Chapter Three

"Something smells good." Tony called through as he walking into the house. "Mmm…you know what I love about you not having to work, Sweetcheeks?"

"Lori is here for dinner, Michael." Ziva poked her head out of the kitchen and sent him a warning look.

"Hi." The young woman waved and grinned.

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, thank you. And yourself?"

"Hungry. What's for dinner?"

"Paella." Ziva laughed and returned back to her cooking.

"I'm going for a shower, I'll be ten minutes." He dropped his backpack next to the couch and headed off to the en suite. Lori sat back at the kitchen table and smiled as Ziva went back to the stove.

"I wish my Charlie was home. He was deployed a month ago." She sighed. Ziva turned around and tried as hard as she could to look sympathetic, managing quite well. It wasn't that she didn't feel for the woman, she did, she just wasn't really one for expressing that sympathy. She walked over and sat next to the woman at the table, patting her shoulder in what she hoped was a calming action. "But," Lori sniffed, "He's only gone for 6 months, so he should be back before Charlie junior's born."

"Well, that is good. I worry that if we do ever manage to get pregnant then Michael will be deployed and he will miss the birth."

"Hey, what's going on?" Tony walked through, a USMC t-shirt and jeans on, his wet hair flopping into his eyes.

"We were just talking." Ziva shrugged.

"She was comforting me, making me feel better." Lori sniffed again as he tasted the paella from the pan on the stove.

"Mmm. Beautiful, a great cook and kind." He walked over to Ziva, helped her stand up and wrapped his arms around her. "I am a very lucky man."

"Gibbs called this afternoon." She whispered into his ear before trailing kisses along his jaw and kissing him softly on the lips.

"Important?" He whispered back, pressing his lips to the top of her head as she indicated 'no'. Her hair smelt like coconut and he had trouble keeping his feelings detached. He closed his eyes and momentarily allowed himself to imagine that it was all real.

"Are you all right?" She pulled away, regretting the immediate loss of contact with him.

"It's just been a long day. I missed seeing you." He said truthfully. She just turned away, ignoring the surge of emotions she felt. It was just a case. He was saying it for display. She carried the pan with the paella in over to the dinner table as Tony placed three plates next to it.

"You two look so good together."

"What do you mean?" Ziva frowned.

"You fit, y'know. Aesthetically, as a couple, you look natural. I mean, it helps that you're both good-looking people." She grinned and Ziva blushed. Tony puffed his chest out and beamed.

"You hear that, Sweetcheeks? I'm a good-looking guy."

"Well, we all knew that, my Little Hairy Butt." She winked and Lori chuckled.

"My butt is not hairy." He defended himself.

"If that is what you have to tell yourself." Ziva shrugged, serving up the food and smiling, trying to hide how hard she was finding it to keep her emotions separate. She knew it was going to be tough, living in such close proximity to him, but it had only been two days and she was already finding it hard to control herself around him.

"Hey." He covered her tightly clenched fist with his hand, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Are you okay? Hey, look at me, Evelyn. Are you all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. I was just off in my own world."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Later." She flicked her eyes to Lori, who was discreetly trying not to watch.

"I can go, if you need to…"

"It is fine." Ziva turned to her fully and shook her head. "I am fine. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you." She smiled and tucked into the dinner. "Wow. You are so good at cooking!"

"See, it's not just me who thinks so, Sweetcheeks." He grinned, flinching when she kicked his shin under the table. "I was complimenting you."

"And I do not need you to compliment me. I love you without the compliments."

"You do?" He narrowed his eyes, his grin fading into just a subtle smile.

"Yes, Michael. I love you." She put emphasis on the name. Now wasn't the time to confess her love for Tony. That was something that there would never be time for.

"I love you too." He smiled softly, and although she knew he didn't mean it and it was all for the cover, it made her blush at the truth that could be heard in it. He really was a good actor, to manage to make a lie sound so truthful.

"You should come along tomorrow, you could get to know some of the other mums around here." Lori grinned as they stood on the doorstep. "I'll pick you up at ten."

"I will see you at ten then." Ziva nodded and the young woman bounced down the driveway to her car, turning and waving before climbing in and driving away.

"You think she's naturally that bouncy or if pregnancy is doing that to her?" Tony asked as he closed the door, his eyes following Ziva as she walked to the sofa and sat down.

"I would say a bit of both. She reminds me of Abby."

"Apart from the fact that I doubt Abby would ever be seen in a pink, frilly blouse"

"There is that." She looked at Tony, who was still staring at her. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Imagining you pregnant."

"DiNozzo, if I catch you imagining me pregnant one more time I will ensure that you lose all ability to have children. Is. That. Clear?"

"Crystal." He nodded, continuing to stare at her.

"DiNozzo." She threatened.

