Episode 3

Today on The Pokémon Special, so much is happening. Drama will rise as the crew realizes the air conditioner breaking down does the opposite of making things hotter! With a new segment or two, things will definitely be cool! In fact, you'll stop cold laughing! So, let's get on with it before it starts snowing. Get ready for The Pokémon Special!!

[Audience cheers as stage lights up; Jade and Garnet not in their chairs]

Background Voice: Where are they?

???: HELP!!

[Jade and Garnet fall from ceiling into seats]

Jade: Okay, who let out their Hypno!? Honestly, hypnosis doesn't make humans go to sleep…

Garnet: Where are we? How did we get here?

[Opal runs out]

Opal: Guys, you're in the show. Now be good hosts!

[Jade and Garnet looks at camera with /o_o\ eyes while Opal runs out]

Garnet: …Eep?…

Jade: …Eek?…

Garnet: …Segment?…

Jade: …Yes?…

Garnet: …Now?…

Jade: …Please?…

---

[Keira, Dexter, and Jordan wave at camera]

Keira: It's time for the Contest Digest!! Today we're discussing the Pokémon Milotic, which is famous for evolving from Feebas with the help of a maximum Beauty Stat.

Jordan: To get Milotic, you have to feed… feed… Brrr, it's cold! I thought the air conditioning was broken, not the heater!

Dexter: Well, when they said the air conditioning broke, they meant it was stuck on full-blast.

Keira: Good thing we all brought our parkas, huh?

Jordan: …Parkas?…

[Dexter and Keira put on parkas]

Jordan: Why didn't you guys tell me to bring a parka!?

Keira: Dexter was supposed to…

[Jordan turns and glares at Dexter]

Dexter: Who's the "Baldo" now, punk!?

Jordan: …you are.

[Dexter looks at camera nervously]

Dexter: Oh yeah, I am.

[Keira sweat-drops and looks at camera]

Keira: Anyways, back to Milotic! To get it, first get a Feebas…

[Dexter swings arm at Jordan and misses]

Keira: …Then, depending on whether you're in Hoenn or Sinnoh…

[Jordan hits button on remote and dramatic music starts playing]

Keira: …you go to Hearthome City or any Contest Hall in Hoenn, but I suggest Lilycove City…

[Dexter pulls out a white glove and hits Jordan on cheek with it]

Keira: …There you either make a Pokéblock or Poffin, with beauty-raising attributes…

[Jordan slaps Dexter with purple glove]

Keira: …And feed them to your Feebas until its beauty stat is maximized.

[Dexter and Jordan have glove slap fight]

Keira: You'll know its' full when it won't take anymore, or screams…

[Glove slap fight continues; Keira takes a deep breath]

Keira: ENOUGH ALREADY!! WILL YOU STOP BEING SO IMMATURE!?

[Keira keeps screaming at top of her lungs while Jordan and Dexter stop fighting]
Dexter: MY EARS!!

Jordan: KEIRA STOP!!

[Keira stops screaming and smiles innocently]

Keira: Thank you for watching Contest Digest. Next time, be sure to watch again!

[Contest Digest Logo appears]

Jordan: …Why didn't the logo appear earlier?

Dexter: It was supposed to be turned on by the camera guy.

Keira: …Let's just go now. Bye! Back to Jade and Garnet!

---

[Jade, Garnet, and Opal are wearing parkas in their seats]

Jade: This is not normal!

Opal: Look, it's not that bad…

Garnet: There are ice Pokémon skating in the backstage area!

Opal: …Okay, it's a little bad. But it's not freezing in here, is it?

Audience: YES IT IS!!

[Opal looks at camera with T_T eyes]

Jade: I'm going to search for some fire Pokémon to help us. Maybe there are still some left!

Garnet: I doubt it.

[Jade runs out with Poké Balls in hands]

Garnet: So, our guest supposed to be a ranger from Summerland, but he left. So instead…

[Garnet turns to look at Opal]

Opal: Not me…

Garnet: Go ahead and tell everyone about berries!!

Opal: But I'm not a gardener…

Garnet: Yes, but right now we can use some comedy, right?

[Audience cheers and Opal looks at him with /o_o\ eyes]

Opal: Uh, well… I don't have any berries!

[Audience boos and throws berries at her; Garnet hands her Cheri Berry]

Garnet: And now you do!

