The F in Pike Chapter 3

What's past is past is present

Author's Note: I am going to be busy this weekend at a convention so you might get a chapter of She Who Was My Love before Saturday, my regular posting schedule.

The rumble of the wheels against the road makes the car shake, almost like a constant shiver, as we drive along the road together.

Damn car... I know it was the best I could afford with my income, and I barely use it since just about everything is in walking distance of where I live, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to hate it. It's slow, it breaks down easily, and the suspension is bad. If it weren't for these trips that we take and the fact that Dawn is now at Stanford a couple hundred miles away, I probably would've sold this hunk of junk a while back.

But I can't. Trentville is too far away to walk, and Stanford is too short a distance to be flying there, which would probably cost more than it would to drive there anyway. So I guess I just have to suck it up and keep this car going. It may not be perfect, but I need some way of getting to Dawn if she ever needs me.

Not that she would ever actually ask for my help at this point. I haven't heard a single word from her since the moment she left, and that wasn't exactly the best moment either. There were no teary goodbyes at the airport, no endless acts of hugging and talk of how I'm only a phone call or an email away. Well, at least not from her anyway. I kept trying to hold back the tears and not babble too much at the idea of her leaving. It was hard though. No matter whatever else might be going on, she's still my little sister and she's going off to college. That's kind've a big deal.

Mom made a big deal of the day that I went off to college, and I was only going a couple miles out of town. She was kind've a mess every time she'd pass by my room and see me packing for college, but in a sort've happy way. She'd always smile and sometimes she'd just stand in my doorway and watch me for no particular reason in that non-creepy way that she always used to do. And I guess now I understand why.

I only wish that Dawn's leaving could have been as happy an experience as mine was. Every day leading up to her going got more and more tense. She just kept getting more and more distant as time went on. I'm not sure why. Dawnie and I hadn't been getting along that great for the past few months, but it feels like something's changed. Like there's something I've said or done that made her clam up whenever I'm around.

The more I asked her about it, the less she talked to me. We've always had trouble talking, but this time is different somehow. She's not going to tell me what's wrong this time.

Looking over at the passenger in my car with me, I take a deep breath before going back to watching the road.

So I'll just have to try and talk to the one person in the world who might know.

With a glance over at Faith again, I kinda have to smile at the sight of her. Faith sees it and gives me a curious look.

"What?"

I just shrug back at her.

"It's nothing..."

She lets out this slightly annoyed breath and goes back to staring out the window the way she has been for the past hour or two of the car ride. Her expression is all but blank.

Okay, maybe that was a little harsh of me. I've barely said a word to her the whole ride, and she's been quiet the whole ride. And the way she looks doesn't exactly make me think she's happy about it, despite where we're going. I should probably do something about that. I'll never get her to open up and talk if I shut her out the entire ride.

"It's just that..."

She looks my way and I try to smile back without taking my eyes off the road for too long.

"This is, kinda funny."

"What's that?"

"This..."

Again she looks at me, this time with a slightly un-amused look on her face.

"Us... this you and me thing... it's funny."

All she does is keep giving me a bit of a glare with the look of confusion coming through.

"I just mean, a couple of years ago, I never would've done this with you, gone away on a trip together, and especially not alone."

"Really..."

"Yeah, I... up until that last time in Sunnydale, I was pretty much convinced that you were out to stab me in the gut like I did to you the second I turned my back like some paranoid freak."

Faith mostly just sits in her seat while I talk.

"It's only paranoid if it's not true B."

Looking over at Faith, I give her a questioning look. She smiles back with a bit of a mischievous grin and shrugs like she couldn't help it or something.

Okay...

"Well, anyway... look at us now. We work together, live in the same town without constantly trying to bash each other's brains in, and we're actually taking trips together every so often. You might even call us friends."

Neither of us says anything to that.

"I just think it's funny how life turns out sometimes. Who would've thought you and me would become friends like this?"

"Well I can definitely say I wasn't counting on it myself. I figured you'd dump me off on the side of road somewhere if you didn't have me thrown back in jail or something."

I shake my head gently at the statement.

"I could never do that to you."

There's silence from her side of the car for a second and I glance over at her to see she's got this 'I don't believe that for a second' kinda look on her face.

All right that was obvious.

"Okay so maybe I thought about it twenty or thirty times. But you know, you helped out with The First and with all the after planning so I figured I owed you at least a chance to prove you changed. And you did. I never would've..."

Wait, that's probably not the best subject to bring up for the moment.

"Never mind..."

"What?"

"It's not important."

"Come on B, what? You wanted to talk and share, so share."

"I..."

With a short pause to take a breath, I glance over at her long enough without crashing the car.

Gotta make sure she won't take this the wrong way. She'd probably figure it out if I tried to cover it up somehow.

"Well... I never would've let you go near Dawn if I hadn't seen the better side of you long before then."

Suddenly, she gets this upset and slightly angry look on her face.

"Right... so how much longer until we get there do you think?"

Damn, walked head first right into that one. Stupid mistake, of course, that's what I'm good at so I shouldn't be surprised.

"Uh, I don't know. Twenty minutes I think."

"Thank god I'm relying on your navigational skills this time. You've only done it 6 or 7 times over the past 4 years."

I could probably point out the obvious fact that she's done the driving the other 8 times we've made this trip in those years and shouldn't need my help with the timeline. But I think I've pushed the envelope of our typical conversation enough for now.

"Don't worry, we'll get there."

She gives me a slightly playful scoff.

"Sure..."

I just keep driving rather than comment. We both stay quiet.

That's just great. I tell myself I'm gonna ease my way into the subject of Dawn with her on this trip and I go and blurt out her name before we even get where we're going... great job helping out.

Taking a deep breath without acting like I'm trying to calm myself down, I keep driving.

Well, at least the subject is out of the bag now. It's the giant pink elephant standing in the room while out, but at least it's out. I'll just try and avoid talking about it for a while and come back to it later. There's a plan. I only hope I can stick to this one.

End of Chapter 3