A/N: Please don't hate me... XD and please read through to the last of the chapter before you decide to flame me or not. I know that a lot of you who are reading were expecting this to go one way or the other, but I'm not one to write and tell.

Anyways, reviews are highly appreciated. I want to thank everyone for the amount of responce I've gotten on this little ongoing project so far, and sorry it took so long, but school has been a real set back.

Time Withers Him At Root

by: Panda Ru

Chapter Three: Life Is But A Dream

Riku knocked on the door of the Hoshiko's home, Sora's home. He had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach as he waited for someone to answer the door. The conversation with Kairi had not been an easy one for them to handle, ending with Riku coming to terms with his own feelings, and Kairi admitting that she always expected it to end that way.

After all, Sora had turned her down because of Riku, and she in turn went running to him for that very reason. She didn't realize at the time what the consequences would be, but was hoping making Sora jealous would eventually cause him to fall for her, and when that didn't happen he instead fell apart.

Kairi smiled sincerely through the pain, saying that Sora deserved to be happy and that she wished them the best. She dried her eyes and kissed him on the cheek. "Go get him tiger." He smiled down at her, obviously shocked by this encouraging consent. Sora could be his, and finally they could be together.

000

Sora watched fascinated with the blood slowly dripping to the pristine white porcelain sink. Never before would he have thought that the only escape from pain would be a different source of it. The cuts had started out as innocent as thin paper cuts, but quickly grew into the gruesome gashes that now lacerated each wrist.

The time he had spent alone crying, had quickly escalated to this, and within an hour of ever tainting his wrist with a blade, lethal punctures dripping large amounts of crimson as the world began to spin and skin paled. Sora held onto the edge of the sink knowing consciousness was quickly slipping.

He could hear voices carry down the hall, the creaking of the steps, someone was approaching. Guilt quickly filled his heart, not from the cuts, or the self-inflicted wounds, but that someone would have to witness his dying breaths. He slipped slowly down the wall, his vision had all but faded to black spots, thankful that the pain wouldn't last much longer. It was too much to bear.

The words whispered into his ear as his wishful lover cradled him were sad words pleading for knowledge that would never be known.

"Why Sora, why?" That was the mournful tantrum that faded into a dark oblivion. He closed his eyes to the warm welcoming darkness. Emptiness. If he had to describe this feeling, this place, empty would be the only thing to fit. It wasn't cold nor hot, humid nor dry, but the overwhelming sense of being in a void was the only feeling. He didn't feel sad or happy or anything really. Apparently even he was empty now.

He saw an approaching light, as if it was on the other side of a tunnel, one which he refused to enter. It seemed as if eternity happened within a few minutes as the light seemed to give up on him relenting to come. It seemed to disperse into thousands of tiny stars, surrounding him as colors came through the inky world.

Sora felt a strong sudden tug as if the laws of physics had just suddenly applied to him. Finally feeling compelled to open his eyes to the disarray of sounds, he gasped as tears finally fell.

000

Riku laid on the bed, his shirt soaked in patches of blood as he had vainly tried to keep the deep gashes from bleeding away Sora's life. He was now curled up next to the limp body as he sobbed. It just couldn't be true. This was Sora. "The world's happiest teen," Sora. How could so much darkness have tainted such an innocent soul for it to come to this.

Riku softly whispered sweet apologies as they fell on death's ears. Pleading for the gods themselves to just bring back the young hero. All that came to Riku's mind was guilt, and it weighed heavy on his heart.

'Maybe if I hadn't betrayed him...'

'Maybe if I had helped him save the worlds sooner...'

'Maybe if I hadn't been afraid to tell him how much I truly care...'

Riku knew Sora's mom was downstairs waiting for the ambulance. They had called in the emergency as soon as Riku had caught a glance of Sora on his bathroom floor, laying in a puddle of blood. Mrs. Hoshiko had left the room crying as soon as possible after Sora released his last breath. It wasn't supposed to happen, not to the hero.

The last words whispered from Riku's lips just before the door flew open to let in the emergency team were the words he regretted not saying until it was too late.

"I love you, Sora."

000

Sora stared in horror at the picture. Never would he thought death would be this painful. There Riku was curled up next to his own body. Sora wanted to comfort Riku, tell him that it wasn't his fault at all, that if he had been the one strong enough maybe things would have turned out differently, but instead, all he was now was a vacant shell. Would this be his eternal form, doomed forever to be a silent witness to those who walked their paths in life?

Sora gave an apologetic smile to his best friend, a memory that would forever burn in his undying soul. The thing that cut the most was the words Sora had longed for so long to hear, being whispered into his own rigid body. It tore through his soul as he fell to his knees, not knowing how it was possible, but realizing that he was crying harder than he ever had alive.

