Chapter two: Notice

Tsk…

Seriously, tsk,….

Why? Oh…why? WHY THE HELL that some of the words in chapter two are missing? Particularly the SCREAMING PARTS! What the hell ? Afraid of some noisy neighbors? Haha.. just kidding let's make peace, not war. . But seriously, someone got to fix that…

About chapter three: I' really sorry for the very very very late update… tsk. Hehehe. OTL

Chapter III

Women Are Not the Only One with Complicated Minds

Kagura landed on Sougo with painful thud, "Ouch!" As luck may have it, with some help of Physics which I can't possibly explain, the last rope that holds the elevator didn't broke. But the electricity that provides them a light before was now cut off.

In the pitch-black darkness, Kagura pinned Sougo to the ground. Both of her hands gripping hard on his shoulders, like pushing him away (or pushing herself away), just to keep their bodies from touching.

Though as awkward as their position is, none of them move an inch, fearing that if they do, Sa-chan's ancestors, the deities of ropes, will snap their last thread of hope.

"Great! China! Just Great! You should an A+ for stupidity", Said Sougo in full-blast sarcasm.

No response.

"You know, if you really want to die that badly you could have just told me, and not tangling my innocent self on your moronic suicide."

She flinched a bit on the 'innocent' term, but then again, no response.

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"You can quit the Yoruzuya. Be a moron. You're good at that."

No response.

"-or an explorer your stupidity can get you anywhere."

No response.

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"Pea brain!"

"…"

"Skullhead!"

"…"

"Nincompoop!"

"…"

"DUMB! IDIOT! MORON! STUPID! BIRD-BRAIN! BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"…"

…

"OW! China! Ow! I think I lost my arm! OW!" *vomit sounds* "My kidney! I just vomit my kidney! HEY! HEY STUPID! Biggest loser! Weakest link! ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

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No response. Whatsoever.

He slapped her.

"HEY! WHAT D'YOU DID THAT FOR!"

"Oh, China. I'm disappointed. You're alive?... and you can talk?"

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No response.

He slapped her again.

"HEY!"

Sougo let out a murderous aura. "Respond- or you'll end up in a body bag."

"J- just shut up."

"You're the idiot here, you can't tell me what to do."

Kagura gripped harder on his shoulders, crushing him. – in response.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

=on the other side=

"It's no good. The old man is still constipating." Kondo said, panting.

"Just how big his large intestine is? We have no choice then. Shinpachi move, I will force-open that blasted elevator!"

"No, Gin-san! What if the elevator will truly fall once you burst it open?"

"What do you want me to do? Pray for that toilet to suck that old man's feces? That's not that easy you bastard!"

"Glasses is right. With that loud crash, even their light was probably cut off, we can't take any chances." Hijikata said just to see a trio of WTF faces in front of him.

Keywords:

Girl

Boy

Alone

Lights off

Thunder

Lightning

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"Ha… Haha… That can't be, I mean… haha… its Okita-kun and Kagura we're talking about here. I mean… there is no way…" Gintoki looks like he is half-bothered and half-constipated, just like the rest of them "…right?"

"Ha… Hahaha… That's right Gin-san. There is no way that something like that will happen… haha. They are probably killing each other… ha… haha. One of them might be dead by now. Haha…ha?" *sobs sobs* "Gin-san? Right? Right?"

"G-Get a hold of yourself, Shinpachi! Kagura maybe 16 in this fanfic but she is still a little girl inside. Her brain never grows. D-D-Don't you worry!" Gin shook Shinpachi furiously that something fell. It was Kagura's wallet. Inside there is something that made their jaws drop – Sougo's picture.

"WHHHHAAAAATTTT TTHHHEEE HELL IS THIS BASTARD DOING HERE? I can't take this anymore that boy of yours must control his hormones or I will slaughter you all! Kagura" *sobs sobs* "Why? I don't want to be a grandpa this early. Please. Control. Please. Control. Please."

"Just how dirty your mind can get?"

"Shut up, Mayo-freak! You're thinking the same thing!" Gin attacks Hijikata mindlessly, he dodged but something fell. Sougo's wallet. Inside. Kagura's picture.

