Ack! I just watched Love Run Cold!! It changes everything!!! I totally had to redo this last chapter, that's why I took so long to post it... actually I don't think it's going to be the LAST chapter anymore... don't know, I'll see what comes out with the new info (man I hate seeing everything so late over here!)

One of Those Days

I could feel tears at the edges of my eyes while I was washing off my hair. I had been thinking of death since five this afternoon. Don't get me wrong. I'm a Crime Scene Investigator. I see and think about death more than most people do. I've seen the atrocities people can do, I just never link them back to myself, or anyone I know for that matter. I couldn't do my job if I did.

Now however, I couldn't get the darkness to lift from my thoughts, especially when I started to think about all the "what if's". What if we hadn't seen Beth? What if I hadn't volunteered? What if he had pulled the trigger? What if I had stopped existing? Would the bullet have lodged itself in my brain or would it have been a through and through? Would Sid be the one examining my body over the cold steel table right now? I gagged. My thoughts were getting too morbid. I felt sick, but I couldn't stop.

What of all the people I would have left behind? Who would have mourned me? How would they have remembered me? How would've Danny felt?

I gave a sigh and wiped the water out of my eyes. I didn't have to imagine that. He had told me himself.

After they had cleared the apartment, Dana and I had been rushed to the ambulance to be examined. The poor girl was in a state, but besides the shock and a few minor injuries, she was ok. I had an ugly bruise on my lower stomach, but that was because I was a clumsy idiot and had hit myself with the girls chair when I'd ducked. There was nothing really wrong with me.

I would have been let go if they hadn't discovered a small tear in my eardrum. That was the reason I now had to miss three days at work and why I had been taken to the hospital with Dana. I don't want to go all medieval on these people, but come on, if that wasn't a flesh wound, then what was?

The doc put me on some antibiotics and gave me something for the inflammation. I turned down the analgesics. The pain was bearable and I hate taking pills. The doctor also asked if I had anyone to call. He didn't want me going home alone because he said something about my equilibrium being compromised. I said I would call someone and he let me go.

Imagine my surprise when I saw he was waiting for me outside.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I watched the buildings rush past as Danny and I drove back to my apartment. My stomach went from feeling weird to feeling sick so I turned and stared at the dashboard instead. There was little conversation and a lot of discomfort. None of us seemed to want to mention what had happened for obvious reasons.

"Left turn at the light," I instructed.

"I know." He barely reacted keeping his eyes on the road.

I couldn't help but steal a glance at him. He couldn't seriously be mad at me. It was absurd. What for? Something was definitely wrong with him though. He hadn't said anything since I had gotten into the car. No smart remarks, no wise cracks, it wasn't like him.

"What's wrong?" I blurted out. He raised a brow and I winced inwardly: that had been smooth.

He didn't do much else though, just waited for the light to turn. I didn't know if his ignoring me was a good thing or a bad thing. When he didn't answer I thought about asking again but decided against it.

Another five minutes of silence passed before he pulled up in front of the stairs of my apartment complex. He turned off the engine and looked up at the car in front of his. I was thinking it would be best to just get out while I could and forget the whole 'what's wrong' thing. That would only lead to places I didn't really want to go anyway.

"You almost died today," he finally answered.

I felt my chest compress hearing the gun click in my head all over again. Subtle as ever I see.

"Danny," I started.

"What the hell Monroe?" he interrupted, "What where you thinkin'? Goin' up there today, making a decision like that."

Don't tell me he's mad and blaming me for what happened!

"Rash as it was; what do you think would have happened to the girls if I hadn't done what I did?" I was mad now too.

"Don't know, maybe a murdered might've put a gun to their heads?"

Now I was pissed. It was like talking to a kid! His sarcastic tone didn't help my mood at all. I knew I had done the right thing, but the way he said it made me feel like I was the stupidest person on the planet for even thinking about it.

"Danny, nothing happened. Would you have liked two more bodies in the morgue instead? You know how it would have gone down without us."

Up till now we had been hanging on to whatever thread of sanity we had left, so we hadn't yelled. But from here on every word seemed to raise a few notches in volume.

"Nothing happened this time," he looked forcefully at me, "what's gonna happen the next time you get an itch and decide to go play hero ah? You ever stop to think about that? You think you're invulnerable?"

"Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing," I shot back.

"That's not the point. This isn't about me Lindsey," he looked down at the steering wheel.

"Well it may as well be! Why don't you just tell me what your problem is?" I finally shouted.

"It's you a'right? It's you being so damn reckless!" apparently he didn't like the sound of his voice with that tone so he took a deep breath and continued, "Jesus, if you would have just stopped to think for one second. About what coulda happened to you? You think I want another dead coworker? Another friend I couldn't protect? I'd rather have ten bodies in the morgue over yours."

And there it was.

I may still have been angry, can't really remember. Something new welled up in my chest and pushed out everything else. He went silent and stared at the ceiling of the car. I looked at him for as long as I dared, then redirected my gaze to my lap.

I heard wrong. This couldn't be happening. What was I supposed to say to something like that?

"You spend more than eight hours a day with someone, they're gonna grow on you."

I turned my eyes back to him.

"I care about you kid. You know that."

