Second Rule
No excessive amount of money should be spent on a booty call. In fact, you shouldn't really be spending money on them at all. If you have to spend it, it should be no more than the equivalent of three drinks and a slice of pizza after the night out. This means no more than $35 ($55 if you are in New York). However, spare no expense if an emergency cab ride to get out of their home and safely back to yours is necessary.
Warning: Watch your spending habits. Watch your wallet. (Literally and figuratively.) Like anything in life, the more you invest in it, the more it is worth to you.
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"Alright!" I cheered pulling into a small shop down in Forks with it's lights still on. It had little wind chimes and colourful light catchers hanging in the windows indicating it was some kind a hippie shop. Surely I would find something in here that I could palm off to Leah. Pulling the paper from my wallet and counting the notes, I re-read the second rule.
Thirty-five dollars was still pretty steep to me – I earnt fuck-all an hour at the garage and thirty-five dollars was the equivalent of two oil changes and an air filter exchange in terms of labour. I frowned at myself, no wonder Embry called me a cheap ass constantly.
Getting out of the Rabbit and wondering into the shop, I was hit with a potent smell of lychee and cherries, distinguishable by smoke. Someone was burning essence in this joint and it was tickling the hairs on the inside of my nose. Man, it was strong.
"Hello young man," a crazy voice drawled, revealing an even crazier looking old woman with grey hair pinned to her head who wearing some kind of cloak. Ha. It kind of reminded me of 'Joseph and his Techni-coloured Dream Coat'. Long story and even longer and boring religious studies. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah. I'm looking for a gift," I murmured scanning my eyes around the shop, willing something to pop out at me that screamed 'I like your body, so let's fuck'.
"For a lady friend I take it," she mused giving me something that may have resembled bedroom eyes. Fuck lady, you're old enough to be my grandmother twice over.
"Yep. Hopefully by the end of the night anyway," I smiled back, trying not to let the disgust for her antics show on my face.
"Ahh – I see – come with me," she motioned with her bangled wrist, disappearing behind the curtain. I hoped to God she wasn't leading me to my sexually repressed death.
Following her behind the curtain, she stood at a thin wooden stool, laying a box out onto it. It was carved with tiny little painted flowers over it and the red mahogany was actually quite stunning. "This my boy, is definitely what you are looking for." She whispered, lifting the lid on the wooden box.
I stepped closer to peer in the box and was pretty impressed. In the box sat a leather wrapped bracelet with tiny dark blue beads hanging from the intertwined strings. The leather was black and contrasted beautifully against the beaded designs. It was definitely Leah.
"How much?" I breathed, stepping yet again closer, wanting to hold the bracelet in my hands.
"One hundred and thirty, though when love is on the line, who can put such a price on beauty?"
"Far out, anyone would think it was made of gold," I grumbled.
Before I had time to reach for the bracelet the old woman snapped the box shut almost taking the tips of my fingers with it. Crazy bitch.
"It is worth much more than gold," she snapped at me, obviously taking offence to my words. "These beads were made from the stone of Mount Olympus, carved from the very same stone that slaves bore on their backs. I am only willing to sell you such a priceless gift for one reason and one reason alone."
"And that would be?" I asked raising an eyebrow and looking over the woman.
"You are a very handsome boy, perhaps you have a single father?" she smiled, wiggling her eyebrows. Eww. Fuck. that. There was no way in hell my father was ever going to touch that. My mother was beautiful and prefect unlike this weird ass old lady.
"Uh sure. Drop the price and you get his cell number." I was confident that she would never ever contact my Dad, especially when I was going to give her Embry's number. Embry would probably be pissed at me, but as if he would ever find out.
"Of course, one ten?"
"Bullshit. Fifty. My dad is one hot old guy, Chief of the tribe, wears a loin cloth and runs around the reservation like Tarzan" Yeah, I was totally talking out my ass but I really needed that bracelet otherwise I was going to be bound to a tree and whipped by Leah. Unfortunately Jacob Jnr. was very interested in this prospect but I wasn't.
"Impossible. Eighty five," she growled, shaking her head in a very displeased manner.
"Sixty five and I'll put in a good word for you."
"Seventy and you'll do all that and tell me his name." She smirked, opening the box again, letting my eyes search over the precious gift again.
"Deal." I said quickly, pushing my hand out at her, only to have her old hand wrap around mine, her wolverine type nails digging into my skin.
That's what Logan must look like after 'Glamour Barbie' had attacked his ass. No wait – it was Quil. Claire would definitely own some freaky coloured nail polish and rape his paws while in wolf form with 'barely blush' or 'blue lagoon' polish.
