ASIAN PERSON (grinning)
Go ahead, Jeff! The moment all of you stepped into the study room the bombs I set at Greendale activated. If you leave thousands of students will die in one big firestorm and Greendale will burn to the ground. But don't worry; the bombs will be deactivated after two hours if everybody stays with me. In the meantime, you should all have a seat and have a nice talk with your new friend Wally.
The Asian Person puts a digital clock on the table that counts backwards.
BRITTA
What's that?
SHIRLEY
Oh, I have a bad feeling about this.
ASIAN PERSON
Relax! That's just a clock. It shows how long you have to stay in the study room before the bombs deactivate.
PIERCE
You are a total lunatic! You are worse than Chang!
TROY
Why are you doing this?
JEFF
Guys, don't take him seriously. He's trying to scare us.
ASIAN PERSON
You want to leave? That's fine by me. I don't care about the people at Greendale, anyway. It's about time that somebody blows that poor excuse of a community college up.
Annie sits down on her chair.
JEFF
Annie, you actually don't believe him, do you?
ANNIE (angry)
I'm not taking the risk, okay?
Shirley, Britta, Troy and Abed join Annie.
JEFF
Oh, come on, guys!
BRITTA (to the Asian Person)
It's just for two hours, right?
ASIAN PERSON
Right.
JEFF
This guy is a jerk! Don't you see it? He's making a fool out of us!
BRITTA
No, I don't. And I'm sure every one of us doesn't. But I know for sure, if people's lives are at stake, I will be damn cautious.
ANNIE
I don't want people getting hurt because of me.
JEFF
Alright, I get it! You are all idiots! With the exception of Pierce.
PIERCE
Sorry, Jeff, you are on your own.
Pierce takes his seat next to Troy giving the Asian person a poisonous look.
PIERCE
You better be sure what you are doing. If you are making it up I'm going to hunt you down and gut you like a fish.
TROY
And I'm going to help you. With the hunting, I mean. Not with the gutting. Because that's something only a mad man would do. And I'm not a mad man.
ASIAN PERSON
Deal!
JEFF
I'm out of here.
Jeff turns his back on his friends. He is about to make a step outside the study room when suddenly:
ASIAN PERSON
If you leave the study room it will make BOOM!
Jeff hesitates. Everyone is staring at him while he tries to make up his mind.
ASIAN PERSON
Think about the people. Think about the kids who just started their lives away from home. You are robbing them the chance to find out who they really are. You're robbing them to experience the joy of life.
ANNIE
Jeff!
SHIRLEY
Get your ass back here and sit down, for Chrissake!
BRITTA
If you leave this room, I swear, that I will… break your legs!
ASIAN PERSON
Listen to your friends, Jeffrey.
JEFF
Alright!
Jeff turns around and sits down.
JEFF
Are you happy now?
ASIAN PERSON
Yes, I'm very happy right now. I tell you guys are secret. There are weight sensors on your chairs. The moment all of you sat down, the bombs activated for real. Now you guys really have to spend the next two hours with me.
JEFF
You son of a bitch!
Jeff attempts to go for the Asian person's throat. But he freezes when all of the sudden a beeping noise comes out of his chair.
ASIAN PERSON
Careful, Jeff. If anybody of you stays away from your chairs for more than ten seconds it will make BOOM! One… Two… Three… Four…
ANNIE
Jeff, sit down!
ASIAN PERSON
Five…
SHIRLEY
Oh my God! Oh my God! It's a nightmare!
ASIAN PERSON
Six…
BRITTA + TROY
Jeff!
ASIAN PERSON
Seven…
ABED
That reminds me of…
PIERCE
Oh, please, shout your mouth!
ASIAN PERSON
Eight…
When Jeff finally sits down the beeping noise stops. Everyone sighed in relief.
ASIAN PERSON
Good boy, Jeff. Now, let's start class. Let's find out who was responsible for the massacre on Harper Island?