CHAPTER THREE

With intertwined hands, the two girls walked down the stone paved pathway to the graveyard, squeezing their hands together to remind each other that they weren't alone.

Sophia and Iris carried two bunches of flowers in their other hands, a mix of yellow lily's and blue Iris's. Sophia admitted that she was the one to pick up the flowers that morning to take with, and it had brought a smile to Iris's face as she saw the meaning behind them.

It was the first time that Sophia was going to visit her two friends that had fallen since her return home. She had taken the first few days to get back into a relatively normal routine in terms of her health. Quite a bit of her time had been taken up with thinking about her powers, what she would do now that they were gone. She wasn't sure how she was going to break it to the others, but she wanted to be out there on the front line still. She was able to fight, and she didn't want to sit back and watch Barry run into danger head first without her. But somehow she knew that it wouldn't work out like that in the end. She tried not to dwell on it too much considering there were more important things going on, but it was hard not to. She hadn't bothered to look at the fact that according to Central City she was declared legally dead. She also hadn't had time to factor in that she didn't have a job anymore, and that her old life was basically thrown completely upside down. She just tried to focus on functioning like a normal human being and reigniting her relationships with those she had left behind.

She hadn't had a chance to properly mourn, to give her prayers and thanks to the two men who had sacrificed their lives that day. She wished that Caitlin would have responded to her message to come with, but she had yet to receive any indication from the red-head that she would be accompanying them today.

She was just glad that Iris had given her a small smile, agreeing to come with. Their graves were next to each other, in the corner of the graveyard, settled underneath a beautiful willow tree that was flourishing with vibrant greens and pinks around as flowers grew on the ground next to the stones that marked their graves.

Eddie Thawne and Ronald Raymond.

Sophia took a deep breath as her eyes flickered over their names, gulping as she felt her throat closing up. She let go of Iris's hand, taking a step forward, her brown boots crunching against the grass as she placed one set of flowers in front of Ronnie's grave. Iris then took the initiative, moving forward and placing the other beside Eddie's.

Sophia couldn't help but notice that next to theirs in the corner, she found her own headstone. Her heart lurched in her chest at the sight of her name, reminding her that she needed to speak to Joe to see if it could be removed. She quickly adjusted her gaze, hoping that Iris didn't notice she was staring at it, her eyes moving back to Eddie and Ronnie's head stones.

"Hey there, you two," Sophia said, trying to force a smile on her face. "I'm sorry for not coming earlier, things have been a bit crazy. I-I uh-, I don't know what to say…" She paused. "Though I didn't know you as long as I would have liked, you both became my friends very fast, and in the end, you were like family," Sophia's voice cracked, but she continued, finding the strength when Iris stood next to her, holding onto her hand. "You'll never be forgotten, your sacrifice will never be forgotten. I'm going to miss you both, especially you Eddie. You both deserved more than this." She wasn't sure how she had remained so composed until the end. The tears were steadily streaming down her face and she used her free hand to wipe them away, sniffling as she dabbed her nose with a tissue she pulled out of her pocket, glad that she had remembered to bring a few along with her.

Iris then spoke a few words, her voice stronger than Sophia's. She always applauded Iris's strength, and she was so glad to have that to hold on to. But as time trickled on, Sophia's thoughts drowned them out, like an echo in the distance.

She felt guilty. You don't deserve to be here the voice in her head rang. You deserve to be buried in the ground, just like they were.

She had cheated death. They had all made a sacrifice that day, but she had been the one to escape it, safely transported to another Earth instead of obliterated into ashes in the singularity. She didn't deserve to be there, to be alive, when they had suffered. The longer she stared at their names carved in the stone, marking their deaths, she felt herself suffocating.

"I-I have to go, Iris," Sophia suddenly spoke, breaking the silence as she looked over at Iris's tear stained cheeks. This was her fault. No wonder Caitlin didn't want to come along. Why would any of them want to see her when she had been the one to cheat death, when their loved ones had perished.

"What?" Iris blinked, confused at Sophia's sudden change in behaviour.

"I-I can't, I'm sorry," She whispered, walking backwards, nearly tripping over as she turned around and bolted from the graveyard. Without her powers, she wasn't able to fly away like her instincts had told her, so she did what she knew best as a human. She ran, as fast as she could, hoping that eventually she would be able to make her way home. But for now, that didn't matter. All that mattered was the wind hitting her skin as she moved below the stormy grey clouds, her tears slapping against her skin in tandem with the wind.

Hours later she found herself sitting in silence on the broken and torn apart roof of Star Labs. It had been damaged extensively on that day, and had yet to be fully repaired. But she had enough room to sit on a ledge, her legs dangling off dangerously as she stared off into the heart of Central City, admiring the sunset before her very eyes. Hues of pink, blue and yellow blended together to form a beautiful sight that shadowed the tall elegant buildings. A sight that made her feel at home.

