A Tale of Snowdrops

by saiyuri-dahlia

'For the Tribe'. That is the motto Touya and his people have always lived by. You live only for the benefit of the tribe, nothing else. Touya never knew of any other existence...until the discovery of another tribe. And then, there was Jin… AU Yaoi.

3. Chapter 3

Story Title: A Tale of Snowdrops

Disclaimer: YYH or Jin and Touya are not mine still.

Big thanks go out to yue-chan and scarf for reviewing.

It wasn't in the original plan of this chapter but Hyou gets some comeuppance but even that means nothing good for Touya. And it didn't take a year for an update. I'm sure there's something positive in that sentence…

After this, one chapter left. Thanks for reading.

-o-

Day Three: In Which Jin Plays in the Snow and Touya Must Make A Decision

-o-

Touya hoped this would be the last of Hyou's orders. This morning's demands had already included dressing him, bringing the fragrant water for his washing basin, washing his face, combing his hair and securing it into a topknot, and now delivering his breakfast. For some reason, though Touya thought of one and feared it, Hyou had decided to refuse the services of any other servant but his personal attendant, Touya.

And his cousin was shooting off commands at him as quickly as deer fled at the first sound of danger. Due to tending to all of Hyou's wants and needs, Touya had yet to complete any of his daily chores or even properly dress and present himself. He prayed for the mercy of his ancestors to not topple his uncle's errands on his already heavy shoulders this morning.

He tried not to look down at Hyou's breakfast tray but the wafting smell of it reached him anyway and his stomach gurgled and grumbled in protest to giving away so much food. It didn't seem fair, having to give this to Hyou while hungry since he had not been given any time to have his meager breakfast, but everything in Touya's life was unfair. So much so he couldn't categorize his life between fair and unfair—it simply was. And it was usually against his favor.

As he entered Hyou's room, Touya felt his laxly-tied obi slip as he stepped on the bottom of his kimono. He stumbled forward, the contents of Hyou's breakfast tray sliding about, as his robes opened and he struggled to regain his balance and not crash into Hyou. By some miracle, he managed to do just that and without a single item spilt.

"Watch it, chore boy!" Hyou irately ordered. "Do you want to burn me? Or do you just want to ruin my robes and my meal?"

Touya was quick with apologies, "Pardon me, cousin, I didn't mean—"

"Look at you," Hyou said in a disgusted manner as he peered contemptuously at an embarrassed Touya, the left side of his kimono having fallen, exposing his slim shoulders and chest. "How dare you appear before your superior in such a manner… Fix yourself."

"Yes, Hyou," Touya muttered.

Hyou narrowed his eyes in a reprimanding manner.

"…Yes, young master," Touya amended.

Touya set the tray down on its stand, fixed his kimono, and kneeled aside and waited for Hyou's dismissal. And waited. And waited. It was soon clear to him that he was not about to be dismissed. Hyou still had plans for him and in the meantime, he would force Touya to stand by as he ate his breakfast and Touya went without. Both knew what would happen, that Touya's meager portion would be tossed out and he would later be punished for wasting food. Hyou delighted in the prospect. Touya dreaded it.

When he was finally done, Hyou ordered Touya to take his tray away. And he did so, wishing it was a true dismissal and not a partial one. By Hyou's tone and wording, he was expected to return to Hyou's room and wait new orders after he returned the tray.

Jin is waiting for me. I know he is, Touya thought as he headed back from the kitchen. He is expecting me to appear any moment, and if not now, then this moment, or the next. Except I keep not showing up and I cannot. Not for a while. Not until I finish all of my chores. And Hyou stops ordering me for everything. I hope Jin does not become discouraged. I wish that he does not decide to search for me.

He returned to Hyou's room to find his cousin smirking and holding up a nail cleaning pick in between his toes. His drooping shoulders falling a little more, Touya sighed and lowered himself before Hyou's feet.

Jin… Please wait for me. Please be patient.

-o-

They should have decided on a meeting place, Jin now realized, so he would know where to be when Touya showed up. Because without a set place, Jin kept wandering around, flying from his place, to meetinghouses, to the pathway to the forest, and down the line that separated the village for the Spring and Winter tribes, looking and waiting for Touya.

It was past breakfast already and he still had not shown up. Jin asked passing people from his tribe (because he would never get an answer from any of Touya's) if they had seen Touya come by but no one had. And with every apologetic no, Jin sighed, nodded and gave thanks and then flew off to the next spot in his cycle to wait and see if Touya would be there.

Trying to stay patient, trying to not fly off and get Touya like Touya didn't want him to do, Jin sat down on the veranda outside his room and waited. He sat cross-legged, holding his ankles, and started rocking from side to side. Jin wasn't very patient—it went against his nature—and he never really could sit still for very long but he tried because Touya had asked him to.

Jin really wanted to go get Touya.

But he didn't. He told himself that he would be here any moment. If not this one, then this one or next. Point was that he would be here, he promised he would, and all Jin had to do was wait a little bit longer, pass the time, and Touya would be here. His rocking gained the glances of many walking by, but seeing it was Jin, his tribe thought nothing odd about his behavior.

He rocked and rocked until his momentum grew too strong and he fell over onto his side. He decided not to get up immediately and rested on his side. With every day, the temperature was warmer but it was still pretty chilly in the morning. It wouldn't be long until Jin needed to get moving or step inside for a bit of heat. But he hoped Touya would be here before that was needed.

Jin waited and waited. He saw not a pale blue hair around him.

"Jin, why ya layin' here? Come play," Shii said, tugging on his arm and forcing him to sit up.

"Yea, Jin, come play with us," Wara echoed.

"Sorry, but ol' Jin has ta wait for someone," Jin said as he ruffled Shii's hair. "Promised that I would and he promised he would come, so I'm gonna wait."

Her eyes and smile brightening, Magi considerably sweetened, "I bet you're waitin' for Touya, aren't ya?"

Jin grinned.

Shii groaned and covered his ears, "Ah, don't get her started! Magi hasn't shut up 'bout him yet. Thinks they're destined, 'er somethin'…"

"I wish you'd shut up!" Magi shouted back.

"He doesn't know ya exist, Magi," Wara said. "An' his face's still girly."

"Both a' ya jump in the lake, why don't cha?" Magi shouted. She then crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "Boys, ya know nothin' about love."

Jin laughed, "Ah, they know about as much as you, my love-struck lass."

A flush of what either was indignation or embarrassment (or a little of both) rose across Magi's face as she grew flustered and turned away.

"Really think he's your one an' only?" Jin said. "Bit old for ya, don't ya think?"

"That doesn't matter. Nevah does when it be true love."

"Aye, aye, you're right, lil' one. Give ya that, I will," Jin said through a partial laugh. "But if it be true love for ya an' Touya, don't ya think fate would put it so you're always together an' wouldn't he want ta be tryin' ta meet with ya right now."

"Well… He just doesn't know we're meant yet." Both Shii and Wara groaned and smacked their palms against their faces.

"But if it were true love, he would already, wouldn't he? Ya already met, after all."

Magi rolled her eyes. "Like you know anythin' 'bout love, Jin. No lass'll take your hand, other than ta dance with."

"So that be so?" Jin said, playing along. "Now where did ya hear a thing like that?"

"Be what all the girls say. Notta one wants ta be your one an' only."

"Ah, that be fine with me," Jin said, waving his hand. "No loss either way."

"Yea, Jin's great wit'out one," Shii said. "Girls are crazy!"

"An' Magi's livin' proof," Wara added.

Magi swung at Wara first and then her brother. Both boys missed her fist and ran off quickly with the fuming, yelling girl racing after them. Jin shook his head and laughed to himself. It was nice seeing little Magi acting more like herself. He made a note, though, to have Touya talk to her, to finish what he had started in letting her down.

Hafta get here first, he does. Jin laid his head into his hands and sighed. Hope he gets here soon.

Jin waited and waited. He was doing so well at sitting so still and being very patient for once that a few of his fellow tribe members, considering a very still and calm Jin to be a cause for concern, came over to ask him if he was feeling all right, if anything bothered him, or if he needed to see the medicine woman. And every time Jin reassured them that he was fine, that he was just waiting. Garnering a couple of confused stares but deciding to take his word for it, eventually his tribe mates eased off on him.

Head still in his hands, Jin started to nod off when his ears started twitching. He snapped awake and surveyed wildly about for the source of the coming noise.

"I been waitin' for ya," Jin shouted from the near end of the street as Touya came running. "For a real long time. Almost went lookin' for ya, I did."

Touya slid in the white ash to a stop and stood panting, his face pink from exertion. "Sorry, I am late," he said. "An issue came up that I could not slip by."

"That's okay," Jin said. "You're here now an' that's what matters. Let's have fun, right?"

Touya offered a tiny smile back, which quickly disappeared into his deepening blush as his stomach rumbled and roared.

Jin laughed through his grin. "Little late for breakfast but Miyo'll fix that. Come now."

And Miyo did. From the moment Jin poked his head into the kitchen doorway and asked if there was anything for Touya, Miyo pulled Touya in by the wrist, muttering aloud that his wrist was much too bony, sat him down at a round table, and hurried off to gather plates, baskets, and bowls. Jin quickly joined him at the table.

Miyo laid a spread out on the table that could feed four and piled on all she could on a plate for him, much to a shy, blushing Touya's embarrassment and his quiet voice noting his 'appreciation for the gesture but there was quite enough already there for him' that Miyo dismissed.

