousands of woodland creatures in the process) and falling in love with pretentious princes, only to be tricked by the evil plots of silly sorcerers.

Kurt, on the other hand, had been training to run the kingdom since he was three-years-old. He shadowed his father with the utmost dedication, studying hard with his tutor and even found the time to help his sisters with their outrageous situations. Today for instance, he had helped his father solve a near fiscal cliff, finished ten pages of Calculus homework and had just finished helping Snow White find non-lethal apples for her apple pie.

"And no, you cannot have the dwarfs over for a party tonight," he sighed, taking yet another poisonous apple from her grasp and throwing it in the trash. "Last time got way out of control,"

Snow frowned. "But I wished in the well this morning-"

"Yeah, well wishes don't always come true," Kurt said shortly.

Cinderella skipped into the kitchen. "Perhaps you should try dreaming about it, Snow. A dream is a wish your heart makes-"

Kurt groaned. "Cindy, last night I dreamed Kristin Chenoweth came and gave me a blow job. And my dream-self enjoyed it. If that's going to come true, I'd rather just stab myself with a fork,"

"You mean a thing-a-mah-bob?" asked Ariel from her spot in the sink.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "No, I mean a fork. We both know it's a fork Ariel, you can drop the act and you can definitely stop bathing in the sink, you've got legs."

He moved forward, tripping dizzily over a snakelike object on the ground. "Ugh!" he cried. "For the last time, Rapunzel, it is time for a haircut!"

A 'man' strutted into the kitchen, holding a sword bravely. "Kurt!" a comically low voice called out. "There is a visitor, I think they're trying to capture the Emperor!"

Dodging the silverware dancing across the floor, Kurt snatched the helmet off of the messenger. "Thank you, Mulan. Remember, we love you no matter what. If you wanna be a boy, that's great, but we're totally good with you being a girl,"

She smiled. "Cool, thanks bro!"

Grimacing back, Kurt made his way to the sitting room. "And remember," he cried behind his back. "He's not the Emperor, he's the king and he's our father, you can just call him dad!"

Turning to face the parlor, he grinned at the site in front of him. Blaine Anderson, who lived in the fortress next door, sat in the parlor, dressed handsomely in a purple bowtie and maroon sweater vest.

Kurt adjusted his blazer instinctively, praying his hair hadn't been harmed by the fumes of Pocahontas's winds, which she had decided to paint neon today. "Blaine!" he exclaimed. "Nice to see you,"

Running a hand through his curly black hair, Blaine sheepishly smiled. "Hey, I just came to apologize for my siblings again,"

Kurt laughed, not even surprised this time. Blaine was like Kurt the oldest of eleven, only he was the the sibling of a gaggle of rebels, all of them constantly messing with Kurt's sisters. He had been coming over nearly every day for months now to right his family's wrongs. It had gotten to the point that Kurt almost became excited when his sisters complained about their villains, it almost always meant Blaine would visit soon.

"Uh oh," Kurt sighed. "What was it this time? I already know about the apples though, I sorted them."

"Jafar unraveled all Jasmine's blankets and Malicifent spiked Aurora's breakfast with sleeping pills. Oh and Facilier gave Tiana's voo doo doll a unibrow-"

A piercing shriek sounded from upstairs.

Blaine blushed, looking guilty. "That would probably be that..."

Kurt shrugged. "I think Aurora could do with some sleep. Maybe she'll still be out when Phillip comes tonight and I won't have to use earplugs tonight."

Giggling shamelessly, Blaine shook his head. "Yeah but Tiana and Jasmine-"

"Jasmine needs stop buying woven things! She know Jafar will just unravel them. And Tiana will live, it's nothing a good eyebrow plucking will fix, believe me I probably need the practice for mine." Kurt insisted, rolling his eyes as he gestured to his brow.

"I think your gorgeous," blurted Blaine. His cheeks flashed and he looked down. "I mean... You don't need the practice, that's all,"

Blushing, Kurt pressed his lips together in thought. "Imagine that, the prince dating the villain," he murmured.

Blaine laughed. "I thought you were the smart one, the one that wasn't supposed to fall for the villain's tricks,"

Kurt raised an eyebrow, staring Blaine in the eye. "Am I? Falling for a trick I mean?"

The shorter boy shook his head slowly, not breaking eye contact. "No,"

The pale teen took a deep breath, looking out the window at the vast kingdom before him. "I do think I'm falling though," he whispered.

Blaine preened slightly before standing up to walk to the door. "Maybe we could go get some dinner tonight? 8 o'clock?" he asked.

Kurt smiled. "Sure. Could we go for seafood? Ariel never lets us eat fish, says they're her friends."

Nodding, Blaine swallowed hard and quickly pecked Kurt on the cheek. "It's a date,"

And as the door swung shut and Kurt hurried to watch as Blaine skipped happily across the drawbridge (punching his fist in the air and doing what seemed to be a complex jig), the eldest prince for once felt happy to have one more thing to do. In fact, he even felt a song coming on.

"Don't worry," he whispered to Louis, Tiana's alligator. "If a music number is needed, I'm sure Blaine and I will be able to handle our own choreography and costume arrangements,"

THAT WAS WAY TOO MUCH FUN TOO WRITE! Just to clarify, I love Disney princesses, especially the more recent more independent ones, like Tiana. But they are fun to make fun of :)