Once again, Gargoyle13 is unstoppable and mainly to blame, especially where the Moron Twins are concerned (G&G).
As per usual I mostly contributed with dirt on the Thing (and Guinevere).
We proudly give you etcetera etcetera... :
Year Book of the Knights (year 462 AD): Part III - Happenings throughout the year (aka things we'd rather forget).
The food fight. As you've probably guessed, this was all Galahad's doing. The boy simply cannot keep his cool when around Romans. Vanora would rather forget this happened. So would Gawain. Have you ever tried to pick those little beans Vanora serves out of dreads? It really doesn't work well... And gravy, you might as well just head off to the bath for a good soak and scrub. Which we forced Gawain to do when he could not get his hands on Galahad to pull his sissy-skirted butt out from under a table.
Meanwhile, Arthur showed up. Let's just say that we were scrubbing the mess from the mess until wee hours of the morning.
Mysteriously, Gawain was bathing until wee hours of the morning.
Lancelot as a smurf. Yes...Lancelot had an incident with some of the blue dye that the Woads use. He was curious as to how long it lasts, whether or not it comes off in the rain, if you can use it in your hair, etc. And, of course, Lancelot being Lancelot, you cannot reason with him once he has his mind set to something. It was quite the challenge to explain to Arthur, why his second-in-command looked like a Woad and that it was done willingly and on purpose.
Galahad puking. Yes, the boy sacrifices his lunch on cue. Yes, there is nothing remarkable about this since he does it so frequently, but we do think he is working on being able to project it in different directions. We cannot be certain, but his favourite target does seem to be Gawain's boots, so we're not truly complaining too much (except Gawain to whom we say, find a different place to sit, Blondie).
Guinevere's waterloo. Smurfette, you know how horny you get when you're pissed. So why do you always drink until even Galahad gets envious?
Anyway, she did finally decide to take on the Thing that night. They left together, but we found her shortly thereafter, strapped naked to the wall upside down just above the gate where Arthur couldn't avoid noticing when he rode in.
Our intellectually highly gifted commander was sure that 'it was all a big misunderstanding'.
Thing for his part has apparently been heard mumbling 'some people just won't take a friendly hint' and refuses to discuss the matter further.
However, Guinevere has been giving him the evils ever since, to which he responds only by looking darkly satisfied.
Bors falling off his horse. He swears he was drunk. Sure you were, Bors. Funny how you were riding just fine and then all of a sudden the trail shifted left, as did your horse but, remarkably, you didn't.
Gawain's stag incident. Gawain, Gawain, Gawain. We can only shake our heads at you because you have already been subjected to enough humiliation. This was not a good time for you.
We aren't sure what exactly set this off, though we strongly suspect Tristran was involved somehow, since he was the only person that Gawain did not bother with trying to explain some parable of two stags fighting and the third stag leaving with the doe... He was also seen faintly smiling while watching the entire fiasco unfold. We will get you, Tristran.
It was quite confusing for all of us, but especially for Galahad. We told you not to ask, but you just had to, bright boy. So you got not only the story, but the whole visual display as well – antlers and charging and everything else.
Galahad was seen later that evening curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth, mumbling about charging stags. We're pretty sure it took weeks before he would go anywhere near the woods with Gawain.
On the plus though, it provided us with a very effective way to shut Gawain up on long rides. Someone will mention stags or simply make the antler gesture and Gawain becomes quieter than the Spook.
Arthur's predicament. Listen. You might be the Once and Future King and all. But there is no way around it. It was not a burglar. She tied you up and left for the tavern!
Burglars don't undress people first.
Really, get some marriage-counselling (Talking to Merlin doesn't count, the guy is a complete fruitcake.)
Finding out about Thing's Irish girlfriend : It was Dag who got wind of it. Apparently, those kinds of girls do exist. She is called Isola... Ysa...anyway, something along those lines (it has been decided to refer to her as 'Izzy'). Honestly, Irishmen and names.
The thought of Thing actually being sexually active disturbs us. Yeah, we know, a lot of things disturb us. But to put this into a perspective, Galahad just sacrificed his lunch. Again.
The Thing itself wouldn't spill the beans (will he ever?), but it didn't help that Dag said the woman in question was rather hot, and looked mightily satisifed.
However, the real trouble started when Vanora said 'why wouldn't she', then shut up abruptly and looked rather guilty.
Luckily Bors wasn't home, and thank the Gods for illiteracy. But Lancelot sulked for the rest of the week.
Horton's trauma. Apparently, he walked in on Thing and beforementioned girlfriend. That is all we have been able to discern. We have tried to get him to tell us what exactly they were doing, but he just whimpers and clutches his rosary every time we bring it up.
End note : A little reply to Anne Becker...
Thank you for your review. However, your assumptions confuse me. I (Ysolde, who is responsible part where Thing is concerned) regret to inform you that I have never seen the opera Tristan und Isolde, nor the 2006 movie rendition of it. Nor do I plan to (almost threw a Galahad upon watching the trailer for the movie... honestly, what's the thing with the teenage dude and his cheerleader?). My knowledge of Thing's exploits (apart from KA) are solely from written sources, different retellings of his myths as well as Arthurian retellings in which he figures, the medievæl romances and, before those, old celtic mythology. Food for thought?