"Ah, nevah be too much, sweet boy. Food makes ya big, makes ya strong," Miyo set the full plate in front of Touya and gave him a quick once-over. "An' by the looks, ya could use a little a' both."

"But Toy's strong!" Jin said. "Real strong. I felt his power before."

Miyo shook her head in a disagreement, as she ladled out a portion of this morning's stew into a big bowl. "All that sparkle an' show be good for nothin' if the body's not well enough ta give it." She looked back on Touya. "Ah, come now, dearie. Ya hafta take bigger bites that that."

Uncertain of what else to do, Touya apologized, claiming it was habit. He was used to making his meals last for much longer than their portion size would allow.

Setting his stew by his plate, Miyo patted Touya's shoulder reassuringly. "Be all right then now. Habit's habit," she said, smiling down at him, before she swiftly spooned a mound of food into his mouth. "Now that's a proper bite, me lad."

Miyo walked off, leaving Touya to struggle a bit on the verge of choking before he finally managed to swallow her bite. Touya paused to catch his breath.

Jin leaned toward Touya, "Okay there?"

"Yes," Touya said. "It was just more than I expected. All of this is. Are you sure this is acceptable? I am not causing any issue here, am I?"

"Ah, not at all," Jin shook his head. "Don't worry 'bout us, Toy. We got plenty. Things are gettin' better, easier ta find. Eat as much as ya want. Anythin' ya don't be preserved an' anythin' that can't will get eaten."

"There is still so much here…"

"Told ya not ta worry, Toy," Jin said, grinning. "I'll help ya. Be about time fer me second breakfast anyway."

As soon as Jin put a hand on a hardboiled egg, Miyo paddled it with a wooden spoon. "Stop it! Stop it!" she scolded him. "Eatin' already, I know ya have. Now shut your greedy mouth f0r a while an' let the poor dearie eat."

"But I'm hungry too!" Jin pouted, sucking on his reddened hand.

Miyo flattened her stare, "You're always hungry, Jin. Gnaw on your own hand, ya would."

"Please, madam," Touya interceded, "there is plenty enough for the two of us."

After a moment or two of hard deliberation, she conceded. "All right," Miyo said. She then fixed a sharp stare on Jin and pointed her wooden spoon at him. "Just make sure he eats more."

Miyo left them alone to check on the small crew cleaning and scrubbing plates and pots—most of the Spring Tribe tended to be big eaters, which resulted in a lot of dishes—and Jin made sure his friend ate as much as he.

Touya was smaller in stature and build, yes, but Jin didn't see it as a particular cause for concern and correction like Miyo seemed to. Jin just figured it was normal for the Winter Tribe. After what Touya had said about his tribe yesterday and Jin did a little of putting two and two together, it was logical that the Winter Tribe would be smaller. Touya was thin, yes, but he wasn't sickly-looking. Jin had held him up in the sky before and he knew he wasn't all bone under his kimono's padding. In fact, given what knew and could plainly see, Jin thought Touya was…

Pretty.

Jin wasn't certain if he could call him handsome, as Touya's features didn't fit the definition of manly but Jin without a doubt believed Touya was pretty and in fact, he thought he was very beautiful. Not that Touya probably thought he was. Jin had a feeling he didn't know he was, not that his tribe would ever let him know.

As soon as Jin found a moment, he swore he would let Touya know how beautiful he was.

They ate and ate until Touya felt he was full and then Jin made him eat a little more and so did Miyo when she returned. By the end of their urgings, Touya looked quite ready to pop. Didn't stop Miyo from trying to offer him more, however. After much pleading, assertions, and polite declining, Touya and Jin headed out of the kitchen. Well, mostly Touya wanted to. Jin was still kind of hungry. Touya hated leaving a mess, though, and offered to help clean up but Miyo assured it was nothing she couldn't quickly clear. She also invited Touya to lunch, which she and her two assistants were already working on.

Jin walked with Touya through the streets with no discernible destination in mind yet. Truthfully, he hadn't really planned on what they would do today, being much too focused on seeing Touya when he got here, but he had figured he'd let the wind take them wherever and see what sort of fun they could get themselves into.

He looked over and saw Touya holding and staring at his stomach. "I do not believe I will ever eat again," he said.

"Wasn't that bad, now was it?"

"No, it was all very good. I am just not used to having so much," Touya said. "I feel as if I would never be hungry again, like in the mists."

"Well, that be great," Jin said. "But if ya ever find yourself hungry again, Miyo would be happy ta feed ya."

"She is a generous woman."

"Closest thing I ever had to a real mam," Jin said and, when he saw Touya looking at him, interest in his eyes, he continued. "Me mam died in childbirth. An' me father, story goes, believed he saw me mam in mists, heard her callin' for him an' walked back into them before it was time for us ta go an' nevah came back. Ev'rybody's searched the mists when we travel through but nobody's seen 'em."

"It has always been advised that we do not approach the mists until it is time for us to depart. There appears to be some truth to the warning."

"Ah, yea, nobody does it. Won't even joke about doin' it. Lads an' lassies goin' in an' not comin' out, nobody finds that funny," Jin said. "So what 'bout your parents, Toy?"

"They are dead."

"Oh…" Jin said, his smile fading, halting his steps in the middle of the street. "Ah, sorry, Toy. Didn't mean ta bring anythin' up that…"

"No harm done," Touya said, offering Jin a small, reassuring smile. "They died when I was a baby and I have grieved for them already."

"Ah, well, um…still didn't mean—"

"Jin!" Little Shii called as he, Magi, and Wara came running and slid to a stop in front of him. "We're all goin' by the lake ta play an' we want ya ta play too."

"That an' our mams won't let us get near the lake without somebody watchin'," Wara added.

"So will ya come?" Shii asked.

Three bright, hopeful face beamed up at Jin and plead with him to say yes and really, what sort of big brother-figure would he be if he said no? That and Jin had a few ideas of fun they could have at the lake, well, more correctly, the large pond but none of the kids really wanted to argue over semantics.

"All right, all right," Jin said. "Be just the three a' ya, 'er be it ev'ryone."

"Ev'ryone," Wara and Shii answered together.

"Let's go then."

"Come too, Touya," Magi said and took his hand.

Even bettah, Jin thought as Shii and Wara challenged him to a race to the lake. Why I didn't think ta introduce Toy ta the little ones, I don't know. After all, I was showin' Toy me tribe yesterday. Be crazy a' me, it would, ta leave out a big part a' it. Not like I could hide them all from him, hahaha.

-o-

Touya stopped trying to count the Spring children when he reached the twenties and even then he wasn't so sure on the number. There were just so many of them and none of them could really sit for long. They were all constantly moving, chasing, and rolling with one another about, making it near impossible to get a true head count.

"All right, lil' birds, pay attention!" Jin called.

And to Touya's amazement, all the Spring children stopped where they were, sat, and listened. Not that they sat completely still, there was still some rocking, bouncing, ear wiggling, and heads swaying to imaginary music, but in comparison to moments before, the difference was pretty distinct.

Jin gave out the lake rules—mostly boiling down to 'don't get in the water 'cause it's too cold' and 'don't do anything that'll get us both in trouble' as Touya watched the children's faces. They really respected Jin. There was no doubt about that. If they would listen to no one else, they would listen to Jin. They would follow him, out of respect, out of admiration, out of affection. Touya thought of Hyou, how the children obeyed him out of fear, and how his uncle used the same tactics to control the tribe and persuade the other elders to his will.

The final rule given, the children stood up, eager to run off and play. Jin asked if there were any questions. Shii raised his hand. Jin gave him the go-ahead nod to ask.

"Bramble!" was all Shii shouted as all the kids rushed and pounced on Jin. Touya stepped back, confused, and watched in wonder as Jin disappeared under the giggling blanket of Spring children. And then, Jin rose, kids hanging onto him everywhere—on his arms, legs, back, and chest, even one perched on his head. And the ones not on him held onto brothers, sisters, onto anyone and anyhow they could.

"Ah, think all ya can overpower ol' Jin, can ya?" Jin said, grinning as he lifted the kids on his arms higher. "Try ya might, ya lil' bug-eaters, but it's nevah gonna happen."

Touya covered a hand over his small smile as Jin pretended to be a monster and stomped and roared for the kids as they tried to slow him and bring him down. Jin was good with the kids. Touya wasn't sure if it was partly because he was so much like them or if it had to do with their mutual respect or if it was something else entirely. He enjoyed watching Jin play with the kids, seeing their bright, smiling faces, and hearing them laugh. And Jin was equally as happy as the children. They brought a cheer to Jin, and yes, while Jin was typically always happy, the joy they brought to Jin was something altogether new. And sweet.

In time, Jin set the kids down and told them it was time they ran off and played. Most agreed, some wanting the bramble game to continue groaned, but one by one the kids pulled off from Jin and started chasing one another or ran off to climb trees, or whatever came to mind first.

Jin looked at Touya. "Crazy lil' rats, but they're all good kids."

"You are really good with them," Touya said.

"Their big brother, I am," Jin said. "Don't have no real family anymore but they'll do for me. Makes me a part a' their family as much as they be ta mine."

Touya considered the meaning of family and thought of his own tribe until Jin broke his focus by calling to him, referring to him by his new nickname of 'Toy'. Touya wasn't certain if he liked the sudden familiarity Jin was showing to him by use of the shortened name. He didn't know if it was that he didn't feel as close to Jin as Jin felt to him or if it was that he was hesitant to accept and enjoy the new level of familiarity out of fear of his tribe learning how close the pair of them were. In the end, Touya said nothing about his new name, unable to think of something that wouldn't ultimately hurt Jin's feelings.

