I'm back!

I am so grateful for the follow-up and the comments, really, I try very hard to make this story good and all of you like it. Some comments, I don't know why, not appear in the reviews section, but I see all of them in my email account. Infinite thanks for taking a minut for that. I hope you continue to reviewing and reading and following this story. It's hard to translate but, I think it's looking good.

So... new chpter! I am very proud of this one because... well, I love Gemma! and I think she knows very well what she's talking about... soon there will be a big romantic moment. We'll see what happens. Let me know what you are thinking!

Many thanks.

3

Mama knows best

OC Point of View

It was a really hard night.

Although I tried to fall asleep, the only thing I could get was a good dose of nightmares and grotesque scenes that kept repeating in my mind again and again without being able to stop them.

I saw Jax and me on our wedding day, as clear as the dawn. He smiled and I began to recite our vows ... but then, a flash of lightning silenced my voice and his face turned white. Jax's chest began to flow blood, which spilled through his body to create a puddle on the floor. I tried but couldn't stop it. The red liquid soaked his cut and my dress and in the end, he lost his strength and fell to the floor, panting and begging.

"Don't let me die. Don't let me die"

I had opened my eyes between tremors and nausea and I hadn't been able to continue sleeping. So there I was, at noon, stirring a dark coffee that I wasn't sure I could swallow. My head ached, my temples throbbed and I felt... a sensation... a strange feeling of fear.

It was silly. The dreams were just that ... they did not have to reflect anything, right? There was nothing to interpret.

I had barely sat at the table when the front door opened with a screech. I heard the unmistakable sound of Gemma's heels, and only a second later I saw her smile in front of me. She was wearing dark jeans, high shoes and a tight body with embroidery on the sleeves and chest. She was perfect, unlike me. My appearance was a mess, I knew it.

—Morning baby-girl. -I heard her telling me while she walked through the kitchen to pour herself a coffee. I nodded as greeting.

—Have you ever considered knocking on the door?

Gemma gave me a smile, showing the small silver object between her fingers.

—Why? You gave me a key for emergencies.

—And where is the fire? -In the end, I gave in to the love I felt for her. After all, arguing with my mother-in-law had the same effect as preaching in the desert, so I gave up.

I got up slowly and kissed her on the cheek. She put her arms around me, and for a second, I wished the gesture would last forever.

I suppose nobody knows how much needs the comfort of another human being until they offer it to him.

—Jesus Christ, you're frozen. Is everything alright?

My response was a grimace, and I throw the rest of the coffee in the sink.

—Life is perfect.

—I see... -Gemma swept the kitchen with her hawk's eye, stopping at the dishes I had washed the night before. She pointed to a long fork trencher and made a very bad gesture. —What the hell is that? Are you going to advance the Thanksgiving dinner this year?

—It's for... -I made a sign, as if stabbing something. Gemma was horrified and that seemed funny to me. It was ironic that something could impact her considering the kind of life she had. That both, we had. —I thought I heard something under the house, a big rodent. Or a raccoon. I just wanted... you know, chase him away.

—For that, sweetheart, God invented husbands.

I rolled my eyes.

—I was wondering when you would bring up the subject.

Gemma sipped coffee and sat in the chair I had been occupying, quiet and cool, as if she had all the time in the world to make her point clear.

—Listen, baby, I don't want to sound like the typical mother-in-law able to interfere...

—Really?

—But, I am worried. -Gemma keep going, without my cynicism appearing to disturb her. —This is taking too long. You wanted to make your point clear, express that you had the situation controlled and that you were going to handle it your way. I think it's fine. I respect that. But honey, the months are passing... and a husband has to sleep at home. With his wife.

—Well, I don't want him in this house, Gemma. I do not.

She let out a laugh, finished the coffee and then had the nerve to entertain herself by tearing a small bun and bringing it to her mouth with great delicacy.

—Don't you? Let me see... that's his ashtray. You are wearing one of his T-shirts and even if you try to hide it in your back —I felt her satisfaction like a slap —I can see your wedding ring. What else? Oh, yeah! All that clean laundry? It seems a little big for you, sweetness.

