Right. So me and Retsu jump out of the gate way, and take in the scene. The history books write it differently, but I was there. We couldn't write down what really happened. Its too embarrassing. I still face palm when I think about it. As soon as the Espada got into Fake Kakura, pretty much gave Aizen the finger and fucked off to do their own thing. Stark and Shusin were drinking. Stark was a complete lightweight. At one point he during the celebrations he grabbed Tia and rammed his tongue down her throat. She responded in kind. Pretty sure their fuck session levelled a couple of buildings. Barragan just went back to Heudo Menco. Tia and Matsumoto were discussing fashion. Gin had kicked Aizen in the balls and joined them. Hitsu and Lilynete were talking about something. I don't know what, I didn't really care. Soi fon and Old Man Yama were screaming at every one to fight. So was Aizen, actually. No, actually, wait! Tousen was fighting! He and the fox guy. That happened. Probably the only thing to happen. The visard were there, catching up with every one. Both sides leaders give up trying to rally the troops, and simply prepare to face on another directly. Thats when I came in. I drop in behind Aizen, slash him real good. I grab him by the shoulder, and whisper in his ear
"You know why I'm better than you, Aizen? I didn't miss your spine, bitch."
He looks down, and there go his waist and everything below them. Everybody just stops and stares.
"So, whats for dinner?"
Thats what really happened. That night, we partied and drank until we passed out. The espada, sans the ones we killed, went back to Heudo, and we sat down to figure the story out. After a while, a good while, I just said to make any old shit up. As long as nobody dies, its all good. Somebody pointed out the issue of injurys. I just said to make if Orihime healed them. Thats how the history books were written.
Old man Yama came over to me, and said I was to be a captain. Shut up. I killed the big bad, I got to be a captain. Get your ass in gear, the ceremony was tomorrow.