Alec

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, daydreaming of that week in Paris Magnus and I had. It felt like a life time ago. We walked down the streets of Paris holding hands, hugging and sometimes even kissing.

Now though, there would be no more hand holding, hugging or kissing all because of that stupid mistake. A mistake I made because I was too insecure, and now that stupid mistake has cost me the man I love. I know now that I could never have taken Magnus' immortality from him. I couldn't have, but entertaining the idea, even if only for a little while, cost me everything.

Now Im alone, lying in bed, regretting.

"Alec! Come on! Open the damn door!" Izzy was shouting through my bedroom door. I ignored her though and rolled onto my other side, pulling the duvet over my head. She must have drawn an opening rune on my door, though, because seconds later the duvet was being pulled from my body. I opened my eyes and glared at my sister.

"Oh come on, Alec! It's been three damn months! I get it, it hurts but you've got to move on," Izzy threw open my curtains and opened my bedroom window. The moment that first ray of sunlight hit my eyes, I hissed. I actually hissed. Like a cat. What is wrong with my life? Oh yeah, Magnus hates me. That's why I decided to do what im about to do. Only two more days, I just don't know how exactly to tell Jace or Izzy.

"We are going hunting at dusk. You're coming. You have no choice in the matter whatsoever," Izzy threw a quick grin over her shoulder before skipping out my bedroom door. With a quick glance at my alarm clock I confirmed that there was only half an hour until dusk.

I got my sorry ass out of bed (a bit of an accomplishment these days) and dressed in my dark Shadowhunting gear. I checked my weapons belt before attaching it around my waist. I slowly made my way downstairs to where my younger siblings waited. With a nod from Jace and an encouraging smile from Izzy we made our way out of the Institute and into the city.

Magnus

Three months. It's been three months and I still cannot get over my blue eyed little shadowhunter. I glanced around my loft and took note of the lack of bright colors. I wore no make-up, my hair lay limp, hanging to just above my shoulders and I wore a pair of dark, ratty pyjamas. No color, no sparkle, no extravagance.

I was beginning to realise that I couldn't live without my adorable, blue eyed shadowhunter. I should have realised he'd be insecure about my past relationships and my past in general. I should've known. If I had maybe none of this would have happened and we would still be together. But it had happened and now Alec and I were no longer together. God, I miss him so much!

I began to cry, a bit of a common occurrence nowadays, realising now that I'd given up the best thing in my life all because I'd refused to tell Alec about my past. Because really, looking back I realise that it is all my fault. Crying more intently now I curled up into a ball and sobbed pathetically over my incredible stupidity and the realisation of what I had lost. Alec.

Alec

Izzy, Jace and I had been fighting a nest of demons for almost three hours now. I was glad that Izzy had suggested that I come hunting with them, it took my mind of Magnus and allowed me to focus on more pressing matters like, for instance, not getting killed by a demon. Oh who exactly am I trying to fool? Magnus continues to occupy my thoughts even when im supposed to be concentrating on not getting killed. And it was those thoughts of Magnus that drew my focus from the fight at hand.

Somewhere within those three hours of non stop fighting I had lost track of Izzy and Jace. They weren't anywhere I could see and must have been drawn away just like I was, as I am now currently in a different alley than I began in. Six demons now surrounded me and I battled furiously in an attempt to take out the demons so I could find Jace and Izzy and make sure they were safe. But those green-gold cats eyes haunted my thoughts still and once again drew my focus from the fight. Almost immediately I regained my focus but far too late. A demon lashed out with its claws, raking deep gashes down my chest. Another demon aimed at my thigh, another my arm and collar bone and another my torso and stomach.

I lay now, bleeding at an alarming rate on the concrete ground. The demon poison burned through my veins and my vision began to blur. I turned my head slightly and in my rapidly fading vision caught the remaining six demons exiting the alley. A deep agonising pain was radiating through my body and I was becoming increasingly light headed at the amount of blood loss but I knew I could not stay here. I knew I was dying and need help quickly. I glanced at my surrounds taking in where exactly I was. I recognised it immediately as it was only a few blocks from Magnus' apartment. Knowing that even though he hated me, he was my only hope. And with that thought in mind I began to slowly drag myself along the ground towards Magnus' apartment.

Magnus

The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted my wallowing and self pity. I begrudgingly pulled my self from my couch and made my way over to the intercom.