—And what am I supposed to do? Leave his clothes dirty? -denied —Besides... I'll ask him to come take his things any day.

—Yeah, sure you will. -Gemma shook her hands and then stood up.

Slowly, she came up to me and stroked a lock of my hair. She looked at me with tenderness, with wisdom... and I was unable to keep my eyes on hers.

—You're suffering and he's suffering too. You love him, and he loves you too. Why don't you both leave all this nonsense behind? You're not children anymore.

—I cannot, Gemma. I just... I... -Hurts. Admitting that meant for me to remember everything that had happened and the wound had not finished closing. —Jax lied to me. He looked me in the eye and he lied to me. He swore he would never hide anything from me and I trusted his word blindly, Gemma.

—And you can't forgive him yet. I get it. He has earned your anger and he is going to have to learn how to deal with break to promise means, but things don't work that way in our world, baby-girl. Jax makes a mistake, you make him pay. There are no privileges. No sex. No hugs in bed. He hurts you, you make him regret. -With her hand, Gemma pointed to the corridor that led to the rooms of the house. —But here, sweetheart. He's the president of the club and has an image of stability to show. You're his queen, that doesn't always bring good things, sometimes it's just responsibility. Sometimes, you have to make sure that the damage that has already been done, doesn't turn into something worse.

That made me smile. The club and its rules... I understood them. I accepted them. And I knew where I was getting in the first time my lips touched Jax's skin. I did not intend to change who he was or force him to leave something that was part of himself. His heritage. Your own blood. Because that was the man I had fallen in love with. But what I could not stand ... was that he would have broken my confidence. That something we had talked about, an agreement that both of us had reached, would now be null and void because he, unilaterally, had decided so.

I'm supposed to be his partner. His damn old lady. I could understand anything Jax needed to do, as long as it didn't keep me blind about it. Leaving me aside was the only thing I could not forgive. And that was exactly what he had done.

—What's that supposed to mean, Gemma? Do I have to forget my feelings, the betrayal, just to not push him to make more bad decisions?

—Jax is a man, sweetheart. And he's one of those who can't be without his family.

—Well, then he should have thought about it before.

Gemma sighed. He lit a cigarette and smoked in silence for a few seconds. She was far from satisfied with the direction the conversation had taken and was going to keep insisting. I knew it. I knew her well. I had learned to love and appreciate her as she was, and I want to think that she did the same with me. There were not a few stories about how Gemma Teller-Morrow alone was able to chase away the strongest of women if she considered them unworthy of the heart of her only son.

Apparently I was fit for the position. Although at that moment, angry and with that disturbing sensation going through me inside, I could not tell if that was a good thing.

—Listen to me, baby-girl. I have been married to two men who have run this club. I know how things work. John was a good man, loving and attentive, but when the pressure was too strong he found ways to alleviate it, and it was far away from here.

—So, should I forgive Jax and make everything go back to the way it used to be just to keep him from ending up in bed with any other woman?

God knows he could. Without any effort. The idea turn my stomach down, because suddenly that possibility became very real.

—Jax wants you deeply. And I know that because he has been locked up in the clubhouse office for almost six months with no more female contact than me. -Gemma's gaze cooled. —He has been faithful to you, and I think he will continue to be, but you're tightening the rope too much. You must give him something, something so that he understands that his efforts are on the right track.

—I'll not lose my pride, Gemma. I can't. I don't want.

—And you prefer to lose your husband? Is that what you want? C'mon, answer me! is that what you want?

—No, Gemma, of course not! I don't want to lose him! I love Jax! I want him.

I hit the table, emotionally and physically exhausted. I had not slept, I was afraid of my own feelings and I did not know how to deal with them. Jax was something that could not be overcome. Someone impossible to forget... someone I did not want to give up But for the moment ... I needed time and space to think. To forgive. And, above all, to understand.

—That's a good thing, honey. It's the only thing that really matters.

—I'm still mad at him, Gemma. Very.

—That's good too. -She smiled at me, winking at me. —Those bikers Boys are used to being so hard and strong that sometimes they forget who has the real power. Are you angry? Well, punish him. Teach him that he can not disrespect you in that way. Deny him the heat he wants most... but bring him home, baby. I'm telling you seriously. Bring your husband back to your house and put him in your bed. Then you will have time to decide when he can take you.