Jin leaned over and whispered in Touya's ear. He could certainly do the ice manipulation Jin requested but there was the stress of his uncle's voice as his consciousness reminding him of what a waste of energy it would be. And while he had done things before that squandered energy, it would take much more energy to do what Jin wanted than it took to make snowflakes. His uncle's voice made a fairly valid argument but Jin's big, hopeful, and slightly pleading eyes carried a stronger persuasion.

Touya stood by the edge of the large pond and brought his energy to the surface as he sensed the moisture around him. Reaching his energy into the water as if he was dipping his hand, Touya captured as much water as he could and pulled it to the surface, carefully freezing it into the right shape and without leaving any sharp surfaces. From there, he jettisoned his power and froze the pond's surface. Jin's last request had Touya pouring his energy into the sky to make a small snow flurry fall to build up the snow around them.

Whether by sensing or simply seeing the pale green light of his energy, the kids paused in their play and stood around watching him. Even the ones who had gone out into the surrounding woods came out and stared. Touya was only vaguely aware of the audience, his focus more importantly placed on his energy and ice technique. He heard the kids' little gasps and awes and he could feel Jin smiling at him, like a ray of warm sunlight at his side.

A fair enough snowfall built, Touya drew back his energy. First thing he saw when his attention could be anywhere else was Jin sliding down the ice slide and across the frozen lake.

"Now all a' ya can play on the lake all ya want," he called out to the kids.

And the kids came running. Not many of them knew how to walk on the ice, but even when the lot of them went tumbling, they were still giggling and having fun falling and sliding around. Soon there were kids pushing one another around the ice, others riding the ice slide, building snowmen, and, inevitably, having snowball fights.

Touya observed the children playing. An odd juxtaposition of thoughts was in his head—of course of lately none of that was anything new going on in his head. He had always known how to manipulate his powers as per his uncle's instruction. He knew how to cause harm, to kill. Any other sort of use was frivolous, a waste.

But it didn't have to be. They could have fun with their ice manipulation. Not every piece of ice ever made had to be a blade. Ice could be smooth and snow had more uses than a quick blinder. It didn't have to be all about striking this, kill-point here. His tribe could have made ice slides for their children, let them make snowmen. There were many other things they could have done with their powers if his uncle had permitted it. He hadn't even allowed the thought.

Touya heard the snow crunch near him. He peered over his shoulder to find a little girl, one of the youngest there, trying to walk through the snow. She succeeded on a few steps and then plopped face-first into the snow. She stood herself up and tried again, only to land back in the snow. As Touya went over to help her, the little girl raised her arms to be carried. Softly smiling, he picked her up. Soon as she was in his arms, she held onto his robes and laid her head down on his shoulder.

"Found yourself a wee one, haven't ya?" Jin said, shaking the remnants of smashed snowball out of his hair, as he walked to him. "Or should I say she found ya?"

"A little of both," Touya said, adjusting his hold, as the little girl suckled on her fingers.

"Know this one well, I do. A sweetheart, she be," Jin said as he crouched down to the girl's level. As he reached to play with her, the girl protested and batted his hand away.

Jin blinked. "Ah, don't like me no more, lil' lass. Rather cuddle up on Toy, would ya?" Still crouched, Jin peered up at Touya and grinned. "Really have a way with the girls, Toy. Luck a' the fair wind, I'm not the jealous-type."

Jin laughed as he ruffled the little girl's hair and Touya wondered if he had heard Jin right, if he had meant to say what he had. He had figured Jin knew what he had said but had just used the wrong phrasing. Or perhaps Touya was overthinking matters.

Jin stared serenely as he watched the kids. "Look at 'em all playin' in the white ash."

"Why do you call it that?" Touya asked.

"'Cause it be what it be. White. Ash. Fallin' from the sky." His expression must have been poor as Jin scrunched up his in confusion. "What do you call it then?"

"Snow."

"Snow?" Jin thought on it. "Yea, that makes sense too."

"You say that like it does not," Touya said, smiling.

"Well, ta me white ash makes perfect sense, but I'm not used ta the stuff anyway. Your 'snow' be a part a' your world so your word for it has ta make sense too. …Does that make any sense?"

"Just enough," Touya said as he made a check to see if the quiet little girl was still awake and she was. In fact, seeing she had Touya's attention, she starting cooing and babbling her own opinion to Touya.

"Yea, that's right!" Jin said to the little girl.

Touya quirked an eyebrow curiously at Jin, "Do you understand her?"

"Not a lick," Jin proudly admitted. "But it sounds important, doesn't it?"

To Jin's grin, Touya could not help but smile as the little girl weaved a story no one but her could understand.

They walked about, making a round and checking on the kids, settling disputes, helping build snowmen and snow castles here and there. Along the way, they found the little girl's siblings. Her older sister had been looking for her and was grateful to take her back, much to the little girl's displeasure.

As she fussed and held out her arms for Touya to take her, Jin kneeled and hugged the little girl. "Ah, don't cry, little one. No more tears. You'll see your new friend Touya later. Promise we'll come an' visit. Promise, sweetheart."

Touya wasn't certain if he was just saying that to please the little girl or if he had forgotten again how his tribe was leaving for the mists soon. Touya didn't think it was wise for anyone if he brought it back up. Or explain how he doubted he would be able to get away from his tribe later on to make any visits. Given the circumstances, it was simply more polite to remain quiet.

Leaving the little girl to the care of her sibling, Jin and Touya resumed walking about. Touya noticed Jin looking away across the clearing. He asked him what it was he saw.

"Not sure. Thought I saw somethin' 'round the snow banks. Swore, I did," Jin said. "Not the first time either."

Touya looked where Jin had said but saw nothing out of place, no movement. "Might have been a rabbit," he speculated. "Though it would be a little too boisterous—"

Whatever Touya had left to say was immediately cut off in a rush of red and surprise. Touya fell back, hit the ground, and rolled along in the snow for several dizzying cycles. When the spinning finally subsided, he found himself on his back, catching his breath, his face undoubtedly pink from the sudden exertion. And Jin on top of him, one hand pressing down his right shoulder, the other down on his left arm, using the rest of his weight to hold Touya down.

Touya's eyes widened into moons as his already quickened heartbeat thumped fast. No doubt his face was far from simply pink now. "Jin, what are you doing?" he asked, unable to hide the quiver in his voice.

"Tumblin' in the white ash with me best friend," Jin said, still grinning. Touya rather wished he did not look so pleased. Or that he did not look so good that Touya could not look away.

"Ah, don't look so scared. Know by now I'm not gonna hurt ya, ya should."

"I am not scared. I am—"

"Shier than a new fawn," Jin said. "But that's okay. Also okay ta admit I caught ya off-guard."

Touya tried to laugh but having little breath, it came out more like a soft gasp. "I suppose there is no reason to try and deny that," and then he said, "You could let me back up, you know?"

"Well, it takes two ta tumble an' chase an' you're not puttin' up much a' fight, so…" Jin said expectantly, his grin spreading as his words trailed off.

It was then Touya saw the mischievousness, the playfulness in his eyes, a look that was so natural and common to Jin it was practically his default expression, prompting Touya to respond. He turned his head to the side, closed his eyes, and smiled. It was such a relief. He had thought, at first sight of Jin on top of him, that he had had other intentions. Touya, unused to such closeness, such directness, had merely misunderstood.

Again, it was such a relief.

"You will not catch me off guard again," Touya said, flashing his own playful smile, as he smacked a handful of snow into Jin's face.

Maybe it was silly and perhaps he felt foolish and more childish than he had ever felt before, but running around and tumbling in the snow with Jin was fun. Touya swore Jin used the wind to keep ahead of him but every time he was just about ready to quit running and call him out on it, Jin would let him catch him. On his turn, Jin would always catch him quickly—the wind's advantage, Touya suspected.

"Ah, Toy?" Jin said one turn. "I saw somethin'."

"I will not fall for that twice, Jin." Besides, he was already on his back again.

"Nah really. I saw somethin'," Jin said, ending their play as he rose to his feet.

Touya sat up and looked with Jin. This time didn't seem to be a ploy, a minor prank to throw off his attention. This time there really was something there. It was a young Winter boy, peeking over the snow bank.

"Hey!" Jin called. "All a' ya can play too. Don't be 'fraid. Come out."

The Winter boy disappeared under the snow, but not before many of the other kids saw him as well. Following Jin's lead, the rest of the Spring children called to the Winter kids to come play, their eager voices sounding together like a flock of chittering birds.

Slowly, the Winter boy poked up from the snow bank and one-by-one another uncertain, wide-eyed Winter child appeared until Touya knew all of the younger kids had emerged. Not that was exactly a large group, just eleven kids to the Spring Tribe's…well, there were more Spring kids than his tribe's, to put it simply. To no wonder, of course. The birthrate for the Winter Tribe was extremely low, infrequent, and heavily regulated by the tribe's elders.

The Winter kids looked at Touya. They were looking to him for permission. As the only and oldest of their tribe there, the Winter kids had to defer to him. It was what they knew to do—if there was not an adult present, the children obeyed the older children. Namely Hyou, most of the time. The children were very still and cautious, eyeing Touya almost fearfully. Touya did not take offense. The children were, after all, used to Hyou's command.

Touya gave his tribe's children a reassuring smile and nodded it was all right. Still the kids were hesitant and talked quietly amongst themselves. He had no question that they were debating whether to follow his go-ahead. Being a disgrace to his tribe, the children normally would not obey him for fear of getting in trouble for listening to him. That and there had always been someone else, Hyou, to yield to. Today had been the first time they had to follow him.

