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Chapter 3 : Heartbeat

Edward

The blood scent was too strong, every step brought with it a new wave of fear. What if I wasn't strong enough to stop the monster. I watched the blood pool around her head, dripping from the steering wheel. Each droplet sounded like a hammer being brought down on a hard surface. This was Bella. This was My Bella and I was standing here starring.

I would be strong for her. I would win against my urges and that monster that claims me.

My Bella.

With that thought I was instantly overcome with the need to save her, at all costs. Everything seemed to go quiet around me, all scents were lost. There was just a girl in front of me, a girl that meant more to me than life itself. I tore the battered seat belt from her body as I carefully twisted her from her seat, remember the time limit that was quickly escaping us. The fire. For the first time, I truly felt human. If I didn't get her out fast enough, if I was still in here when the truck exploded, my life would be claimed as well… not that I would mind. If I lost her now, I wouldn't survive it. For that, I was certain.

As I pulled her into my chest, covering my hands and clothes with her blood, It hit me just how much of it there actually was. I let my senses back, needing the extra hearing, needing some proof that her heart was still beating. The scent hit me, stronger than ever before, stronger than any scent has ever hit me but I couldn't focus on that. I needed to hear her heartbeat.

Thump thump… thump … thump

It was there but it was weak. I ran from the car, knowing at any moment it was going to blow. I saw the others simply walk backwards as I got closer. They would not be strong enough to withstand the scent. I could see the deliberation in Alice's mind as she willed herself to be strong enough to stay with me but just like the others, the risk was too high.

"Get her out of here Edward. Now." She shouted at me instead and so I did as told.

As I pushed my foot down on the accelerator, I watched the car in my mirror explode and the four surrounding vampires watch me leave before running after me. A safe distance. I didn't want to let go of Bella but I knew I had to if I had any hope of driving, and so when I had placed her in the seat I had taken hold of her hand harder than I ever would have done in the past. She needed to know I was here. I hoped that somehow she knew she wasn't alone.

It was barely moments before we reached the hospital. Carlisle and a team stood by the entrance waiting on my arrival.

The others called, how bad is she? His words echoed in my mind as he took in her appearance. I watched his eyes widen and my mind was flooded with the thoughts from everyone there.

There's no hope.

She wont survive that.

Is she even alive.

And then there was Carlisle. Son, if I cant save her, do we turn her?

I couldn't be mad for his suggestion. If I was honest, I had been wondering the same thing from the moment I saw Alice's vision of the wreck. Could I be that selfish, to doom her to this never ending existence just so I wouldn't have to lose her? Yes. The answer was simple. Yes, I was that selfish. I nodded a sharp nod at my father and he turned without another thought or look.

I had thought about it many times and every time I had managed to convince myself that I wouldn't do that. That I would be better than that. That she deserved better than this empty world that was full of so much guilt and pain. But when it came to it, the side of me that said it would be wrong to change her didn't stand a chance. I couldn't lose her.

I listened to every thought my father had about her condition, he was giving me a run down of all her symptoms and possible problems. I was thankful for this. As much as I hated hearing that my Bella was that broken, I was relieved that she was still breathing, for as long as his list and dialogue continued she would be alive.

I felt Alice's small hand grip mine then, I don't know what I would do without her. Annoying little pixie - yes, but I wouldn't change a thing about her.

"She's going to be ok Edward!" Her voice was low and for the first time in years I truly doubted her. That first night, when she had told me that I would love Bella - the night I realised that I wouldn't be alone forever, even if I didn't admit it to the others - I had denied it on the surface but I could already feel myself falling for the strange human girl who was so quiet to me.

"Have you seen it?" My words were thickly laced, hoarse even.

"No… but its Bella she has to survive." Her words were so quiet, as if she wasn't too sure of the truth in them either.

"Edward don't you get it?" Another voice, one that I wasn't sure I could deal with hearing from at this moment in time, echoed in my ear. Rosalie. I rolled my eyes.

"I guess not. Of course I have no idea what circumstances we're talking about." I was being snappy, I was aware of that but I wasn't sure if I wanted to even hear a single thought from someone who would take pleasure in the fall of my Bella.

Then the strangest thing happened. Rosalie took my other hand and started rubbing small circles into the back of it, just as I would to calm Bella down. I couldn't control my expression, I knew it was no longer blank and yet I couldn't seem to focus enough to change it.

