Meanwhile in the Royal Castl eof Nottingham, the beautiful and captivating Princess Zelda has some problems of her own.
Princess Zelda: Oh, Link…how I long to see you…my hero in green…where art thou?
Fat Guy Wearing Red: I may not be green, but I'm more than willing to quench your thirst for idolism and romance!
Princess Zelda: What the…who are you and how did you get past security?
Fat Guy Wearing Red: Never mind the small details, my fair lady, allow me into your life, and together we will rule Nottingham with an iron fist!
The Princess's Pitiful Plight
Princess Zelda leers at the overweight intruder with a disproving glare.
"I demand to know who you are. Speak now!" Princess Zelda says.
"Very well. I am Sir Super Mario, Duke of Italy, but you can just call me Super Mario," the fat man says with delight. "I came to propose to you…to be my bride!"
Princess Zelda raises her eyebrow in a disapproving way.
"What makes you think I would want to spend the rest of my life with you, you ugly, rump-faced fool?" Princess Zelda questions, crossing her arms
Super Mario twiddles his thick mustache and chuckles.
"Well, you see, my lady, I want to help you and your family out by enforcing laws that would bring unruly brigands and thieves to justice. You know, like that infamous Link and his band of fools," Super Mario explains.
"You're out of your mind. This country's well-being is of no concern to you. Besides, Link and his friends help out Nottingham more than you will ever realize!" Princess Zelda shoots back.
"I see. So you are turning down my wondrous offer then?" Super Mario questions.
"Yes, now get out before I kick you out!" Princess Zelda says, getting more annoyed by his mere presence.
"Oh come now, what can a petite, harmless girl like you hope to do to try to remove me from your room?" Super Mario asks with a grin.
Without any warning, Princess Zelda's magic began to work on its own will, transforming herself into Sheik.
"Momma-mia! What sort of-" Mario starts to say, but was cut off when Sheik ran toward him and delivered several dozen blows to his fat gut, ending with a roundhouse kick, sending him flying out the door and crashing into a wall in the hallway.
Super Mario slowly gets up and wobbled dizzily toward her. When he regains his composure, he looks at Sheik with a dumbfounded expression.
"Wow…you're even hotter in this form!" Super Mario comments.
Sheik grabs Super Mario's collar and yanks him toward her, leering at him with a cold glare.
"If you ever want to dominate Nottingham with me, then you better clean up your act! Now come let us plan out a strategy to kill Link and his Merry Men!" she says, dragging him down the hallway.
Super Mario was completely oblivious to what was happening at the moment.
"I don't know what's going on, but I like this version of her even better!" Super Mario comments to no one in particular.
It seems Princess Zelda has a bit of a personality disorder. Dos she really intend to destroy Link and his pals and rule over Nottingham with some fat Italian twit? As the story begins to unfold, let us move on to the next part of the tale.
Continue on to the next chapter!