The decision finally made, the Winter children timidly came out from the snow banks and approached the others. The Spring children made no pause in saying hello to the surprise and worry of the Winter children, huddling together as so many Spring children surrounded them, all eager to be friends.

It all reminded Touya of his and Jin's meeting in the woods. Jin's presence had concerned him as well—in truth, it still did but only in fear of his tribe catching him with Jin. Otherwise, without that fear looming above him, Touya could think of no other person he had ever felt so comfortable with.

The children shared a bit of chatter before the Spring tribe children, in the manner of their honorary big brother, grabbed the Winter kids by the hand and hurried off with them to show them the ice slide, the frozen lake, and their snow creations. Soon they were all chasing, talking, having snowball fights, and playing hide and seek together.

Touya thought that perhaps they would be needed to mediate any rising quarrels between the two tribe's children but none of that was necessary. Granted the Winter children were more reserved and meeker but the Spring children didn't bully them. They all got along quite well. Touya knew his elders would be appalled to see their kids, not only playing, but being amicable with the other tribe's kids.

You let them near our children, Touya heard his uncle's voice in his head. You exposed them to those dirty little grub-eaters. The danger you have placed them in is insurmountable. Are you even able to comprehend the harm you have done to them? Of course, you cannot.

This is not the will of the tribe, nephew.

Touya stood still, swallowing his breath harshly as he wondered if he had been right in giving the children permission to play. In the moment it had seemed okay, harmless, but now he was less certain.

"Look at 'em," Jin said. "Your kids, our kids… Doesn't matter to them what tribe be which, they're just kids playin' with other kids. An' they're perfectly happy. If this be any proof a' anythin' it be that we can all be friends."

This is not the will of the tribe, nephew, his uncle's voice repeated. Touya tried his best to push aside or in the least ignore his uncle's voice.

"Ah! Reminds me that I think ya should talk ta Magi. Talked ta her earlier already, I did, but ya should too. Still got that heavy crush on ya, she does." Jin cupped his hands around his mouth and called for Magi.

She was apparently not far off and probably heard Jin talking about her.

"What! I be doin' nothin' bad," Magi said, in a voice that always meant a child was up to something they shouldn't. "Just playin' with me new friend." At that, a young Winter boy, his face as red as Magi's hair, peeped out over the snow mound.

"Ah, just checkin' on ya, lass. Go back ta playin'." Jin grinned as he turned to Touya. "Well, don't hafta let her down, after all. She's already over ya."

"That is a relief," Touya said and then looked back uneasily in Magi and the Winter boy's direction. "Though, do you not think we should…"

"Ah, nothin' wrong. At her age, Magi's not a full wild beast yet. Worst she'll do ta the boy be nip him a bit," Jin laughed as he wrapped an arm about Touya's shoulders and walked with him. "All kids sneak kisses an' cuddle, an' hold hands behind parents' backs 'er from the other kids so they don't get made fun of. Some adults do it too. Nothin' ta worry 'bout."

Touya nodded in agreement. After all, it was logic he understood very well already.

Because children do not know how to speak subtly and even repressed children like the Winter kids who grow up knowing their words can lead to trouble and punishment cannot be completely subtle, it became quite apparent to Touya that the Winter children preferred his lead over any other older Winter kid's.

Which doesn't say much actually. It wasn't anything more than that he was actually kind and played with them and didn't order them around. Natural decency, as Touya was aware of now, seemed wondrous when you were not used to it. As it was, Touya still wasn't all that accustomed to it either. Jin could still surprise him with a smile, a laugh here and there, or a light touch. It still boggled Touya that someone could and would want his company.

Later on, he was sitting on the ground with a few of his tribe's kids surrounding him, one little girl stood behind him hugging his neck. The kids asked him why the adults always told them that he was so bad, to stay away from him, and what a disgrace was.

"It is…complicated," Touya said, trying to answer delicately without giving much of an answer at all. "I do not completely comprehend it myself. Sorry."

"But you're so nice," said the girl around his neck. "Why do we have to hate you?"

"Our tribe has certain rules, laws, and manners of conduct and they must be followed."

"Those rules are stupid," said a boy. "All we do is sit and be quiet, if we're not being punished. We don't play, told not to get near you or the other tribe, and nothing bad happened when we did, so why can't we?"

"Yea, why not us? Why can't we play?"

"The other kids play and they're nice too. Why did no one let us meet before, Touya?"

"It is the way of our tribe," Touya said as the children frowned and pouted in disagreement. "…I never said it made much sense."

"Tomorrow, we'll play with the other kids again, right? And you'll come too, right?"

"I cannot promise with certainty," Touya said, "but we will try."

The kids cheered and then got up and went off to play with their new friends. They called to Touya to join them but as Jin came up from behind him, much to his surprise, and wrapped his arms loosely around his shoulders, Touya stayed behind.

As loud and lively as Jin is, from time to time he somehow manages to catch me unawares. Being quiet and subtle does not at all match with Jin's nature. But he can be. Clearly, he can. It may always surprise me but the surprise is not unwelcome.

"Fair ta say this been the best day," Jin said, giving his shoulders a little squeeze. "Really made your lil' snowflakes happy."

"I think your birds might have helped." It will not be easy when we leave.

"Your snowflakes an' my birds. Happy…" Jin said, his voice quiet and reflective.

Touya glanced over but could not tell what Jin was thinking. Not that was entirely new. Touya was usually left wondering and guessing what for sure Jin was thinking but this time, he was wondering more than usual.

Jin was silent, a very odd and rare occurrence for him, as he considered and thought over something only he knew, what with Touya at a loss for possibilities. For once, Jin felt so distant, despite the fact he was still laxly hugging Touya.

Jin stared out into nothing, so lost in his thoughts. Touya's only indication of his thoughts was his expression and even that was muddled. Jin's feelings usually came across so clearly. He was open. He was direct. But his expression now blended the lines between happy and sad so far Touya couldn't tell which he wanted to feel more.

"Toy, somethin' I wanna tell ya," he said with such softness Touya grew concerned.

Jin took Touya's hand and drew him around to face him. They stood in silence, hand in hand. Touya felt his warmth, these lively vines of warmth wrap about his hands. He felt secure. He felt safe. Touya peered down and saw his hands cupped in Jin's but his mind was so fuzzy, he barely recognized them. They looked so small and pale.

And Jin was Jin, ever smiling, but something was also very different about him. It was the look in his eyes. His gaze was bright and warm and intense. Like sunlight. His eyes radiated such a strong emotion. Touya wasn't sure at all what emotion it exactly was but he was both drawn to and fearful of it. And the more Jin met his eyes and stared into his, the more uncertain and nervous Touya became. His hands trembled first and then the rest of him joined in. Touya tried to avert his stare but still felt Jin looking. Touya's cheeks quickly heated.

He wondered why he was looking at him, what was this deep feeling he was showing him, and would he tell him what it was after he told him whatever it was he wanted to tell him.

"Toy," Jin said, "I lo—"

"Touya," the harsh call snapped through and silenced Jin's gentle words.

Heart leaping up and pounding in his ears, Touya broke his hands free from Jin's and found his fear confirmed. Hyou and two lackeys stood across from them. One lackey smirked. The other sneered. Hyou wore no expression but a deep scowl, his stare hard and fixed on Touya.

"Our kids better run home. Now. If any of you stay or if you come back, you will be the rabbits in the next hunt," Hyou said, his voice firm yet detached. The Winter kids instantly obeyed, running and tripping over their own feet to hurry away fast enough.

Hyou's eyes stayed on Touya. "Just what do you think you are doing?"

"I…" Touya said and from there, he blanked.

"He isn't doin' nothin'," Jin said, stepping forward. "Just havin' fun. An' so were your kids."

"No one asked you!" he snapped at Jin and sneered in disgust for being addressed by him. His anger cutting through his calm mask, Hyou quickly focused back on Touya, "You know there is work to be done and here you are lollygagging around with them. Have you not shamed our tribe enough? Come. Now. The ceremony is almost in order. Or would you prefer to be late and—"

A snowball splattered across the side of Hyou's face. Hyou looked shocked. Touya looked shocked. Magi, Wara, and Shii, each ready with another snowball, laughed. Jin tried not to laugh and failed.

Touya watched Hyou. He watched him needle his sidelong glare into the laughing kids. He watched the blizzard rage in his pale gray eyes. Shock transmuted to rage as Hyou curled his hands into tight fists.

"You filthy—" he spat and swung at the kids. Three ice daggers shined in the sunlight as they flew toward their three young marks.

A Jin-shaped blur rushed past Touya. Racing ahead, Jin coursed the wind and sent a sudden, strong gust that blew the daggers into a thick tree trunk. He turned and glared at Hyou.

Touya knew it was Jin but he also had to remind himself that it was him standing there. Because Jin's dark expression did not match the kind, smiling, cheerful Spring boy Touya knew. Jin was mad, like he had been when that brute tried intimidating Touya last night. There was a great burst of wind as Jin pushed off and rushed toward Hyou. Touya did not see much of his flight but he did see Jin as he slowed just before reaching Hyou. He saw the moment his flying fist smashed into Hyou's face.

Hyou crashed against a tree, his head bouncing against its wide trunk, and slid to the ground.

"Don't evah bully the little ones," Jin said.

Hyou's lackeys tried helping Hyou to his feet but had to drag, wrench, and hold him up by themselves. Hyou was useless. He sobbed and cursed Jin and his tribe, using a few lower-class swears Touya had no idea Hyou even knew, as he held his hand protectively over his right cheek.