This was his punishment for suicide. This would be his eternal hell.

000

Being helpless to the night as the covers twisted around him as he struggled for freedom from their grasp. Sweat accumulated on a furrowed brow, as tears fought their way through tightly shut lashes.

Why did it all have to hurt like this?

000

The room was heavy with sorrow. All of Sora's friends had gathered at the Hoshiko residence in memory of their friend. It had been a hard acceptance for the group, knowing that their once most optimistic friend had punished himself for burdens he shouldn't have had to carry alone in the first place.

Kairi wept on Riku's shoulder, knowing that her best friend would never be the same. Riku sat almost emotionless if it hadn't been for the tear stains running down his cheeks. His face had become a blank mask since the time he had seen the paramedics pull a sheet over the face of the one he would forever cherish.

Wakka leaned against a doorjamb, trying his best to come to terms with fate as Selphie leaned into Tidus for the emotional support and comfort she so desperately sought. This was how the small group of friends had faired since most of the crowed and acquaintances from school and the local area had come to pay their last respects had left.

Mrs. Hoshiko was left in an empty house, with a room full of teens she had always considered to be her own surrogate children in a way, considering the six of them had almost always been glued together in their childhood games. Now all that she had was a shattered dream of a family.

She held a picture of her angel in her lap as she stared into the nearly grey eyes of her other angel hanging in a picture frame on the wall. She felt that as fate dealt her a loosing hand, and all she was left with was dreary existence. What was life without love? She had slowly watched as her son slowly fell to pieces day by day, but it was a cruel termination of his shattered soul.

He would never know what it was like to experience the pinnacle of life, being in love. He would never know what it was like to experience the warm embrace of true affection, as darkness had smothered his light all too soon.

000

All the while, Sora had tried and tried to get someone, anyone to see him, to hear him, and had finally given up. He sat through his own memorial service, watching from the side as chose he loved cried tears of grief for the sunshine that had been taken by the rain.

He had stayed in his own house, just staying close as possible to his mother on the first night of his death, watching as she cried herself to sleep. He choked down sobs himself as he laid next to her on the bed, knowing that his hands passed through her as he made motion to wipe away the tears. It was one of the worst experiences he'd ever been through, and wondered just how many more cruel dealings he'd have to face in timeless years to come.

000

It was as if colors in the world were slowly melting together, all was a shade grey that didn't make any sense.

000

Sora spent the next day sitting in his own living room that held his main group of friends. They had come over and shared countless stories about him, little pointless "remember whens" that set them into fits of tearful laughter. Sora noticed how Riku would smile regretfully at each of the memorable stories, but never added his own accounts.

It brought a heavy feeling of guilt knowing that he had caused the people closest to him all this pain. He had ended up following Riku home wanting just to be with the person most cherished, even if he couldn't be there for him. It was long into the night as Sora silently watched Riku just stare at his ceiling.

It wasn't until the mid hours of the night, did Riku even flinch away from his unchanged position. He sat up and stared out his open window as Sora sat there, an unknow spectator in this horror.

As if Sora would somehow be able to answer, Riku needed to express what layed so heavy on his heart. "I need you so much Sora. You were the light of my life... my everything. Why Sora? Why did you do it?" Sora had never once heard the voice he loved so much sound so broken. Not even at his worst during their trials through countless worlds did Riku's sounded so wounded to the core.

As Riku would be able to know he was there, Sora took hold of the hand that hung weakly at the other's side. "I'm so sorry Riku... I'm so sorry.

"I love you Riku." Sora leaned up to touch his lips to the other's cheek, and as he pulled away, Riku, touched his cheek as if he had felt a spark of warmth touch him through the cool breeze.

He smiled sadly at the stars one last time whispering, "Good night Sora, I love you," before finally letting sleep take him away from the pain of the real world for just a few fleeting hours. And in that moment Sora watched Riku drift off to an uneasy sleep, he wished he too could escape reality though a pointless dream that he'd never see again.

000

Time itself was spinning out of control, as time as no effect on the perpetual soul.

000

Sora stood off to the side, watching as each mourner dropped a single white rose onto the casket that held his body. The ceremony seemed so meaningless to him. He stood off as if emotions no longer held any account to him. There were no more tears to be shed, and sorry couldn't come easy enough.

He just felt empty. It was as if this lacking existence couldn't even touch him anymore. He looked into Riku's empty eyes, glossy with stubborn tears the held to the strength of trying not to fall, and felt as if his soul mirrored those once vibrant aqua eyes.

