disclaimer: its not mine
warnings: slash. don't like it, don't read it.
a/ns: Thanks everyone for your reviews on last chapter. A bit more Jack in this one to keep you all staisfied...thanks to sunshinesuperman for the beta!
"On sleepless roads the sleepless go." -Jimmy Eat World
They had found Jack Harkness wondering floor five hundred of the Gamestation, a dazed look on his face, or so Dominic Cartwright had been told.
They had arrested him immediately, hustled him straight to Foreline and locked him up on circumstantial evidence, awaiting a confession.
Dominic could remember the way Jack Harkness had been dumped at his feet, drugged and barely conscious. He'd looked up with cloudy blue eyes, and Cartwright had felt, instinctively, in just one instant, that Jack Harkness was innocent.
He was standing outside Jack Harkness's cell, watching the other man sleep. He'd relieved the guard who was standing duty over this cell ten minutes ago, and Jack Harkness hadn't stirred. It was a refreshing change to the sleep the other man usually had, filled with nightmares he couldn't remember.
The victims on the Gamestation had all been killed with a high heat, electrical force which had a single entry point. In other words, they'd been electrocuted, but by a weapon that, most likely, would send an intense jet of electric energy at the victim, which then travelled around the rest of the body, fusing the living circuits, so to speak. It was instantaneous.
That was another thing that troubled Dominic. To kill that many people, using only one weapon, a weapon which hadn't been recovered at the scene, would have taken hours, especially as the victims were not all in one place, but spread about the satellite.
They had also found a delta wave, a very powerful delta wave, complete and ready to be used. A delta wave which could have easily destroyed the planet, let alone the satellite. If Jack Harkness was such a vicious murderer, why didn't he just kill everyone using that?
Detective Haygan seemed unconcerned by these details. All he was interested in was locking Jack Harkness up. And then executing him. When Dominic had tried to express his concerns, Haygan had snapped that the world was in ruins from the recent terrorist activity and the execution of Jack Harkness would raise morale.
It took him a moment to realise that Jack Harkness was awake, and staring at him with his clear blue eyes.
"Doctor," he murmured in his thick American accent. "Enjoying the view?"
Dominic lowered his head, trying to fight the blush that stained his cheeks.
He cleared his throat.
"Captain Harkness. How are you doing this morning?"
Jack Harkness sat up, unfolding his lean body from his uncomfortable looking position on the floor.
"As well as can be expected when I'm sleeping on a sheet of glass."
Dominic allowed himself a small smile.
Jack Harkness was scrutinising him.
"When's my memory going to come back?"
Dominic sighed.
"I don't know. I'm confident that it will come back, but I'm afraid there's no way of knowing exactly when."
"I need to get out of here, doc. I don't belong here. I need to…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "There's something I need to do, somewhere I need to go. I know it."
He slammed a hand down onto the glass floor with a sudden slap.
"Dammit! I know I didn't kill those people!"
"I believe you."
The words were out of Dominic's mouth before he could stop them, and he froze, pressing his lips tightly together in case some more unwanted thoughts should slip out.
Jack Harkness narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
"You do, huh? And this couldn't just be some trick into making me confess?"
"I'm a doctor, not a policeman," Dominic replied, a slight cold edge to his tone. He hated the police.
"Hm." Jack Harkness sat back a little, seeming to consider this. "You don't know me," he began slowly. "This could either work for my advantage, or against it. You see, if I did kill those people, which I firmly believe I didn't, and you knew me, you would probably be able to tell. But since I didn't, you don't have any reason not to believe me." He looked suddenly sad. "But then again, you wouldn't have any reason to believe me either."
"I do believe you."
Dominic found himself leaning against the glass, wishing suddenly he could be inside the wall, inside the cell, to show Jack Harkness that someone believed in him.
"I do. But that isn't enough to convince anyone else. You have to remember Jack. That's the only way. What about this doctor you mentioned? Can't you remember anything about him?"
