Ascending Darkness/Faltering Light
By: AlbusSeverusGryffindor
Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. Hope you all enjoy it and sorry it took so long. First I was sick and then holidays came.
Part Three: Healing
I don't want to play anymore...the more you care, the more you have to lose. - Harry Potter OotP movie
Harry stared at the ceiling above him as if it were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen in his life. Ignoring everything and everyone else in the room he studied it with intense concentration and a look of confusion for a few moments before blinking and moving his eyes to the nearby window to his left. Sunlight was pouring through it, pure and golden, and he had not seen it's like in months. He blinked at the seemingly bright and intense light for a moment feeling it's long lost warmth through the blankets that covered him and on his left hand where it lay outside of the blankets. This warmth, however, was nothing compared to the warmth that was flooding his system, singing in his veins.
He could feel his magic flowing through him strong and sure, filling him with a feeling much akin to the sun's warming rays but that warmth was to sunlight what his Aunt Marge's dog, Ripper was to Hagrid's Fluffy. The warmth of his magic seemed to wrap Harry in a protective cocoon of sorts and while he felt no better physically than he had on waking, he felt more powerful and stronger magically then he had ever felt before in his life. He felt almost overcome by a sense of rightness he had never felt before. He closed his eyes and for a moment he thought he heard the distant, faint trill of phoenix song coming not from an actual phoenix but seemingly from inside himself, from inside his very core. Unknown to him he began to glow with a blinding white light and for a moment the others saw the shining image of a phoenix shimmering around Harry, singing for all it was worth and wrapping him protectively in its fiery wings before the image blinded them with it's intensity.
Several hundred miles away the holly and phoenix wand on Dumbledore's desk began to vibrate, shooting off red and gold spark in profusion. Fawkes trilled a soft, wavering note and Dumbledore came out of his private rooms at the back of office just in time to see Harry's wand vanish from the desk in a flash of phoenix flame. Dumbledore blinked at the still smoking place where the wand had lain and then smiled as if he had been expecting this to happen all along. He went back to his private rooms to get a traveling cloak and his supply of Floo powder. He felt a need to see Harry again.
The flash of flame next to Harry caught everybody by surprise and they jumped realizing that they could see again. Harry's wand appeared a second later in his right hand and he instinctively curled his fingers around it. The holly wood was warm to his touch but had not been damaged by it's contact with PhoenixFyre. Harry could feel the warmth spreading from his wand's core into his magical one and he could feel his core respond by returning a bit of power and infusing it with the phoenix feather that was his wand core. It felt very much like the bonding that had happened in Ollivander's when he was eleven only stronger and more complete. The phoenix song was stronger than ever now, seeming to fill him with light and hope even though he no longer felt either. He lost himself in the song for several long moments during which his vital signs righted themselves and every wound save for the cursed one healed themselves as if phoenix tears had been shed over them.
After several tense moments of silence during which the others had remained frozen apparently to scared to even breath lest it disturb the magic being used, Harry opened his eyes again and began to sit up slowly. He winced as pain shot through both his still injured arm and his scar. He stared fixedly out the window next to his bed, his hand reflexively toying with the wand in it. After a few seconds of staring longingly at a small lake shining in the sun's light and surrounded with willows and other trees whose branches blew slightly he dropped the wand, raising his hand toward the beam of bright sunlight. He seemed to cup it in his outstretched hands, a strange look on his face. His vision blurred with unshed tears and he said two words so softly that they were almost lost.
"Safe...Free..."
Those two words seemed to shatter the dam he'd been holding his emotions behind for so long, since the day he'd exchanged his life for everyone else's. The tears that were standing in his eyes began to fall, unstoppable and full of all the rage, pain and sorrow he'd managed to hide from his captors. His tears were silent tears though his body shook with the force of them and the emotions they represented. The others merely stood by not knowing precisely what to do to comfort the boy's obvious mental anguish without it coming off as being uncaring and meaningless to him. Snape made a brief movement that looked suspiciously like he wanted to hug the boy to him and sooth his hurts. Dudley had not moved from Harry's bedside and his face was pale and strained as wave after wave of emotions moved over them all though no one apart from Snape and himself could feel them. Draco and the healers remained near the door not knowing what to do.