She had been up here for a while, but she had no intention of coming down just yet. It had taken quite a bit out of her to get up there. The stairs leading to the little escape hatch to the roof were not made for someone who had just run across half of Central City. Eventually she had slowed her pace into a walk, knowing that if she pushed her body further she would have ended up having an asthma attack on the middle of the sidewalk. She tried not to think about the fact that her body ached much more than it would have with her powers, knowing that if she did a panic attack would accompany her that night. She just wanted to sit up here for a little while longer, escaping the world for just a moment.

She didn't know what to think, what to feel anymore. She had been gone for three months, but it felt like eternity. Do I even deserve to be here?

The thoughts of doubt rattled her mind and she felt helpless. She sniffled, bringing her arms up to her chest, wrapping them around herself in an attempt to keep warm. She was wearing a dark red long sleeve top, but the thin material wasn't enough to keep the cool winds from producing Goosebumps along her smooth skin. She had dropped her jacket off in the empty shell that was the cortex, having felt hot from the run, but she was now regretting that decision.

"I had a feeling I would find you up here."

She knew Barry's voice anywhere. She didn't bother turning around, just kept looking straight ahead. She felt the rush of wind as he ran over, taking a seat next to her, his arm brushing against hers, his thigh pressing into hers as he left no room between them. Having him so close to her again reminded her of the secret she was keeping from him, and it just made the guilt deep inside of her growth even more. She was sure that she would explode with everything she was keeping bottled up inside.

"You know… when you were gone," He spoke, pausing for a moment as he bit his lip. "When you were gone, I would come up here a lot. I would sit here on this ledge and think of you, and I felt like I wasn't alone in the world. Like you would come and find me here like you always did. And every day, I would sit here, and I would pray and I would plead and I would hope that one day you would return to me," Barry said softly, taking her hand in his. "Don't ever leave me again," His voice was barely above a whisper, and she was sure that if he wasn't so close to her that she would have missed it.

She met his gaze and her heart broke as she looked into eyes that was so tired, so worn out, so full of loss and tragedy. A tear trickled down his cheek and she moved forward, kissing it away. She couldn't even begin to imagine the emotional trauma that he had gone through. She licked her lips instinctively, bringing a hand up to cup the side of his face, rubbing her thumb soothingly on the side of his cheek. "I'm here." She exhaled. "I don't deserve to be here, but I am and I promise that I will try my best to deserve you for the rest of my life." Her lips hovered against his before she closed the distance, pressing a soft, slow kiss to the corner of his mouth. His face tilted and this time their lips melded perfectly against each other, a heady sigh leaving his lips as her tongue brushed against his. This time their movements were slow and sensual, savouring each moment between each other. With hooded eyelids she broke away from him, leaning her forehead against his. She was about to move in for another kiss when he brought his fingers to her lips and she smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his finger, her eyes moving from his hand to his eyes, waiting for him to continue.

"You deserve to be here, just like Eddie and Ronnie deserve to be here as well. I know how easy it is just to blame yourself, but it's just the way things worked out. Don't blame yourself for surviving. Never blame yourself for surviving," Barry told her seriously, and with sorrowful eyes she nodded, willing herself not to cry at the words he spoke with such conviction.

She gave him a small smile, her way of saying that she would try. She then snuggled closer to his form, leaning her head against his shoulder, and she closed her eyes, her thoughts focused on Barry, focused on his warmth, his love and his words.

Sophia was sitting in her living room, curled up on her couch with a copy of Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone to keep herself occupied. Barry was running around the apartment, doing a little spring cleaning. She had just hung up her phone after chatting with her father for a little bit. She had visited him last week and nearly given him a heart attack as he watched her with his own two eyes. The whole situation had been traumatic and she did her very best to reassure her father that she was there, alive and safe. She was sure that the quick trip to Kansas would have been much harder if Barry wasn't by her side.

It had been a long and tiring escapade, but she was glad that she sorted things out, and that at least her father could rest easy with the knowledge that she was still alive, that she hadn't left him just yet. It was then with tired eyes and a heavy heart that Barry ran them back to Central City, deciding to spend the night at the West household in his bedroom. She had inquired the next morning what had happened to her apartment and what they were going to do about the whole dilemma of her death on this Earth. Joe had reassured Sophia that they would meet up later and go over what would have to be done next in terms of legalities being put into place and he told her that she was more than welcome to stay with them for the meantime.

When Joe left that morning, leaving them sitting in the kitchen, sipping on their coffee and eating pancakes, Barry had decided to tell Sophia that her apartment was still in her name, and that Chewie was still running around the West house somewhere. The previous day had been such a rush that it had completely slipped his mind to mention it to her. He was still trying to get use to the fact that she was here, in the flesh. That this wasn't just a dream, one that he had reoccurring since her passing.