Opal: …I hate you. Um, let's see…

[Pulls out same berry book as first show]

Opal: Apparently this is a… Mysteryberry. It helps Pokémon recover Power Points, or PP, in battle. And…

[Audience laughs as she continues]

Garnet: Thanks, we really needed that.

Opal: Why, don't you know about berries?

[Audience laughs again]

Garnet: …Uh, no, not really. That was really helpful. But next time, use "Sinnoh Berry Guide" instead, though. That would be much more helpful.

Opal: …Thanks?

Garnet: And now for the next segment, Pokémon News!

---

[Pokémon News logo appears over Gabby's head]

Gabby: This is Gabby, live from Snowpoint City, here to learn about the mysterious Temple. All we know is that it's forbidden to enter, so we're going to sneak inside for more information.

[Gabby walks to the Temple door and tries to go in but is stopped by guard]

Guard: Ma'am, only the leader Candice and Ice Pokémon are allowed inside.

Gabby: Darn…

[Gabby walks away sadly; pulls out Poké Ball when out of sight]

Gabby: Go, Ditto!

[Ditto pops out of ball and looks at her]

Gabby: Okay, Ditto, transform into Candice and go in the Temple with this camera, okay?

Ditto: Ditto?

Gabby: Yes, it's perfectly legal!

Ditto: Ditto dit ditto?

Gabby: Because I'm not allowed in. Now go on, get some footage for me!

[Cell phone rings and Gabby answers]

Gabby: Hello?

[In the Studio…]

Jade: Gabby, you're not allowed there!! Go away from there and get some other story.

Gabby's Voice: Like what?

Jade: Interview that sailor who takes people to the Battle Frontier or something!

Gabby's Voice: Wait, I've got just the person…

[Camera switches back to Gabby at the Pokémon Center with Maylene]

Gabby: Maylene, how are you? Why are you here? Do you have any interesting things to tell us?

Maylene: …Um, can you stop asking so many questions? I'm just here to visit Candice, and—

[Maylene sneezes and Gabby hands her a tissue]

Maylene: Sorry about that. I'm just sneezing a lot more lately…

Gabby: You're not dressed very well for the snowy weather… Do you think you have a cold?

Maylene: No! No, I'm fine! It's just my allergies, that's all.

Gabby: What are you allergic to?

Maylene: …Uh, I forget. I think it's hay fever?

Gabby: …Are you sure you don't have a cold?

Maylene: Yes, I am. Why?

Gabby: Because hay fever is an allergy to flowers, and there's not many flowers around here.

Maylene: Well, maybe I…

[Random guy goes to counter and talks to fat nurse with big hair]

Guy: Nurse, think I have a cold…

[Nurse gasps and pulls out a microphone]

Nurse: OH NO! PEOPLE, CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

Guy: Wait, what are you talking about?

[Chansey runs over with rolling exam bed-thingy and shoves him on it]

Nurse: Listen kid, it's all gonna be alright… We'll take good care of you…

[Chansey pushes exam bed-thingy away with guy staring at her with /o_O\ eyes]

Nurse: Oh, he's so young. I hope he's alright…

[Nurse notices Gabby and Maylene looking at her with /o_o\ eyes]

Nurse: What are you two looking at?

Gabby & Maylene: Nothing…

[Nurse walks away]

Gabby: On second thought, you've never looked better!

Maylene: Yeah, you too! …Oh, look at the time. I'm late! I better get going to the Gym now.

Gabby: Yeah, and I'm late to get to the… Studio! Yeah, the studio. Eh heh…

[Awkward silence]

Maylene: …So, bye?

Gabby: Yeah, bye!

[They start to leave and Gabby sneezes; fat nurse runs over]

Nurse: OH MY GOSH!! ANOTHER CODE BLUE!!! CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

[Gabby and Maylene scream and run away; camera drops on floor and shows Nurse's feet chasing everyone else's feet away]

---

[Jade and Garnet look at camera with /o_o\ eyes]

Jade: …That nurse scared me.

Garnet: Yeah, me too…

[Screen behind them still showing chase scene]

Nurse's Voice: HURRY, THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!

[Jade digs into bag while smiling at audience and pulls out the remote]

Garnet: Uh, do you guys want to keep watching that?