Despite the clear skies, the trees violently swayed, smaller branches snapped, as if there was a looming storm. It puzzled Touya at first before he realized the wind was mirroring Jin's mindset. Jin was angry, so was the wind. They could feel the rapid swell and change in air pressure around them as his power rose. Hyou and his lackeys held one another and eyed Jin fearfully.

"Oh, so suddenly you're not so big an' bad no more," Jin said wryly, hands on both his hips. "Guess it's diff'rent when you're not pickin' on lil' kids an' Toy. Wanna prove you're tough, why don't ya pick on me? Happy ta oblige ya, I'd be. Love ta put a few more shiners on that weasel face a' yours, I would. Ya could use the color."

Hyou put up hands and cowered, sobbing apologies Touya knew were false and were only for saving his neck. Still, he made for a pitiful sight, one that Jin was not going to fall for. And when he realized Jin wasn't going to stop on his own, Touya knew he had to stop him himself.

"Jin!" Touya called and Jin, one hand pulling Hyou up by his robes and the other cocked back into a ready punch, stopped and looked at him. "…Please."

Jin met his eyes and then looked back at Hyou. Touya could see him debating, wanting to go on and knowing Hyou deserved it but gave in for Touya's sake.

"Ya bettah understand this," Jin said to Hyou as he released him and pointed at Touya. "It be by his grace, not mine, that you're not gettin' your ass kicked from here all across the mists. Should thank him for it, but I know ya won't."

Slowly, Hyou rose from the ground, fearful of Jin but staring hard toward Touya. His lackeys finally mustered up the courage and helped Hyou stand. "Touya. Come. Now," he ordered.

Touya obeyed. As he headed over to his cousin's side, Touya paused in front of Jin and gazed into his equally saddened stare. "I am sorry…" he said before he went over and stood at Hyou's side as his lackeys crowded around him.

Hyou touched the bruise and winced. "Filthy muck elf," he murmured, though Touya knew it had still been loud enough for Jin to overhear. Thankfully, he did not react.

After Hyou gave the command and as they walked back, Touya peeked over shoulder at Jin, briefly saw him frowning but was turned abruptly back around by Hyou. Touya stared down at the snowy earth.

He continued to stare downward while Hyou and neither of his lackeys said anything as they headed back to their side of the village. Once thoroughly on their side, Hyou grabbed Touya and pinned him against a wall.

"I know it is difficult for you, Touya, but do not be stupid," Hyou said, his stare narrowed, his voice and features sharp and cold. "Even you should know better than to walk on cracked ice."

Touya had tried to remain impassive but he had let out a small surprised gasp in the sudden shock.

"Do you wish to die?" Hyou asked.

Sometimes, but not once since I met Jin. "N-No, cousin."

"Peculiar manner of showing that, do you think? Or do you merely believe I am as stupid as you, Touya?" Hyou snorted derisively. "A walk in the night air… I doubt that is the full truth, little cousin. Fact is that I have few doubts of where you actually were last night."

So I feared. Touya swallowed his air roughly.

"If you are not careful, Father will hear about this. And you know what he will think, what will happen, Touya. If you have a death wish, then by all means, slosh about in the muck. But if you have even an inkling of self-preservation left, you will start thinking with that big head of yours and you will start thinking for the tribe."

"Yes, Hyou," Touya quickly muttered.

"Come on," Hyou ordered, releasing him from the wall and shoving him forward. "The elders are waiting."

-o-

Touya sat bowed, staring at the wooden floor of the circular platform he sat on in the middle of the meetinghouse reserved for rituals. The eight elders of his tribe also sat on the platform, his uncle directly across from Touya and the chief at his uncle's right. The remaining adults, and only the adults, sat in attendance around the platform.

The air was hazy and harsh with the smoke and stench of burnt pine needles. Only two braziers placed on opposite ends dimly lighted the meetinghouse. What little light that flickered softly there was, was all that was needed. Touya glimpsed up and saw the light reflecting in his uncle's gray eyes and off his angular features, pale skin and stark light blue hair. The light reflected off all the others, including himself, in this manner. Shadows enveloped their forms and danced beside the light. Touya noted that far more shadow than light existed in the meetinghouse and across the elders and observing adults.

All was silent until the chief spoke the ritual's commencing words. His voice was deep but bore no emotion or inflection. The ritual began with the same words that preceded most of the tribe's rituals and creeds, "There is no self, only the tribe. There is no self-will, only the will of the tribe. Every action, every thought, every breath is for the tribe…"

"But there are those who think only for themselves, who defy the will, and who wish ill upon us all. They are disgraces that must be taught to self-sacrifice with sacrifice, their defiant wills must be broken like the canes struck across their backs, and their rebellious fires must be snuffed out with unrelenting cold."

Touya sat still, his eyes shut, too scared to quickly glance up from the floor. All eyes and harsh frowns in the meetinghouse were on him. He could feel their cold severity piercing through his poor try at an impassive mask. Touya faintly quivered, hoping the shake was hardly noticeable in the low flickering light. In that moment, he felt half his short age and wished he had a blanket so he could pull it around himself and over his head and hide under it.

"And to know a disgrace, we must mark the disgrace. Is this the will of the tribe?" asked the chief.

"It is," responded the room in monotonous unison.

"Proceed with the marking," the chief ordered.

Though he was well accustomed to the marking ritual, Touya still hated every aspect of it. Not a moment of it was ever pleasant or Touya could find any relief within. And though he had been forced into participating in the marking ritual since he was a toddler, it still incited a deep fear inside him, no doubt fear that had its roots in his very first marking.

The two elders sitting behind him rose onto their knees. Well aware of the procedure, Touya put his arms behind his back and even so one elder grabbed his wrists and pulled them together while the other bound his hands with a thin thorny vine. Touya did not cry out as the thorns punctured and scratched his skin. They would punish him more if he had, as he had learned at his first marking, and Touya would not permit them the enjoyment.

"This strong black vine," said the chief, "is the will of the tribe for which you have disobeyed and have incurred the wrath. It shall bind your hands as the will binds you to the tribe. Its thorns shall prick and embed in your skin as a concrete lesson that you must too rejoin the tribe after much pain and misery. Any blood that is shed is the disgrace you must cast aside."

My blood is my disgrace, Touya thought. It was the first words to an old recitation drilled into him by his uncle. The entire passage stated that one amend Touya would have to make to reconcile and be accepted by the tribe would be to reject his blood, in other words, renounce his parents. Touya refused to then and would now if ordered. While the rest of the tribe saw them as disgraces, Touya believed they had done nothing wrong.

"The strain you suffer is the weight of your shame upon the tribe."

The next pair of elders less so much helped Touya to his knees and bowed him before his uncle than picked him up and shoved him into position. He was forced to remain bowed on his knees and with his hands tied behind his back for a very long time as two other elders ground the dry dye block and procured the necessary amount of fine powder.

"This dye is the stain of your disgrace. It will serve as your mark and will be renewed in the coming passage back to the village until the day you have renounced your vile, destructive ways, embraced the will of the tribe as your own, and at last rejoined us."

A bowl of the completed dye was set before Touya's uncle. He drew back his kimono's sleeves and produced an ink brush. Old scraps of white cloth were thickly bound around his hands, no doubt to prevent the disgrace's dye from staining them. His uncle took a hold of Touya's pale blue fringe speckled with faded bits of the mark and applied the fresh aqua green dye to the first pointed lock.

Touya tried his best to breathe quietly from his mouth. The dye stank horribly, and so would he for a few days until it at last evaporated from the dye. His uncle did not grasp his hair lightly, if the dye itself did not make his hair fall out, Touya had no doubt his uncle's pull would.

The marking itself was the longest part of the ritual. Touya's uncle very methodically took each lock of hair and brushed on the dye from root to tip, front to back, taking his time to ensure a proper marking and also because the longer he took, the longer Touya was forced to remain bowed and miserable.

His neck and shoulders were killing him by the time his uncle was finished. Not that it meant he could rise and relax. There still was a thirty-minute wait he had to endure bowed before he could move. There were two reasons why the wait was necessary. The first was a more practical reason: to allow the dye to set and dry. The second reason, and the one the elders were more concerned with, was the symbolic act of him bowing before them, his submitting to their authority, therefore the will of the tribe. Touya had no doubt his uncle took the bow to his authority personally.

This was the moment Touya was least comfortable with. The elders and the adults in attendance all went into a meditative silence, leaving and surrounding Touya in a heavy stillness where he felt anything could happen to him at a moment's notice. And here he was, amid the charge and swell, with his bleeding hands tied behind his back, his reflexes sore and slowed, bowed before the most dangerous and cruelest man in his tribe who also possessed a personal hatred toward him and his neck was unguarded.

It may have been a message the elders had not intended to make, but Touya was certain the symbolism was not lost on his uncle. In fact, it was probably the message he most wished to convey—I hold your life.

Touya knew that already but every year, at every marking, the wait in silence reminded him of his uncle's true authority over him. That, at this moment and any other, he could kill him and he should be grateful that he had not yet taken his life when he possessed all the power and skill to do so.

Stay still. Do not bend. Prove to them that you are strong, he ordered himself. It had become a personal challenge of sorts for Touya to see if he could remain bowed in perfect place for the full thirty minutes. The previous year he had came so close to succeeding before he faltered. This year, he was determined to endure it unflinchingly.

The burn spread from his shoulders down his spine but Touya told himself that his back was strong, that he could make it. And this year he did, only once he had, none of the elders appeared impressed. Touya supposed he should have expected as much.