He turned and walked away. There was no need for him to attend the funeral if he felt it was like going to a stranger's. The cliffs of the shoreline seemed a much comforting solitude as the spray and wind could no longer be felt, now only heard.

Sora didn't know how long he sat there, but he was determined to find a way to make everything ok again, one way or another.

It wasn't until he heard a voice weakly speak, did he realize he had company at the cliff's edge.

000

"This wasn't the way it was supposed to end Sora." Riku spoke softly to only the wind. These cliffs reminded him so much of the blue eyed brunet. Trying to stand strong against the turbulence that threatened their position. Sora had been a such strong rock to lean on at one time, but now it he was just another beaten by the elements.

Sora was screaming, pleading, crying by the time he heard Riku's last words.

"Sora… if there's anyway I can ever make it right to you, I hope this is it." Sora's eyes widened in fear as he realized Riku's intentions. Riku stood firmly at the edge of the cliff, looking out as if scouting the distant horizon for any other possibility. He set his arms out eagle spread, and dove off into the violent waves and distant rocks below.

Sora dove off the edge right after Riku, but couldn't reach out to grab him intime. At least this time they would go together.

000

Sora closed his eyes as the feeling of falling had never been scarier in his life. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could register that he was screaming, that somehow none of this felt real.

Nothing had made any sense. The pieces didn't match and the picture was blurry. Time seemed to take forever in those few seconds of falling. There was nothing worse than the helplessness against the tug of gravity.

000

The shock from the jolt of impact had Sora disoriented and confused. He gasped for breathe, as he fought the ache in his throat from the sudden scream.

He looked up and saw the most touching sight he could have asked for. Riku was standing there with his hand held out to help Sora up.

Riku was smiling down to him, offering a hand he so openly accepted before the other teen pulled him closer for a much needed hug. "Sora, are you ok?"

Sora nodded, but still seemed disoriented as he seemed to search the room. He tightened his grip on the other, not sure what was real and what wasn't at this moment. He leaned into the hug, letting himself relax against the steady rhythm of the other's heart.

'Wait… what?'

"Where are we?" Sora suddenly looked frightened turning his head to search around the room. His room obviously.

"Sora? You're home. It's going to be ok." Riku pulled back enough to gaze into Sora's eyes to reassure him. Obviously the change in environment might have come as a shock to the amnesiac.

Sora turned around in a circle once again to observe the room. Well, obliviously it was his. He groaned in pain for a minute clutching head for minute.

"Sora, are you sure you're ok? That fall looked pretty painful." Riku looked carefully into Sora's eyes. He knew it was pretty much a pointless guess on his part, not knowing how to really observe the eyes for a reaction or not.

Sora stared at him for just a moment, wondering why that would have anything to do with right now. "Um… Riku, I think I'm going to be ok." The catch in his voice made the statement seem unsure and unsteady.

Riku seemed a tad unsure about letting Sora off the hook just yet. "I just want to make sure that you didn't hit your head again and get any worse."

Just as if seeing an innocent habit of Sora's he tilted his head to the side and pouted when he was confused. "Again?"

Riku raised an eyebrow with a slightly nervous smile on his face. "I think its safe to say that you didn't hit your head too hard when you fell off the bed."

"When I fell….right," he smoothly parroted Riku. Sora blushed as he looked down and noticed he was only wrapped in a sheet, and his boxers, obviously having rolled off his mattress in his uneasy sleep and hitting the floor. He wanted to bang his head against the wall for all the common sense he was worth.

Sora looked at the mess scattered, noticing one picture in particular and hoping Riku hadn't already seen it. He bashfully ushered the silver haired teen out of his room using the excuse that he needed to get dressed. He had just realized that no one else knew that his memories had fully returned, but somehow, he wasn't sad about anything like how he thought the would have been.

He had accepted Riku's relationship with Kairi before the accident, know they could just go back to being best friends. Only thought he entertained was how much he could shock them with his memories. Devilish indeed, but Sora smiled as he couldn't think of a reason to pass up the opportunity.

Don't kill me... I really liked the concept for the chapter. So how many of you figured it out from the few scattered vague hints I left as to what it was leading up to?

Sorry this chapter isn't as long. I just couldn't bring myself to try to find another good stopping point without bringing up any of the spoilers for the next chapter (which may be the end) I haven't decided if I'll write one or two more chapters just yet, but if I get a good enough responce to those who want more, then I'll definitely have to satisfy the demands of the majority, right?

Well, I hope no one thought I had died, or given up on this little work in progress, but I just want to elaborate that the story is STRICTLY shonen-ai. I have nothing against yaoi, I've just never written one, and I really don't want to ruin my first shared work by writing something I have no experience in. Sorry.

Thank you once again,

Ru