An interesting shift leads to interesting dreams as seen through Marco's eyes.

Hola, middle of the night thought catcher

I have a lot on my mind tonight, so bear with me. Before I get into what's on my mind it seems our paramedic duo left their thoughts with you already.

Roy, thank you again for the baseball; glad it was a good game. I can definitely see you as a Dodger. If your dream comes true, can I have tickets?

Johnny, anytime you want to run, yell I'll go with you. If you get to run competitively again, you bet we'll be there.

With that said let me get into what happened yesterday that led to the dream that just woke me up. Just so you know it is now 0405.

Yesterday morning was extremely quiet. Never a good thing! Lunch was our last quiet minute. The joint started jumping just as I finished the dishes. At one point we hit a stretch of five calls in a row.

It was the third of those calls that struck a chord with me. We were on the way back to the barn after a nasty MVA. The radio came to life again and we all groaned. It was definitely one of those days.

Sam Lanier's voice broke through after the tones, "Station 51, structure fire 1969 Ocean that's 1-9-6-9 Ocean cross of Lakewood. Time out 1430."

Chet and I looked at each other as Cap and Johnny acknowledged the call. Both of us were thinking the same thing, 'this could get real ugly real quick'. We sobered up and got refocused. Some days are harder then others, but we always have to be ready to go.

My heart caught in my throat as Mike pulled into the neighborhood. It was a small Latino neighborhood, the one where my mom and family live about six blocks from the station. Without a second thought, I started to finger the rosary that was in the pocket of my turnout jacket. This was close to home, but I knew I had to stay professional.

Two and half minutes after we got the call, Mike pulled big red to a stop. We had been dropping two and half line for a couple hundred yards that Johnny and Roy had already attached to the hydrant.

Chet and I were off the engine as Cap and Mike exited the cab. The restaurant was already partially engulfed when we got there. I paled when I recognized the place and didn't see anybody on the side walk. The Cantina was a family style restaurant known for its lunches and dinners.

I bolted for Cap, "Cap, we could have real trouble on our hands."

"What do you mean, Marco?"

"The Cantina is known for its lunches and dinners. I think there may be people trapped in there."

"What's the building capacity do you know?"

"Fifty-five with the kitchen and wait staff sixty-five."

"Mother of…" Cap turned and yelled, "Johnny, Roy, double time it boys, we possibly have up to sixty-five trapped."

Everybody gasped at the sheer possible total. Cap picked up the HT, "LA, station 51."

Sam came back, "Go 51."

"Send me a full structure response plus two additional squads and five ambulances to start code R. We have a partially engulfed restaurant total capacity sixty-five, nobody out, unknown exactly how many are inside right now."

"10-4 51."

Cap jammed the HT back in his pocket. "Alright Chet, take an inch and a half through the front door. Marco, be ready to back Chet up, but help Johnny and Roy evacuate everybody. I'll set the equipment up."

Cap didn't have to repeat anything, Chet, Roy, Johnny and I were in full SCBAs in seconds. Chet had the line in hand. Cap yelled, "Charge the line, Stoker!"

Once the line was charged, Chet led us into the restaurant. I helped Johnny and Roy with the evacuations as Chet wet the place down. By the time we had the second group outside, reinforcements had arrived and joined us.

On our last trip out I said, "I'm going back in one last time to do a final check. I know this place believe me if anybody else is in there I will get them."

Roy was standing next to me and saw the sincerity in my eyes. "Do you have enough air left?"

"Yes for one last run."

"Okay. I'll be by the door if you need help."

"Thanks Roy."

I put my SCBA on one more time and said a silent prayer that the final search would come up negative and then ran back into the remains of The Cantina. I did a through search and was almost on the way out when I realized I had not done the final search of the ladies room. Luckily, since the restaurant was fairly small I was still decent on oxygen.

I opened the bathroom door and yelled through my mask, "Fire department!" I didn't receive an answer so I started a stall by stall search. The first three were clear. When I opened the fourth, I almost lost my lunch at the sight that greeted me. There curled up in the fetal position on the floor, as low as she could get next to a small vent was my mother.