"The marking is complete," the chief said. "So be the will of the tribe."

"The will of the tribe is my own," everyone, including Touya, replied.

-o-

There is no self, only the tribe. There is no self-will, only the will of the tribe. Every action, every thought, every breath is for the tribe.

Finally being granted freedom from Hyou's command and afternoon of torment, Touya was in his sectioned-off quarters in the servants' room changing from an indoor kimono to an outdoor kimono. He had intended on giving his mind a rest but his thoughts were taking no such relaxation.

Jin is right, Touya contemplated. We are dead. How we live cannot be defined as 'living', therefore we must be dead. We have allowed ourselves to become what we feared most.

Touya's mind bent and swayed like a lone little sapling on a high hilltop caught in two blustery crosswinds. He had his uncle's voice berating him, spouting off bitterly the tenets of the tribe. Then there was Jin's voice talking about living, having fun, and enjoying life. And somewhere in all the words said and actions made was Touya. He wished he could clear his mind, or at least silence his uncle.

Touya knew of only one place he could go.

With no one else in the room and making a quick check of the street, Touya slipped off. The main street was bare, of people and of snow. A wet sheen coated the cobblestone and here and there, small remaining piles of slushy snow speckled the street. The air was warmer, warmer today than it had been yesterday, and especially for the early evening. The sky was gray but it did not appear that it would snow. In fact, aside from Touya's personal flurry, he had not seen any snow fall today. Peculiar.

At the first sign of anyone coming, Touya ducked into the alleyways. The thought crossed him that even if no one saw him, the awful smell of the dye would alert his tribe of his presence. The reek was so pungent and lingering he mostly likely left a trail of odor wherever he went. Convenient, Touya supposed, if anyone wished to find him. Not that anyone would intentionally want to find him quickly. Unless it was to punish him for something.

Clear of imminent danger, Touya hurried up the small hill and entered the forest. Little to no snow coated the forest floor or mounded in the bare gray trees, their bark more like stone, their branches like gnarled bone. Touya's steps made squishy noises on the wet ground. And yet, as somber as his surroundings appeared, he still felt the pulse in the earth, stronger than ever.

Touya padded through the woods, heading toward the spot in his memory. Along the way, the undercurrent of energy in the earth was with him, also urging him toward growth and change and movement. The pulse felt so much like Jin, like he was all around him smiling. Both Jin and the energy in the earth were such intense, positive forces that radiated good cheer and stirred so much warmth in Touya. And neither his uncle would have liked or approved of.

At last, Touya reached the blanket of snowdrops and swore there were even more today. Finding a large, wide rock amid the white flowers, Touya took a seat and drank in the tranquility. Perhaps this was not the least impartial place he could go to clear his head, what with all the connections to Jin here, but it was quiet and at least the memories he had here were good ones. Very good. Actually, probably the best he had.

Touya played out various conversations in his mind, some just between himself and either his uncle or Jin, and others with the three of them present, and one solely between Jin and his uncle. None of them ended well, not even the ones between himself and Jin. His uncle's voice spewed out more hateful rhetoric, some of it actually rational but most of it spoke of his ignorance. During his uncle's less sensible arguments, Touya focused on Jin.

By the end of his trial conversations, Touya really had only one of his concerns decided upon—his uncle could never find out about Jin.

Touya sat, admiring the field of snowdrops across the forest floor. When he and Jin had first found them yesterday, the flowers had looked to Touya like a bent-over woman crying. They had looked so small, frail, and weak. However, now seeing so many, even more than the day before, and knowing how cold and unforgiving the nights often were and seeing so few plants grow, much less thrive, in such harsh conditions, Touya could only see the snowdrops as a sign of hope, not sorrow. If they could survive, perhaps he could. Things could get better for him.

Or not, which was more likely the case. It was all he ever knew.

Touya tried to feel hopeful. It was not easy and for all his endeavor, all he had was an ember, but he still had hope. He remembered a torn scrap of parchment he had found in his uncle's private storage years ago. It was only one sentence from a larger note, long lost. Touya had always suspected it was from his father, since the handwriting did not match his uncle's or sounded like something he would have written.

The torn piece had read—Hope is stronger than despair.

Touya had kept it and read it over and over, until one day Hyou had snatched it from him and he and his lackeys made him eat it stuffed inside a ball of rancid animal fat. It had been so long ago and replaced by other bad memories that Touya had forgotten about the note and its message. He had especially forgotten the message.

Touya tried to embolden himself by repeating his father's words in his mind and gazing at the snowdrops. So absorbed in committing the ideal to heart, he never noticed the sun and its last ray of golden light fall below the hillside and the first stars twinkle in the night. His only call back to awareness was the sound of footsteps breaking the silence.

On guard and wary, Touya swiftly surveyed about, first catching sight the light of the lantern burning through the dark and then part of a person in its amber glow.

"Toy? That's you, right?" asked Jin, much to his relief.

"Yes, Jin," he said as he pushed off from the rock and Jin hurried.

"Hoped it was ya. Really happy that it be ya, Toy, I am. Had a feelin' you'd be out here, I did," Jin paused in his eager rush and pinched his nose shut. "Uh, Toy? Don't mean ta be rude but the wind 'round ya smells. Bad."

"Pardon it if you can," Touya said, embarrassed, as he stepped into Jin's light, revealing his aqua green bangs to Jin. "It is the dye. It marks a disgrace in my tribe."

"Disgrace?" Jin said, confused, as he set the lantern on the rock, reached forward, and rubbed a dyed lock between two fingers. The color did not come off. "Whatevah could ya have done ta get that, Toy?"

"I did nothing but be born. My parents were the ones who committed the shame," Touya said as Jin's check rub turned into Jin stroking Touya's fringe. It was a light, gentle touch that brought so much comfort, despite the gesture's simplicity.

"What did they do?" he heard Jin ask, as his touch lulled Touya's eyes closed.

"They loved one another," he said as the comfort and goodness struck his fear and his fear sobered him back to reality.

"You have to understand, Jin," Touya explained as he tottered backwards and out of Jin's touch, "that love, specifically impassioned love, is discouraged in my tribe. Our tribe is built upon control and restraint and order. Strong emotions, such as love or hate, are meant to be suppressed and denied for the benefit of the tribe. We are meant to be impassive, stoic, and impartial at all times."

If Jin felt anything about Touya's sudden withdrawal, he did not show it. "If that be the truth, how be there lil' ones runnin' around if none a' ya feel anythin' for one another?"

"Marriages are arranged between the betrotheds' parents and the elders, as are our pregnancies. Feelings have no place in such matters. All that is important is the tribe and will of the tribe." The fear in him subsided. Touya felt perfectly all right as long as he and Jin maintained this friendly distance.

"And what did ypur parents do? Feel somethin' for the other and had a kid without a bunch a' old geezers lettin' them?"

"Yes and no," Touya said. "There is much more to the story."

"Years ago, in the young adulthood of my parents, my tribe was different. My uncle had not yet assumed the position of Ice Master and forced his harsh influence over our chief, so our tribe was…less rigid. I suppose you could say we were allowed to live a bit more back then. Quite a lot more, from what I gather."

"My father, he was quite beloved in my tribe. His selflessness, generosity, and genius are still spoken of highly, albeit solemnly, to this day. I imagine that if my father had lived, if he had been allowed to advance his beliefs, my tribe would have been vastly different with his influence."

"Anyway, in my father's time, young men could court a girl's affections before he petitioned his parents to speak for their arrangement. My father had found such a young woman. Their match was suitable and their affections for one another endless and deep. It was well believed their marriage was inevitable."

"An' they didn't?"

Touya shook his head. "My uncle petitioned for her first, and since my uncle was the elder brother, my father could do nothing. Whether anything was done to persuade my uncle to break the arrangement is unknown, but the elders determined there was nothing wrong with their match so they were married."

"My uncle was jealous of my father. He believed that as the elder he was my father's better in all aspects, but my father always outshined him. He was more liked, better praised, and even though they were equal in skill and power and were both considered prodigies, my uncle believed my father would be chosen as the next Ice Master over him."

"He married her just to spite my father. She was what he cherished most and he stole her simply because he had the power to do so."

"Needless to say, my mother felt nothing for her husband and resented him. She upheld her duties as the lady of the house and bore my uncle a son, Hyou, but she always loved my father and he, her."

"They started meeting in secret. Anytime my uncle was away from the house at a council, presiding over a ritual, or instructing. Though even if he was home, retreated inside his reflection room, they would meet." Touya angled his head to the side and blushed, "…I do not believe they talked much."

"Even though it was against our laws and they knew the consequences if they were ever caught, they continued the affair. Most of my mother's servants and maids knew about it and helped her leave or sneak my father inside. Everyone, after all, believed they were inevitably supposed to be together."

"There was minimal worry until my mother became pregnant. Luckily, at the time, my uncle had petitioned to have a second child. It was simply seen as fortuitous that soon after the appeal was granted that she was pregnant. However, upon inspection by a midwife, she informed my mother she was a little more along for a recently expected, and from that, my mother knew the baby was not my uncle's."

"She maintained the pretense well though. Even those aware of the affair and the timing were convinced she carried my uncle's child. The only ones who definitively knew the truth were her and my father. Even when she gave birth two months early and I showed no ill effects, not one suspicion was raised."

"Our oldest maid told me that, as much as they loved each other, together they loved me more. While my mother never neglected Hyou of care and love when he needed it, I was her favorite. She spent every moment with me. My mother doted on me so, as did my father when he could be around. Between the pair, I never knew a shortage of pride and affection. Sadly, I was too young to remember any of it."