When he had admitted that he had been paying the rent for her apartment, she gave him the biggest smile, commenting on how he was too sweet and he blushed a light pink, eliciting a giggle from her. But upon this admission, he also told her that he hadn't been back since that day.

Walking into her apartment after so long had been emotionally exhausting. She was finally home. But it was a complete mess. The entire place was covered in a thick layer of dust as a result of her absence, making the uneasy feeling return to her gut as she walked around the room. She moved to get started with a clean-up, but Barry insisted that she just take a seat on her couch and let him do the work. If she had more energy she would have protested a bit more, and at least moved to clean up a few things, but still tired from everything that had been going on in the last week, and the added fact that she had only awoken from a coma that lasted for three months, she knew that she needed to take things a bit easy.

She turned the page of the novel, flipping to the chapter where the first years would be sorted into their houses she heard the vacuum being switched on. The steady hum and suction noise emitted from the cleaning device distracted her momentarily. She placed her bookmark in place, putting it down on the coffee table in front of her that Barry had already wiped down, cleaning it in a seconds notice. She picked up the herbal tea sitting there, taking a sip of the steaming liquid, relishing in the warmth that it brought her. She sighed contentedly as Chewie crawled over, nuzzling her head into her leg. Sophia looked down at her cat with a smile. She hadn't realised that her poor cat would have missed her. She was just glad that she remembered her. Over three months apart was a long time.

"Are you done yet?" Sophia called out into the apartment, noting that the vacuum had been turned off.

"Nearly," Barry yelled out. "Just give me a sec."

Sophia hummed in response, closing her eyes for a moment as she took the opportunity to relax. A rush of wind followed, and Barry was standing in front of her.

"Want to come check it out?" Barry asked with an excited smile. He had cleaned up her apartment in two minutes. Super speed was sure handy. But then looking at the room, he noticed that it looked dull, like it was lacking something, lacking some love and life. So he took the opportunity to redecorate a little bit. He added in some more colourful pillows on top of her monochromatic bed spread. He fixed the broken lightbulb in her bedside lamp, changing the colour of the lamp shade to add some life to the room, opting for a sapphire colour that he thought matched quite well. He then moved onto displaying a few framed photos of Sophia's family, her mother and father and then some gems that the two of them had shared, as well as the team. He was quite proud of the new look and he hoped that she wouldn't mind. He figured that a change of pace would do wonders for the both of them. He knew that the last three months had been extremely painful, and even though she had returned, he still wasn't the same.

He still had to endure the loss of both Ronnie and Eddie. Their deaths rested on his shoulders and the damage left that was littered across the streets of Central City was something that was always on his consciousness. But he hoped now that his love was back in his arms, that things would start to run smoother for not only him, but for all of his friends. He knew that losing all three at once had been a traumatic, and he hoped that for all their sakes that they would soon be on the road to recovery.

"You better not have changed anything," Sophia teased with a serious voice, a raised brow on her face. He froze in his step his eyes darting to hers and she cracked a smile at his frightened expression.

"Kidding."

"Goodness, you love to give me heart palpitations don't you?" Barry rolled his eyes.

"I don't need to open my mouth to do that," Sophia retorted with a laugh and when he turned a bit red at her comment she knew that she was right.

She stood up from the couch, placing her hand in Barry's as they walked over to her room. She noted as she walked to the room that the apartment seemed brighter than it had prior to the clean and for that she was glad. There was also a hint of cinnamon in the air and Sophia loved the smell, finding that it reminded her of Barry on a Sunday morning as they lay in bed, tangled in the soft sheets and pressed up against each other. She blinked, trying to avoid those thoughts as she focused on the task at hand. Her room. Yes, my room.

The room just screamed home and Sophia fell in love the moment she laid eyes on it. It was relatively the same layout as it had been before, but the small changes and the added touches of love that Barry had incorporated really made her heart smile.

"You're amazing you know that?" Sophia asked as she turned her head to look at Barry. She didn't even have to smile with her lips for him to know that she was happy, he could see it all in her gorgeous eyes.

He shrugged giving her a sheepish smile as she pulled him in for a swift kiss before he took her around the room, showing her the way he had also organised her closet. She wondered how he could have done it so fast. She knew that he moved incredibly fast, but just the thought process in setting everything up would have taken a while, and she was sure that he hadn't spent more than ten minutes doing the whole apartment.

"Um, I don't need all this space," Sophia said, an idea popping into her head. She felt incredibly shy all of a sudden, but she knew that she wanted this. She emptied the first three drawers on the side of her closet, leaving only half of them full.

"What are you doing?" Barry asked, eying her as she started to empty the drawers filled with clothes that he had just organised.

"Making space," Sophia said.

"Why?"

"Where else do you suggest you keep your clothes then?" Sophia asked, not expecting him to actually answer. He turned to her with wide eyes and all the shyness she had felt a few moments ago had dissipated as she watched his adorable confused expression.