"Hello?" my voice was gravely and incredibly unattractive but I didn't give a rat's horrid ass at the moment. I got no answer so shrugged my shoulders and decided to go on back to my pathetic one man pity party on the couch. The sound of the doorbell ringing again stopped me and I returned once more to the intercom.

"Hello?!" still I received no answer but by the third ring I was at the end of my patience.

"Oh for all that's good in this damn world would you give it up! Im tired and really not in any mood to be fucked about with," I screamed into the intercom but still there was no reply. Letting out a sigh of frustration I returned to my spot on the couch but the fourth ring of the doorbell had me storming out my apartment door and down the steps. Whoever was interupting my pity party was going to be seriously sorry they had when i was done with them.

Throwing open the door I was about ready to chew off someone's face but the crumpled body at the base of the steps had me halting. The body was curled in on itself and the mass of raven black hair covered the person's face. But I knew who it was immediately and my heart began to thud. I rushed forward and gently moved the hair out of Alec's face. His eyes were half closed and his face was bruised and dirty. His Shadowhunting gear was ripped to shreds and the long ugly claws marks that littered his body were alarmingly deep. I clutched my poor baby to my chest as I ran back up the steps to my apartment.

Alec

Magnus wasn't coming out and sounded pretty angry. I was slowly fading out of consciousness and couldnt speak. With one last ditch effort I rang Magnus' apartment once more before giving in to the looming darkness. The demon poison was slowly searing through my veins and I was drowning in the agony it caused. The sensation of being lifted barely registered through the agony but it still registered. I forced my eyes to open and saw with a great relief Magnus' pretty face above me. I smiled as I once more let the darkness consume me.

Magnus

He was dying. He was dying and all I could do was cry. My hands shook as I tried to heal him with magic but it wasn't working. I was panicking. He needed my help and I couldn't give it to him because the High Warlock of Brooklyn was panicking. I laughed bitterly to myself. Pull it together Magnus Bane, Alec needs your help so you had better bloody well help him. Alec began to mumble at first incoherently but then I began to pick out some words he said.

"Magnus...pretty...love him...love you Magnus...Im sorry"

I gasped, oh god, he still loved me. He still loved me! With now steady hands I began the process of healing my injured shadowhunter.

Alec

I woke up and took in the familiar surroundings. Magnus' apartment. The nights events came back to me in a sudden flash and I remembered how I got here in the first place. I glanced over and found a sleeping Magnus in the chair beside the all too familiar bed. He was probably really mad that he had to use up his strength healing my sorry ass and I figured it best that I leave. I quietly got up of the bed and my way silently towards the living room. I found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote out a quick thanks to Magnus before making my escape. I didn't think I could face him knowing how much he hates me and how much of an inconvenience it must have been for him to heal me.

Once outside I made my way back to the Institute. Upon arrival I was quizzed by my apparently very worried siblings.

"Guys really im fine," I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Then where in the Angel's name were you!" cried Izzy. "We were so worried."

"I got hit in the head. I must have passed out after the adrenaline wore off. Relax guys im fine, see, not a scratch," I spread my arms wide, spun round in a circle then made my way to my room. Once in my room I threw myself face first onto my bed where I cried till I fell asleep.

Magnus

I woke up and found myself staring at an empty bed. At first I was confused and then I remembered.

"Alec!" I searched my apartment frantically for my blue eyed beauty but he was nowhere to be found. I ran my hands through my hair before sighing and slumping down onto the couch. It was there I noticed the note on my coffee table.

Dear Magnus,

I realise that you're probably angry that you had to deal with my sorry ass. Im sorry you wasted your time and energy healing me but thank you. I know you hate me but I wanted to apologise Magnus, so here goes. Magnus im so sorry for what I did to you, I regret it every day and will regret it for the rest of my sorry excuse of a life. But I want you to know that I wasn't going to do it, Magnus, I couldn't have done it if I tried. I just wanted to know more about you. Anyway im so sorry that I violated your trust and I promise you that you won't ever have to see me again. You see I haven't told anyone yet but I've requested a transfer to another Institute in another city. I leave tomorrow so I won't be bothering you or anyone anymore. So this is goodbye Magnus.

I'll love you always,

Alexander x

Tears began to drop onto the piece of paper as Alec's words began to sink in. He thought I didn't love him, that I hated him. He was leaving and all because of me. The tears began to fall harder, faster.