Jack closed his eyes for a long moment.
"Nothing," he said. "It's like, I know I know it, but I can't access it, any of it. As if something's just covering it all up…"
Dominic stared hard at him, his mind working over a case of amnesia he'd dealt with a few months back. The girl had had her memory modified, and as a result she'd been unable to remember certain details completely unconnected with the modification. It was possible, just possible, that if Jack Harkness had had any substantial memory modification the signals to his brain could be getting mixed up. If it had been a large span of his memory removed, the brain might have trouble finding the right signals, distinguishing between the modified memory and the traumatised loss.
It was a long shot, a really long shot considering he had no idea if Jack's memory had ever been modified, and there was no point in asking Jack himself, but Dominic could do a scan in no time at all.
If the memory had been modified, the brain waves would be different.
"There may be a way."
Jack sat up a bit straighter, his eyes alert.
"A way to get my memories back?" he asked.
Dominic nodded cautiously.
"It might not work. It might not even be possible. You shouldn't get your hopes up."
"How?"
Dominic swallowed heavily. He was beginning to wonder if this was a bad idea.
"It is possible that if you've had any sort of memory modification in the past, it is impeding your recovery, possibly even preventing it. I can scan you, to see if your brain waves are different."
Jack frowned.
"But why would my memory have been modified?"
"For any reasons. Medical, personal. Who knows why people have their memories modified?"
"Or have them modified for them," muttered Jack darkly.
Dominic shot him a questioning look, but Jack only shook his head roughly.
"This scan. When can you do it?"
"I can do it now," Dominic replied. "But I'm not so sure it's a good id-"
"Do it," Jack interrupted. "Do it now."
Dominic regarded him carefully.
"And what if you don't like the answers?"
Jack Harkness smiled ruefully.
"I guess it's time to find out."
Dominic pressed the access panel and slipped inside the cell, the door hissing shut behind him. He withdrew his scanner from his pocket, a metal implement no larger than a pen (though, of course, no one actually used pens anymore) and pressed the tiny button on the end.
A thin jet of purple light shot out of the end, a beam that could scan the body, skeleton, tissue, skin, organs, everything in a microsecond.
"Close your eyes," he advised.
Jack obediently closed his eyes, and Dominic trained the laser between them, moving it slowly up and down. The scanner beeped and he shut the light off, sliding back a panel to reveal the screen.
On the screen was a minute outline of Jack Harness's brain. Most of the areas were green, which showed normal brain activity, however there was a bright splash of neon pink in the parietal lobe.
Dominic let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding.
He had been right. And yet, the results weren't exactly what he'd been expecting either, he knew, studying the pink line that ran right around the edge of the cerebral cortex.
He shut off the scanner, shoving it back into his pocket.
Jack opened his eyes expectantly.
"Well doc? Do I dare ask the prognosis?"
"Your memory's been modified," Dominic replied. "And judging from the size of the waves, it's a fairly substantial time period." He considered. "I would estimate two, three years."
Jack stared at him.
"Three years?" he repeated softly. "Someone stole three years of my memories?"
Dominic leant towards him eagerly.
"Stole?" he questioned. "Why do you say stole?"
"I…" Jack shook his head helplessly. "I don't know, I don't…I can't take this!" He grabbed the front of Dominic's shirt, and Dominic felt himself shrinking away.
"That's not all," he said, and Jack froze, eyes narrow with suspicion.
"Tell me."
"Your memory has been modified twice. Once for the two years missing, and once for, well, everything."
"I don't understand," Jack said.
"Your amnesia is not a shock reaction as I originally expected," Dominic explained uneasily. "Someone wiped your memory completely Jack. Whatever happened up on the Gamestation, someone didn't want you to remember it, any of it."
Jack stared at him for a long moment.
"You said there was something you could do, if my memory had been modified," he said finally. "What? What is it?"
"It's, uh, a sort of reversal," Dominic stammered. "It sort of freezes your brainwaves until they can restore a regular pattern. Until the signals can be read correctly."