Dudley managed to block the mixture of emotions that were invading his mind but not before he felt a mixture of paralyzing fear, intense emotional pain, self loathing and a rage so deep that it almost overrode every other emotions Harry was venting along with a strong image of one of the tortures he'd suffered. He eyed Harry with trepidation, fearing that his cousin might lash out at any moment. When nothing happened he looked at the others, seemed to take a hold of his courage and looked again at Harry, whose sobs seemed to have subsided though he still seemed unaware of anyone else in the room.
"None of it was your fault." Dudley said quietly. "No one deserves what happened to you. You did nothing to cause it. You only wanted to save their lives even if it cost your own. No one deserves to be treated like that."
Harry looked sharply at his cousin and Dudley could feel a mixture of hatred and confusion coming from him. His eyes were cold, hard chips of green ice. He looked from Dudley to Snape and Malfoy and finally to Dumbledore who'd just entered the room. His anger increased as he looked from person to person, the air around him seemed to tremble with his pent up anger and the wand on his bed shot off more sparks. His eyes narrowed into cold glare and everyone could feel the power behind that glare.
"What do any of you know about me or my life!" His voice was as cold as his eyes and it seemed to carry even though he was only speaking at barely above a whisper since his vocal cords and voice box had been damaged during his torture. "Since when have any of you ever understood anything that I have had to endure all these years! How could you ever presume to know what I've just recently had to endure?"
The three Healer's moved toward Harry but were stopped by the glare he gave them and by a push from his magic. Then he turned his cold green eyes back to the others who had gathered close together as he accused them.
"None of you have ever cared about me or what happens to me! I'm just a waste of space! A freak! Someone for Slytherins and Death Eaters to loath or attack at the least opportunity!" He gave Dudley, Malfoy and Snape a deadly glare and then turned his eyes to Dumbledore his voice dripping with anger. "You just want your precious little wizarding savior, your 'Chosen One' back! If I were any other student, anyone else but the boy with the weight of the Prophecy on his shoulders and this supposed 'power the Dark Lord knows not' you would have just left me to die in that hell hole! Four months! Alone except for those that tortured me and Him!"
His voice was full of pain and Harry wrapped his arms around his drawn up knees, trembling on the knife's edge of sanity. His eyes had become shadowed and dull and he was staring off at something the others could not see, which caused his face to pale and his body to tremble still more violently. Tears were making tracks down his face again and he flinched when someone made a sudden unconscious movement. He moved as far away from them as the bed would allow and wouldn't looked at any of them.
"That's not tr..." Draco began but he was cut off by a snarl from Harry, whose dead green eyes seemed to pin him in place.
"Don't lie to me! None of you care! You've never cared so don't you patronize me! I know better! You gave up on me month ago! Don't deny it! I waited, stayed alive for you, hoping for rescue but you gave up and left me there to suffer! Just like you always do! None of you came to my rescue last year when Umbridge was torturing me and spreading those foul rumors that I was mad! None of you defended me when the Ministry was out for my blood! No one noticed when that Death Eater changed the Cup into a Portkey and I vanished with Cedric or later when that same Death Eater dragged me away intent on finishing the job Voldemort had started! Why should any of you care as long as your perfect little weapon does the job! Who cares what suffering or sorrow I have to endure as long as I fulfill the Prophecy and vanquish Voldemort! Who cares if I bloody well die as long as He dies with me!" Harry's anger was seething and the room around him trembled in response to the power that was leaking from him. The others stepped back a pace clearly not having expected this outburst from Harry.
Harry's icy green eyes found Dumbledore's blue ones and he exploded again, tears of rage and sorrow falling from his eyes. "Four months of suffering, of endless torment! All for nothing because YOU DON'T CARE! You never saw it did you, Dumbledore? You never cared about me at all did you? You left me to my suffering just as you have always left me! All you've ever done is lie to me from the beginning just like the Dursley's! You only wanted a weapon you could control! Someone who would take care of you problem and clean up your mess for you! You only want me to be a good little boy and fight your damned war for you yet you kept information hidden from me until it's to late...until people close to me die! Well I refuse to fight your bloody war, Dumbledore! The Prophecy be damned! I will no longer be your pawn! I hate the world and everyone in it can go to hell for all I care."
He turned away from them all and his shoulders began to shake with the force of his renewed sobs. The room was silent and those within it watched Harry carefully but he said nothing more.
"Harry? Please just listen. I know I've made terrible mistakes..."
Harry's muffled voice cut off Dumbledore's sentence. "No you listen. I've had enough! All the pain, all the suffering...I can't take anymore! I'm not playing this game anymore. It hurts to much. I'm tired and it's over. Voldemort has already won so just leave me alone!"