"Sorry, what?" Barry asked, leaning forward slightly.

"I said where else will you keep your clothes." Sophia bit her lip, her eyes watching him carefully in anticipation.

"Wha-You-Are you asking me to move in with you?" Barry asked, fumbling with his words. She admitted that it was quite funny, but she bit back her laughter, nodding vigorously after he managed to get his question out.

"Yes. I think it's overdue," Sophia mused a grin erupting on her face when she saw Barry take a step forward to her, his lips matching her own.

"I guess you better make a bit more space then. I need a spot to hide my endless collection of converse," Barry said and Sophia leaped into his arms, laughter bubbling out of her as she peppered his face in kisses. He joined in on the laughter, and he was sure that his face was going to hurt soon with the way he was smiling, but he didn't care. He hadn't felt happiness like this in months and he was going to enjoy it as much as he could.

Sophia leaned her forehead against his. "I love you," Barry whispered against her lips. "I love you so god damn much."

"I love you, too, Barry."

Joe sat at his desk at the CCPD, trying to shuffle through the mess of papers that littered the small work space he had. He knew that he was bad at keeping his table organised, but this was a new level of messy. He sighed, grabbing the cup of coffee on the side of his desk and taking a sip of the warm drink, his nose scrunching in distaste as he remembered the foul taste he had experienced that morning when he had taken a sip of what seemed to be a cold cup of coffee from the previous night.

Joe had told Sophia that he would handle all the legalities in regards to getting her brought back from the dead. He knew that she would need to go before a small court in order to be legally resurrected from the dead, but he hadn't realised how much useless and tedious paperwork would also have to go into it.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He could do this, it wouldn't take long and then he would be back home and enjoying a warm home cooked meal with his family.

Speaking of family, Iris had just walked into the room, heading straight for her father's desk. Ever since Sophia's abrupt departure at the graveyard yesterday morning, Iris had yet to hear back from her or Barry and she was starting to worry. She knew that visiting their graves wasn't going to be easy, but she hadn't expected Sophia to react like that.

"Hey Dad," Iris greeted, placing a kiss on his cheek as she took a seat next to him, watching as he signed a document.

"Hey sweetheart." Joe gave her a smile. "I thought you would be at home by now. Everything okay?" Joe asked, taking a look at Iris. He had been more worried about her in these last few months than in his entire life. He had never seen Iris so broken and battered over the loss of someone, and he felt the guilt seep into his heart every time he watched the solemn look painted on her face, or the tears that occasionally adorned her cheeks.

"I'm fine. It's just, Sophia. Have you heard from her at all today?" Iris asked, getting straight to the point.

"Can't say I have. What's wrong?" Joe asked, turning to her in concern.

"Nothing, I mean… we went to the graveyard yesterday morning, to visit Eddie and Ronnie, and she just snapped, and left," Iris explained to her father, a frown on her face.

Joe let out a heavy sigh as he realised what was going on. He knew that Barry had gone through the same thing when he lost his mother as a child. "Honey, she's probably blaming herself for being the only one to make it out. She should have died in that explosion along with Ronnie, but somehow she made it out, and she's feeling guilty for it."

"But she had no control over that. She didn't have a choice, just like they didn't have a choice," Iris said, trying not to think about how Eddie had been the one to pull the trigger, because he in fact did have a choice. But he had made the sacrifice, he had used his choice selflessly to protect them all.

"I know, baby, but you just need to give her a bit of time. Don't you remember how Barry was after his mother died?"

"Yeah, I do," Iris replied with a solemn expression, flashing back to a time where she would try and comfort Barry, the newest member to the family as he would cry and scream out into the night in anguish, calling out for his mother, calling out for someone to take him as well. "I-I don't know what to do."

"Give her some space, but just reassure her that no one blames her, that it's not her fault for making it out alive when the others didn't," Joe advised, placing his hand on Iris's cheek, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I've got a mountain of paperwork to get through, I'll meet you at home as soon as I can."

"Sure, Dad. I'll see you at home," Iris said, giving him a small smile before walking out of the CCPD with her hands stuck in the pockets of her coat, her mind ticking away, wondering what she could do to make sure that Sophia didn't feel the way she did. She had already lost so much and she didn't plan on losing another friend.

It had been a few days since Barry moved into her apartment, and she felt more like herself again. She felt terrible for rushing out on Iris and she made a mental note to give her a call later, to apologise. But before she did that, she had more important things she needed to sort out. Later today she would be meeting Joe to finalise all the paperwork, meet with her godmother Cecile to get everything fast tracked. It had been a weird week as she officially reappeared in Central City, announcing to all her friends and family that hadn't found out already that she was alive. She had received mixed responses, some of pure happiness and laughter, and others mixed with those emotions and tears as they clung to her, telling her that they had thought she had been lost to them forever. That had mostly been Anna when Superman had brought her to visit upon hearing that she was indeed alive. Her godmother had pulled her into her arms, crying, but also with a bright smile on her face as she announced she was happy that things had somehow worked out in the end.