No! I cant let him leave. I love him too much to just let him walk away thinking that I don't love him and that I hate him. With a strange new determination I got up of the couch, grabbed my keys of the table, threw on my coat and ran out the apartment.

I ran as fast and hard as I could to the Institute stopping only when I arrived at the door. I pounded on the large oak door of the Institute like a mad man before the door was opened to reveal an extremely irritated Isabelle.

"What do you want Warlock," she spat.

"Where...is Alec," I wheezed out. "I've...got to...talk to him...please!"

"Don't you think you've done enough damage?"

"I love him, Izzy! And seeing him laying nearly dead on my doorstep last night made me realise I couldn't keep crying on my couch the rest of my life. It made me realise that I want him back so much. Please let me talk to him, Izzy, before he leaves, just so I can tell him I love him," the tears were streaming down my cheeks once more.

"W-w-what do you mean, nearly dead?! And leaving?! What the hell Magnus!" I took Alec's note out my pocket and shoved it at her.

"He came to me last night, near death. I found him unconscious and dying on my doorstep. I healed him but when I woke up he was gone and all that he left was this note. Please, Izzy, let me see him," I was outright sobbing now but I didn't care. I wanted to see Alec. To hold him and kiss him and tell him how much I love him.

"He was hurt? Oh, God! And he was planning on transferring!? Why didn't he tell us?" Izzy was crying now too.

"I don't know, Iz, honest I don't."

"Magnus?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you promise me you love him? That you wont ever hurt him again?" I nodded.

"Yes, Iz, of course I do."

"Good, because if you ever hurt him like this again, I will come after you...with a knife. Now go tell my brother you love him and convince him to stay," I laughed and hugged her hard before making a run for Alec's room. Wow, running twice in one day. You know your special if im running for you because Magnus Bane does not run.

I skidded to a halt outside Alec's room. I knocked gently.

"Go 'way Izzy, Im not in the mood," came Alec's muffled reply.

I gently opened his door and closed it quietly behind me before making my way to sit on the edge of his bed.

"Izzy what did I tell you!" Alec got up and turned around only to freeze when he saw me. I smiled.

"Hi Alec."

Alec continued to stare at me for a few more seconds before he began to talk.

"Look im really sorry for bothering you last night but I had no where to go and you were the closest. I didn't want to die. Well that's not exactly true, I did want to die, still do, but I couldn't do that to Jace and Izzy or my parents especially after Max. Im really sorry Magnus. Im leaving though so you wont have to worry about me being in you hair any more," I gasped. He had wanted to die? Because of me?

"Oh, Alec, baby, why would you want to die?"

"B-b-because you hate me and I couldn't live knowing that you did and that it was all my fault!" he began to cry now. The tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked at me. My broken little shadowhunter. I drew him to me and let him cry on my shoulder.

"I don't hate you, Alec. Honey, I love you. I always have. And what happened wasn't you fault, it was mine. I overreacted and I should have known, should have trusted you more and I should have told you about my past. I know now that it was unfair to keep things from you especially after you trusting me with all your secrets and im really sorry Alec," I kissed the top of his head and squeezed him tighter.

"Don't go, Alec," I whispered into his hair. "Please don't go." I was crying softly myself now as I held Alec close to me. He drew back slightly, wiped my tears away with the pad of his thumb and smiled slightly.

"I love you, Magnus." I laughed and pulled him back to me.

"I love you too, Alec."

Ok, so this has to be the longest oneshot i've ever witten. Be proud. This Oneshot was beta'd by Hearts a Heavy Burden because she rocks and puts up with my crazy obsessivness. So thank you Kayleigh, you is awesome :D dont know what i'd do without you.

I would like to point out that i know i said that the Institute had a "large oak door". i know thats wrong as it's actually an elevator but it suited the story line better. Sorry but that minor detail was bugging me.

Reviews are much appreciated. I'd love some feedback on what you thought. My beta and i both agreed that there was something missing from this oneshot but we couldnt really figure it out so i posted it anyway. If anyone figures out what was missing review and let me know and i'll fix it and post it again after fixing it.

This oneshot was started in my Modern Studies class at school because i got bored and figured that this was a more important use of my time.

Hope you enjoyed the oneshot,

Hannah Luzha :D x