-1"I got a twenty dollar bill that no one's ever seen you without make-up. You're always made-up." ~Mix Tape By Brand new

Wake up.

Brush teeth.

Floss.

Shower.

Make up.

Hair.

Get Dressed.

Shoes.

Drink breakfast.

Go to work…

I'd been out for four days.

It was a Friday.

I could handle a Friday. I mean, its not like I really worked anyways.

I just wasn't sure I'd be able to handle all of the questions from Grace.

When the high and the alcohol wore off I remembered why I was drinking in the first place.

Will…

I mean, I know I told him not to call, but I didn't think he would listen.

I guess there really was nothing between us. I was stupid for thinking there was.

I drown in my alcohol.

I walk into the office and its empty. She must have run out for something. She'd probably be back any minute.

It was a rainy day.

I sit down and look around.

I catch my breath.

Several minutes pass.

The door opens. I don't look up but I say, "Hey Grace, where'd you go?"

But she didn't reply.

Thunder boomed outside.

It was around noon but it looked like it was midnight.

I looked up and Will was standing there. Dripping wet. He must've walked.

"Karen," he says. He almost pleas.

"Oh, Will I thought you were Grace,"

He came over to my desk and took my face in his wet hand.

I didn't think, I just stood up and let him kiss me. ///

She was beautiful. I needed her. I needed her soft hand caressing my back as she once had.

Karen Walker was like a drug.

Highly addictive.

Severe side-affects.

Withdrawal possible.

I took her mouth with my own.

She ran her hands through my hair. ///

Ugh this is how I got into this whole mess to begin with.

I should stop him.

I'm probably going to regret this.

But oh, man.

No I can't stop. Not now. Two more minutes. Maybe five. ///

Ouch, she bit my lip.

That was good.

I wonder if she's high.

I mean, that must be the only reason she's with me.

Oh, Karen.

I think I love you.

Take my heart, take my eyes, I'll never need them again as long as I have you.

Take it all, its all yours baby. I love you.

I love you, Karen.

Her smoky eyes are heavy. They close as she kisses me once more. Don't let my waist go. I can't be close enough to you.

My wet face doesn't intimidate her. Nothing intimidates her.

I adore her. ///

I don't want to think.

I try to turn off my conscience as he lifts my shirt over my head.

This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever done.

Grace could be here any minute.

I don't care.

His rough face in my hand makes me knees weak.

I try to remember all of the contours of his body, but I can't. Just another memory fogged by scotch.

Grace could be there any minute. I don't care.

I want him.

Now.

I end up on my back in the swatch room.

"Harder,"

He obeys.

Love me. Love me.

Grace never showed up.

Maybe it was fate.

Maybe it was pure luck.

Whatever it was, it worked.

I had to lay down some ground rules. Any secret relationship needed boundaries.

Rule #1: No one can know.

Rule #2: No saying I love you. (even if one or the other may most definitely feel it or something very similar to it.) Ignore the parenthesis.

Rule #3: If we were to say, go on a "date" of sorts, it has to be out of the loop. Somewhere out of the way. Where no one could spot us.

Rule #4: Sex isn't optional, it's a must.

Rule #5: In the morning, after the fun, we'll go back to our own homes and pretend as though nothing happened.

Will wasn't particularly happy with rule #5. He says its impossible to pretend to go back to the way things had been, but it was the easiest way to do things. Karen Walker doesn't like to make things harder than they already were.

I just wasn't ready to admit that perhaps pretending, was harder than admitting the truth.