Jack tightened his fists in Dominic's shirt, and Dominic felt an unexpected thrill at being so close to the other man. Talk about timing.
"Do it," Jack hissed. "Right now. Do it."
Dominic pulled away.
"I can't," he replied. "It's not like the scan. I have to prepare the equipment. I have to prepare you. This is an extremely sensitive experiment. If the proper precautions aren't met, the results could be disastrous. Fatal even."
Jack backed away, shaking his head as he paced round his cell.
"Tomorrow then," he said. "Or the day after. As soon as you can, because I don't think I can live another day like…"
His voice trailed off, and he scrubbed a hand across his face then covered his eyes, his back to Dominic.
Dominic bit his lip, then slowly went towards the other man, his hand hovering in mid air before gently resting on Jack's back.
"Tomorrow," he promised softly. "We'll do it tomorrow."
He felt Jack shuddering under his hand.
"Why do you believe me?" he asked softly. He laughed, but to Dominic's ears it sounded forced. "Not that I'm complaining of course."
"I-" Dominic hesitated, unsure what to say. "I don't know, I just…do."
Jack turned, and Dominic felt his breath suddenly lodge in his throat.
There was a flicker of understanding in Jack's eyes and he leant ever so slightly forward, his breath ghosting over Dominic's lips.
Dominic knew he had to pull away, to end this before it even began, because it was wrong in so many senses, no matter how much he wanted it.
Jack didn't move any nearer, waiting for Dominic to make his move.
He wanted to walk away. He should have walked away.
But he couldn't.
He closed his eyes, leant forward, and as he felt Jack's arms wrap around him, knew there was no going back.
Rose was frozen in complete terror, not daring to move a muscle.
The Doctor slowly raised his hands to his chest, palms outward.
"It's alright," he said. "I'm unarmed."
Rose felt her captor press the blaster more firmly against her neck.
"Who are you?"
It was a woman, she realised, with surprise. She'd expected it to be a man, with such a strong grip.
"I'm the Doctor," he replied. "And that's Rose Tyler. Who are you?"
"I'm the one asking questions here!" the woman snarled. "Who sent you?"
The Doctor looked vaguely perplexed.
"We sent ourselves. Why, who did you think had sent us?"
"Is that some kind of a trick question?" she asked.
"Um…no?"
Rose bit her lip.
"We're not here to hurt you," she said timidly.
The woman jerked her again, stabbing at her neck with the blaster.
"Shut up!"
She seemed strangely panicked.
"She's right," the Doctor said. "We're not looking for trouble. In fact, we just ran away from it. Up there" He gestured to the ceiling, indicating the street above.
Rose felt the grip on her loosen slightly.
"What trouble?" she asked suspiciously.
"There were voices," Rose said. "They sounded like trouble."
"And how do I know you're not some of them, sent to massacre us?"
"Who's us?" the Doctor asked.
"Oh you know," the woman replied. "I know you do."
The Doctor took a tentative step towards them.
"I promise you we don't. And we don't mean any harm. Please, just let her go."
Rose could feel her captor's hesitation.
"Please," she whispered.
The woman let her go very suddenly, thrusting her into the Doctor's arms.
Rose regained her balance, the Doctor's hands on her arms steadying her, and whirled around.
The woman was still pointing the blaster at them, but Rose was less inclined to be afraid when she saw the fear in the other girl's eyes. And it was a girl, she realised now, looking no more than about sixteen. Her blonde hair was tangled and her pale cheeks were smudged with dirt, her clothes ripped, but her voice was commanding, almost posh. It was the voice of a woman.
"What happened to you?" Rose asked.
The girl narrowed her blue eyes.
"Shut up," she snapped.
Behind Rose, the Doctor made a sound in the back of his throat.
"You know," he said, "that isn't very polite."
The girl glared at them.
"Where did you come from?"
"The TARDIS."
"What's a TARDIS?"
