Entry Three: A Most Traumatizing Incident
I have punished the perpetrators of the horse incident as mentioned in the previous entry, and I am glad to mention that they have been well and truly chastised, stripped of their ranks and thrown out of Mirkwood. I had to have a complete overhaul of my staff as over twenty of the servants had been exiled. It is a most vexing matter that I have had to tax my mind over. And I have to say that it is entirely their fault for planning this conspiracy against my little leaf. My dearest friend, Lord Elrond of Imladris, believes that I have overreacted in this matter and put the blame on innocent bystanders. However, I do very much object to this statement. It must be that age has clouded his perception and dulled his intellect, for the incriminating evidence against those involved were overwhelming.
Now, let us get to the main purpose of my entry. It has recently come to my attention that the young female elflings have become increasingly enamored of my son as of late. It is unacceptable. They have even begun to form a fan club that extensively monitors my son's actions. It is just abominable! I vaguely remember a most traumatizing incident that has scarred my mind permanently. It occurred when I was but an elfling of 120 years.
A graceful elleth maiden stepped into my path and we crashed into each other. She fell to the floor with a cry of pain. I stared at her worriedly. She had this most alluring scent of cherry blossoms upon her fair self, and her hair fell in rippling silver waves over her back. She was an enchanting vision.
"My lady, I do greatly apologize for causing you injury. Do you require any assistance?"
I reached out a hand and she grabbed it. Hard. Her eyes began to sparkle and I felt a keen sense of foreboding in my chest that told of imminent danger. I should have known to always trust instinct, but at the tender age of 120, it was sadly lost to me. After all, what destruction could a mere elleth wreak? It appears as if I was horribly wrong. She hauled herself up and immediately jumped onto me, wrapping her legs around my chest like a vise, expelling all the breath from my lungs. She clung to me like a limpet, refusing to let go even when I turned blue from suffocation. She planted the most horrifyingly wet kisses upon my fair, unblemished skin. I was scarred beyond repair.
That day, when I went home to my Ada, King Oropher, I did not dare to breathe a word of what had transpired and the elleth's attempt at assault(RAPE!) to my princely self. After all, who would believe me and understand the woes that we fabulous elves face? It is a crime! A crime to be so gorgeous.
So now, I am determined to save my son from this horrifying experiences that will no doubt scar his psyche till the end of time. If Legolas is ever harassed as I once was, I would definitely take action against them no matter their age or gender. So, watch out you disgusting, depraved perverted pedophiles!
-Thranduil, Traumatized ElvenKing and Defender of Legolas's Virtue