A/N: It's here! Entry Three. Seriously, guys, I am so glad that you like to read this so much. I was honestly worried that you wouldn't like it xD In case you think I'm a super-duper amazing and hilariously funny while still retaining my character's personality and you want to read more fun stuff, I've posted most of the stuff I wrote while I was on vacation in British Columbia/Washington State and at camp. Not NEARLY all of it is up, but there are like ten one-shots and a few multi-chapters. Well, anyway, this takes place in the middle of Bargaining, parts one and two, after the Scooby meeting where Willow says they're going to bring Buffy back. Well, that's when the journal entry is from. As you know, Xander's reading it post-Season Seven. Not in line with the comics. But you guys told me that you like Anya hating on Dawn… so I'm piling on the Dawn-hate in this one ;-) xD Even though I love Dawn. I'm finding her flaws and emphasizing them through Anya. Yay! xD
Anya's Personal Thoughts
Entry Three
Moving on to the third entry in this little book that is quickly taking over my life, I pause and think about how lucky I am. After she killed Angel, Buffy didn't stick around long enough to find his journal, even though she knew he kept one. After Tara died, Willow turned evil and wasn't really concerned with Tara much anymore. Besides, I'm pretty sure Tara didn't keep a journal or a diary.
I'm the only one of us with anything to hold on to.
And that's what I'm doing, I realize. Just clinging to Anya's diary, praying that I don't fall from the cliff that I'm hanging off of. Because if I fall, I'll go down, down, down, where no one, not even my best friends, can find me again.
All right, I'll can the metaphorical crap. The point is, if I lost this journal or read something in it that even suggested that Anya didn't love me as much as I loved her, I might have to kill myself. Even so, even though I know the pain and misery that it can cause me, I can't stop reading. I have to know her thoughts, feelings, just as she always seemed to know mine.
She has to live on through me.
I'm the only one she's got.
"Tomorrow night, we meet here. We're bringing Buffy back."
Or, you know, something stupid like that.
Willow is a complete and total idiot. Remember how I said that Xander was an idiot sometimes? Well, Willow is ALWAYS an idiot.
We're bringing Buffy back from the dead. I mean, I was all for it at the beginning of the summer. I still am. But it isn't time yet! I don't think any of us are ready to do what we'll need to do if something happens while she's coming back. What if she's a zombie or even some kind of vampire? The Powers that Be are really big on poetic justice like that. Buffy killed all those vamps and demons and then she comes back as one and we have to stake her.
I think we should tell Spike and Giles, too. Not Dawn, because she tried to bring Joyce back and it didn't exactly work and the little brat thinks that just because she can't do something means that no one can do it. But Spike loves Buffy with all of his heart. Sure, it would be the surprise of all surprises when she walked through the front door and didn't great him with an overly-cheerful "Hello Spike, the monsters of Sunnydale cower from your strong, amazingly tough fighting skills!", but still. He might, like, go into shock or something. And Giles… is there such a thing as British shock? He would be continuously mechanically cleaning his glasses and saying, "Oh, dear lord!" and we'd be out of teabags by the time he came to his senses.
But Dawn doesn't deserve to know. She's so annoying and stupid and I wish she would just explode and never come back. She's really starting to get on my nerves now. Plus, she's been stealing stuff from the Magic Box for months and she thinks I don't notice. Well, I do, and she's going to pay for it with her LIFE. A life of cleaning and working and paying back what she took. With interest.