"It's my ship," the Doctor replied, a note of impatience in his voice. "Now how about you answer us a few questions. What's going on here?"
The girl was staring at them.
"Space travellers?" she asked, her voice wavering.
Rose felt the Doctor tense slightly.
"That's right. We're space travellers. Tourists."
The girl shook her head.
"That's impossible. You can't, not since…"
"Since what?"
The girl raised her head, her blue eyes steely as she looked at him in the dim light
"Since they came."
He took a step toward her.
"And who are they?"
"They're the ones who have forced us to hide down here. Who killed our families, set fire to our homes. Who stood there and laughed while we screamed as they tortured us."
She raised the blaster again, pointing it in the Doctor's face.
"And if you're not one of us, you must be one of them."
The Doctor didn't react to the threat, though Rose went tense behind him, her eyes glued to the blaster's point.
"We're not."
"Then how did you get past their force fields?" she demanded. "How did you get your spaceship here?"
"It's a time ship. It travels through wormholes in time, undetectable to the radars used to monitor comings and goings."
She didn't look convinced.
"You're lying."
"Look at us, do we look like them?"
She hesitated.
"It could be a disguise!"
"But it's not," the Doctor insisted gently. "You can trust us. We're here to help you."
"I can't trust anyone," she whispered.
She looked so young, so lost, that Rose felt compelled to step forward from the Doctor's protection, suddenly not so wary of the blaster.
"You lost someone, didn't you?" she asked softly.
The girl nodded, her eyes hidden behind the tangles of her hair.
"So did I," Rose said. "He died, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I know how it feels, to be all alone. I know what it's like."
She could feel the Doctor behind her, feel his stillness. The girl raised her head, tears creating white tracks in the dirt on her cheeks.
"They took my parents, and then they raped my sister in front of me. I only got away because I killed one of them. I couldn't save her. I wasn't fast enough."
"I'm sorry," Rose whispered, and her pain over Jack seemed to double, hearing this girl's heartbreaking story of survival.
She took another step forward.
"You don't have to be alone anymore."
The girl was watching her, eyes damp and tired, and Rose wanted to take care of her, wanted to take her pain away.
"I'm Evey," she said, holding out her hand, and the formality made Rose want to laugh.
"Rose."
She did laugh then, holding Evey's hand in hers, and to her surprise Evey laughed too, gripping Rose's hand as if it was the only thing keeping her sane.
"Come on," said Evey. "Come with me, and I'll tell you everything."
Dominic pulled out of Jack's embrace sharply, pushing the other man away from him.
"I can't," he said.
Jack nodded.
"I know."
"It's not that I don't want to…"
Jack nodded again.
"But you're my doctor."
"Exactly."
They stood awkwardly, facing each other, and Dominic longed to pull Jack back into his arms, to feel his lips, hot and desperate.
There was a sharp rap on the glass behind them.
Dominic whirled, feeling his cheeks flush, to see Magson on the other side.
He half turned back to Jack.
"I have to…"
"I understand."
He risked one last glance at Jack before quickly leaving the cell, raising an enquiring eyebrow at Magson as the door slid shut behind him, hoping he didn't look as guilty as he felt.
"Detective Haygan is on the holopad for you sir."
Dominic swore inwardly, but only gave Magson a slight nod.
"Thank you."
He went quickly to his office, a sick feeling in the pit of stomach. Haygan would only be calling in the middle of the night about one patient, the very patient Dominic was desperate to keep him away from.
Haygan was a fuzzy blue image on his desk, and he sat down in his chair.
"What is it Haygan?"
"We have information on ElectroBoy."
ElectroBoy. That was what the cops had been calling Jack. Because of the way the victims had died.
"His name is Jack Harkness," he snapped, then immediately flushed. Keep it together.
"Whatever," Haygan said dismissively. "We know who he is."
Dominic leant forward, his heart pounding in his throat.
"Who?"
"He was a Time Agent. And the Time Agency are rather determined to get him back. They didn't seem to know he was alive."
