You really need to stop passing out; this is getting ridiculous. Who knows how long it's been since you mentally checked out, either way you're finally coming back to the land of the conscious. Your senses are mercifully muffled from grogginess. Still, you can hear at least two voices speaking in hushed whispers on either side of you. You're not one to be sneaky, but since you have no idea who these people are, or why they stuck around for you, maybe it's best if you learn a bit about them before signaling that you're awake.

You realize suddenly that your head is lolling, and that you can feel your feet dragging against the ground. Okay… Why the hell are these people dragging you? Where are they taking you? More uneasiness settles in your stomach. Listening in on their conversation only makes you more confused.

"You understand that we need to get help, correct? Though you are quite capable in a variety of situations, I believe this may be a bit more than either of us can handle." This voice sounds female. It's calm and collected, a polar opposite to its partner, who replies. You've already heard the second speaker's voice once before. Now that you're more awake, you can hear a slight drawl as he speaks.

"Dude, I'm not that dumb. As much as I hate to stop your sensational jack-off to the analyzing of my 'independent spirit,' or whatever the hell you call it, I know when something's too big to deal with on my own. And Houston, we have a major fucking problem." There's a moment of silence before he continues, "The other guys will probably be more than happy to help."

"It's a delight to know that you agree. Though, next time don't interrupt me while I'm pleasing myself. There aren't many things to get off on these days, and you know how attracted I am to this 'analytical bullshit,' as you dubbed it." Woah, she's heavy on the sarcasm. Your other captor (you guess?) snorts before speaking again.

"Di-Stri and Rolal—" it takes all your willpower not to laugh out loud when he says this, why would anyone want to be called that, "-will probably piss themselves in excitement when they see our new pal, they've got no common sense when it comes to danger. Then again, none of us do. Anyways… How much further until we get to the town? We've been walking for what, half and hour, and this guy isn't getting any lighter."

He emphasizes this by jostling you and it seems that the ache you had been experiencing prior to your dramatic blackout didn't stop being a thing. Before you can stop yourself you let out a gasp. Damn it, your cover's been blown. You jerk to stand upright and flail your arms around until you are released, then you take several paces backwards. Your left arm doesn't appreciate the action, and it takes everything to stop from wincing. Show no weakness, John. Show no weakness.

"Looks like somebody decided to stop impersonating Roxy during a hangover."

"Wha—"

"Ignore him. I would apologize for you being given such a rude awakening, but you honestly were getting rather heavy. Do you think you can walk?"

"Uh, sure, but I'm not going anywhere until someone explains what you two are doing—"

There's a flash and suddenly you're being pressed against a tree with someone's warm breath heating up your throat. The male portion of your kidnapping duo is pushing against you and for some reason the only question in your mind is about why he's wearing shades when it's already so dark down here. You open your mouth to ask when he slaps his hand over it and mouths for you to SHUT. UP.

You can almost imagine him seeing the countless question marks floating above your head when a twig snaps nearby. Then there's muttering. You don't know whether to push this guy off you and run towards the sound of voices (they could possibly help you), or stay here with these crazy people and see what happens. Your muscles are tensing when the other boy mouths something to you again, but this time it's a different message. TRUST ME. He looks like he's pleading. It takes you a second to nod your head a minimal amount. Something about his face screams desperation—not for himself, but for you. He's dragged your butt this far, so you might as well do him a favor and stick around.

The mutters are getting closer, and it sounds like a large group of people. You can pick out some of the words being said.

"Are you sure that—"

"Didn't you hear him shouting?"

"There was a sighting—"

"—God-awful bright yellow shirt, it's got to be—" You glance down at your soiled Prospitian shirt. Wait… Are they talking about YOU?

"—We need to find him, she'll get pretty pissy if we don't."

"Let's try going this way."

The voices fade off, and you let out a giant breath you hadn't known you'd been holding. The other guy clears his throat before grabbing the hem of your shirt and starting to pull it off. Well, you guess it's in both of your best interests to get this thing off, now. That crowd didn't sound like they were there to be your welcoming committee.

You help him by lifting your arms, proud of yourself when let out only a miniscule whine as the shirtsleeve catches on your bad limb. The boy doesn't say anything about it, so you think he didn't notice. Great, now you're not only down a pair of glasses, but a shirt as well. You hope you aren't going to lose your pants in the near future, too.

What's-his-name peers out from behind the tree and in a hushed tone calls out, "Rose! You there?" There's some rustling and the girl—you mean Rose steps out and brushes herself off.

"I'm fine. No reason to get your undergarments in a twist, David. I am more than capable in those kinds of situations."

"Oh, fantastic, apparently such a close call didn't even slightly knock down that snarky-broad attitude."

You step out from your hiding place in hopes of stopping the banter before it actually begins. Their gaze switches over to you, and they settle down, thank god.

"So… Can either of you guys explain why there are people looking for me?" Wow, your voice is wavering all over the place, this is embarrassing. The two look over at each other and seem to come to a silent agreement. Rose steps forward and places a hand on your right shoulder.

"I hate keeping you in the dark, but everything is rather uncertain at the moment and we'd prefer to get you somewhere not quite as dangerous before explaining this entire mess. " You hold back a sigh, you want answers, but it seems you won't be getting them for a while.

"I don't believe we ever had a formal introduction, though I guess there wasn't really time for one in the first place. Anyways, I'm Rose Lalonde, and this is my cousin, Dave Strider." Dave casually tilts his head up in a greeting, as if he hasn't already broke the ice by pressing you up against a tree and bursting your personal bubble.

"Um, well, I'm John Egbert! Nice to meet you guys, I guess." You pause, wait a moment, and then keep going. "I know you're not going to be answering many of my questions right now, but can you at least tell me where I am, exactly?"

Rose opens her mouth to answer but Dave beats her to the punch.

"Welcome to Derse, land of the purple pajama-clad dickheads. Enjoy your stay, bro."