There was a loud clap of thunder overhead and a sudden shower of hail that hit roof and ground violently even though the day was still sunny and there was not a cloud in the sky. This was clearly a bit of uncontrolled and accidental magic that a fifth year should have been long passed making and it clearly showed how even Harry's control over his magic was completely gone. Harry slumped forward and held his head in his hands.
"To much! It's all to much!" Harry's voice had become weaker and there was a pleading note in it. All of his rage seemed to have left him. "I'm only sixteen...sixteen! It's unfair...all of it. And you don't understand, not any of you. I don't know what to do anymore. Please don't make me. I can't face him again."
Two solitary tears rolled down his face and he fixed them with a pleading look that made he look years younger than sixteen. Healer Garrnet moved forward slightly and gave Harry a sympathetic look, clearly wanting to take the young man into her arms and comfort him as she would her own children. Healer McDohl moved closer as well.
"We might understand better if you would like to talk about it." he said softly.
"Can't..." Harry had begun to tremble violently again and his face had paled. There was an almost empty look in his eyes and for a moment it seemed he was back in that dungeon again surrounded by nothing but darkness, hopelessness and despair. His body shivered uncontrollably and he began to mutter incomprehensibly while all the glass in the room began to rattle ominously.
Snape nodded in understanding though the Healers were clearly at a loss. He walked over to the bed and set a journal bound in black leather upon the bedside table. Harry didn't appear to notice him at all at first, to lost in whatever horrors he'd had to endure over the last almost four months. Snape's voice was soft and low. "When it becomes to much to hold inside, write it out in the book. You don't need to tell any of us about it but you can't keep the memories bottled up forever. It will only lead to more pain and suffering. These memories will poison your mind if you let them, Harry. To heal and move on with your life you will need to release them. "
Harry blinked in surprise at the gentleness in Snape's voice and he looked up at the Potion's Master in confusion. For a moment their eyes locked and a new form of understanding passed between them. Harry could clearly see the same suffering and pain he was feeling mirrored in the former Death Eater's eyes in that moment. After few seconds silence Harry nodded at Snape.
"Thank you." Now it was Snape's turn to be surprised. He gave Harry a strange look but nodded gravely to the boy.
"You're welcome."
At that moment the Healers ordered everyone apart from themselves from the room. Harry needed to be checked over and given a variety of potions after which he was to rest.
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Dumbledore lead the others into the sitting room, where he sat down heavily in a chair in front of the fire. He stared into the flames for several moments without saying a word to them. Dudley and Draco took seats in two overstuffed armchairs, Dudley wincing at the headache that was forming behind his eyes as a result of Harry's emotional outburst. Draco looked at Dumbledore, concern in his gray eyes. Snape remained in the doorway, watching the aging Headmaster carefully. Dumbledore had seemed to age before his eyes while Harry was yelling at him and he couldn't help but feel sorry for the old man now. He'd only been doing what he thought was right at the time. He wanted Harry to have a somewhat normal life at Hogwarts without him having to worry overmuch about Death Eaters and Voldemort or the Prophecy. He'd wanted the boy to be happy and to make friends neither of which he'd been able to do in the Muggle world. He'd wanted Harry to only be concerned with typical teenage wizard pursuits and not with thoughts of war or death. And now that had seemingly backfired in his face. If there was one thing Snape had learned about Harry in the last year it was that he hated being lied to above all else and in keeping certain bits of informations secret Dumbledore had managed to lose Harry's trust. Only time would tell if it had been lost forever.
"What more can I do, Severus? How can I help him? How can I win back his trust? You know how much I care for the boy. I never meant...I didn't mean for him to think he was only ever a weapon for me to use. I only wanted to see him happy since he'd had so little happiness in his life. Was it so wrong of me to want to see him happy before things became darker?" Dumbledore's voice sounded almost feeble and he looked at Snape as of the former Death Eater held all the answers that would solve their problems.
"No, Albus. I believe you merely wanted to prevent him from choosing the dark path taken by Riddle. He needed to be loved by others, needed companionship and happiness. You were not wrong about that."
Dumbledore looked at Snape in surprise and nodded. "What should we do then?"
