Tea at Fancyson Manor

by Hg Muffin-Stuff

Requests

He eased into the spa, and once he had grown quite relaxed, Squilliam approached, said, "Hey, Squiddy, mind if I come in?"

Squidward waved him in, said, "Sure, why not?"

"Hey, Squiddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind doing me a favor?" Squilliam asked, stroking Squidward's nose.

"Anything you want," said Squidward dreamily, starting to giggle at Squilliam's tickling motions.

"Would you mind if I - sat in your lap?"

"Not at all."

Squilliam bristled with excitement and leaned against Squidward, pulling his hands over his shoulders as he hoisted himself on top of Squidward, breathing softly yet rapidly against his chest. "You smell like lilac, Squidward."

"I do; it's my scented-"

"I love it."

"Are you sure? It's crappy poor-people soap."

"It works on you."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Yes, I swear."

"Why do you care what I smell like anyway, Squilliam? What does it matter to you?"

"It's nice when we're close, to be able to smell nice things together, doncha think, Squiddy? Isn't that why you used that lilac soap?"

"And why you used that lavender cologne?"

"You noticed!"

"How could I not? It's very distinctive." Squilliam started to massage Squidward's shoulders, and they sank further into the bubbly spa. After a few minutes, Squidward groaning a few times in pleasure, Squilliam grew anxious and scarcely able to contain himself any longer.

"Squilliam, why are you doing all this for me? Why aren't you hissing the second I look your way, or calling me a loser?" Before Squilliam could process the question, however, he'd already begun sucking on Squidward's neck, forcing a gasp and a tiny squeal out of Squidward before he moaned a small bit and then tried to gently push Squilliam away, his head turned, face flushing.

Squilliam chuckled, touching Squidward's cheek. "It's always fun making out with you, Squiddy. The sounds you make are so delicious I could eat them for breakfast."

"That's the only reason you invited me over? You wanted to make me moan for you?"

"I invited you because I wanted to reminisce with you. However, when you look so sexy, I can't keep my suction cups off you, now can I?"

"You think I look sexy? I mean, Squilliam, stop touching me there!" Squilliam was stroking Squidward's thighs with several tentacles as he spoke. Squidward pushed him roughly away. "What kind of pervert are you, anyway?"

"The kind you'd like to fuck." Squidward gulped in intimidation. Squilliam was the definition of smooth-talker.

"Squilliam, I don't - I don't do that kind of thing." Squilliam smirked.

"That's not what it sounded like at band camp when you screamed for me in that secluded meadow on the hilltop. Eh, Squiddy?"

"That was different. Back then I thought I might actually - I only do that with people I love." Squidward crossed his arms and looked the other way.

"I understand. You must not get much action." Squidward grumbled. Squilliam nodded. "Mm-hm. Precisely. Such a shame, too. Nice piece of ass like that shouldn't get neglected. I would play with yours every day if you gave me the chance."

"Squilliam, would you stop hitting on me?!"

"I don't know. Would you stop pretending you don't like it?"

"Okay, so maybe I like the attention a little, but I really don't want to sleep with you. You might be hot, but I'd feel dirty afterward."

"We could take a bath. Would you feel less dirty if we did that?"

"NO! I'd feel dirty because you're a dirty bastard, and I don't care how much I want to fuck you, I refuse to degrade myself to the point of having sex with someone who publicly humiliates me for kicks."

"Please, please, Squiddy, please. I know I've done some bad things, and I need to be punished, desperately."

Squidward bit his lower lip. "Squilliam, don't hurt me like this."

"How am I hurting you? All you have to do is say, 'oh, yes, baby, I'll take you now,' and all that pain will go away."

"You know I can't do that."

"Of course you can, darling."

"Just...just shut up, okay?" Squidward said, tearfully, as he lifted himself out of the spa and marched toward the elevator in the nude, snatching his clothes as a waiter reached out with them.

"Sheesh, what's got up his ass lately?" Squilliam said, eating one of Squidward's half-eaten scones in a single bite.