No, no, I didn't want to go there, especially not like this. This had gotten out of hand. Somewhere way, way back we had crossed the 'friendly co-worker' line. I think it was when we started to yell.

"Danny," I interrupted. He looked at me with a sort of helpless look in his eyes. It made me cringe.

I had to take a breath to steady myself, "I'm really sorry I made you worry. I honestly didn't know it would bother you so much. And I... I appreciate the sentiment."

He gave a small scoff and half smiled, "But...?"

"But I would have done it anyway," I finished.

He nodded and gave a sour smile still staring out the window, "I know. It's one of the things that makes you, you."

It was in the silence that followed that I realized my heart was hammering away in my chest. I thought this was enough emotional turmoil for one day. It was time to leave and hope things hadn't been too screwed up between us.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I turned off the water and let my head thump against the white tiles. I saw the droplets of water slide down my hair and splash near my feet. If I had just gotten my damn bag and left I wouldn't be in such a state now. My face got hot just remembering it.

Having a gun in your face makes you feel things. Nasty things that are hard to forget. But above fear, regret has a way of sticking with you forever. I guess it's because no matter how much you think about it, you can't blame anyone but yourself for what happened. The whole, 'why did I do it' feeling was what was eating at me right now. I knew I couldn't change anything anyway, but what I would have given if he had just kept his hands to himself.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Montana."

There was quite a sight when I looked back towards him. He was a lot closer than he had just been and his hand was now pressing against my left cheek. I froze when I felt his thumb brush my earlobe. Questions flooded my mind. What was he doing? Why all of a sudden? Why wasn't I pulling back?

What happened next seemed like an out of body experience. There was a fleeting warning amidst my yearning, but it went unnoticed. Dear God how I regret it.

I pushed my face into his and felt our lips touch. I felt him hesitate at first, but when he answered, I melted. The feeble warning had now become a shriek for reason screaming at me to pull away.

To my surprise though, he pulled back on me. There was a look in his eyes I couldn't quite identify, something between regret and bewilderment. Now my logic decided to take over again. I hissed under my breath and felt the blood rush up to my cheeks.

"Uh," he stuttered some and made a few movements to scoot back to the driver's seat.

I felt pathetic. I let my feelings get the better of me and now, now what?

"You're, you were bleeding."

I looked up instinctively to find him looking back at me apologetically. Over his hand I saw the traces of my blood on his 'wandering' thumb. I shut my eyes trying to make the pain and embarrassment go away.

"You ok?" he asked cautiously.

"Uh, thanks for the ride," I smiled and let myself out of his car. It was decided that the more I stayed near him, the more I would screw myself over so it was time to leave.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he jumped out of the SUV and caught me before I got to the stairs. I cursed mentally. It was too much to ask that he let me off that easily.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "Danny I, I'm sorry," I said pressing my lids shut, "I shouldn't have, I let--"

"Have dinner with me."

Huh? I made the mistake of looking up at him. His gaze, as always, never faltered. He was, serious.

"What?"

He shrugged, "Let me take you out. I know a nice place we can get together, maybe talk for a while. You know, just you and me."

I felt my cheeks redden (again). No, no, no, no, no. Bad idea.

"Danny," I wavered.

"It'll just be a friendly date."

I scoffed inwardly, yeah right. There was nothing friendly about his proposal. I fisted my hand and gave a meek smile. I couldn't do this. I knew damn well why; even if I wanted it so very badly.

I opened my mouth to say no.

"Ok."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Now of course I was in an even bigger mess than when I had yelled at him. I couldn't do this, I had known before I accepted the invitation. Now I was a mere ten days away from my first 'friendly' date with Danny Messer.

I toweled off my hair and felt something tickle my ear. Not again. I went over to my dresser and picked up the gauze the doctor had given me in case my ear started acting up. Damn blood was what had caused everything to begin with.

But why had I said yes? I knew what it would lead to. I was screwed if I went, and screwed if I didn't go. I should have just pulled away and rushed up to my apartment when I had the chance.

I was now left to lye in my bed with my flannel pj's (reserved for extra crappy days such as this one) and think about things I had long since put behind me. Supposedly anyway.

Eric Clapton came on my stereo and I let the music fill my ears. I really should turn it down; being partially deaf I was sure it was a lot louder than I heard it. I was surprised the neighbors hadn't come complaining.

Then finally, thirty seven minutes later, the day was over. I was still lying in bed staring up at the ceiling. It had just been one of those days, but it was over now. Regardless though, my tears kept falling.

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There's something about this ending that doesn't leave me too convinced, but there you have it. Thank you for your support and your lovely reviews and corrections. I guess the reason I can do Lindsey so well is that I can identify with her character. I'm a small town girl who went to the big city all alone in search of... something too. I also have a crush I don't want turning into anything else. Probably for very different reasons but, I can sympathize anyway.

Of course, as I said I have only seen up to the Love Run Cold episode, so I have no clue what the girl is hiding, maybe that's why I was unconvinced with my ending. But moving on to bigger and better things, I also have an itch to do Danny's POV for what came next in that episode, you know, the whole "Maybe we should just do our jobs" thing. Don't know if I can pull him off though. Some nice reviews might convince me :P

Hope u enjoyed, cuz you'll be seeing me again around here... You have been warned!