"First we must allow him time alone away from the rest of the wizarding world. He's just been through the worst combination of tortures imaginable and he's carrying a lot of guilt on his shoulders from even before that. We must allow him time to deal with what has happened and to heal from it. That's why I gave him that book. I know better than anyone that Potter...Harry will not open up to anyone about his problems. According to his close friends he tends to shut himself away and lock his true feeling inside himself until they eat him up and he strikes out. In that respect he is very like me."
"But he's also..." began Draco.
"Dangerous and his magic is out of his control." Snape nodded. "And I'm afraid he may remain so for some time to come. The Dark Lord has damaged a part of Harry's magical core when he attempted to drain it for use in dark rituals and to fuel dark spells with power other than his own. When he did that it destroyed Harry's control over his magic among other things. Until we can stabilize his core again and repair the damage he will have no control."
Dumbledore nodded in agreement with Snape's assessment of the situation. "There is nothing we can do except wait for his core to stabilize and to begin repairing itself if it can. That may be why his core went through to Core Maturity process so early. It may be his core's way of dealing with the damage and repairing it. Still he will realize that there has been some damage and that he lacks the control he once had. When he realizes it he will likely attempt to retrain himself. Give him all the help you can, Severus, Draco."
He stood and threw some Floo powder into the fire, which turned a deep green. "And now I must be off to the Order meeting. I will return in few weeks to see how he is doing."
"He did not mean the things he said, sir." Dudley's voice carried across the silent room. "About you not caring and only thinking of him as some sort of weapon. He's just scared, sir."
Dumbledore blinked rapidly and gave Dudley a small smile. "Thank you." He was gone in flash of green flame and the fire returned to it's normal color.
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A week later Harry was declared fit enough to be up and about and was also cleared to go outside whenever the weather permitted. This was a great relief to the others as it meant that Harry was well enough to take care of his own needs. This in turn meant that they could continue with the help of the Healers to find a way to break the curse over his left arm so that it could be healed. For the moment they had settled on keeping it wrapped in bandages soaked in a magical protective solution and keeping it in sling to prevent farther injury. Harry was glad to be allowed out of bed and outside as well. Now he was able to escape their curious eyes and even their very presence when it became to much for him to bare. He preferred to be alone with his thoughts.
At the moment he was sitting by a small stream that lead to the lake he'd first seen from his window. He was staring into it's reflective surface trying to keep his mind blank and empty wanting to forget the nightmare he'd had when he'd napped. He'd found himself staring off at nothing quite often of late in an attempt to block out the memories that were slowly returning to him. These memories were setting off nightmare that were leading to 'episodes' were he would fall into very vivid and realistic memories of the various tortures he'd received. Almost anything could set off 'episodes' especially if he'd had a nightmare the night before. The problem wasn't just that he was having these flashbacks but that he didn't know what would set them off to start with and most disturbing of all was the fact that he would often lash out with his uncontrolled magic at whoever was nearest when he fell into one of these memories. He was slowly becoming afraid of his magic and of himself.
Harry sighed and rubbed the back of his neck in an attempt to ease the stiffness in it. He looked back at the safe house a moment, scanning it and the surrounding area for his Healers or the others. Finding no one in the vicinity he drew his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them, no longer able to hold the memory he'd been fending off at bay. The area around him vanished and he was back in a cold, dark room surrounded by Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
Tears sprang into his eyes and his body shook in remembered pain. He could hear the echo of his pleading screams, Voldemort's sibilant voice in his mind like burning flames, the horrid chanting that echoed around the stone room they were in, the laughter of the Death Eaters as he was tortured and humiliated before the full conclave of Dark Wizards who each wanted a go at him while he lay in a helpless heap on the cold stone floor, chained there like some animal. When they were finished torturing him with every dark curse know to them and a few experimental spells they forced burning potion after burning potion down his raw throat and watched him struggle for breath before a burning sensation started in his stomach and he began screaming again. It had felt as if his very blood had been turned into molten fire in his veins and as if all his organs were on fire. The pain was worse than the Cruciatus Curse if that were possible. He felt as if he were drowning in pain and blood and could think of nothing else but the feeling of his insides burning. The chains rattled around him as he spasmed on the floor at Voldemort's feet and his screams echoed around the room. They became louder still as a few Death Eaters cast a variety of additional curses on him causing the burning potion to react and become even more painful.