"Of course, our idyllic family life did not last. After my mother healed from childbirth, they resumed their passions and during one said occasion, a servant loyal to my uncle discovered them and reported it to my uncle."

"In favorable times, my uncle is a man to fear," Touya said grimly, "But when he is angry, there is no greater chill in the world."

"My uncle brought my father before the elders and he was publicly tried for his crimes. My father denied nothing. He even exposed the truth that I was his son. The elders deliberated but the law was clear on the matter. My father was sentenced to death."

"My uncle killed him right then and there. Our laws are harsh, yes, but my uncle's actions then even shocked my tribe. To so effortlessly kill your own brother without hesitation or sorrow… But that was and still is the law. No matter how ruthless my uncle's actions were, he was still in his legal right to do so. Horrific as his actions were, he had not committed a crime."

"My mother also died that night. My uncle claims she committed suicide. …No one believes she did."

"Wind ta guide, Toy," Jin said in awe, eyes wide and mouth open in surprise. "Be a wonder he left ya alive."

"I question that myself, Jin. Only reason I can think of is to hurt them. Keep me alive but dragged down close to the grave without ever letting me fall into it. After all, I cannot be made to suffer if I am dead."

"The alternative reason is that he was forced to. The elders had decided that since I was a baby to let me live but, as a product of my parents' crime, mark me as a disgrace. And until I prove to my tribe of my worthiness, that I am not a dishonor, I will remain a disgrace."

"You're not a disgrace, Toy. Farthest thing from it, ya are. You're the best one outta the older ones, I'd say. Ya got heart an' mind an' courage in spades, not like that cousin—wait… His mam an' your mam…" Jin thought aloud, marking the air with his index finger as he tried a figure out the connection. And then it hit him, "Ya mean that rotten lil' weasel of a cousin a' yours—"

"Is also my half-brother," Touya plainly said.

"Needs some serious lessons in bein' a big brother, he does," Jin grumbled as he took his hand and brought him over to sit with him on the large crease that formed a seat of sorts on the rock.

"I only pity the lil' ones who hafta listen ta your tribe's malarkey. Poor things gettin' their heads filled with shit before they've the chance ta figure anythin'..." Jin said. "I know that our tribes do things diff'rently an' there be nothin' wrong with bein' diff'rent but ya hafta admit there be somethin' seriously wrong about your tribe's ways. 'Least some a' the time."

Touya stared down at Jin's hand, still holding his. "I have expressed doubts of the ways of my tribe to Hyou. He merely scoffs at my thoughts and insinuates that I am somehow against the tribe. It is dangerous to criticize the will of the tribe."

"Lotta things be dangerous ta do in your tribe," Jin said in an offhanded tone.

Touya nodded.

Jin sighed and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, "Don't evah let it getcha down, Toy. A good person, ya are an' that be the truth." He slid closer, drawing Touya to rest his head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Jin." Touya said, tilting his head downward to hide the pink on his cheeks.

Jin laid a hand on his cheek and guided Touya back to meet him eye to eye. The touch had no force to it and Touya had willingly rose. Jin smiled and stared into his eyes for the longest time before he said, "Ya got eyes bluer than the sky. Anyone evah tell ya that?"

Touya shook his head no.

"Well, ya do," Jin said. "Look like water with a barely frozen sheet a' ice floatin' on top. Underneath that bit a' ice, they look all warm."

"My eyes do differ from most. It is because of the nature of my parents' affair and the warmth they shared for one another. A proper union within my tribe will always yield firm, icy stares. Any sort of passion is believed to melt the ice and leaves a child with what are called watery eyes. …It is considered an offense to your child to let them have such eyes."

"'Course, it be…" Jin growled but quickly dispersed any anger with smiles, "Don't be sad, Toy. Nothin' bad about havin' those eyes a' yours. Look at me, Toy. Look."

Touya gave into Jin's persuasion and peered up at Jin. The lantern's amber light danced in the blue sky of Jin's eyes and, to Touya's surprise, the light in Jin's eyes was brighter than the lantern's glow. But the light played with Jin's features and wild red hair well and even cast a softness to him, a softness he knew Jin was capable of showing but rarely so often did, preferring to express his emotions through endless bursts of energy, passion, and cheer. It took several moments for Touya to realize that Jin's softness was not all just a play of light and shadow however.

Jin wrapped his arms about Touya in a loose hug and never once broke contact from his eyes. And then he said softly, "A thousand years could pass between us now an' I'd nevah not once get tired a' lookin' into your eyes. Prettiest I evah seen, they are. First thing about ya that drew me to ya an' they still stun me. I wish they stayed around me so I could see them anytime I wanted ta, for the rest of me life. Been wishin' a whole lotta things a' lately…"

"Been wishin' your tribe wasn't so 'fraid a' ev'rythin'. That your tribe wasn't leavin'. That your tribe would just be friends with mine an' maybe join with ours an' let us be one big happy tribe. That we could dance again an' go flyin' an' show ya the sky's colors an' the stars an' all the flowers when they bloom."

"I been wishin' your tribe wasn't so mean ta ya. That they stopped makin' ya feel bad about yourself. That ya stayed so I could show ya all the things I wanted ta an' more an' made sure ya had a lot more fun an' smiled an' laughed more an' so I could always have your eyes ta look at anytime I wished an' so I could hold ya close an'—an' much more, Toy."

"Jin…" was all Touya could whisper in his awe.

"I guess what I be tryin' ta get at is this… I love ya, Toy."

Touya did not know what to think, much less to say. It was all too…confusing. His mind was thrown into a dizzying snowstorm. Jin loved him. Did he love him too? Touya was not certain. He tried to ask himself, delve into his many feelings for Jin but fear would wrench him away from any positive emotion. He did but did not. Touya knew it did not make much sense, a lot in his head wasn't making much sense, but it was how he felt at the moment.

Suppose he did love Jin, it would not work. He was leaving with his tribe soon. They would never see one another again. It would be pointless. It would only end in pain. And if his uncle was alerted of it, it would quite possibly end in death.

But as Jin pressed his lips to his, Touya was only thrown into a greater confusion. He tried to resist, raising his arms intending to push Jin away, but found his hands laying on Jin's shoulders, gripping his robes. Jin had his arms about him, keeping him close. His kiss was thorough and gentle, like a light breeze sweeping across his lips, full of love but holding back on his raw passion. Which was well enough for Touya, having trouble enough just with this soft kiss. A kiss from Jin as passionate as him would terrify him.

Touya was swamped in conflicting feelings. Jin's kiss stirred so many good feelings, but through his joy, Touya's fear clawed from its depths. The voice of his uncle as his consciousness was furious with him, damning him as a traitor and promising him he would suffer for his treachery if he did not push him away and run.

But Touya did not wish for Jin's kiss to end. He wanted to stay. He wished he could. His face was pink and flushed with warmth. His heart beat in fear and delight. There was still so much uncertainty in his mind but he did not want Jin's kiss to stop.

This could cost you your life, said his uncle's voice.

Touya was almost ready to toss all caution and let it be.

He was not sure if he or Jin was the one to initiate their parting but slowly Jin's lips and their softness and warmth lifted from his. Touya sat staring at Jin. His whole body was faintly trembling, from fear or Jin's kiss he could not be positive of which.

Jin drew Touya to rest on his chest and rubbed his back to help him settle down. "I know, I know," Jin whispered. "It's all sudden an' ya don't know. Things are all complicated an' don't ever seem ta get any bettah. No need ta tell ol' Jin right away. Be patient, I'll be. Swear I will. Just wanted ta tell ya how I felt 'bout ya. Say it again, I will. I love ya, Toy. I love ya."

Touya lay pressed against Jin's chest. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Say it, he ordered himself but nothing came.

He closed his eyes and lay in Jin's embrace, drawing in their warmth as he had before the other night after the party. As difficult and controlling as his life was, everything was so much simpler and carefree when he was with Jin. Unfortunately his world did not go away with one slip into Jin's arms. His warmth could not burn away all the cold of the Winter Tribe. And soon he would not have Jin to escape to.

Enjoy it while you still can, said his uncle's voice sardonically.

Not that it would, Touya wished his uncle's voice would shut up. He tried to toss it aside and focus on Jin but his uncle's voice was strong. It went away but it merely sat to the side, never really leaving and always ready to slide in to rebuke Touya at any time.

Jin's warmth and back rubbing nearly lulled Touya to sleep. He rose from Jin, his face red from being pressed against him. He rubbed an eye from drowsiness and then covered his hand over his mouth to stifle a quiet yawn.

"Sorry, I must have actually dozed off for a second."

"Ah, be all right with me, sleepyhead," Jin said through a partial laugh, as he brushed back the mark of the disgrace out of Touya's eyes. "Why don't ya come home with me? Take good care a' ya, I promise. Ya can have breakfast with all us in the mornin' an' there be plenty a' kisses in it for ya."

A vision of himself wrapped up in blankets falling asleep to Jin's kisses and massages was almost too tempting to resist but Touya knew he could not succumb to his imaginations.

"Thank you. It sounds wonderful," Touya said, wearing a sad smile, as Jin's grin beamed. "However, I could not be missing for that long a period of time. My uncle would search for me and no good would come of that."

Jin's grin fell. "But why, Toy? Don't give a damn 'bout your nasty uncle, I don't. He can go steppin' early in the mists for all I care. But why won't ya stay with me?"

Touya clasped Jin's hands together. "The risks do not outweigh the gifts. Splendid as they are. …I am sorry, Jin."