Sophia had been using the excuse that she had gotten caught up in the events of that day, like how many others had. She had told them that The Flash had saved her, but she had received a head injury, leaving her with a memory impairment, and the only thing she remembered was waking up in her apartment after the three months. The three months was just deemed as her being missing according to the CCPDs reports, and she was glad that with Joe's pull no other questions were asked. Caitlin had faked some medical documents for them and provided it to the CCPD to support their fake story, and Sophia had gotten her job back at Central City Hospital, but she would be taking another week off until she got back into her old routine. She needed a bit of time to gain some perspective on her life before she jumped back into everything.

She was still suffering through the nightmare of what had happened, and mourning those they lost that day. She was also trying to adjust to the fact that their team no longer worked together. Joe was focused on his work at the CCPD, Iris burying herself in a mountain of journalism. Cisco had even joined the CCPD as he worked in tandem with Captain Singh to form some sort of anti-meta human task force. Barry was the most attentive at this point in time, but she could feel him slipping away from her even though they were living together. He would come to bed at late hours, long after she had fallen asleep, and he was constantly at work, even though she knew he didn't spend that much time analysing evidence as a CSI since he had become The Flash. Caitlin was another story in itself, only communicating if it was an emergency, and even then her interactions were cold. Sophia felt lost in this mess, and she didn't know what to do. To her, those events had only happened a mere few weeks ago, but to them it had been months on end. She was worried that if it had been three months and the team still hadn't come back, working in tandem to fight meta-humans and crime with The Flash, that now that she was back, things still wouldn't be the same, especially now that she was…ordinary.

Sophia rolled over in her bed, her eyes glancing to the clock on the side, telling her that it was now nearing nine am, and she had to get up soon. She then looked down at the empty spot on the bed beside her and she closed her eyes, frowning as she did so. She knew that Barry wasn't doing it on purpose, but she could tell that he was pulling away, avoiding not only her, but everyone. She had spoken to Joe the previous night on the phone when Barry hadn't picked up her call, to find out that he had fallen asleep in his lab at the CCPD.

Sophia begrudgingly pushed herself out of bed, moving to her bathroom, and turning on the shower. She needed to tell someone about her current predicament. She was sure that if she kept it hidden any longer, she would explode. She needed to tell at least one person. And that's when it clicked. She would tell Anna. Anna had known her since she was a teenager, and she could trust that she wouldn't tell anyone in Central City about it. She just needed to get into contact with her.

Sophia quickly finished up her shower, throwing a quick outfit together as she brushed her wet hair out, putting it in a quick braid. She walked across her room, grabbing her phone from her side table, taking it off charge, dialling Anna's number.

After the fourth ring, Sophia was going to hang up, but then Anna picked up.

"Morning, sweetheart," Anna greeted cheerfully.

"Morning, Anna. You sound perky," Sophia said with a smile.

"I've had a good morning is all, plus now that you're back I feel much better," Anna replied and Sophia closed her eyes, letting out a sad smile, not that anyone could see that anyway.

"Listen, I have something to tell you, but can you please keep it between us?"

"Of course."

And with that Sophia began her story. She explained in detail how this magician had helped her, how he was able to perform the spell, but in doing so she had to sacrifice her powers. Anna gasped as she listened to the story, feeling terrible that Sophia had to sacrifice so much when she had already lost so much. Sophia made sure to tell Anna that she would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant coming back to her family, but she just wasn't sure how to break the news to the others. She wanted to keep it a secret for a while longer, fearing that if she told them about it, they would treat her like she was fragile porcelain, which she couldn't imagine, since they were already pretty much there right now.

"What do I do? I just don't want to tell them and then they pull me out of the front line," Sophia explained. Powers or no powers, she still wanted to help people.

"I-I think you need to take it easy for a bit, you need to learn that you're no longer as invincible as you were before. This time, when you bleed, it won't take a few hours to heal. You've got different limitations now, more than before," Anna spoke cautiously. She didn't want to upset Sophia, but she knew that the girl had to realise that being human again meant that she wouldn't be able to be at the forefront of the fight. She would only have her fists to protect herself this time round.

"I know I have to be more careful, but it's a part of me that I can't let go," Sophia said in a strained voice. "I-I can't give up being Sapphire."

"I understand, but you need to promise yourself that you'll be careful. That you won't go beyond your capabilities. A-And I think that you need to tell Barry, if not right now, then soon. The longer you keep this from him, the worse both of you will feel once the cats out of the bag," Anna advised.

Sophia sighed, agreeing with Anna. "I will. J-Just not right now."

Months had passed and suddenly Sophia found herself 6 months post-singularity, still keeping secrets from the others.