"!"

The four of them suddenly experienced a blissful existence in lalaland.

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insert heroic BGM

But, despite of all the odds, and as if to be the privilege of every main character, Gintoki Sakata snaps out of what seems to be an eternal damnation. " I… I must fetch that old man. He is the only one who can release us from this… nightmare." He half-walked half-crawled his way to their salvation- the toilet. "He can take his potty chair with him. Whatever it takes, I will bring him- " They all turn their heads upon the newcomer "-here?"

"Yo!"

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"Ouch! China! I'm sorry! Chinaaaa!" Sougo is twisting and wriggling underneath her but she is exerting too much damn force.'

'Stop moving, Bastard!' Kagura is still bothered by her previous behavior but she is forcing herself not to think about it anymore. What she did is terrible but realizing WHY she did it is more terrifying.

But despite of all self-deprivations, mental curses and endless denials running through her mind, none of them help Kagura to calm her hearts erratic beat. Never in her life had she felt so weak and vulnerable, as if dying would be a better option than having this guy in his peripheral vision right now.

Sure, there are their 'regular' off-screen fights and she saw a lot of him in opening songs, but having him in a secluded place with her is an entirely another damn story! It made her realize some things that she never had before and she wishes to never have to…like he is TOO DAMN HOT, TOO DAMN GOOD-LOOKING, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE AND TOO ARROGANT JERK TO BE HER BOYFRIEND.

She screamed out of frustration. "Arrrrgh!" *sobs sobs* "I just want to go home…"

"I want to go home too, stupid! Get some rest and to never see you again! But for now… AAAH! LET GO! You"-something fell. "Oi, China, you're drooling. Close your mouth."

"huh?"

The droplet of blood trudge its way to Sougo's lips. He tastes it. Blood.

"You're bleeding!".

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.

Even in the darkness, she can easily tell the reason of the sudden quickening of her pulse.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what are you doing?"

"Stay still stupid!"Sougo's left hand firmly held her nape to bring her closer to him, while the other gently find its way across her face. "Now, where is your bastard wound?"

'It's the worst situation to panic!' Kagura tries her best not to hyperventilate and it takes a lot of her effort to do so. If their position before is enough to make her faint, then this physical contact is a total knockout. Her heart beats so loudly that she can't even hear her own breathing. Her tummy making flips times ten. Her pulse, quickening. Her whole body, trembling. And this guy is stripping her last bit of sanity. "Why do you have to make the situation worse?"

"You are the one who is making everything worse! Now if you would just-" He pulls her closer.

"AAAAAHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm not ready yet! Please! This is not my ideal first for my first kiss!"

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'eh?'

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Just 'eh?'

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'!'… Her eyes darted upward. 'Lord, please kill me now.'

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'Wait a minute.'

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'Why isn't he talking?'

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'Why is he so silent?'

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Beads of sweat uncontrollably form on her aching forehead.

She let out a robotic laugh. "AHAHA!... Don't take it too seriously, Stupid!... hahaha . 'Lord, seriously, kill me now' Who would want to kiss a jerk like you…hahaha… not me of course, that would be too gross…'But if you really want to kiss me, perhaps I can manage at least one.'

He remains silent, but she can feel his hands caressing her face again.

'Yey! … LOOOOOORRRDDD! I'm telling you! I'm not good at resisting temptation! '

"China?"

He traced the outline of her lips.

'Damn.' "Y-y-yes?"

"Don't get too worked up." She almost faint at the sudden proximity of their faces. "And about that… I'm always open for suggestions." He pressed his lips with hers.

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AC notes:

Hahahaha…

-_- now… how in hell I will make Kagura recover from shock… tsk tsk tsk… Another dilemma… hah!

Syangaps pips! I'm working on a new story with these two as (still) the main characters… I think it will be entitled as "Love Lies and Alibis" or "Complexities" I'm still thinking about it though… hohohoho…

Chapter 3 Omake:

Sougo: tsk. We completely forgot your injured arm.

Kagura: yeah… stupid author…