Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, but if I did, well there would be nobody to torture would there?
Sorry, but evil pygmy mummies are too good for Roto, and I've uh… never seen those. TT Sorry Tai-dye, but he will be killed.
Amanda: Well let's see, more reviews! Let's see… oh to the reviewers, old and new, (HUG), okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system, ON WITH THE FIC!
Julia: Chill.
Amanda: ;;;
Amanda: And welcome back to TOURNAMENT OF TOURTURE!
Random Spectators 1-57: YAY!
Julia: --zZz
Amanda: … Julia.
Julia: --zZz
Amanda: Julia.
Julia: --zZz
Amanda: JULIA!
Julia:
00 ? WTF?
Amanda: Now your lines?
Julia: Huh? Er right lines… uh…
Amanda: Oh forget it! Er, yeah, uh… DON"T HURT ME!
Julia: Amanda?
Amanda: Well I'm just saying, I want to prevent angry people before they uh…
Julia: Get angry?
Amanda: YEAH!
Julia: Anyway, yeah, don't kill her… that's my job.
Amanda: Aw Julia I lo… wait wha-?
Julia: Moving on! Seems we have new requests!
Amanda: (hugging reviwers)
Julia: Er… anyway, our next contestant, by popular demand (2 people ) KARASU!
Amanda: Eh? Wait NOOO!
Julia: Too late!
Amanda: Damn.
Karasu: (Is dragged into ring) What the hell am I doing here?
Amanda: K-k-k-KARASU! (runs up and jumps on him)
Karasu: I'll kill you.
Julia: Again, I am the ONLY one who gets to kill her.
Karasu: Er sorry. Why does she like me anyway? I'm a total bastard.
Amanda: But you look so cool!
Karasu: Uh… sure.
Julia: You're a good character in the game.
Karasu: Ah.
Amanda: (sigh) (goes back to chair) Oh well, the show… er fic must go on. BRING IN THE CHEESE WHEEL!
Random Spectators 1-57: WHOO CHEESE WHEEL.. wait.. cheese wheel?
Karasu: Cheese… wheel?
(Giant cheese wheel is lowered into ring)
Amanda: (drool) cheese…
Julia: It's mutant cheese.
Amanda: Damn.
Cheese: (arms pop out with plastic sporks) ((Thank you evilishmidget-chan!))
Karasu: 00;;; I'm screwed.
Julia: Yep!
Amanda: Commence death!
George: Hey, he didn't pick a door…
Amanda: George, piss off. (pushes button)
Cheese: (starts to spin toward Karasu)
Karasu: It's just che- (is rolled over by cheese) (That means the sporks got him)
Amanda: It's MUTANT cheese!
Julia: Good! (gives Amanda a cookie)
Amanda: (munch)
Karasu: HELP! (rolled over) SOMEBODY! (again) PLEASE (and again)
Cheese: This is soooooo boring.
Karasu: Forget this! If I'm gonna die, it's going down with me! (pulls off mask and jumps at cheese)
Cheese: What the- (Is half eaten by Karasu)
Karasu: Ha! Mutant my… (sways) What? (turns green) Oh no. NOOOO- (sporks poke through his stomach) (is dead)
Random Spectators 1-57: HURRAY! Go sporks, go cheese!
Amanda: (sniff)
Julia: Amanda…
Amanda: (Sniff) ACHOO!
Julia: (covered in boogers) EEEEWWW!
Amanda: I feel better now!
Julia: I'LL F KILL YOU!
Amanda: GEORGE HELP!
George: Hmm… what was it you said? Oh yeah, piss off. (reading book)
Amanda: TT
Julia: ROLL COMMERCIAL!
(Commercial)
(store with almost empty shelves with axes)
Younger Toguro: What am I doing here? Again? I should be dead.
Bui: What am I doing here? These axes are all dull, all seven of them.
Seriyyu: What am I doing here? Ah, world domination. Yes… no… I work here.
Announcer: Go to (insert website thing here) where you can get all your weapons instantly, with a wide variety to choose.
(End commercial)
(Next Commercial)
Eikichi: Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. ME-ow.
Announcer: Buy Meow mix today!
(End commercial)
(Next commercial)
Botan: Hey I'm in a commercial!
Koenma: Why?
Botan: … I don't know!
Koenma: Well neither do I.
George: (walks out with Arby's symbol over his head) I'm hungry.
Koenma: Oh, maybe we're supposed to say something about the hat?
Botan: Ah, what is it? He must be thinking Arby's!
Announcer: Eat here, uh, we have sandwiches!
(End commercials)
Amanda: Huzzah! The in between zone! (twilight zone music)
Julia: Why is there twilight zone music in here?
Amanda: Well I don't know! Someone must have switched it for my Atreyu CD!
(Twilight zone episode)
Guy: You are about to enter… (Atreyu's lip gloss and black comes on) What the hell is that?