"What are…" I begin.

"Listen Edward" She cut me off. "Its Bella, the human who shouldn't know about us and I know I haven't always supported you and her but it doesn't mean I want her hurt." And then for the first time in years, Rosalie dropped the shield on her thoughts that she had worked so hard to build from the moment of her transformation. I was used to little slips but nothing like this. Thought after thought came rushing into my mind. I could see clearly that these weren't new. Rosalie doing Bella's hair. Bella and Rosalie shopping… the list continued. Bella as one of us. Rosalie watching our wedding, at least how she saw it happening.

"All this time." I barely got the words out. The dry sobs begin to build but I didn't care. Rosalie actually cared for Bella.

"Its not easy for me, not like the others. I was worried at first" I raised my eyebrow out of habit, a small innocent smirk appeared on her features then. "Ok and a little jealous. But you knew that." And I did. That much she had let slip and all this time I thought it was mainly that. When she began again, it was a quiet whisper "I don't lose people well… I thought you would hurt her," she shrugged apologetically. "Or something would happen and I would have to say goodbye. I already lost my family and Vera…" Her words trailed off.

"You never mentioned them again" Alice's voice chimed in, small and laced with regret. The same regret I was feeling. We really didn't understand Rosalie at all. "I know I wasn't there but we've talked and you've never mentioned them."

"Its too hard." Was her short reply. I watched as she stilled her body, holding off the dry sobs that were trying to break free. We were all silent for a moment before she spoke again. "She WILL be fine Edward. She will survive this. Its Bella. Its you and Bella. Fate." She let out a small giggle. "If I couldn't stop fate, I hardly think a human accident can." She squeezed my hand then as we heard the others approach.

It wasn't often Jasper and Emmett came to the hospital. This was the one place that they were truly tested. In fact I wasn't sure if Jasper had ever been here. I couldn't focus enough to find a memory of Jasper here, my mind was occupied with everything happening in the operating room with Bella.

"Any news?" Emmett asked as he wrapped his large arm around Rosalie's shoulders. She shook her head. "She'll be fine babe" He whispered in her ear, almost too quiet for us to even hear. So he knew how she really felt. I couldn't believe how blind I had been this whole time. I had often wondered how someone like Emmett could care about someone like Rosalie, or at least who I thought Rosalie was but now I knew exactly how. Underneath it all she was just as sensitive, if not more so than the rest of us. She was so… broken.

"Did you talk to Carlisle about what if?" I could hear the fear in his question, he was scared about what I would say in return to that.

Please Edward, don't be mad at him. Alice begged from where she stood. I wasn't mad as I could read it from his mind. He was truly curious about the situation and didn't want to lose Bella either. He had been willing to argue with me if I had decided against changing her. Working on all his arguments for changing her and not caring if he would take all the blame for it, if I did change her and then decide later that I shouldn't have. He didn't care as long as she lived.

"Yes." I said simply. I was too shocked at my recent discovery about him and Rosalie to think about going into more detail. I felt as if my mind was working too slow, like I couldn't focus properly on anything. It reminded me of a human time, a time when I passed out from stress when I was first told of my mothers and fathers sickness that I knew neither would survive.

"Yes you have or yes your going to change her?" He spoke slowly, obviously trying to figure out the mix of emotions coming from me.

"Yes to both." Both Rosalie and Alice squeezed my hands. It was strangely comforting to know that I was surrounded with support.

"Thank God" Emmett said, and I couldn't help but let out a small huff of laughter.

They all truly wanted to keep her around and for that I would always be thankful to them.

EDWARD! She flat lining, DO NOT come in here! My father yelled in his mind as I heard her heartbeat begin to slow. I moved forward but as if the others had heard him just as clearly as I had, they all moved to hold me in place. Yet no ones eyes were on me. They were all on the door that shielded her from our vision.

"Come on Carlisle!" Jasper almost yelled as I made another attempt for the door, I felt their hands tighten around me, Rosalie and Alice moved from my hands as the switched positions. Alice now in front of me, was pushing me backwards, while Rosalie now behind me, was yanking me towards her.

I watched my Bella as the last beat of her heart racked through her stilled chest. My whole world went with that beat, my strength seemed to evaporate and with that the darkness filled my vision.


Oops! Dont hate me! haha! Its no where near over...

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