Ok so can we all agree that Mariana is just the worst? Glad we cleared that up, moving on.
The next morning the house was unusually quiet. Lena and Stef were already awake and were downstairs eating breakfast and laying out something for the kids to eat. Brandon was already at Mike's and the twins we already at their friends' houses, leaving the two mothers to tend to the newest members of their family. Jude came running downstairs first and was happy to take a seat next to Stef and dig into the pancakes on the plate in front of him.
"Hey sweets, your sister up yet?"
"She was in the shower when I came down." Lena stood up from her stool. "I have to go get ready for this meeting, hopefully she didn't use up all the hot water." Jude smiled as Lena left the room and headed upstairs. She almost made it into her and Stef's bedroom when she heard Callie's voice coming from the bathroom. She didn't listen for long, but she heard the teen singing to herself in the shower and it made her pause and take note of the lyrics.
Hey Lucy, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while
I got some things I need to say
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today
Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday
They said it'd bring some closure to say your name
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can't help me make amends
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today
Lena thought to herself for a moment and went back downstairs. When she reappeared in the kitchen Stef looked up from her paper clearly confused.
"I thought you were going to steal a shower?"
"I was…I am, but I heard Callie singing in the shower and I…" Lena trailed off and looked at Jude. "What was your mom's name?"
"She singing that song again isn't she?" Jude seemed to know what Lena must have overheard his sister singing. He picked up his plate and rinsed it out in the sink before looking back at her. "Lucy, our mom's name was Lucy." With that Jude went back upstairs, leaving both women in the kitchen.
"I take it you heard something you weren't supposed to?"
"I didn't know she could sing like that."
"I think she like surprising people."
"They seem to handle this in really different ways. I mean Jude is acting almost excited, like you are taking them to see someone who is alive and Callie is acting…"
"Like I'm taking them to visit their mother's grave. I think that's pretty normal baby. I mean she's older, she has more memories of her mom and she has been a surrogate mother to him since he was almost a baby, she's being more reserved because in her mind one of them has to hold it together."
"That can't be healthy for her."
"It's not, but we can address that later. Let's just let them have their moment today and we can talk to them about it later." Stef kissed Lena briefly before pushing her out of the kitchen. "Now go get ready, you'll be late otherwise." Half an hour later Lena had left the house and Callie was waiting for Jude to come downstairs so that they could leave. When he finally came down he was dressed very sharp, like he was going to church and Callie smiled as she tried to get his hair to actually cooperate. Eventually even she gave up and ushered him into the car while Stef jumped in the drivers seat.
"Alright my darlings, where to?"
"First the florist on the corner and then the cemetery just of the highway." Stef nodded and they were off. When she pulled into the parking lot Callie jumped out of the car and entered the small flower shop by herself. A few minutes later Callie emerged from the store with her purchase in a brown bag. She opened the backseat sliding door and handed Jude the bag to hold during the rest of their trip. They got back on the road and drove for about 15 minutes until Callie pointed out that the next exit was the one that they needed. After a few short turns Stef could see that they were driving along side a very large cemetery and Callie pointed out which gate for Stef to turn at. As she turned right Stef could see the large sign that read Gate of Heaven Cemetery. They followed the winding road for a while and then Callie told Stef that she could pull over anywhere along that stretch of road. Stef slowly pulled over and shut off the engine as the kids got out of the car. Jude grabbed the bag and took of, almost running through a maze of graves, completely unfazed by their surroundings. Callie stood still for a moment and took a deep breath. Stef stood next to her and said nothing, but simply waited for the teenager to give her some direction.
"You don't have to come with us if you find this to be creepy."
"Callie, I will never get the chance to meet the woman who is responsible for you and Jude, but the very least I can do is pay my respects to a life cut tragically short." Callie smiled with a small tear in her eye and started walking after Jude with Stef following her at a short distance. When they walked over a small hill Stef could see Jude sitting in front of a large tombstone. Stef stopped walking and stood underneath a near by tree. Callie went over and sat down next to her brother. Callie handed her brother the flowers and he gently laid them at the base of the smooth stone. Stef watched as Jude appeared to be talking non-stop to his mother's head stone and after about 20 minutes had passed the fast pace seemed to stop. The young boy got a sad look on his face and seemed to speak slower. When he stopped talking altogether he turned his back to the grave and fell into his sister's embrace. Jude sat in Callie's lap as the teenager spoke to him and soothed his tears. This whole scene played out in about an hour and soon Jude got up from Callie's lap and went over to Stef.