Things seemed to have progressed from bad to worse over the course of the last three months since she had been back. Friendships were nearly non-existent and relationships were strained. Everyone was still struggling with their own personal mourning. Everyone except for Joe and Cisco it seemed, but she was sure that those two were just good at hiding their emotions.

Even though Barry was living with her now, she never felt more far away from him in their entire relationship. It was like their bodies were there, but they weren't. They hardly spoke, and their interactions were scarce. She missed him dearly, but she knew that until he sorted out whatever emotional internal turmoil he was going through then their relationship wouldn't survive. And the added fact that she was keeping secrets didn't help.

He was constantly working, and she found that once she was alone with her thoughts all she wanted to do was drown her sorrows in a few drinks. She found out after a few nights of that, that it wasn't the best idea. Then she tried to occupy herself with working ridiculous hours at the hospital, and that was only a temporary distraction.

She knew that she really, really shouldn't have, but in the end she succumbed to her desires.

She went out on patrol.

By herself.

Without her powers.

She was dressed in her signature super suit, finding that she was more comfortable fighting in it than anything else. The dark leather was built to withstand scratches and slices from knives, so that was an added plus, as it protected the most important parts of her body. Her fingers formed fists in the leather gloves, relishing in the scrunching sound the tough leather made. She withdrew the cape, leaving her wearing the one piece suit. Her long hair was tied up expertly, the single ponytail it had formed, staying put during most of the night. Her mask framed her eyes perfectly, and it was secure, but as she stood there in front of the mirror at home she couldn't help but let out a nervous sigh as she tapped her feet anxiously in front of her.

This wasn't the first time she had gone out on patrol since her return, but it would be the first time she went out there by herself in the dead of night. Barry was working late at the CCPD and she knew that he wouldn't be home for a while, if he came back at all. He was working a lot of these shifts lately, and she wondered if it was because he was trying to avoid her, or if he just found it easier to distract himself from dark thoughts when he was at work, or rebuilding parts of the city.

She wasn't sure how she had managed to keep it a secret from the others even when patrolling a few times with Barry and Cisco. With her basic knowledge about engineering and physics, she was able to create a lens that she hid underneath the mask, connecting it to her suit. When she pressed a button on the side of her thumb, her eyes glowed their bright blue, the lens mimicking her previous natural ability. This was enough to tide the suspicion over, and somehow things had just worked out in the end, and no one had questioned a thing. But she was sure that sooner rather than later, they would discover that something was up.

With one final look at herself in the mirror, she straightened up her back, taking in a deep breath, nodding at her reflection. She could do this.

She pressed into the comm. in her ear, and the police scanners echoed throughout her ears. She didn't have to worry about anyone else. Tonight she was in control.

Since she didn't have her powers, she had spent the last few months training her stamina back up again. She became faster in her running, and didn't feel as lethargic after running a few miles. Her agility had also improved. Her reflexes were nearly as fast as they had been before and she was happy with her improvements. She had spent quite a bit of time training in the gym at Star Labs into the early hours of the morning.

She was confident in her abilities at hand to hand combat now that she had to primarily rely on that. She had hidden a motorcycle in the garage of an abandoned building a few blocks away from her apartment building. She had bought it second hand, in cash, from a seller down in the darker parts of Central City. She ripped the plates off, not needing anyone to track it back to her. She had jogged the few blocks it took to get there, making sure to take a different route each time, not needing anyone to follow her there. She made sure to change the location of the stash every few days just to be sure, making certain not to use the same one more than twice. Upon entering the empty hiding place, she stuck her keys into ignition, jumping on the seat, securing herself in as she revved the engine.

"Robbery on Fletcher Avenue, suspects armed." The police scanner had delivered quite well tonight. She thought about her game plan before entering the scene, knowing that she would have to be extra careful seeing as though they seemed to have weapons…ones that she wouldn't be able to deflect with her energy shields.

Sophia continued with her mission, headstrong as she pushed down hard on the accelerator, the bike flying in and out of traffic. It gave her the same rush as flying and she was glad at least one thing was the same in her life right now.

She was nearing Fletcher Avenue, and with the police most likely arriving at the front, she made a safe bet in heading for the back of the block, realising it would be easier to intercept the robbers there.

Watching the two tall men leave the crime scene, running out the back door onto the wet concrete, their dark clothes hiding them in the night, she let a smirk erupt on her face at her correct guess. She didn't bother slowing down, the headlights shining brightly in their eyes, enough to make them squint and falter in their steps as she came barrelling toward them. She swiftly turned the bike sideways, doing a backward flip off it and landing on the concrete without breaking a sweat, watching with a pleased smile as it crashed into the two men, leaving them laying on the ground in pain. One got back up and attempted to attack her with a few calculated hits, he was down again. She knew that they might have a few broken bones, but other than that, they were alive.