Harry held his head as the memory washed over him and his body twitched in response to the phantom pain the memory called forth. Harry wanted to scream, to lash out at someone but there was no one nearby. The branches above him started lashing out violently and the water in front of him that had been calm a moment before started slap against the rocks loudly. He stared into the sunlit water and tried to clear his mind of all thought and memory but his mind refused to cooperate and he was thrown once more into the memory, everything around him dissolving again.
He remember feeling as if tongues of flame were slowly killing him from the inside. He could feel every nerve and cell within him burning in a fire so hot he was sure he would burst into flames at any moment. It felt as if everything inside him was melting, like the potion had been pure acid and was now eating away at him. He remembered begging Voldemort to just kill him so he could join his parents and Sirius. They had forced two more burning potions down his throat and Harry knew nothing but intense, burning pain for a long time after. He didn't know how long he'd been tortured with the potions but at some point someone had forced a different one down his throat, something like liquid ice. The burning sensation left him and in it's place was only intense bitter coldness. It had felt as if his blood was freezing in his veins and that he was slowly freezing to death. The cold was bone deep and more biting than that which was produced by Dementors. It hurt to breath and it felt as if thousands of needles were being driven into his organs and brain slowly cutting off his life force. He could feel the world around him slowly slipping away, everything was growing foggy and he could no longer feel his body. He felt like he was detached from it, like he was floating away on a wave of cold. He knew he was dying then and he welcomed it. The world around him had slowly faded away into complete blackness. When he'd finally come to he realized he was not dead and that they had chained him in a new position. The Death Eaters were chanting their horrible chant again and were moving over and around him. He could feel Dark magic surrounding him, cutting off his breath, freezing his thoughts and shrouding his will in a heavy darkness from which he could not escape. He could do nothing as the first Death Eater moved toward him except scream.
The memory was abruptly cut off by Harry then. He did not want to remember what the Death Eaters had done to him after that point. He did not want to remember how helpless he'd been to stop them. He did not want to hear his petrified pleading screams echoing around the room as the Death Eaters laughed at his helplessness. Instead he picked up a book on Defensive Magic he'd brought out with him and began to read, hoping to lose himself for awhile in studying, hoping the memory would leave him be.
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Excerpts from the Healing Journal of Harry Potter
8 October 1996
...I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything I used to know. It's almost like they are a part of another world from the one I now occupy, a world I can no long access because of my captivity. I've never felt more alone in my life, not even when the whole wizarding world seemed to have turned against me. I don't understand what I'm feeling anymore. Nothing is the same anymore. For the first time in my life I find that I am lost.
9 October 1996
I'm not sure who I am anymore. All is darkness and despair. I wish I could lock myself away somewhere or else die. There is nothing left of me. It is gone, lost in the darkness that was my captivity. Where has the boy gone that once swore to fight against Voldemort with everything he had in him, who said he would never give into him or the Dark, who flatly refused his heart's desire when it was offered in exchange for his soul? Why can't I find the courage that lead me to the Chamber to rescue Ginny, that lead me to fight off a hundred Dementors to save Sirius, that once lead me to duel the Dark Lord with nothing more than a Disarming Charm, to fight Voldemort and his Death Eaters again a year later and that lead me to willingly trade what I thought would be my life to ensure the protection of everyone else? Where has it all gone? I feel I have lost something valuable that may never be restored to me.
10 October 1996
...The visions have returned. He's been in my mind again, trying to get me to do his bidding but I refused. The pain of his anger was so great that I passed out and had to spend several days in bed. They tell me they will try to find a way to block him from my mind until I can rebuild my shields. Why bother? I am lost forever.
12 October 1996
These 'episodes' are growing stronger and more frequent. I don't know how to stop them and have chosen to lock myself in my room when I feel the beginnings of one rather than run the risk of hurting anyone else. The last 'episode' I had caused my magic to lash out at the others and they were hurt badly. I can't deal with this any longer. It's like I'm slowly going mad. I'm losing myself all over again just as I did before. Maybe that was Voldemort's plan from the start.
15 October 1996
So much pain inside...Someone please help me...I don't want to be here any longer...I want to be myself again. To heal...but everything hurts even my magic hurts me. It reminds me of all that was lost...I'm broken...never to be healed again...
25 October 1996
The healers have said that I have regained all the memory I am likely to regain and I am fine with that as most of the memories that are gone are either about things that happened to me when I was at the Dursley's or things that happened during my captivity. I'm fine with not remembering those things though there are days when I forget the simplest things and that scares me. It's like some of my memories are hazy or simply not there at all.