"Not imagining you pregnant."

"Then what are you doing?" She hissed.

"Imagining you with a baby." He took one look at her glare and flinched. "I'm stopping. You want to talk about what was bothering you at dinner?"

"No." She shook her head.

"Look, Ziva, I know the past couple of months have been difficult, they have been for me too, believe it or not, but you can talk to me." He joined her on the sofa.

"Tony, it is nothing. Really." She looked away. "Just leave it."

"Ziva, you are the one who is always telling me to talk about how I feel, tell people what's wrong. Why can't you do the same?"

"Because. That is not how I am built." She inhaled deeply and turned to him. "I am going to bed. Goodnight, Tony."

"I meant what I said earlier." She frowned and turned back to him, leaning against the doorframe. "You being beautiful and a good cook and kind. You are all three and more." She nodded, a slightly puzzled expression on her face. "And I am a very lucky man. I have you as a colleague and a friend." He clarified.

"And you are my friend, Tony." She said quietly before turning her back to him and readying for bed.

"You look so natural." The woman, Kathryn, said as Ziva cradled the young child in her arms.

"Didn't I tell you she would?" Lori nodded. "It's like you've always been doing it."

"I used to babysit my little sister." Ziva said quietly, never averting her gaze from the baby boy's blue eyes.

"How old is she?" Another of the mothers asked, holding a fidgeting six-month-old on her lap. Stephanie maybe. She couldn't remember all the names. The child's name was definitely Antonia. It reminded her of Tony, obviously.

"My sister died. A long time ago." Ziva shook her head, looking up and realising she was still Evelyn, not Ziva, surrounded by the mothers and mothers to be at the 'mother and baby' group Lori had brought her to.

"Oh, Evelyn. I'm so sorry." Tessa sighed, clutching her daughter closer to her body.

"I learnt to cope." She played with the small hand of Kathryn's son. "He is a beautiful baby."

"Ha, you wouldn't be saying that if you were the one being woken by him every three hours." She said, making everyone chuckle. "But you're right. He is my beautiful boy, and I wouldn't want a world without him."

"I only wish I could be as happy as you all are." Ziva said, meaning it whole heartedly. She was an officer of Mossad. She would never have a husband or children. A child would be a liability, and Mossad would not allow for that. And it would of course be Mossad who would be the ones who would have a problem with it. She was only a liaison officer. Soon enough she would be sent back home, back into her father's control. It wasn't as if she had ever planned on having a family anyway – sure, she had wanted children when she was young, but she had grown up and gone into the Israeli army, then on into Mossad, and she had realised the possibility for a family was below zero. Her life expectancy was not exactly high, and if she were to survive long enough to have a family, there was no guarantee she would ever even see her child's fifth birthday. And then of course there was her father. He would never even consider letting her have a family, and if he did, she doubted he would allow any form of love to be present in a relationship. 'Love is an emotion, Ziva, and emotions are weaknesses' her father's words echoed through her head. If her father was right then she was most definitely weak, because she loved Tony more than anything else, even if he didn't love her. And of course, she would never be able to have a family with Tony, which would mean that she would always be loving another man whilst she was hypothetically married with children. She guessed her father was right. Love was most definitely a weakness. Sammy squirmed in her arms and she blinked, forgetting momentarily about the child she was cradling. "Sorry little one, was I not paying you enough attention?" She cooed, stroking his soft tufts of hair.

"Trust me, Evelyn. You and Michael will have a child eventually, and then you will be just as happy as the rest of us." Lori placed a hand on Ziva's forearm.

"I can only hope that you are correct." She smiled and handed Sammy back to Kathryn. She had barely released the boy back into his mother's arms when a toddler came barrelling into her, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek. "Hello."

"Hi." The little girl giggled.

"What is your name?"

"Bet'any."

"Bethany is Carol's eldest daughter." Tessa pointed to a woman with a young child sleeping on her lap and an apologetic smile on her face. "She likes new people, don't you Sweetie?"

"I twooooo." She held up three fingers and Ziva smiled, folding down one for her.

"She still has some trouble with her numbers." Stephanie laughed.

"So you know all the mothers and children who come here?"

"Most mothers in the area do. We all rely on one another. If your washing machine breaks down, we always know that there's someone just down the street who'll let you use theirs." Stephanie said, and everyone agreed. "We're like a family here. And now you're part of it. Which means that you get to come to come and help us shop for baby things tomorrow for Annie. She had her third child yesterday."

"Thank you. I would love to." Ziva nodded, smiling as Bethany sat herself down on her lap and grinned up at her, holding the book she had clutched in one of her chubby fists out for Ziva to take.

"You read story. Pwease?"

"Of course I will." She opened the book, Peter Rabbit, and the whole room fell quiet, waiting for Ziva to start.