Jin wore an angry frown, all directed toward Touya's uncle, but his eyes were more sad and concerned. Jin sat staring into Touya's eyes, clearly trying to figure what to say that would convince him to go with him. But Touya would not be persuaded and Jin could see that. He dropped his head, gave a short nod in resignation, and put on a smile.

"S'okay, Toy. Wouldn't want ta getcha in trouble…" and Jin left it at that.

"Oh, he's already in a lot of trouble," Hyou said conceitedly.

Touya and Jin turned toward the sound of his voice but in the moonless night saw only his shadowy outline.

"I knew I would find you here," Hyou said, stepping just barely into the lantern's light to cast a flicker against his pale, pointed face and a glow into his gray eyes. "Even without your stink trail to follow."

Touya abruptly broke his clasp on Jin's hands and rose from his seat on the rock, "Hyou, what are you—"

"What am I doing? What are you doing?" Hyou narrowed his stare. "I warned you earlier but apparently you are only capable of listening to goop speech anymore."

Jin rose. At first, Touya thought he was going to slug Hyou again right then and there. But Jin stood, hands already into fists and his muscles tense. He scowled and shot Hyou a deep warning stare. One wrong word, that was all it would take.

Touya looked to Hyou with a plea in his eyes, "Please, do not—"

"Do what?" Hyou questioned haughtily. "You think you are of any position to order me, Touya?"

"Maybe he ain't," Jin said, his mouth contorting into a snarl. "But I'll drop your position if ya don't quit bullyin' Toy."

"You watch your mouth," Hyou glared at Jin and spoke as if he had just tasted a mouthful of bitter roots. "You have no idea who you are talking to."

"I know a piss-on when I see one," Jin said. "An' you're the one that should put an eye on your mouth. Last time I checked, you were one wailin' on the ground from a lil' tap a' me fist. Sure made your daddy proud then, didn'cha, arse-kisser."

A snap of disgust and rage crossed Hyou's face. "If my father were present—"

"Be a shame, he ain't. I'd love ta give him a matchin' shiner ta yours, I would. Too bad he's too scared a' ev'rythin'."

Hyou pulled back on his anger until he managed to put back on a cold mask. "He would slaughter you for your insolence. You and every last one of you filthy muck elves," Hyou said in an icy voice worthy of his father. "Touya! Come!"

"Toy…" Jin said as Touya walked past and held out arms. It was a slight gesture but a powerful enough of one for Touya.

He could run into Jin's arms and Jin could fly him out of Hyou's reach. Sure, his cousin could sling ice daggers at them but Jin was faster. He would have Touya up and out before Hyou even swung back his arm in position.

But then Hyou would run to his father and lie. His father would summon the elders and lie. Jin and the Spring Tribe would be in danger. Touya doubted his tribe cared about his fate, but his uncle would lie from Hyou's lies and twist it so it seemed the Spring Tribe attacked Hyou and kidnapped one of theirs, most likely withholding it was their disgrace that had been taken. An assault would be mounted. Then, as the Spring Tribe defended themselves, it would become a war.

As strong and warm as he knew Jin's arms were, Touya could not run into them. He turned away and kept walking, burying his sadness and longing under an impassive mask, and followed behind Hyou through the dark woods.

-o-

Touya's uncle showed few emotions. Disapproval was one. Anger was another. His uncle often confused the two emotions for the same. But even at his most wrathful, he never raised his voice, to do so would be too undignified, but instead sharpened his anger into a sword of ice able to cut through the harshest snowstorm.

Touya sat bowed, his forehead to the floor, in his uncle's reflection room. His uncle sat across from him and watched him, his ire growing behind cold eyes. Touya trembled under his uncle's stare. He knew why he had been summoned this time. Hyou had not said anything and neither had his uncle yet, but he had no doubt. Only one thing could have made Hyou grin so smugly when he came for him and his uncle so furious.

The sharp winter wind was blowing as his uncle spoke, "Hyou has informed me of the reason for your disappearances of lately, nephew. And I am not pleased to hear of it."

His uncle gave him the permission to rise. He did not want the permission, he did not want to face his uncle, but he had been told to rise. And so, reluctantly, Touya rose. His eyes remained to the floor. He gripped his hands to keep them from noticeably shaking, at least less so than the rest of him.

"We have taught you to think of yourself as insignificant so you do so. We ignore your presence when you are in attendance, yes, but that has apparently led you to believe that we would fail to notice if you go missing," his uncle paused and briefly closed his eyes. "We do not, nephew. We are always aware of when you make a lengthy departure."

Touya always knew his tribe kept an eye on him from time to time but had no idea his tribe, or at least his uncle, regarded him as such a potential threat as to actually retain a close watch on him. Touya had always thought that no one would notice when he was gone, that he would not be missed, that no one would care if he disappeared, as long as he was not gone for too long. It had always seemed to him like his tribe would be relieved to have him gone.

"Hyou tells me you have been associating with the other tribe. You have been fraternizing with one savage in particular."

"J-Jin, sir," Touya said hesitantly. "He is my friend."

His uncle grimaced in disgust. "You have no friends. And certainly none from the other tribe. He is manipulating you and you have fallen for his persuasions. He only wishes to bring harm to our tribe and you will allow him."

"No, sir," Touya hurried to speak. "He does not. None of the Spring Tribe wishes to harm us."

"Lies. You are blinded by his lies. Can you not see the mark your so-called friend has left on your cousin?"

Hyou deserved it, Touya thought, unable to bring himself to say it.

"You are weak. You have succumbed to the other tribe's lies. You have placed our tribe in untold amounts of danger and done unspeakable damage to our way of life. You have proved what an ugly disgrace you really are." His uncle said, peering down at him at an all-new level of contempt and repugnance Touya had thought impossible. "Remove your robes."

Touya stared saucer-eyed in fear. "Uncle! Sir! Please!"

"Remove your robes," his uncle ordered a second time and this time, Touya obeyed.

His uncle's reflection room swelled with the force of his uncle's power. Touya heard the sharp crack of ice as it formed thickly along the spaces in the shoji screen doors, effectively sealing the room from entrance or escape.

Touya plead with his uncle, appealing to his uncle's reason for he knew he had no kindness to call upon, but his uncle would have none of his words. His uncle sat poised and controlled with his eyes shut as he rose his power, ruffling his kimono sleeves and wafting his long hair but doing so without disturbing its sleek, orderly appearance.

"I informed you once of what happens to snowflake unsheltered by kind, however it is apparent that you did not learn anything and must be shown. By all means, nephew," his uncle's scowl turned up into a rare dark smile, "I will show you what it means to be alone and unprotected in our world."

His uncle jettisoned his power into a swift frozen wind. The blast punched Touya in the stomach and knocked him to the icy floor. There he lay as his uncle's blizzard rushed over him. He did not rise or summon his energy to defend himself—to do so would mean greater hurt, slow and calculated and intentionally drawn out. It was simply better to endure. Touya covered his face and curled up his legs to his chest and prepared to wait it out.

The hardened snowflakes swarmed around him, taking with them bits of his skin. It was a lesser punishment and far better than hailstones, but it was nonetheless excruciating. Parts of his skin were being gradually scraped away. Every scratch sent a jolt of pain through his body. And the snowflakes were hardly the last of Touya's problems. His uncle had wrapped him in a ball of icy wind. It blew furiously, blasting snowflakes about him, and blustered in his ears, deafening him to any sound but the wind.

Though he would have some resistance at first, his body temperature was lowering fast. Even a master of the art of ice manipulation could succumb to hypothermia, and Touya, a mere apprentice, was no exception. Touya shivered and drew his naked body, save for a bit of underwear which was no save at all, in as close as possible to conserve every scrap of body heat.

Snow piled around him. If it was not for his uncle's presence on the other side of the room, Touya could have sworn he was left exposed to die outside during one of the nightly blizzards that stormed throughout his tribe's stay in the village. His uncle's intention, he supposed.

Why is he not killing me? Touya wondered. By the laws of our tribe, I have done traitorous things. Why has my uncle not dragged me to the elders and petitioned for my execution? Why is he not killing me?

And then Touya realized he had already answered his question earlier. Because he does not wish me to die yet. I am of more use to him alive than dead. I am his scapegoat. I am his to be made to suffer. I cannot suffer if I am dead.

Touya lay, breathing heatless air onto his numb fingers. His skin was turning a faint blue. But he knew his uncle was not about to let him die. He would stop when he believed Touya had suffered enough. So Touya endured. And then bit into his lip to quiet his scream as a snowflake sliced across an already deeply-formed gash.

-o-

Jin lay awake in bed. No, Jin did not so much as lay in bed as perform tumbling acrobatics across his futon as he tried to fall asleep. But he just could not. Someone over on the Winter Tribe was outpouring a serious amount of energy again. It put a restless ache in Jin's bones and, as he lay twisting about, all he could think about was Touya. Jin didn't like having the two thoughts sitting side by side one another in his head. He didn't like the thought of the two having something to do with the other.

Jin kicked off his blankets and scowled at the ceiling. I've got half a mind ta fly over there an' carry Toy off, I do.

But Jin stayed. Much as he thought it was a good idea, he figured Touya would not agree. And even if Jin tried to persuade him afterwards to stay, Touya would only go back to his tribe. They had some sort of hold over him—the twist in his wind Jin sensed—that Jin had no power to break from Touya by himself. He needed Touya's help to do that.

Because there were some things one could only accomplish together and there were other things one could only do by oneself. And If Touya was going to stay with Jin, he would have to make that decision.