"This is Alice."
"And Hal Cooper. Sorry we can't make it to the phone."
"Leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you!"

"Hey Allie. Alice. I left you a message a few days ago, about your dad. Don't know if you got it. It's FP. Give me a call back."

"FP again. Look, I really have to talk to you, Alice. It's about Rodger. This is important. Call me."

"Oh, and happy birthday, by the way."

"Did you really change your name to Cooper? I mean, do you want to be a walking, talking heavy metal joke? Alice Cooper. How'd I never put that one together?"

"Me again. Just answer. Or call me back."

"When I say I can just keep doing this, you know I'm not kidding. Answer the phone."

"He's your father. I know you two had your issues but you're really going to let things go like this? At least pick up the phone and tell him to go to hell or something."

"'This is Alice and Hal Cooper. Sorry we can't make it to the phone. Leave a message and we'll get back to you.' Jesus Christ, you guys can't know how sick I am of hearing that cheery bullshit. Don't worry, this is my last call. I can take a hint. I just didn't want to leave this all in a goddamn message. Your dad is dying, Allie. Dying. And fast. Doctors say it could be a four months or it could be four days. If you won't call me back, at least call him. You always had a mean streak, but I know you're not this heartless."

"Okay, that last message was out of line. Sorry. I know I said I wasn't calling again, but I guess I'm just holding out hope that you're going to change your mind. Take the high road, Allie, and just say good bye to him."

"Hey, Coop. How about you answer the phone, huh?"

Alice refused to remove the cordless phone from the bedroom, so Hal unplugged the base one day when she was at work. She must have noticed the little red light was off permanently, but she didn't say anything.

We can't let these invasive phone calls ruin our lives, but you can unplug the phone so at least I can sleep in peace. I'll pretend I hate when you try and take care of me if you pretend I don't ever need your help.

He loved his wife, but God did she like to make things difficult.

Once upon a time, he wanted to save her. This loud, crass Southside girl with the torn up jeans and the knotted band shirts and the Doc Martens. With the curly blonde hair that ran all the way down her back and the infectious laugh. The girl who scrunched up her nose whenever she was happy, who walked into every room like she owned the fucking place. Hell, would make you believe she did. Who carried around dime bags in one pocket of her worn leather and a roll of cash in the other.

He was so stupid back then, thinking a girl like her ever needed to be saved.

Alice Smith needed someone though. She needed her rock. Someone to listen to her problems, someone to pull her down when she got too ahead of herself, to make her see clarity when she was too caught in the moment. And God was Alice ever caught in the moment. Alice needed a hand on her shoulder. She needed someone to silently clean up her messes, fix her problems and say nil about it after. Sometimes that had meant dragging her out of a high school kegger before she could throw a punch (or throw up all over herself). Other times, that meant making a simple phone call.

Simple. As if anything involving Alice was ever simple.

She was still sleeping when he got home from work, finishing her last week on the overnight shift. The bedside lamp was on and an unopened baby book lay next to her. (Hal was already on his third and Alice had hardly cracked the first.) Carmel lay curled up against her stomach and he couldn't help but smile at his two girls together, finally getting along. The cat had begun clinging to Alice the past few weeks, as if she could detect the little life growing in her. Alice stuck up her nose at the cat's sudden change of behavior, but Hal had caught her on more than one occasion cuddling up to Carmel, returning the affection.

He considered leaning down to kiss his wife, but didn't want to chance waking her up. Instead, he clicked off the lamp and silently closed the door behind him, making his way to the answering machine in the kitchen.

The message today was short, sweet, and directed at him. FP Jones with his silver tongue, using that tone he always used when he was egging someone on. Hey, Coop. How about you answer the phone, huh?

Coop. Hadn't FP been the one to start that? Like he could just toss a nickname in the air and hope it'd stick.

The Riverdale number was still scrawled on the notepad next to the phone. Alice's neat print right above it in bold letters. DO NOT ANSWER. He rapped his fingers against the wall a few times before he dialed.

One ring. Two. "Hello?"

Hal hit down the receiver and redialed.

First ring this time. "Hello?"