A Time Agent. Jack was a Time Agent.
"They're going to send one of their people over tomorrow, to validate his identity. From then on things should move pretty quickly. It'll be no time at all before we have the SOB behind bars and then into the chair."
Dominic frowned. Under the table, he clenched one hand into a fist.
"The Time Agency aren't taking him?"
Haygan laughed, but it wasn't a very pleasant sound.
"A prime suspect in a high profile case? Don't be an idiot, Cartwright."
Dominic said nothing, but he had a very strong feeling the Time Agency wouldn't just sit around and watch an amnesiac Agent be tried for first degree murder. If he was guilty, it would be an embarrassment, and if he was innocent, they would want to protect him. No, if a Time Agent turned up at Foreline tomorrow, he doubted very much any of them would be seeing Jack Harkness again.
Which means his memory can't wait.
He forced his attention back to Haygan.
"Very good, Detective. I will make sure everything runs smoothly."
"See that you do, Cartwright. We can't afford any mistakes."
Dominic nodded, and sank back in relief as Haygan ended the transmission.
Somehow, he now felt surer than ever that Jack Harkness was innocent. And if he was going to help him, he had to hurry.
They didn't have much time.
Evey led them along a maze of abandoned tunnels, giving no indication of where she was going, and Rose and the Doctor followed her unquestioningly.
When she finally stopped, it was in front an old metal sliding door that appeared to be stuck half way.
"This is from before," she explained, a note of pride in her voice. "You know, years and years ago. They don't even make doors like this anymore."
She slipped through the gap, and Rose followed her, emerging into a square room which had a broken computer console and a wall of smashed TV screens at one end.
"My God," Rose breathed. "These look like they could have been from my time."
"They might well be," said the Doctor, emerging into the room behind her. "Evey's right. These doors haven't been made for thousands of years."
There were various blankets and pillows on the floor, and they all sat down on them in a little circle, Rose and the Doctor's attention on Evey.
"So, I suppose you want to know everything?"
The Doctor nodded, and Evey cast her eyes towards the ceiling, as if trying to decide where to begin.
"It happened two weeks ago, when the Gamestation stopped broadcasting."
Rose saw the Doctor lean forward eagerly. That was where they'd been, at the Gamestation.
"We found out later that it had been a murder, but at the time the games just stopped working. It was weird. And then the terrorists came."
"A murder," repeated the Doctor, eyes crinkled in confusion. "What murder?"
Evey looked at them with sorrowful eyes.
"Over a hundred people were killed," she said. "Just slaughtered. No one knows why or how. But they know who."
"The Daleks," Rose breathed.
Evey frowned.
"What?" she asked. "Did you say Daleks?"
Rose nodded. "They're…monsters," she tried to explain, but Evey cut her off.
"I know what they are. And I'm also perfectly aware that they don't exist. They're a myth."
"They're a forgotten race," corrected the Doctor. "One which we thought had been obliterated until recently. They were the ones who killed the people on Satellite 5."
Evey was staring at him.
"No," she said firmly. "It was a man."
"What?"
"It was a man. The only found one survivor. They say he can't remember, but that it will just be a matter. It must have been him. How could it not be?"
"A man," Rose breathed. "Someone survived?" They must have been hiding, the Daleks must have missed them. She thought of Jack, who she knew would have gone down fighting. He was probably throwing insults at them, even right at the end.
Evey nodded.
"Like I said, they're pretty sure that he's the one who did it. Which sounds a little more probable than Daleks. No offence."
"None taken," the Doctor said grimly. "The Daleks are regarded as a myth, if acknowledged at all. The only witnesses to their existence are those who were on that satellite. And now they're all dead but one, and he can't remember anything."
"That was just the start of it," Evey said. "The massacre of the Gamestation. Terrorists bombed the whole planet. Millions were killed."
"Not terrorists," Rose said. "Daleks."
Evey didn't seem to hear her.