Heading out of the small shop to my Rabbit, my back pocket feeling a little lighter aka my wallet was now drained, I felt good about the chance of getting my balls rubbed tonight. Shit, just thinking about her little hands on me made my raging hard on return. If I didn't get relief soon, I was going to end up with a serious case of blue balls.
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Walking down the trail to the beach, I slipped my hand in my pocket, holding tight to the gift I had gotten. I had scolded myself for going over the limit but in all honesty, Leah kinda deserved something nice. The last time she'd been brought anything was her birthday, which I had inadvertently forgotten and her dimwit brother had brought her a pot plant with a flower in it.
Seth had once again made me look like the ultimate jerk. I mean the kid was just always being a suck. I bet he had all our birthdays in a secret calendar and planned each gift in advance. He told her that she was like a flower, that if she was looked after and showered with love, she was going to grow more and more beautiful everyday. It seemed totally gay at the time, but he still made me look like a douche.
Once she'd thanked Seth, she glanced over at me with my empty hands and just about cried. Not that she ever would, in front of us anyway. She just glared at me and told me I was a 'cock-sucking prick who should so suck his leechy girlfriends twat'. See what I mean people. Crazy.
Nearing the bonfire I groaned as Quil bounced over to me happily, telling me about how Claire's parents were going away for a week to New Jersey and they were letting his Grandma and Old Quil look after her, meaning more time with his imprint and more 'Polly Pocket' playtime.
All I could hear buzzing in my ears was Quil's incandescent whining as I looked over the people gathered. Sam and Emily were sitting on a log, an arm tightly wrapped around each other's waists, while Sam's hand reached around all the way to her stomach, holding her possessively. Shit - if they hadn't already announced it, Leah would fucking know now.
I looked around for her, noticing Rachel and Paul making out on a log opposite Sam and Emily. Totally disturbing, especially since I could see Paul's tongue fucking my sister's mouth and his hand was creeping up her thigh. I wondered if Dad brought that Tranq gun, and hoped if he did, he could fire it at Paul's dick so he could never have mini Paul's running around the Rez. Especially with my sister. Gross.
Sue, Billy, Jared and Kim were all talking intently but they soon left my line of sight when I heard Leah's light laughter. My head almost snapped the instant my shifter ears picked up her happiness. It was gentle and genuine as it rose over the fire and rang in my ears.
Though my brows furrowed when I saw the shit-for-brains sitting next to her. Xavier Barnes, bitch ass sell out, was sitting next to Leah, his arm wrapped around her shoulder's, his head titled toward her ear, obviously whispering something that I should be whispering taking from her blush.
Was she really that stupid to fall for this guys shit? I didn't slap other girls asses when we went to the diner and had breakfast on a Saturday morning after running patrols all night, I didn't ignore her for other girls and make out in front of her with some Forks slut. I had even bought her a gift, yet there she was believing all the verbal diarrhoea coming out of this jack asses mouth.
"Jake, why are you growling?" Quil whimpered, stepping back some, noticing my body start to shake. "Dude calm down, there are outsider's here." He whispered harshly, grabbing me by the elbow to distract me from whatever was pissing me off.
"Get off me!" I snarled, baring my teeth at one of my best friends making him step back. I hadn't meant to scare him, but I was pissed. Beyond pissed. I was fucking livid.
Stalking over to the two, I stood in front of them, glaring darkly at the fuck face putting his hands on my Leah.
"Oi motherfucker," I spat, making his attention flick to me and raise his head. Leah soon followed suit looking at me with wide eyes taking in my current state.
"Jake what are you-"
Before Leah finished her sentence, I punched Xavier square in the face, smiling to myself as I watched him slip off the log and onto the sand landing heavily on his back.
"What the hell, Black?" Leah hissed, rushing over and kneeling by Xavier to see if he was okay. Slapping his face a couple of times it soon became apparent that I'd knocked him out with one punch.
Pussy.
"He's out-fucking-cold, Jake," she panicked, placing the back of her hand against his face to try and feel for his breath to make sure I hadn't killed the guy.
"So? He fucking deserved it. The guys a fucken moron, and if you're stupid enough to fall for him, I wish you luck with that."
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I turned to stomp off like a five year old before I felt the cool beads touch the tips of my fingers. "Oh and before I forget," I said pulling out the bracelet and throwing it into the sand at her feet. "Happy be-lated birthday."
With that I left them all at the beach and took off in the Rabbit. If Leah didn't want me, then I could care less. She was a bitch anyways. And she wasn't even that sexy. Okay fine. She was goddamn perfect. But that didn't help my cause any. I needed a plan. Wait – scratch that – I needed a better plan.