I stripped off my turnout and took a few deep breaths from my mask then took that off, too. I picked her up carefully and put the mask on her. I shook as I turned and bolted from the bathroom. My knowledge of the restaurant came in handy because I ran straight through without taking my eyes off my mother.

Roy met me at the door, "Anymore?"

I shook my head no and bolted. My voice cracked as I hit the triage area that had been set up, "Johnny, now!"

Brice came over, "I'll take her."

"Oh to hell you will."

"Gage is busy."

"I don't care go relieve him."

Cap came over, "What is it Marco?"

I finally couldn't hold it in anymore as I removed my mom's mask and shook. "Cap, it's my momma. God I can't…Johnny, Roy,"

I fell to the ground on my knees and shook. Brice was about to bawk again when Cap yelled, "Desoto, Gage, double time it. Somebody find Kelly and get Stoker NOW!"

That sent people flying. Roy and Johnny were at my side in a second. I didn't have to tell them who it was they both recognized mom and gasped.

I looked them in the eye as my own eyes stung with smoke and tears "Help her guys, please help her."

Roy and Johnny swallowed hard. Roy said, "We will pal, we will. Lay her down flat for me."

Slowly, gently I laid my mom down. As soon as I did Roy and Johnny got to work. Chet and Mike arrived seconds later as I doubled onto all fours. I couldn't even talk as I shook.

Suddenly, three pairs of hands gently steadied me. It was Mike who found his voice first, "Marco, she's got the best working on her."

Finally it was almost broken I said, "I stay."

Cap said, "You're not going anywhere pal. I am going to go talk to battalion but you're not moving."

Cap left. I finally forced myself to stop shaking. I was still in shock as I got back to one knee. Mike and Chet knelt beside me. Not a word was said at first as we watched Johnny and Roy work feverishly.

Finally Roy said, "Mike, can you call base?"

Brice came over, "I got it."

Roy waved as if to say fine. Then turned to me, "Marco, god I hate asking this."

I forced myself back to professional. "She's fifty-two, no respiratory history, border line high BP, cardiac was clear last time she went to the doctor. Did I miss anything?"

Roy put his hand on my shoulder, "No Marco, you did fine."

Brice shot Roy a questioning look that I saw. "Brice, yes I know the patient's history. She's my mother."

That snapped his jaw shut. I said, "Johnny…"

"Yeah Marco?"

"The rosary in my jacket put it in her hand before you package her up."

Johnny swallowed hard, "I will."

I focused on Brice to keep my stomach in place "Rampart base this is Cantina triage how do you read?"

Seconds later I heard Kel Brackett, "Go ahead Cantina triage this is Rampart I read you loud and clear."

"Rampart, we have a fifty-two year old Latino woman. She was found unconscious with second degree burns to her limbs, first on her face. Vitals are BP 130 over 95. Pulse is 95. Eyes are equal and reactive. Respiration is 12 and shallow on 50 oxygen via mask."

"10-4 Cantina. Does the patient have any medical history?"

"According to the patient's son boarder line high BP otherwise negative."

"Do we have a positive ID?"

I swallowed hard to keep my stomach in place and motioned for the phone. Brice said, "10-4 Rampart. Standby one second."

Brice handed me the phone. "Rampart, firefighter Lopez from station 51."

Kel Brackett was stunned, "Go ahead firefighter Lopez."

"Affirmative on the patient's ID. Rosita Lopez 1876 Castlebrook DOB 12-10-17."

"Firefighter Lopez, is it your mom?"

My voice cracked, "Affirmative Rampart."

I heard Kel take a stunned breath, "Understood."

"Hold for Cantina."

I handed Brice back the phone as momma came around a bit and shrieked in pain. I ran to her, looking for something to hold. Roy said gently, "Her hand Marco."

I took my gloves off, knelt, and gently grasped her hand, My voice cracked as she shrieked again, "Momma fácil que sé que lastima. Johnny y Roy le darán algo pronto." Easy momma I know it hurts. Johnny and Roy will give you something soon.