"And then they came. The space pirates. It must have been something to do with the transmitting signal, with the bombings, they must have sensed something was wrong when it got switched off. Anyway, they invaded, the whole world, millions of them. They're slaughtering us, and they won't stop until we're all dead."
She turned away from them, and Rose bit her lip.
"What are space pirates?" she asked the Doctor softly.
"Blood hunters. They prowl the universes looking for weak planets, then massacre them just for the fun of it." His eyes hardened. "I've done it again, Rose. I've left without bothering to think about the aftermath, the consequences. This is my fault."
"It's not your fault. I nearly died, you were regenerating. You couldn't have undone this without killing yourself first, and then where would that have left me? I'd already lost Jack, I couldn't lose you too."
She stared hard at him, willing him to understand, willing him to believe her.
"You saved them from becoming another race of Daleks. You saved them from something worse than death."
"To throw them into the path of death itself."
"You couldn't have known. This isn't your fault."
He bowed his head.
"Is my life really worth all those on this planet?" he asked, his voice heavy, dark.
"If I had had to make the choice I would have," she said. "I would have chosen you. Up there, on the satellite, you wouldn't use the Delta wave. Because you knew then there would be no chance. That's who you are. You would never have asked for this to happen. I know you."
"You were on the Gamestation."
Evey's voice was flat behind them, and Rose felt a trickle of unease in her stomach.
"Yes."
"This is your fault. You did this."
Rose shook her head.
"No. We didn't. I lost a very good friend on that satellite. So don't you dare say this is our fault. If I could go back and never visit that stupid satellite I would. I would do anything to have Jack back. And I would never inflict that sort of pain on anyone. So no, it isn't our fault. We were there to save this planet from something worse than space pirates. Something that Jack died because of."
She was startled to feel the tears on her cheeks, the pain of Jack's death like a bullet in her chest.
The Doctor's hand was gentle on her arm, and his sorrow was reflected back at her, in his eyes.
"The survivor," he said. "He holds the key to this. We need to speak to him."
"And what about my planet?" Evey demanded. "You said you'd help me. My parents are dead! I'm alone and all you care about is some stupid murderer?"
"Come with us."
Evey stared at him, her eyes wide.
"There's nothing left for you here. Come with us, and you'll find out for yourself what happened on Satellite 5."
The Doctor leant towards her, a firm hand on her slender shoulder.
"I can't undo what was done to your family. If I could, I would, I swear to you. But I'm giving you a chance to escape now. Come with us."
There was a long moment of silence.
"Okay," Evey said finally. "I'll come."
Jack Harkness was sitting in a chair with several wires stuck to his head by little rubber pads, trying very hard not to feel nervous.
Dominic was standing at a control console across the room, twiddling complicated knobs and levers, that reminded Jack very strongly of something he couldn't quite remember.
Dominic turned around, and Jack felt a flash of warmth in his chest as he looked into the other man's face. This was someone who cared for him, who trusted him, though Jack had no idea why he should.
Dominic hadn't said why he'd changed his mind about doing the procedure tonight, but Jack noticed his movements were tense, nervous. He had the feeling something was wrong, but he didn't want to ask.
"You'll feel tingles," Dominic said, his back to Jack. "And try to keep your breaths deep and even. It might be a little overwhelming at first, the onslaught of memories. Just remember to keep calm."
Jack nodded, swallowing nervously.
Dominic turned to face him, and Jack could see the tightness of his mouth.
"You might not find what you're looking for, Jack."
Jack looked at him, studied his face.
"You believed in my innocence, without any proof. Why? Because you felt attracted to me?"
"It was more than that," Dominic said quietly. "There was something about you, about your eyes." He shook his head. "Listen to me, going on about your eyes. But they do say they're the window to the soul."
"You saw something in me," Jack said. "Whatever it is you saw, that's what I'm counting on. That's what I'm looking for."
They stared at each other for a moment, then Dominic nodded.
"Okay. Close your eyes."
tbc