(Back)
Amanda: Oh well. Hey let's see if we can get them to switch it for a mission impossible CD!
Julia: Ha ha. No.
Amanda: Oh you're no fun.
Julia: Good!
Puu: (in really high pitched voice) This fic is co-authored by Shy McFly.
Julia: 00
Amanda: (huggles Puu)
Puu: (Is turning bluer than he was)
Amanda: That was so cute!
Really fast announcer guy: This fic brought to you in part by speed racer oho. Also, how could you. I thought we had a bond. You'd better pay me extra if you expect me not to be Emo about not getting a hug.
Amanda: Alright geez, chill dude. (hug) There.
Really fast announcer guy: Thanks.
Amanda: And we're back!
Julia: Again, WE never left.
Amanda: SHUT UP!
Julia: No. (: p)
George: Julia, shouldn't you get off her now, eventually she has to breathe.
Amanda: Gee thanks, cause I really need help AFTER she beat the crap out of me.
George: You're welcome.
(To violent for television… or… computer screens whatever)
George: (has several large lumps on his head and a frying pan sticking out of his neck)
Amanda: I feel SOOOOOOO much better now.
Julia: Geez Manda, did you have to kill him?
Amanda: Huh? Oh, he's not dead don't worry! He'll just be in an immense amount of pain for… the rest of his life!
Julia: ;;; Greaaat.
Amanda: Okay and out next contestant, specially resurrected (like most of out contestants) for this tournament, ROTO!
Random Spectators 1-57: BOOOOOOOOO!
Amanda: Now here's someone I can ENJOY killing!
Julia: --;;; You are so messed up.
Amanda: I know!
(A large crate is dropped into the ring and Roto pops out)
Amanda: Welcome scuzzball!
Roto: Where is my button?
Amanda: Really dude, where, nobody wants to see your ugly purple chest!
Roto: Nobody wants to see your ugly ningen face!
Amanda: 0T what?
Julia: This could be bad.
Roto: You heard me, Ugly Ningen Face.
Amanda: (gets a Cheshire cat grin) Well if you don't like my face I'll just have to remove your eyes!
Roto: Eh?
Julia: Amanda, it's okay, we'll kill him I swear, just don't do anything… stupid.
Amanda: (creepy head turn) What ever do you mean?
Julia 00;;;
Amanda: Roto, since I feel bad for George, pick a door. Death? You pick the death door? George, tell him what he's won!
Roto: I didn't say…
George: (still beat up) Ugh uh rah ugh.
Amanda: Very well, DEATH BY AMANDA!
Roto: What? You can't hurt me.
Random Spectators 1-57: We beg to differ.
Julia: (nods)
Amanda: DIIIIIIEEEEEE! (jumps onto Roto and starts scratching)
Roto: OW! Damnit you –Ow!- ningens and your –OW!- sharp nails. OW!
Amanda: This isn't working. (Jumps on Roto like a trampoline) Common, die!
Roto: OW! Knock it off! Let me up so I can che… uh defend myself!
Amanda: NO! (Has pulled out scissors) Time for a haircut!
Roto: What?
Amanda: (Cuts off Roto's ugly purple hair) And your nails are too long!
Roto: No, not my nails NOOOOO!
Amanda: Too late. I've already cut them off.
Roto: What? (looks) (it's true) NOOOO!
Amanda: Christ, you can't take a little thing like that? Psh, you're wimpier than a ningen PRESCHOOLER!
Babies: Goo! Gah gah gooo! (translation: HEY, We're stronger too!)
Amanda: Sorry! Wimpier than a ningen… (thinks) PHETUS!
Random Spectators 1-57: Ew.
Babies: Goo.
Amanda: Back to you, A-HA! I've got it!
Roto: What are you going to do?
Amanda: SUPER AMANDA STAPLE ATTACK! (pulls out staple gun)
Roto: S. (Is killed by round of staples to the brain)
Amanda: Ah. Now that was fun. (tosses staple gun over shoulder)
Random Spectators 1-57: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! GO MANDA! GO MANDA!
Julia: IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, IT"S YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Amanda: (bows) Thank you thank you.
Julia: Hey, where'd you get the staple gun?
Amanda: I don't know.
Julia: Alright, commercial break!
Amanda: Hurray! \
(commercial)
Announcer Lady: Do you love chapstick?
Napolean Dynamite: What's it to you? God.
Announcer Lady: Do you get headaches?
Napolean: Sometimes.
Announcer Lady: Well then you need this! (holds up pasty chapstick) It's chapstick, for your FOREHEAD!
Napolean: Sweet! Can I use it on my lips?
Announcer Lady: Uh, no.
Napolean: But my lips hurt real bad!
Announcer Lady: Yeah… Side effects may include; Sticky forehead, pasty forehead, acne, and upon consumption, rapid hair growth, nausea, muscle spasms , and Heart failure. Ask a doctor before use if you are really old, have heart problems, or nobody likes you.