Thankfully, my words calmed her down enough to let the boys get her ready for transport. I looked up as two sets of footsteps headed over to us. It was Cap and Chief McConnikee.

Cap knelt next to me and asked, "How is she?"

Roy answered, "Stable but in pain and has not yet woken up."

Cap shuddered next to me. Momma was another family member to all of the guys. That's when Chief spoke up, "Hank, I'm standing the station down until Mrs. Lopez is examined and settled in at Rampart. Once she is contact me and we'll go from there."

Johnny gently broke my grip on momma and replaced my hand with the rosary. I spun around and slowly got to my feet. "Thank you, Chief."

"You're welcome, Marco. I'll be in touch." Chief's radio beckoned him back into service.

Chief left as the ambulance pulled up. Roy asked, "Marco, can you help lift her?"

"Yeah Roy." Gently in one move we picked momma up and laid her on the stretcher. I walked with the stretcher over to the ambulance. Just before they loaded her I squeezed her hand one more time and said, "Te quiero momma. Le veré en algunos minutos." I love you momma. I'll see you in a few minutes.

I backed off and let Roy help Johnny load mom into the ambulance. Johnny was going to go in with her and Roy was going to take the squad in. Once Johnny was seated, Roy slammed the doors shut and slapped them twice. The ambulance took off.

Roy turned to me, "Marco, do you want to ride on the engine or in with me?"

"The engine."

"Okay."

We sprinted back for the trucks. The engineer who had been baby sitting big red had her all packed up and ready to go. He looked over at Mike, "She's ready to roll, Mike."

"Thanks Dan."

"You're welcome." Dan looked over at me, "I believe it's Buena suerte good luck Marco."

I smiled, "You're right Dan and thank you."

"You're welcome."

Cap said quickly, "Lets go!"

We all climbed aboard. Within seconds Mike was leaving with lights and sirens going. Nothing was going to stop us from getting there. Chet kept a close eye on me on the way in. I was so shocked I didn't know what to even think so I forced myself to stay focused. That was about the hardest thing I've done in my career ever!

Thanks to some very skilled driving, I owe ya one Mike, we pulled in just as the squad and ambulance did. It was all I could do to stay in my seat until Mike had shut the engine off. Then I bolted. The others weren't far behind me. We all followed Roy and Johnny into Rampart.

Dixie spoke quickly, "Two is up."

Without missing a step we all ran for two. Dixie stopped me at the door, "We'll take good care of her, Marco."

I couldn't help but try anyway. "But that's my momma."

Dixie spoke softer, "She's in the best hands possible. I promise as soon as I know anything and definitely when Kel is done I'll come get you."

My voice was soft, "Okay."

Dixie stepped into the room. Cap and the guys steered me toward the lounge. Thankfully, it was empty. Things were starting to hit, but I fought them off to stay professional. Cap and Mike guided me to the couch.

Cap said gently, "Marco, it's okay if you want to talk about it."

"Not yet. When I know she's okay but not yet."

"Okay pal."

Then I just rambled, "I…how…floor."

Three pairs of hands grabbed me as I fought everything off. I dearly wanted to lose it but I had to stay strong for momma. My head bowed in the middle of the group as I started the Lord's prayer in Spanish.

As I finished the door to the lounge opened and my stomach flipped. In walked Dixie, Johnny, Roy and Kel. I willed myself back to professional mode and got to my feet. "Doc…"

The foursome grinned. Kel said, "She's going to be just fine, Marco. She's awake and alert. She's going upstairs so we can take care of her arms we already put medicine on her face. She has a canula and her pain medication. You can see her as soon as we get her settled in."

My knees buckled as I cried out, "Thank god."

The guys caught me, Kel and Dixie silently left. I shook like a leaf as everything finally hit me full force. Tears of relief, that I have been able to stop if I wanted to, poured out of my eyes as the guys held me.

Cap said gently, "Let it out Marco, let it go buddy. Goodness knows you have every right, too."

Through tears I finally said, "She was on the floor in the last stall of the woman's bathroom near a vent. I…" My stomach lurched. Roy saw the look on my face and grabbed the trash can. "I…got her out as fast as I could."