She left the bike there, deciding it wasn't worth saving. The CCPD would be there in any second to arrest the two thugs on the ground. She turned around, and she would later berate herself for not keeping herself on high alert. Standing behind her and not far away was a tall man in all black. He was wearing a dark hoodie and jeans, and he was ridiculously built. She moved forward to see who it was. She wasn't sure if it was an accomplice or a bystander, but by the time she had taken a step forward, he had disappeared from sight, and she wasn't sure if she had dreamed up the entire thing. She blinked, looking around once more to see that she was alone. She frowned as she heard police sirens and decided it was time to get out of there. A second later, she heard the rumble of thunder in the distance and she looked up just in time to see the rain falling down rhythmically. She shook her head, her lips forming a grimace as her leather clad feet padded across the concrete floor, trying her very best to get home before she was soaked to the bone.

Evidently Sophia hadn't reached home in time because the next day she was cuddled up in bed, alone and with a cold, but she never felt better.

She had called in sick to work at the hospital, knowing that she was in no shape to take care of people when she could barely take care of herself. She had made sure that all her tracks were covered, and Barry would be none the wiser. But, then the stupid cold had to appear. But if she knew that a cold was all it took for Barry to come back down to Earth then she would have made herself sick weeks ago.

He was in the kitchen, making her some lemon and honey tea, making sure to instruct her to stay in bed. He had come home a few hours after she had only to find her laying on the bed and shivering, muttering in her fever riddled sleep.

Barry felt guilty when he found her there, sick and all alone. He knew that their relationship had been strained and struggling, but he still loved her more than anything, regardless of what they were all going through. Seeing her looking so pale and sick made him realise how much he had been neglecting her, but he couldn't help it. Deep inside he had dark thoughts, believing that if he just removed himself from the equation, that those around him would be safe. That's why his current social life was so poor, and though it hurt him, he felt that his actions would protect his friends and family. But he hadn't been able to push Sophia away, at least not as much as he had with Cisco and Caitlin. He had already lost her once and he wasn't planning to lose her again, he just needed some space to sort himself out before he jumped back into things, something he only realised after he had moved in with her. It was a big step and he was starting to wonder if he was sure about it all. But then when he was overcome with the urge to take care of her, to nurse her back to health, he knew in an instant that his doubts were just that. Doubts. Never anything real. He would always be there for her, and he shouldn't have thought otherwise. So he had decided that morning that he would call in sick for the first time in what seemed like forever. Captain Singh didn't seem to have an issue with it, but Barry would still be on call if they had an emergency.

He had started by getting Sophia some pain killers, and getting her into a more comfortable position on the bed, wrapping her up in warm blankets, and making sure that she got plenty of fluids in. He had coddled her, and usually she would hate that, but when he did it all she could do was comply. He had even tried to make her chicken soup earlier. Bless your soul she thought. She knew that Barry was a terrible cook, but he had tried. He had actually called Arthur to ask what Sophia's favourite soup was when she was sick, and her father had instructed Barry on how to make it. Barry found it surprisingly easy and even though the first batch had turned out horrible, with his speed he was able to make a new one in no time, and he had to admit that it was pretty damn good. Sophia seemed to enjoy it as well which had made him even happier.

They sat in bed together all day, cuddled up nice and tight, in their pyjamas, watching old re-runs of the x-files, laughing more than they had in a long time, and it felt…good. It felt normal. And so when Barry had asked her how she had gotten the cold, and she told him that she was out in the rain, everything just seemed to come out.

"I-I have something to tell you," Sophia said, biting down on her lip. She was still hesitant about it, but she needed to tell him.

"You're not pregnant are you?"

"No." She frowned.

"Oh."

"Are you disappointed?" Sophia asked, nearly laughing.

"What?" He defended with a pout. "Kids are cute." Not to mention he had been thinking about their future for quite some time.

"Don't you think you should propose first before we have kids?" Sophia asked with a raised brow and Barry flushed. He clearly hadn't been thinking when the words originally came out of his mouth.

"Eh, let's just forget I said anything in the first place," Barry said with pursed lips. He had just dug himself in deeper. He knew that neither of them were ready for that level of commitment just yet, even though they loved each other, they were still struggling with their other life, and all the drama that it brought with it.

"Well, to clear things up, no I am not pregnant, and that wasn't even close to what I was going to say," Sophia said with a small shake of her head.

"Well, go on then, love," Barry said, leaning down and placing a kiss on her cheek. She did feel a bit lighter after his comment and decided to just get it over with. Rip off the damn band-aid Sophia, just say it.

"So you know when I came back from that other Earth?" Her voice was timid as she spoke.

"Yeah," Barry hummed, waiting for her to continue.

"Well, there was a price that I had to pay to get back here." Barry froze, his fingers stopping from where they had previously been playing with her hair as he thought about the implication of her words.

"What do you mean, price?" Barry frowned, worry building up in his chest.