"You don't have to stand over here."
"I wanted to give you and Callie some space." Jude took her hand and led her over to where Callie seemed to be frozen in place.
"Callie can I go sit on the bench?" Callie looked over her shoulder before telling him that he could go, but to stay in sight. Stef watched as Jude went over to a bench that was right under a nearby tree. Jude seemed perfectly happy to sit there and reflect so Stef turned her attention back to the teenager sitting at her feet.
"Mind if I take a seat?"
"Knock yourself out." Stef sat down next to Callie and finally took some time to examine the tombstone. The name was neatly etched into the stone 'Lucy Jacobs' and below that her birthday and the day that she died. It was the last date that caught Stef's attention. Callie said that they go visit on the day she died as well as other major days, but she didn't know that today was that anniversary. Before she said anything Stef noticed a short quote at the base of the grave.
'Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine.'
"Jane Eyre was one of her favorites, it seemed fitting all things considered." Callie noticed Stef running her fingers along the quote and she explained.
"For any mother her children are always the most beautiful things in her life. I'm sure you brought her more joy than you can even imagine."
"I hope so."
"I'm sorry Callie, I didn't know today was the day she died."
"How would you have known, I wasn't going to tell you."
"Why not?"
"It's not exactly my favorite day to remember. I mean yeah, we lost our mom, but that day she died I had to do things no 8 year old should ever have to do."
"What do you mean?"
"You're a smart woman, in an apartment where two small children live with their mother there is a very short list of people who would have been the one to find my mother and seeing as Jude was still sleeping in a crib that leaves only one person." Callie didn't say it, she didn't have to, Stef understood all too well what Callie had seen that day and she shut her eyes at the image of an 8 year old coming across the dead body of their mother.
"Callie…"
"Don't…please don't tell me you are sorry." Callie was getting mad, well she was distraught and it was coming off as mad, but Stef knew better.
"I was 8…I was fucking 8 years old and I found her. I had to call 911 and watch them come into my house and just take her and talk about her like she was nothing. She wasn't nothing and she was the only person we had and a fucking brain aneurysm took her away from us. How in the hell is that fair?"
"It's not fair Callie, none of what happened is fair."
"She looked like she was sleeping. What kind of cruel joke is that to play on a kid? Making death look like sleep. I just stood there, waiting for her to respond…just waiting, saying mommy over and over and over again and…nothing." Callie was losing her grip on her emptions and was hitting the ground with her fist to make her point and Stef couldn't let her do it anymore so she wrapped her arms around the teenager as she lashed out in anger and in pain. When Callie stopped fighting Stef, she finally fell into her blonde's embrace and the teenager allowed herself to be held for the first time in years.
"She was mine."
"I know she was sweetheart, I know she was." All the pent up years of hurt, anger and sadness came spilling out in that moment and Callie couldn't have stopped it if she had tried. Stef let her cry and let her be angry, holding her tightly and trying to offer any kind of soothing she could. Soon Jude rejoined his sister and Stef and without saying a word he curled into the other side of Stef's body and the blonde wrapped her left arms around the pre-teen and held him tight against her just like she was doing for Callie. Stef wasn't sure what she had expected to happen that day, but sitting at the grave of a woman she never met, holding two sobbing children wasn't what she had envisioned. Even so, sitting there, staring at the grave in front of her, holding Callie in one arm and Jude in the other, Stef felt an odd connection with the long deceased mother of the children she was currently comforting. Stef had no explanation for it, but in her heart she knew that she and Lena had a unique opportunity, but it was more than that. To Stef, it felt like she had a debt to repay. A debt she owed to a woman she never met who had, in a very round about way, given her two more children to love. The very least she could do was finish the job that Lucy Jacobs had started and raise those kids in a family that loved them like they were blood.
Nothing else was said that day at the cemetery, but in that heartbreaking moment, two mothers came to an understanding.
Hope you all liked it. Let me know what you thought. The section of song lyrics is Lucy by Skillet