My stomach lurched again this time I lost the battle to keep it in place. The guys held me up as I lost everything I had. Sorry Mike! Finally things settled down after one last painful burp I was able to sit up again.

I looked up at all the guys, "Sorry."

Chet said, "Don't be. Heck you handled that a lot better then I would have. I would have lost it at the scene."

"Chet, believe me I wanted to but I knew I had to stay strong for momma." I looked Roy and Johnny in the eye, "Thank you doesn't seem to be enough but it's all I can think of. Thank you for all you did."

Roy and Johnny blushed. Roy said, "It's our pleasure Marco."

Johnny said, "You're welcome pal."

Dixie knocked on the door.

I replied, "Come in."

Dixie walked in. "Marco, your mom is settled."

"Thank you Dixie."

Roy said, "Hey Dix, have maintenance take care of the trash can in here."

"You got it." Dixie turned to me, "Feel better?"

"Much."

"Good. Come on I'll take you upstairs, Kel's doing one last check on her and then I'll call maintenance."

"Okay."

"Oh we took your turnout upstairs, too."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

We left the lounge. I definitely felt a lot better then when I had walked in there. Minutes later we were upstairs. Dixie led us to the door of momma's room and asked, "You ready?"

I took a quick breath, "Yes."

"Okay." Dixie opened the door and peaked in, "Kel, is it okay for Rosita to have some visitors?"

We all heard Kel say, "Let me guess six worried six firefighters?"

"That would be them."

"I think they're just what the doctor ordered."

Dixie opened the door and we all walked in.

My heart broke to see my mom lying in that bed. She looked so small. Kel squeezed my shoulder on the way by, "She really is okay, Marco."

"Thanks doc."

Kel stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him. The guys stayed back as I slowly walked over to the bed. Momma looked up at me, "Marco, mi hijo viene aqui." Marco, my son, come here.

I took her hand and my voice cracked, "Momma, momma del oh." Momma, oh momma.

Momma took my hand and squeezed, "Soy aceptable mi hijo. Usted ahorró mi vida." I'm okay my son. You saved my life.

I gave momma a kiss and softly whispered, "Tuve que usted soy mi mama."

I had to you're my mommy.

She hugged and held me a minute to calm us both down. Then both of us switched back to English. I stood up a bit as momma called, "Hank, boys, come see momma Lopez."

The guys smiled and walked over. I moved out of the way so each of them could say hi to mom. Once the greetings were exchanged mom looked up at me. This time she kept it in English, "Marco Antonio."

I cringed, "Yes momma."

Momma chuckled at my reaction. I relaxed when I realized she wasn't mad at me. "I know you're worried but stay on duty."

"Are you sure?"

Momma sat up a bit straighter, "I'm positive you stay with the boys and keep going. I promise if I need anything I'll call you."

I sighed, I knew mom was right but it wasn't easy. "Okay momma."

"Besides it was actually something I learned from you that let you find me."

We were a bit confused. Cap asked, "What do you mean momma Lopez?"

Momma smiled, "I remembered Marco told me once a while back that if I was ever caught in a fire and couldn't get out to stay low and if possible find some kind of an opening." "That's exactly what I did I laid on the floor with my head toward the vent to keep what little air I could going."

I blushed as red as the engine. The guys all slapped me on the back. Mike smiled and said, "Good one, Marco."

I smiled, "Thanks guys."

Momma smiled, "Come here and give me a hug before you guys go back out there."

I stepped back and let the guys give mom a hug. I wanted a couple minutes alone with her before we left. The guys all said their good nights and made promises to stay safe. Chet grabbed my jacket before he left. Cap squeezed my shoulder as he walked by, "Take as long as you need to feel comfortable pal, we're not in any hurry."

"Thanks Cap."

"You're welcome pal."

Cap and the guys left.

I walked back over to mom's bed. I could see she was tired. She looked up at me, "Marco, yo realmente est muy bien. Caja fuerte de la estancia mi hijo. Te amo." Marco, I really am okay. Stay safe my son. I love you.

I swallowed hard, "Yo momma de la voluntad que prometo. Te amo también."