He slammed the phone down again and tried to hold in his smile. He waited thirty seconds before calling back. First ring again. "What the hell –"

Phone down. He took a step back and waited. Ten seconds later, it rang. He picked up on the third ring.

"Cooper residence."

"What the fuck?" FP half laughed. He sounded tired, gruff. "That was annoying."

"Oh?" Hal asked. "I had no idea that'd be annoying."

Pause. "Long time no see, man. How've you been?"

"Fine. Great." Pause again. "You?"

"Fine, yeah. So I guess you guys have been getting my messages."

Hal had the cap of a pen in his mouth with little idea how it got there. He bit down on it hard before answering. "She doesn't want to talk to you."

"This isn't about me. This is about her dad."

"Well she really doesn't want to talk to him."

"Coop. Hal. This is stupid. The man's dying and she's going to let him go like that? She hasn't talked to him in how many years? Six? Seven?"

"No, it hasn't been that long." Hal started scribbling on the notepad, franticly making lines around the phone number he'd just dialed. "He called her the morning of our wedding actually." There was a sharp intake of breath from the line. "You still there?"

"Yeah, yeah," FP answered. "I didn't know that. How'd that go?"

Hal dropped the pen. The only part of the paper that wasn't colored in was the phone number. Long distance to Riverdale. "Well, it began with him pretending his invitation got lost in the mail and ended with him calling her a gold-digging cunt. So about how you'd expect."

FP sighed and Hal could almost see him rubbing his eyes. "Fucking Rodger, man. That's him alright."

"Everything he's done to her and you can really sit there and say 'That's him alright?'"

"People don't change. They just get old and frail and sickly and bitter. So either Alice says bye to him or she suffers the same fate. Alice is the queen of getting the last word in. Least I can do is give her that opportunity."

"Ah, so this is all to give Alice closure? How generous of you." He heard a noise from the other room and lowered his voice. "I didn't realize you were her therapist."

"Girl could use one, I'll tell you that much." There was a cough from the line. "How is she anyway?"

Hal stretched the cord to look down the hallway. Carmel was slowly strutting into the kitchen. "Pregnant. She's pregnant."

There was another long pause before FP let out a low, throaty laugh. "Jesus, Coop. Have you two ever heard of this little invention called condoms? They do miracles. Or prevent miracles, depending how you look at it."

"We're married. Married people tend to want babies, plan them. But thanks for the advice."

"Couple years too late for you to take it, but sure. Now did you guys actually plan this or was it another little oops after a night of too many drinks?"

Hal rolled his eyes. "Do you get it? She's in no condition to deal with this kind of stress right now. Her dad or not, she's better off without him."

"She saying this or you?"

"You think I could hide two months worth of messages from her? She doesn't want to say bye to him. She just wants this over with."

Hal jumped as Carmel brushed against his leg. He tried gently nudging her away with his foot, but she took it as a cue to cross between his legs.

"Okay, Coop. Keep your wife in the dark, up in that ivory tower. Treat her like a delicate little flower because she's pregnant again and unable to handle her life. I'm sure she loves that. Just make sure I get an invitation to your funeral."

"You don't send out invitations to funerals."

"I guess you're right. But you know what you do send out invitations for? Weddings." Hal cringed. "I guess mine got lost in the mail for yours, huh?"

"You think I had any part in planning that wedding? If Alice didn't want you there, you weren't coming."

"She's still pissed about some stupid shit I said in high school?"

Hal clenched his fist. He couldn't very well forget that night after graduation. FP and Alice screaming at each other at that party, airing dirty laundry for the whole school to hear. Alice's tears afterwards. Sitting in the car for hours until she calmed down. Hell, he was still pissed about it himself.

"Can you blame her?" he finally asked.

"I – hold on." He heard muffled voices before FP came back on the line. "I have to go. Just talk to your stubborn girl. Please. If anything, I guess I'll see you guys at Fred and Mary's wedding. Doubt Rodger will make it to June, but we'll see." He hung up without saying another word.

Hal hit his head lightly with the phone before putting it back down on the receiver. Carmel let out a small meow and he leaned down to pick her up.