"It means that I had to make a decision, a-and I chose you." She tried to brave a smile, but it slowly collapsed and she could feel the tears coming on. She was an idiot for not telling him sooner. She was more worried about him not forgiving her for keeping it a secret than not having her powers at the moment. "I had to give up my powers," Sophia whispered so faintly he almost didn't hear it.

"What?" Barry asked in confusion. "But you-"

"I lied, all this time, I kept it a secret," She spat out the words, angry at herself. She looked down at her hands that were sitting in her lap, feeling ashamed to meet his gaze. "I was afraid, and I hadn't come to terms with it myself so I kept it a secret, a-and I shouldn't have, but I did and I'm sorry, Barry, I'm so sorry," Sophia choked out. She wasn't sure when she had started crying, but she could feel Barry's fingers wiping away the tears on her cheeks.

"My beautiful, Sophia," Barry breathed out, leaning his forehead against hers. "Always so selfless, always sacrificing her own happiness for others," Barry didn't care that she was sick, he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "I forgive you."

Those were the words that she needed to hear, and suddenly it all came rushing out. Barry held her in his arms as she cried, finally mourning properly for the loss of her powers, for the loss of the biggest part of herself, and he let her. He didn't bother thinking about reprimanding her for keeping it a secret for so long, or for going out on patrol by herself, putting her in greater danger without her abilities. He knew how it felt to lose his powers, to lose a part of himself, and he was astounded that she was so strong to keep herself together for so long.

"You're stronger than anyone I know. I can't even begin to imagine what it took to make that decision," Barry breathed out in admiration. If it was possible, he found himself loving her even more than before.

"I'm really not, if I was I would be able to handle this better," Sophia laughed bitterly. "But in saying that, if I had to do it again, if I was given the choice, I wouldn't hesitate in choosing you. Living without powers sucks, big time. But I think living without you, without everyone here, it would suck more," Sophia admitted, this time letting out another laugh, this time it was real. "I really have a way with words don't I?"

"Oh, yeah, for sure," Barry leaned down, capturing her lips in a short kiss. "We'll find a way, one day, we'll find a way to get it back," Barry promised. He wasn't sure if it would be possible, but he would do everything he could to help her, just like she did for him.

"I was so worried that you would hate me for keeping it a secret," Sophia whispered, her warm breath brushing against his neck.

"I could never hate you. You're the love of my life," Barry let out a light laugh, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he held her close to his chest.

They lay there pretty much the rest of the day, enjoying each other's company, and for the first time in months, both of them finally felt at ease, finding a moment of peace within each other.

A / N – So they've finally moved to the six month stage post-singularity.

Next chapter will be the start of season 2, how exciting!

Thanks again for the overwhelming amount of follows/faves/reviews. You guys are amazing. I would have published this sooner, but I have barely written anything for this story in a few weeks because I've been very ill, and the meds aren't really helping much, so this had to wait a while.

Replies:
Immortalman18: Thank you for the review! Guess you'll have to wait and see… but I promise, it's not gone for long.

Purplemonkey36: Woo! Back and better than ever (not really because it's all angsty, but you get my point). Thanks for the review!

Turtlekier42: Yeah! She's back, woo! Awww, yeah it was heart wrenching wasn't it… I don't think this chapter was any better on her either. At least the truth is out.

Random2Friends: THAT IS THE REAL QUESTION. And you will all have to wait and see how it plays out (evil laughter). I love torturing my characters, I am sorry. Thank you for the review!

RHatch89: It's not gone forever, so don't worry. You'll just have to wait and see how it plays out. Thanks for the review!

Thebeezekneeze: right back at ya! Thanks for the review.

Vanessa Rowes: Thanks for the advice. Each chapter coming to you guys will range from around 8-12k because I'm only updating once a fortnight rather than weekly.

-Queen: Aw, thanks hun! Well, longer chapters are here, so be excited! Also loving the new UN.

Panda-Chan8: CISCO IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL. Thank you so much for your review again, loved it!

Guest: Thank you so much for your kind words! Well, there you go, you have Barry's reaction, the others will come later. Guess we'll see what happens next time! Thank you so much, it's always motivating to see reviews!

Ram-Z Malfoy: Thank you heaps! Glad you like long chapters, cos that's what you'll be getting!

The-mad-girl-with-a-book: Thanks for the review, and your suggestion! It'll definitely change up every now and then.

AmyRoxx213: Thanks love! Yeah, it had me sad too, but trust me, it's not for long… that long anyway.

Natalie: Thanks for the review, here is your update!

Jason Hunter: Aha! We'll have to wait and see. I haven't figured out if I want E2 Sophia to be a vigilante or a villain… leaning more towards the vigilante side, so a hero, but a dark hero… how does that sound? Yeah, no way she's falling in love with Zoom. I will protect her from that monster at all costs.

Thank you again for all the lovely reviews. You guys are the best.

Til next time.

Heroherondale. X