Gemma raised her eyebrows and I was very clear what she meant. I blushed with shame. There were still issues with which I did not feel comfortable talking to her... and the sexual life that I shared-or not, in the last six months-with her son was one of those taboos that she was unable to respect.

I tried desperately to change the subject.

—It's not that I don't appreciate your lessons and your visits Gemma, because I really do, but... why are you here?

—Just came to take a look, you know ... guys out of town, girls have to support each other. -She must have noticed in my expression that I had no idea what she was talking about, because cleared her throat and proceeded to explain herself. —You see? That's why you need your man under that roof. You have the right to full disclosure. You don't know where Jax is, right?

I shrugged.

—Making a spot for expensive underwear?

She smiled.

—Well, he could do it, doesn't he?

Oh my God. So disgusting.

—Jesus Christ, Gemma. He's your son.

—Yeah, he is. And right now he's in Nevada for club business. -Gemma told me, leaving her bag hanging from one of the chairs, because apparently, the visit was going to continue. —There were problems in Demian's visit and Jax decided to go straight to them.

Nevada... I savored the words, letting the bitter aftertaste take over me. The biggest and most insistent whores, eager to hunt down a good member of the club were there, but that was not the main reason why I was worried. Gemma had said that Demian had encountered difficulties... and if his trip was not calm, who knows what we could expect to happen when the president of the charter was involved in the race?

—He's taken Happy with him?Gemma nodded. -Well... that's a good thing. Only the three of them? They go under radar then. A friendly visit Probably short, isn't it? They should go back to the village in a day or two.

—Call him, baby. You'll be calmer and make his trip sweeter.

But I denied. Stubborn. Headstrong. Spiteful.

—The least he needs right now are distractions. He must be focused to solve whatever has happened. That's what he would want.

—Everything Jax wants for all the other stuff go well, it's you. Think about it. -Gemma retrieved her purse, gave me another brief hug and then, walked towards the door, making her heels resonate on the tile floor. Before leaving, she looked at me once more, smiling. —You know what? Maybe the only thing you both need to fix all this is to stop thinking only in you two.

I crossed my arms, and although I was afraid of the answer, I asked.

—What do you mean?

Gemma's smile was radiant.

—Let Jax knock you up. -and she put her index finger pointing towards my stomach. —A full belly strengthens a marriage. Trust me. Get pregnant.

My mother-in-law, delicate as a bazooka.

—Are you saying that seriously, Gemma? -It seemed incredible to me. Wasn't she the same one who told me, in a few words, to close my legs to Jax until I had "punished" him? Now she believed that the solution to all our problems was... a baby? Her facial expression said all the words. —My God, you are.

—I never joke when I am talking about my grandchildren. Think about it. And for God's sake, call my son. It's hard for a mother see how a grown man capable to do the things Jax does, whimpering around the corners for a woman who already belongs to him. -She opened her arms, kissed me on the forehead and then, walked away once more. —I'll see you soon baby-girl.

And after spitting her opinion, Gemma left without looking back.

I was left alone in the middle of the kitchen. Barefoot, wearing the navy blue T-shirt with the word SAMCRO engraved on the chest. I looked at my phone, which rested on the table, next to the cup that Gemma had used. I stretched my fingers ... but instead of the phone, I took the cup and took it to the sink. I started to wash it hard, trying to get rid of the nervousness inside me. I was worried. And nostalgic. I missed him, that was the truth, a truth too big to hide.

Would I be wasting precious time? A time that I would later regret having missed?

"Don't let me die. Don't let me die"

—Dammit!

The cup had broken and one of the pieces had cut my finger. The blood flowed, mixing with the water in the sink, falling in the form of thick drops. The feeling of anguish was choking me and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I need him. Badly.

—Jax... -I moaned, my heart clenched at the bottom of my chest.

I covered my bleeding hand and grabbed the phone firmly, dialed the number and waited... but he didn't answer.

Then, somehow, I knew. Something was going to happen. Something terrible.

The hell was opening under my feet.