[Audience screams and Jade presses button on remote while smiling at them with /o_o\ eyes]

Jade: Guess not! Eh heh heh… We'll check up on them later…

Garnet: …Yeah, after the psycho nurse leaves…

Jade: Anyways, let's go to our guest today, Candice!!

[Audience cheers as Candice enters; Candice slips and slides over to blue chair and somehow slides onto it upside down]

Candice: This place is more slippery than my gym…

[Garnet helps her get up and she sits normally]

Jade: Yeah, the air conditioning broke…

Candice: I thought that would make it hotter!

Garnet: So did we…

[Audience laughs]

Jade: So, Candice, we've been wondering about your team in the Pokémon games. In Diamond and Pearl, you had a Sneasel, Snover, Medicham, and Abomasnow. In Platinum, you keep Sneasel and Abomasnow and add Piloswine and Froslass. Why?

Candice: The Pokédex in Diamond and Pearl had only 151 Pokémon in the National Dex, but it was changed to 210 in Platinum. I changed the Pokémon so I could have two Pokémon from the updated National Dex, and also used it as an excuse to get a new strong Pokémon for my team.

Garnet: That's so cool!

[Jade hits him on back of head]

Jade: Please, no more puns about the temperature!! The introduction had too many!!

Candice: I know! I get waay too many puns at the gym, too. So does every gym leader…

Garnet: Can you tell us some?

Candice: Well, now that you mention it…

[Candice reaches into bag and pulls out a heavy-looking big book]

Jade: That looks really heavy!

Candice: Trust me, this thing isn't as heavy as it looks. It's much worse.

Garnet: Need any help?

Candice: No, I think I got it…

[Candice puts book on small glass table in front of her and table shatters]

Candice: …I'll pay you for that.

Jade: Nah, don't worry. The table was an ice sculpture we made earlier.

Candice: …There's not even enough to do that at my gym, and it's full of ice!

Garnet: We know. Tell that to our producers, though. They think this is funny.

Candice: …Okay. Anyways, this book is full of terrible puns we gym leaders hear on a regular basis. We compiled all the best and worse ones to send to other gyms that specialize in our types.

Jade: …That book's all about ice-type puns?

[Candice nods and heaves it into her bag]

Garnet: Can we borrow it? Maybe we can teach the audience the puns to tell our producers!

Audience: YEAH!!!

Candice: Okay, sure… I'll give it to you in a little bit.

Jade: Until then, it's time for a new segment, Crystal's Catch!

---

[Crystal waves at camera and "Crystal's Catch" logo appears]

Crystal: I'm Crystal, and this is Crystal's Catch, a segment about catching Pokémon! Today I'm going to tell you about how to catch the Pokémon Combee. Combee is very coveted, and you use honey to get it. Now where do we get honey? From this guy!

[Crystal pulls Honey Guy into camera shot]

Crystal: So Honey Guy, how do we get honey?

Honey Guy: Either find it around Sinnoh, or buy it from me!

Crystal: Interesting. Now, tell us about Combee.

Honey Guy: Oh, Combee is popular because the females evolve into Vespiquen, while the males never evolve. Dun, dun, dun!!!

[Crystal glances at camera with T_T eyes]
Crystal: …So, tell us where to put the honey.

Honey Guy: Well, there are brownish trees all over Sinnoh. When you get there, you slather on some sweet, sweet Sweet Honey and wait a while. If you're lucky, you'll get a girl Combee. If you're not, you'll either get a boy Combee or a random Pokémon you don't want.

Crystal: …Girl Combee have a red mark on the forehead of the bottom face. Boys don't.

Honey Guy: And the Pokémon you don't want won't have a red mark either!!

[Crystal slowly turns to camera with T_T eyes]

Crystal: Right. Anyways, that's how to get a Combee. Later people!

---

[Jade and Garnet still looking at screen]

Jade: She needs to practice her length.

Garnet: Yeah, but we love her! Right everyone?
[Audience cheers]

Jade: Well, we're almost out of time anyway.

Garnet: And remember folks, what do you think of this episode?

Audience: It was so "cool", we cheered until you told us to "freeze"!

Garnet: That's right!

Jade: …We had to do that to annoy our producers. Anyways, special thanks to Candice for giving us some of her puns! Thanks, guys!

Garnet: Now night everyone! Let the puns roll on without freezing!

[Audience laughs]

End Episode 3