31 October 1996
The curse was finally lifted today. Ironic isn't it? Maybe now I can get back some of my lost strength. I'm supposed to start spellwork again tomorrow but I'm scared of hurting someone with my powers. I still don't have the fine control I once had. I'm not even sure I want to fight. Dumbledore told me that I could turn away from the Prophecy if I wanted to. I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I know I have to fight if for no other reason than to protect the others but somehow I can't seem to find the will to do so. Has my captivity caused me to lose even that? How could I lose something that was clear to me at eleven?
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A month had passed at the safe house and Harry appeared, at least on the surface, to have made a nearly complete recovery and was very nearly his old self. He still had trouble with his memory something that the Healers had attributed to both the excessive use of the Crucaitus Curse and brain damage resulting from his heart stopping during his first night there. It hadn't seemed to effect his knowledge of spells or his knowledge of other parts of his magical education however. If anything it had opened up his mind in a way that allowed him to seem to absorb new information and magical knowledge at a pace that would have had Hermione jealous. Snape was thankful that the boy's mind wasn't more damaged and if he had trouble remembering things like how to tie his shoes or someone's name it seemed to be balanced by this new skill of his.
Snape stood and watched the young man through an upstairs window feeling his powers even from here. Harry was standing by the lake practicing his spellwork with Draco in an attempt to restore some control over his powers, which was still sporadic at best. Surprisingly or maybe not, Harry's magical core had stabilized within a few hours after it had matured and had healed completely from the damage it has sustained within a few weeks after that. Most of his low level shielding had also returned though it had not yet strengthened to the level it had been at before he'd been captured. The shields around his mind were another matter. No matter what he'd tried they had refused to be restored. Snape had a theory that Voldemort himself was preventing Harry from restoring the shielding to his mind. At the moment they were taking it in turns to shield his mind from Voldemort's influence since it was clear that Voldemort could take control of Harry whenever he felt like it and they all had had a taste of what that had been like.
Snape watched Harry with a small smile playing about his mouth as he saw Malfoy's wand go flying from his hand and into Harry's own. The boy smiled slightly at this and returned the wand to Draco before resuming their exercise. It seemed that some of his control may have come back to him when his shielding returned. Snape was glad of it for he knew it would do much to help Harry's still fragile mental state.
Though he had long ago healed physically from his wounds and though his magical core pretty much healed, Harry had only marginally recovered from his ordeal mentally. Both Draco and Dudley had reported that Harry was having almost nightly nightmares that left him unable to return to his much needed rest and his 'episodes' were becoming more violent by the day. He was still carrying around the journal Snape had given him and he'd seen Harry writing in it several times but it seemed not to be as helpful as talking it out would have been.
Harry was continuing to bottle up all of his emotions inside, according to Dudley, and it was slowly eating away at him. All of them had tried to get him to open up but thus far he'd remained silent on the subject of his captivity. In fact, he rarely spoke at all these days, preferring to keep to himself and to spend hours staring blankly at nothing in particular. All of these things among others were worrying Snape and the others. Harry had never been a follower, he'd always taken the lead in any situation he'd found himself in. He been outspoken against evil and had also been recklessly unafraid of danger. He'd been willing to sacrifice himself to protect his friends. All that had changed with his capture it seemed. Now Harry never spoke unless spoken to first and never gave his opinion on anything. He was given to long periods of solitude and seemed to be easily frightened of everything around him. If he happened to be in a room with the others he would huddle in a corner by himself not interacting with anyone and acting as if they were either not in the room or like they were going to hurt him. Worst of all he seemed to be afraid of his own magic to the point that he flatly refused to do any offensive spells whatsoever and was only grudgingly willing to perform the vast defensive arsenal he had. It was almost as if he had already given up, like he didn't want to fight anymore and that was frightening to those who were aware that he held the only hope of defeating Voldemort within him. Thankfully no one outside of those in the safe house were aware of this yet. Not even Dumbledore was fully aware of it.
If Harry continued down this self destructive path it would lead to his own destruction. Voldemort wouldn't even have to lift a finger to destroy the 'Chosen One' Harry would do it for him and then Voldemort would be free to reign terror down on them all. Snape shivered at the thought, only half watching the two wizards dueling below him. Something would have to be done and soon or they might not be able to pull Harry back from the chasm he was standing before. Perhaps the time had come to return to Hogwarts and call in a mind healer like Dumbledore had written them only that morning. It was clear that Harry needed more help than they could give him in such a remote location though they had hoped time away from the wizarding world might help him recover. Maybe if he returned to something familiar with his friends around him then he would open up and finally begin to heal mentally.
