Every day I wonder if Tenma is happy where she is. If she's comfortable, has new friends, a new life, but still misses us.
I had a dream last night. Tenma was an angel, her lovely face smiling as she called to me. Harima! I'm here! We can speak again! I love you too, and now you can be with me.
Forever?
Forever. Now come here, Harima. Come save me, I've been alone as well.
I fly over to her, and realize that I have wings too. Uh, Tenma? Why do I have wings? Am I dead or something? Please tell me that isn't true.
Her smile never wavers. Oh, Harima, you are.
Whattt?
I don't like the way you did it, but I'm flattered that you love me so much.
Wait, Tenma, I don't understand. What way? What did I do?
Tenma stops grinning. You shot yourself to be with me. And now you are. She grabs me, her lips arching out, flying up so that we're eye level.
No, Tenma stop! This isn't right!
You don't love me anymore?
No, I do! That's not the problem-She interrupts me with a kiss, but it wasn't how I imagined it. The passion was lost. Stop!
Why? Now we're together. Forever.
I wake with a gasp. It takes me several minutes to calm down.
"Tenma wouldn't do that," I pant. But would I?
No. Never. I've vowed to be Yakumo's Onii-chan. I can't leave her all alone; because I'm the only one she has left.
I remember the time where Tenma helped me work on the manga, and she ruined an entire page by painting a panel black. How she pulled me onto her while asleep…
The manga! I'll always have that reminding me as well. Maybe I should quit.
No! Part of my mind reasons. It'll help you, like therapy or somethin'.
You're right! So I won't quit, but I won't draw Tenma anymore, and that is my line.
Itoko peeks into the room. "Kenji? You're still here? You were supposed to leave for school an hour ago." She turns and shuts the door.
"Whattt?" I pull off my pajamas and get dressed quickly. No time for breakfast.
I burst off running down the street, only to feel a pain in my feet and realize that I forgot my shoes. I bolt back into the apartment and yank them on.
Too bad I sold my bicycle. And Itoko 'borrowed' my motorcycle. I begin to sprint again.
I arrive at school thirty minutes later. And the teacher says nothing as he lets me in the room and marks me tardy.
Yakumo isn't there that day, so I don't eat lunch either. I'm broke, remember?
I head to the water fountain, and take long slurps from the liquid inside. Someone silently activates the one next to me and does the same. This reminds me of something…
"Karasuma?"
He stops drinking. "Yes?"
"Did you love Tenma?" I get a closer look at him. His face looks gaunt, his eyes lined with red.
"What do you think?" Karasuma begins to sniffle. His face begins to lose its rigidity. A tear rolls down one cheek, then the other. He crumples, and doubles over.
I rush over to him, and pat him silently on the back, which reminds me of Yakumo. How is she? "Karasuma? You okay?"
"I never even told her! She died, not knowing of my love for her. I didn't even speak to her before she died! I'm a coward!" Karasuma lashes out at the brick wall, and his fingers begin to bleed. "A coward! A coward!"
I grab him, and stop him from hitting the wall. He turns and stares at me, his once emotionless eyes wide and pouring tears. "A coward…"
"I don't think it mattered if you told her or not, because I know that she loved you." I admit. My dream, I knew Tenma wouldn't do that because she loved Karasuma, not me. Somewhere deep inside my heart I had known that all along.
"You think?"
"NO. I know." He wipes his face on his sleeve, and turns to leave. "For what it's worth, you guys belonged together."
"Thank you, Harima." He opens the door and leaves.
When he does, I feel like the most worthless person in the world. How could I be that way for an entire month, not truly feeling sympathy for anyone but myself?
Lunch is over, and I somehow endure the remaining hours.
When I pass by the main door, Rich Girl is standing there.
"Beard."
"Don't call me that. I don't have one anymore, Rich Girl."
"Let's make a deal. Don't call me Rich Girl and I won't call you Beard." She says.
"No, let's make another deal. How about you and your friends leave me alone?"
Rich Girl seems stunned, and I push past her. As I pass, she grabs my arm.
"Harima, you aren't alone."
I loosen her grasp and leave, but it's no use. Her words are ringing in my head. Harima, you aren't alone.
It's true, I'm not. And I need to get over this, but I'm not ready yet. I was never a fast recoverer. I'm too stubborn.
Well, so is Blondie. My little voice speaks. I remember how stubborn she is.
I look up once again into a clear sky, the color of Tenma's eyes. It's spring, Tenma's season.
Tenma, what should I do?