"Who were you talking to?" came Alice's voice. Carmel let out another meow and he dropped her to the floor with a start. He spun around and watched as the cat ran to Alice.

She stood in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing a short silk robe. The one he brought her for Christmas last year. The one she always said made her feel sexy. The sash was knotted at the waist, bringing attention to her slowly growing baby bump.

"Hal," she said more firmly. "Who were you talking to?"

He entertained the idea of lying, but the truth came out of his mouth before he could think of a decent one. "FP."

Her eyes widened. Carmel let another meow and Alice bent down to pick her up before responding. "You answered the phone?"

"I called him," he answered carefully. "He left me a message."

"He's left a dozen messages." Alice held Carmel up to her chest and nuzzled her, an act he never would have seen a few months ago. "You called him back now?"

"Well, he left one directed at me."

She rolled her eyes. "'Coop, answer the phone.' God, you're easily swayed." She started scratching Carmel's chin. "Well, what'd he say?"

Hal shrugged. "Same stuff he's been saying. He thought you might want the last word." Alice looked up at him and raised her eyebrow. "Like… get the last word in before he dies."

"Do I really come off as that bitter?"

"He hasn't seen you in years. And it's not like you two left things on good terms. He doesn't know you anymore."

She tightened her lips and nodded. "I still don't see why you had to call him."

"He's been harassing us, clogging our machine." He walked to her and put his hands on her hips. "I can't have this stressing you out anymore. It's not good for you or the baby."

"I'm fine. The baby's fine. I'm not stressed. I'm not bitter. I am totally and completely fine."

"But –"

"No buts." She gave Carmel a kiss before placing her on the counter. Hal pulled her into a hug. "I am completely at peace."

"Are you?" he asked. She looked up and glared. "I'm serious, Alice. Are you?"

"Yes," she sighed, leaning her head against his chest. "You can't keep doing this, Hal. Stop treating me different. I know I look like a cow already, but I'm not a different person just because I'm pregnant."

He pulled her away slightly so her small stomach was just between them. "You're not a cow. You're just showing earlier because it's your second pregnancy. Your abdominal muscles are weakened and your uterus doesn't shrink back to its original size after your first pregnancy. Most women show at least a month sooner than they did with their first. And at sixteen weeks, you're just about –"

"Oh my God." She pulled away from him and buried her hands in her face. "Hal, if you tell me what fruit our baby is the size of right now, I might hit you."

He bit his lip. "I wasn't. Going to say anything about fruit."

Alice took her face out of her hands. "Really, Mr. Baby Book? I know you think you're an expert on pregnancy now, so enlighten me. I believe it was a lemon sized last week, so it must be a grapefruit now."

"Do you really think the baby grew that much in a week? She's only the size of an avocado right now. Grapefruit is week 22." She glared at him. "I was just going to say…" He trailed off, wondering if this conversation was worth it. Alice crossed her arms and looked at him. His heart started racing. "I was going to say this is around the time you went away before. I missed everything after this. I'm just… I'm excited this time."

"This time," she whispered, looking away. Carmel was still sitting on the counter a foot away, looking at them quizzically. Alice reached out to pet her.

"Come on." He approached her again and put his hands on her shoulders. "You know what I mean. I want to do this whole thing right, be there for everything. What I couldn't do for you last time."

"Last time," she whispered and closed her eyes. She gave a head a quick shake and popped her eyes back open. "Last time is the problem, okay? I just… I need to forget about last time."

"What do you mean forget?"

"We have to pretend to everyone else that this is our first kid. Hell, the girls at work are trying to convince me I'm having twins because I'm showing already. It's just… if we have to pretend with everyone else, why can't we pretend with each other?"

"Alice, between us is the only time we don't have to lie. Why would we pretend?"

"Like we don't do it already?" She shrugged her shoulders and he removed his hands from her. "You keep saying you want it to be a girl. Why? Because if we have a son it's going to feel too much like the one we gave away?" He opened his mouth to answer but she shushed him. "Don't deny it. I want a girl for the same reason. Because I don't want this baby to feel like a replacement."