(End commercial)
(Next commercial)
Sensui: I have separate personalities!
Therapist: I see (scribbles on notepad)
Sensui: I saw demons being tortured!
Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
Sensui: Bad. And I'm obsessed with this videotape! (holds up chapter black)
Therapist: Is it porn?
Sensui: No.
Therapist: Well then I have some bad news.
Sensui: What?
Therapist; There is no cure. All you can do is kill yourself. But look on the bright side, I did save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!
Sensui: You know we hate you right?
Announcer: Geico 15 minutes could save you 15 or more on car insurance.
(End commercial)
(Next commercial)
(End commercial)
Amanda: I love being able to participate.
Julia: Yeah that's great.
Amanda: Should I get the staple gun?
Julia: (shudder) Something is wrong with you.
Amanda: EVRYTHING is wrong with me!
Julia: Whatever, If you want to request a character and or death style do so by clicking the little button down there somewhere. V
Amanda: Oh, and again, I'm REALLY SORRY! My next goal is to watch those movies. (determined look)
Julia: Hey Amanda, what is you goal?
Amanda: uh… um… crap. I don't know but it was real important.
Julia: --;;;
Amanda: I kid, I kid, and I'll have to see them.
Amanda: And we're…!
Julia: STILL HERE DAMMIT!
Amanda: I know.
Julia: --;;;
Amanda: Anyway our next contestant is…
Itsuki: Hi guys!
Amanda: Hey Itsuki, I was just about to…
Youko Kurama: Oh my god! Itsuki those are MY clothes!
Julia: Guys we really have to…
Itsuki: (high girly voice)Are you saying I need to steal your bad fashion sense?
Amanda: Guys we… oh Itsuki that was bad.
Youko Kurama: (High girly voice)What did you say bitch?
Itsuki: I said those clothes are UGLY! But not as ugly as your HAIR!
Amanda: I sense danger.
Youko Kurama: Oh my god, I'm going to have a B.F.
Julia: Danger danger, the consequences will be dire!
Itsuki: A B.F.?
Amanda: A BITCH FIT!
DUCK AND COVER!
Random spectators 1-57: (Duck and cover)
Youko Kurama: (pulls Itsuki into the ring by his hair)
Itsuki: Don't pull my hair bitch! Your momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND THE HOUSE!
Youko Kurama: I know you didn't say that, cause Your momma's so ugly she could stick her head up a camel's butt and scare the hump right off it's back!
Itsuki: You didn't say that bout my momma.
Youko Kurama: What if I did?
Amanda: Danger Will Robinson!
Julia: (shudder) This could get messy. (throws on a poncho.
Itsuki: Then I did this! (pulls out scissors and cuts of a lock of Y.K.'s hair)
Youko Kurama: That's it bitch, It's GO TIME! (scratches Itsuki)
Itsuki: (scratches back) (breaks nail) Oh my god I BROKE A NAIL!
Amanda: (also has on a poncho) Ow, that's gotta hurt.
Youko Kurama: RAWR! (pounces on Itsuki)
(anime dust cloud)
Random Spectators: OW, ow, oh, OW, (whistle), oh, OH, ooooh, ahhh….
(Dust cloud disappears)
Youko Kurama: (standing alone in the ring unharmed)
Julia: Where's Itsuki?
Amanda: (points to puddle of blood and clothes) There.
Youko Kurama: (normal voice) Oh I'm sorry, You were going to announce the next contestant…?
Amanda: I was… But for get it, That was AWESOME!
Julia: --;;; (thinks) Oh Youko… (holds up forehead chapstick) If you eat it your hair might grow.
Youko Kurama: I'll take my chances without it.
Julia: Suit yourself. (sells it to old bald guy)
Amanda: And that's all for now!
Really Fast Announcer Guy: Why do I feel slightly under used? Whatever. This tournament brought to you in part by speed racer, oho.
Amanda: So I hope it didn't suck.
Julia: TT It was so beautiful.
Arielle: What was?
Amanda: ARIELLE! (hug)
Arielle: Manda I can't breathe.
Amanda: Sorry. (lets go) This is Arielle, and she helped with this chapter, she wrote the forehead chapstick commercial. And she's awesome cause even though she doesn't know what anime is, she still liked the story and helped! Give her a big round of applause!
Random Spectators 1-57: HURRAH! W00t! (applause) (cheering) YOU DA BOMB!
Arielle: ;;;
Amanda: All right, also, no announcers or announcer's friends were harmed in the making of this fic!
Julia: Amanda… There are some rabid Youko fans headed this way…
Amanda: Er… Youko's hair was not harmed in the making of this fic.
Julia: Okay they're headed next-door to a de-tox clinic, never mind.
Amanda: --;;;