I will momma I promise. I love you too.

"Apesadumbrado estoy consiguiendo cansado." Sorry I'm getting tired.

"No sea que significa que la medicina está trabajando. Usted reclina fácil, si usted necesita cualquier cosa en todo pide. Soy solamente una llamada telefónica lejos." Don't be. That means the medicine is working. You rest easy, if you need anything at all ask. I'm only a phone call away.

Momma smiled, "Conozco a mi hijo. Gracias." I know my son. Thank you.

I tucked mom in as she dozed off and gave her a light kiss before I finally left the room.

Cap and the guys met me in the hall. Roy asked, "You okay, Marco?"

I swallowed the knot in my throat and was immediately surrounded. Mike said, "Take your time, pal."

I took a deep breath, "I'm okay guys. It's just hard to see her like that. I do feel better though knowing she's here and getting what she needs."

Johnny said, "We know it's not easy pal, but I guarantee you she's going to get nothing but the best. Kel made us that promise before we left to come tell you."

I relaxed, "Thanks guys."

"You're welcome, pal."

Slowly the six of us headed back downstairs. Everybody's senses were extra sharp, yeah we were at the hospital, but you never know. It was only a few minutes before we were back down in the emergency department. We headed over to the nurses desk where Kel and Dixie were.

Dixie looked over and asked, "How is she?"

I smiled, "Resting comfortably."

"Good. How are you?"

I took a quick breath, "Best as can be expected."

"I bet."

Just then we heard two sets of footsteps that got our attention. The six of us spun around and saw Brice and Chief McConnikee headed for us.

Cap addressed Chief first, "The dance done sir?"

"That round is yes."

"Good."

Brice surprised us next, "Marco, how is she?"

Even Chief appeared momentarily stunned. Brice wasn't exactly known for his concern. I smiled, relieved, "She's doing a lot better Craig, thank you. We just left her a few minutes ago and she's sleeping soundly."

Both Brice and Chief let out a sigh of relief as we all smiled. "Good to hear."

I looked Chief in the eye and answered his unasked question, "Yes sir, I am staying on duty tonight per momma's orders."

Chief smiled, "Okay Marco. Even I know not to double cross my mom but keep me updated if you need anything."

"I will sir."

"I wish I could let you guys go rest, but…"

We fought the instinct to grimace as Cap said, "It's okay sir we understand."

As soon as Chief called us back into service, the squad was immediately called out. We just shook our heads and followed them not knowing how long we'd have before our next call.

Welcome back to the present now. Now that I'm not writing through tears anymore, let me sum up the rest of the day and then get to what really woke me up, my dream.

The rest of the night was nuts. I'm sure Mike, Chet and Cap will fill in the details later. Lucky for me, we had leftovers from lunch. Once my stomach settled that's what I wanted for dinner. Anyway, Cap called lights out when Johnny and Roy got back from the game. We were all so tired, nobody argued about that.

When I first hit the pillow I was out like a light. I was so drained from the shift and worrying about mom I didn't even dream at first. Once I got some sleep I finally started to dream.

My eyes opened but I wasn't in the dorm with the guys. Instead I was in a construction site. Confused I started to look around, trying to figure out what was being built. It was a restaurant in place of the Cantina.

I thought, 'Good, people will be able to come back here.'

Suddenly one of the workers came up to me, "Marco."

"Yeah."

"How does this look?" He held up a sign that read Marco Lopez's Rosita.

My jaw flopped open. Now I knew where I was. I was at the construction site for my restaurant. I grinned broadly at the worker. "That looks perfect."

The worker grinned, "Thank you sir."

That's when I woke up, slipped into my bunkers and headed for the locker room. I needed to get a legal pad so I could sketch out my restaurant. 'Marco Lopez's Rosita'. Man, that has a pretty ring to it. I have to rewrite my notes later to write them in something that is actually legible but now I know what my dream is.

Sadly, I must leave you for now middle of the night dream catcher. My eyelids are fighting to stay open and I want to make sure I can get back to the dorms before I fall completely asleep.

Buenos Noches

Marco