"And she won't." He placed his hand on her stomach and she shook her head.

"Don't. Don't say she yet. We have four weeks until we find out the sex and you'll jinx it."

"Didn't your therapist say –"

"I don't give a fuck what my therapist said about closure," she snapped. "I know what I need closure to and it's not a baby stupid 17-year-old me handed over to some strangers." She sighed and fell into his chest again. "I think I need to see him, Hal. My dad."

He tensed as he ran his hand up her back. "Don't put this kind of pressure on yourself."

"Too late." She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled against him, just as Carmel was doing to her earlier. "And I think I should go alone."

"No. You're not taking the train by yourself all that way in your –"

"In my condition? I am fine. But you're right. I really don't want to take the train." She sighed. "You're not going with me to see him though. The man's tainted our relationship enough. I don't need him driving more of a wedge between us."

"I don't want him tainting this pregnancy. Upsetting you."

"Too late for that." She broke away, clutching her belly. "The day we find out I'm pregnant is the day we get that first call?" She shook her head. "Sometimes I think I need to just… go back for a while. To Riverdale. You ever get homesick for it?"

Hal pulled a face. "Not really, no." She clicked her teeth.

"Well, maybe I need a reminder of why it was so terrible." She pulled out a chair and took a seat at the kitchen table. "I don't know. It's not like we ever had plans to leave Boston, but I somehow always thought we'd end up back in Riverdale. Now I have this overwhelming need to just… to just be there. And I swear," she held up her finger as Hal's mouth opened, "if you're about to say something about nesting or some other stupid pregnancy buzzword, I will throw something at you. Just stop it."

He nodded shortly. "Understood. But it wouldn't hurt for you to read the books too."

She smiled curtly. "Why? I'm married to the leading expert in everything pregnancy related. Maybe you can carry the next one. Deal with the morning sickness and swollen feet and stretch marks."

"You're hormonal."

"Hal." She sighed and let her face fall into her hands. He slid the napkin dispenser sitting on the table away from her when she wasn't looking, less she tried throwing it. "Just call your parents. Tell them we're coming to visit. Might as well kill two birds with one stone and tell them I'm pregnant too." She looked up and folded her hands over her stomach. "They'll be thrilled. Another little mistake for them to hold over my head."

"Don't talk like that. They're going to be happy."

"I know, I know. But your mom is going to take one look at me and know this was an accident."

"Who cares? My sister and I aren't even two years apart. I'm sure I was an accident too."

"Oh, no." She stood up and put her hand on his face. "You were your mom's golden child. A gift from the gods. No way were you a mistake." She rubbed her palm against his cheek. "I'm going to start packing. Make sure you shave. Your mom is going to think I don't take care of you or something."

As she walked through the hall to their bedroom, he looked back at the scribbled notepad by the phone.

"Hey," he called to her. "Should you call FP and tell him you're coming?"

Her head slowly came back into view, peeking around the doorframe. "What does he have to do with this?"

"Well," Hal stammered, "I'm sure he's in contact with your dad. Helping him out. Why else would it be him calling?"

She started walking back towards him. "Exactly. You know what it means if he's still in contact with my dad, right?" Hal shrugged. "That means he still has ties with the Serpents. You think I want to be anywhere around that?"

"One doesn't necessarily mean the other."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Trust me, it does. Shame too, because last I talked to Mary she said he and Fred were starting some business or something. I'd hate for him to screw them over, but it's not my place to butt in anymore, now is it?"

He smirked. "Was it ever your place?"

"Absolutely." She clicked her teeth. "FP is still running around with a gang and, mark my words, it'll catch up with him. I don't need him to go see my dad. He'd probably just complicate things. People like him don't change."

"I feel like some quip about small towns breeding small people should be inserted here."

"We're small town, Hal," she said softly, staring him wide eyed. "No matter where you move, I don't think you get to stop being small town."

"We're different. We're not the people we were in high school."

Alice nodded slowly. "I'll pack our bags. Then back to Riverdale."

He picked up the phone and began dialing his parent's number. "To Riverdale."