An agonizing scream of pain below him brought Snape out of his musings. He looked down in to see Harry falling to the ground, still screaming and clutching at his unbandaged left arm. He saw the bandages he'd so carefully applied that morning fluttering to the ground in a fiery ribbon. He saw Draco running toward him with a look of utter horror on his pale face seconds before a bright white light enveloped them both. There was a deafening bang and the house shook as if an explosion had rocked it. When Snape could see again he saw Harry laying in the middle of a charred circular area, gray smoke curling in the air around him. He seemed to be twitching on the ground and muttering softly. Draco stood a few feet from him, staring at Harry clearly afraid to come any closer.
Snape pulled his eyes away from the scene below him and ran down the stairs and outside, his dark robes billowing around him. He could smell charred grass and wood on the air which tasted acidic. He arrived at Harry's side and ignoring everyone else he knelt at the twitching boy's side trying to see what he could do for him. Harry was mumbling incoherently still clutching at his left arm, his eyes tightly shut. His scar was standing out darkly on his forehead and his body was emanating waves of heat. Suddenly, his eyes shot open though it was clear by the blank quality of them that he saw nothing.
Harry shook his head violently and grimaced in pain. Snape attempted to move closer but was pushed back by a force almost like wind. Harry's eyes dropped closed again and he moaned in pain. His breathing became labored and it was clear that he was fighting off some compulsion. Snape looked around and noticed Dudley sprawled on the ground nearby unconscious and horror filled him. No one was shielding Harry's mind and Voldemort had used that opportunity to slip inside again. They had only seconds to do something.
"No...I will not hurt...cannot make me...not ever again...Don't want to...Leave me alone!"
Harry's face had become a mask of pain as he continued to fight off the compulsion and his body flinched as Voldemort's mind battered his own. On instinct Snape moved forward again and took hold of Harry's left arm that bore the cursed mark. He summoned some magically treated bandages to him and pushed the sleeve of Harry's jumper to expose the still unhealed wound. It was burning to the touch and unlike other Dark Marks , which burned black when the Dark Lord summoned them, the lightening mark on Harry's arm was burning a deep blood red and seemed to pulse as if alive. Harry cried out again and his right hand flew to the scar on his forehead.
His voice was shattered and Snape shuddered on hearing how weak and broken Harry sounded. "No...Please no...I'll do anything...just stop the pain...Whatever you want master...I'll obey...just make it stop...make it stop..."
Healer McDohl knelt at Harry's right side and tried to get the boy to lay down, talking to him in a soft, soothing voice but he thrown violently to the side. Snape could not hear Voldemort's reply but Harry's face paled and then contorted with anguish as another scream was ripped from his throat. He continued scream and trying to fight while his dull green eyes began to turn scarlet and slit pupiled as Voldemort possessed him. Snape ignored everything knowing they had little time left to them. If Voldemort succeeded in possessing Harry fully all was lost and they would all die painfully. Harry's mind would shatter completely and then everything would be over. Snape muttered incantation after incantation over the still unhealed wound and wrapped it carefully in the bandages ignoring the hissing words of Parseltongue Harry was now speaking in a cold voice not his own and the fact that he was trying very hard to break Snape's wand arm. Harry stopped screaming as soon as Snape's incantations were finished though his breathing was still labored and he was still clearly trying to throw off Voldemort's mind from his own and was losing this battle of wills.
Snape felt his arm snap and pain shot through his body but he willed himself to look down into the red eyes before him, willed those eyes to return to the vivid green that were Lily's. "Harry, you are not His. You are Light, He is Darkness. You have a power he doesn't understand. Remember? Try and remember. Please come back to us."
Harry's body convulsed on the ground and another moan escaped his mouth but his eyes slowly returned to the deep emerald they were normally. Snape could feel someone's mind shielding Harry's again and the boy fell limp as Voldemort's mind was blocked at last and all strength drained out of him. Then Snape muttered protective spells over the wound hoping to would be enough to block out any more influence from Voldemort at least long enough for them to get him under Hogwarts' protective wards. Harry's body relaxed farther and Snape looked up just in time to see the boy's eyes fixed on him with a look of concern before they rolled into his head and unconsciousness claimed him.