The Official JLA-What to do if genderswapped?-List

(honestly, I don´t know what this site does to my typing...I did made spaces in the headline..among other things)

Disclaimer: The heroes belong to DC...various creators...yaddayaddablablablaaaaaa

Summary: Catwoman and Batman were making out in a closet. When the league found them the universe (multiverse?) blinked and everyone was genderswappedThe JLA tried to manage this chaos...by making a list of What-to-do, What-to-avoid and What-would-had-better-been-left-unsaid.

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First of all, thank you very much. A big hug out to all my reviewers -biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig huuuuuuuuuuug-

thanks to JenesisDark, Proponent of EVO and Protector of Canon2

And because this fic was created from a very boring day at my holiday´s job and was inspired from a (better several) lists from a livejournal community called boostle (I´d give you the link, but doesn´t display them...hmmmmmm

try: http:// www. community. livejournal/ boostle. com

and eliminate the empty spaces

then go looking for the Lists, it´s worth it

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And to simply mention it: Feel free to contribute!

What would you do if you were a superhero whound him/herself suddenly genderswapped? What do you think would your favourite heroes do?

I´m planning to expand this to a list with 100 rules...so if you want me to add anything, just tell me

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26. We will not try to convince the Question that the Stonecutters are behind this.

27. Or the Illuminati/Assassini/Freimaurer/whatever-freaky-cult.

28. And no girl scouts.

29. We welcome any reasonable suggestion to solve our problem and return to our previous states

But reasonable does not mean giving Plastic Man, Booster Gold, Flash and Blue Beetle a chemistry set , send them to a lab and tell them to brew something. (It was actually J´onn´s idea to keep them occupied so they would not disturb other members who were really able to might help the JLA. Giving them access to explosive chemicals was -however- not his idea)

Or to test internet theories on Mister Miracle.

Or to grab yourself a magic item and try to make it work/grab a book and try to chant a spell using advice from the translating machine.

30. Dr Fate is not responsible for this.

Several leaguers accused him (mainly Booster who thought it may be payback for going through his stuff and send the superbuddies to hell-sort of). Dr Fate was sitting quite calmly on his couch and watched a Friends-Marathon on TV while this happened. After he recognized his current gender he got up, walked to his kitchen, grabbed a bucket of strawberry ice cream and returnd to the TV.

31. The spell "Hocus Pocus fidibus" does not work.

Please stop trying Green Lantern. It is encouraging to see your effort, but saying the same three words for 4 hours is just annyoing.

32. "Shazam" does not work either Captain Marvel.

33. For the record, I blame you

34. I think we got it after the like-70th time Beetle.

And no, blaming Booster won´t solve our problem. Although it´s a good method to relax.

35. The buisness with nude/semi-nude/topless models-pin-ups (with or without their consent) has to stop now.

Wonder Woman and Vixen had made half a fortune by taking pictures of confused genderswapped heroes and were now selling them. 10 dollar pro print.

36. We will not establish a Cân-Cân dance group.

37. Even humming the melody is forbidden.

38. Huntress and Green Arrow would not make a cute couple.

It would greatly upset Black Canary and her wrath is not something to be desired.

And you don´t want the Question to hold a grudge against you.

No, you really don´t.

We mean it.

39. We will not ignore orders from superiors.

The excuse "I don´t speak girly-language, so I can´t understand you, so I don´t listen to orders because I heard none, because I don´t speak girly language" is out of order. Definetely.

40. If this is indeed a plan-for-world-destruction it is a very bad idea. No one has lost his/her powers..except Wonder Woman.

Of course we suspect supervillains. But really...everyone´s gender was changed. Which supervillain would

1) think that would work

2)be nuts enough to pull it through and think it´s a good idea

3)like his gender changed?

Several people suggested the Joker, but since

1)he was at Arkham at that time and

2) he is evidently NOT enjoying it...we will think of another person.

41. No, we don´t think Darkseid´s behind that.

42. Our magical experts are doing their best to solve our problem.

Poking does not improve Zatanna´s concentration.Stop it!

43. Singing is now officially considered as a physical violating act and will be punished. Severly.

Ex-male leaguers discovered their voice range...and some of them (Flash, Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Plastic Man, Elongated Man, the Question) were using (or rather abusing) this. While one half sung various songs from Cats, the rest tried to produce the sound that could shatter glass.

We admit that "Memory" by Beetle didn´t sound bad...but the rest was horrible.

Since singing wouldn´t shatter glass, Plastic Man tried to do what Alf once did. Burping to make glass shatter. While he was proudly trying to make a glass crack, the others were gesturing wildly for him to stop. Because J´onn walked up behind him. To put it short, J´onn wasn´t happy...afterwards Plastic Man wasn´t , too.

44. Chasing fellow leaguers with mascara, kajal, lip stick, perfume, powder, body lotion and things alike is very inappropriate and hereby forbidden.

Although seeing Booster run from Supergirl and Starfire who tried to improve his looks was quite funny. Or Supes hiding in the vents cause Fire wanted him to try a dress on.

45. The JLA won´t allow Kyle to train an official JLA cheerleading squad

46. No, Guy, too, isn´t allowed to train it.

47. It doesn´t even EXIST a JLA cheerleading squad.

48. Male persons are not allowed among Etrigan.

Since Etrigan the Demon became Etrigan the succubus, he tried to devour male souls. With a lot of freaking out, screaming, yelling...until Captain Marvel knocked him out.

49. We will not hold a Wet-TShirt-Contest

50. I think asking Batman if you could hold a Wet-TShirt-contest was a very bad idea Vigilante.

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Bring me more reviwes..I crave for them, we wants it., preciousssssssssssssssssssss